How Old Does A Babysitter Need To Be?

[Madi100]

We are thinking (OK, I am. I just watched our Disney video and I'm going again) of going to WDW next December (05). I would like to take our niece with us. She will be 13 years old at the time. Her life consists of watching her twins sisters who are four right now. She is left at home with them all of the time. She and her older sister are the only two who ever watch them. So, she is rather responsible. Right now she is staying with us, and she is great.

Anyway, if we took her do you think that she is old enough to watch our other two children who will be 8 and almost 5 at the time? This last trip my DH and I enjoyed spending a couple evenings by ourselves. They would be sleeping. We wouldn't go out until later in the evening. We would want to go to Pleasure Island. My DH thinks that it wouldn't be a problem. She could handle it. I tend to be more over protective. What do you all think?

 

[all4fun]

Hi,
I'm not sure whether the question should really be whether she could handle it or not but whether or not she would want to do it. The way you describe her life sounds kind of sad to me - like she isn't even really allowed to just be a kid, but given the responsibility of babysitting her younger siblings all the time. Wouldn't it be nice for her to go to WDW and just "be a kid" like all the other kids and not have do any babysitting? This probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but just my 2cents.

Personally, I think you should just make use of the kids clubs or hire a babysitter to watch all three. Also, hotels aren't typically as safe as home, IMO. It's an unfamiliar environment with lots of strangers around. I wouldn't want to leave my kids unattended there with an older child who may not have the experience to know what to do in an emergency. The chances are that nothing bad will happen, but then if something did, how would you feel about it?

Once again, just my take on it. I hope I didn't offend.

Whatever you decide I hope all of you have a wonderful trip.

 

[Madi100]

Nope. You didn't offend me. The reason I want to take her is because of her life she has now. The reason that she is at my house right now and I have bought her school supplies, school shoes, school bag, taken her to Build-A-Bear, etc, is because of the life she leads. She was going to have to buy her school shoes with her birthday money. She was going to have to use her sister's old school bag.

I would not have her babysit at WDW except maybe leaving them alone at night when they were sleeping. That's it. Nothing else. I wouldn't let her go off on her own. I wouldn't expect her to watch my kids at all. Just wondering about the time at night when they would be sleeping. We would also have a cellphone along.

 

[zurgswife]

My dd 13 has watched her siblings during the last visit to WDW...we had a cell and she had a cell (no need to learn how to dial out on a hotel phone). We felt very comfortable.

 

[dg39]

IF she watches her younger sisters now, I'm sure she'll be fine in disney watching yours. Especially if there going to be sleeping. Just give her your cell phone # and tell her all the rules. She probably knows them already, ex. don't answer the door, don't tell anyone your not there, don't plug in the iron or anything electrical, etc. After a day at the parks she's probably going to be just as tired as the younger kids, and fall asleep watching t.v. I don't think its a big deal at all to have her watch your kids every once in awhile on vacation.

 

[kaseyC]

I think she will be fine watching them since she has the responsibility at home.
I also think it would be nice if you could possibly plan something special for her as well.
My SIL and family are traveling with us in Dec. Our 14 yr old Niece and her friend will be watching our girls one night. I purchased some Disney Dollars for them and also a DQ ticket for each of them. I am planning to take them over myself one night and let them be 14 yr olds and go back to pick them up when they are ready to leave.

 

[MinnieGi]

It sounds like she would be just fine watching your two at Disney on an occasional basis. I just wouldn't make your adult nights out too late as she'll need her sleep as well after long days in the parks and swimming etc. (You and DH may need the sleep too!)

I'm sure she would love to go!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Just a note that even with you both having cell phones, make sure that she knows how to dial out on the regular phone just in case. Sometimes getting a signal on cell phones can be difficult at WDW. Make sure also she knows how to call the lobby, and to dial 911 in an emergany.
I'm still not sure I would leave a 13 year old in a motel room with younger children for a long-late night. Perhaps dinner in the resort you are staying at would be a nice idea. Going from a resort to DD can somtimes take a while. Maybe take your own car if you will have one. I would also only consider the idea of leaving them if you are on site, at a resort that has inside hallways.
Sounds like you are being very important to this young girl right now. I am sure she will never forget what you are doing for her.

Jordans' mom

 

[Madi100]

Originally posted by MinnieGi
It sounds like she would be just fine watching your two at Disney on an occasional basis. I just wouldn't make your adult nights out too late as she'll need her sleep as well after long days in the parks and swimming etc. (You and DH may need the sleep too!)

I'm sure she would love to go!

Right now we are thinking of staying at the Contemporary Tower. I have to convince DH it would be worth the money first. So we would be in a room with inside corridors.

Also, I wouldn't really expect her to stay up and watch them. It would be more sleeping in the room with them. I just can't decide yet if I think she could handle it. She comes from a family (DH's family) where it's OK to leave 14 year olds alone by themselves for a week at a time So, I'm sure the family would see nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately, I parent a little differently.

 

[Kendra17]

Gosh, that's sad. . .she's so lucky to have you. This is off the subject, but is she going to stay with you through the school year?

You know, if you DID hire a disneysitter, they would play with ALL of the kids--she might have a great time.

I sometimes leave my 12 year old (who has completed a babysitting class) alone, but I would NOT do it in a hotel room. I know that MOST likely nothing could happen, but sometimes, weird things Do happen.

My daugher is very responsible, and we went to the movies one day. The movie was playing in a couple of the theaters, and she left to go to the bathroom (I stayed with my younger 2). She didn't come back, and I was so reluctant to get up with my 2 younger kids and look for her, since I kept on thinking she'd be back any second, and I was convinced that she wasn't hurt (which she wasn't, and yes, I was wrong here).

Anyways, I did get up to look for her, and she was crying. She had gone into the wrong theater (playing the same movie), couldn't find us, was scared to ask for help, and had been a little disoriented from her experience. Anyways, as mature as she is (and, she is!), I was forced to remember that she's just a little girl, really.

Imagine if the 13 year old left the room for a few minutes. . .just a few. . .I don't know, I wouldn't do it.

 

[Madi100]

No, she's not staying with us through the school year. I wish she were. Her mom loves her very much and misses her. She just doesn't have a clue about priorities. I fear for these girls. There is an older one too who is 14. She dresses way too old for her age. What scares me most is that my SIL got pregnant TWICE in high school. Once when she was about 15 and then when she was 17. So, you'd think she'd grow up and learn from her lessons. She got divorced about five years ago and the first guy she met got her pregnant. To make it worse, with twins. To make it even worse, when they were two they found out that he had another daughter who was about a month older than the twins So, yeah, I'd love for her to come and live, but I don't think her mom would allow it.

And, I am strongly condering having a sitter come in. I guess we'll have to wait and see how things go. My dad has said he wants to go next time we do, so maybe that would alleviate any problems with a sitter.

 

[fran99999]

I have no problem with the babysitting. I had my DD now16 watch my DS5 last year at Disney with no problems at the Contemporary.

I do have a problem with the sleeping part. I think if she is going to babysit in the hotel room alone. She should remain awake until you get home. I know my DD sleeps quite soundly and if something were to happen I question her waking up and having the reflexes needed to keep the situation under control in unfamiliar surroundings while still partially asleep.

I instructed my DD to call the front desk first if it was an emergency ie bleeding, or stranger at the door. Then call me on cell phone with desk on other line. I would also make sure you have a backup plan to get back to the hotel quickly ie taxi if necessary. I know they are available all over Disney.

We went to MK to see Spectromagic parade. DD and DS were just to tired to go back that evening. We were going to go back to hotel room when DD called to say she was watching a good movie that just started and could we please stay out until it was over LOL . She didnt have to twist my arm.

 

[Kendra17]

Originally posted by Madi100
No, she's not staying with us through the school year. I wish she were. Her mom loves her very much and misses her. She just doesn't have a clue about priorities. I fear for these girls. There is an older one too who is 14. She dresses way too old for her age. What scares me most is that my SIL got pregnant TWICE in high school. Once when she was about 15 and then when she was 17. So, you'd think she'd grow up and learn from her lessons. She got divorced about five years ago and the first guy she met got her pregnant. To make it worse, with twins. To make it even worse, when they were two they found out that he had another daughter who was about a month older than the twins So, yeah, I'd love for her to come and live, but I don't think her mom would allow it.

And, I am strongly condering having a sitter come in. I guess we'll have to wait and see how things go. My dad has said he wants to go next time we do, so maybe that would alleviate any problems with a sitter.

Oh, she sounds a lot like my daughter's friend's mother. The mother and i were talking and she shared her history with me--teenage drug use, pregnancy, etc., staying out all night--. Then, another time, she asked me if my daughter could go spend a few weeks with her daughter and her mother's (the daughter's grandmother's) house.

Uhh. . .no. . . All I could think of was the (lack of) supervision they'd have.

Sleeping seems okay to me if she's babysitting--as long as she's easily roused.

 

[swilshire]

The only problem I have with the sitter sleeping is that I would want the deadbolt or chain to be on if I weren't in the room. That would make it a problem when you came home. We even do this at home (force the sitter to stay awake if we're away at night). When my oldest was about six or seven, she woke us up in a hotel room trying to get out the door. She must have been walking in her sleep. If the chain hadn't been on, no telling where she would have wound up.

I took DD15 (very mature) and DS7 on a business trip with me a couple of years ago. They had a blast watching TV all day (we don't have cable at home) and we played after work and on the weekend. They were not allowed to leave the room or unbolt the door while I was away. We left a note for the maids each day listing what we needed and they put it in a bag on the door. They were probably thrilled to get to finally clean when we went out for the day on Saturday. We were in a Residence Inn, so they had a refrigerator full of food and a microwave.

I think this would be fine as long as you were close enough by to return quickly. I would also leave detailed instructions for any emergency. The CM at the front desk would also be a big help in the unlikely event that there was an emergency.

Sheila

 

[jkovick]

I think it is great that you want to take your niece with you. I do have one question though. Is it going to cause major problems with her siblings if she gets to go to WDW and the others don't? Kids are so about "fairness" and it sounds like they all have it pretty rough.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's great to take her, I just wondered about thefeelings of the other children.

 

[Madi100]

Well, as much as I want to be fair, I've tried to get involved with the older niece. She is 14. She really wants nothing to do with us. She doesnt' like leaving her mother. I could not handle the twins. They are four years old. They'd be almost six by the time we would go, but they are not very well behaved children. This niece that is staying with us really wants to be part of our lives. DH really doesn't want to have much to do with his family. As much as I'd love to take all of these kids on a vacation. One, I don't have the money. Two, I don't have the patience. I feel bad as it is that we aren't doing anything for the older one for school. We've spent a lot of money on the one staying with us. I don't want to send money because if I'm buying I won't buy "slutty" clothes. Sorry, I know that teenagers dress skimpy, but with what she wears it make most teenagers look innocent. She doesn't want to come and stay with us. So, no shopping for her here.

I know this has become way off subject to what I originally asked. But, I feel that ANYTHING that I choose to do for this famiy is 100% more than I will ever get back. I won't get a thank-you from her mother for all of the stuff I bought my niece.

 

[Kendra17]

It's too bad she can't just come live with you--even though her mother really loves her; it sounds like she's thriving with the stability you offer her--that's great.

You know what, you're doing so much for her. .. you are probably changing her life. Not just WDW, either, but just your obvious affection and appreciation for her. I know you didn't mean this exactly, but really, you'll get back 1000% when you watch her grow up and make good choices and decisions--despite the fact that her mom may never thank you. Hopefully, she'll be able to help her little sisters like you're helping her.

Good Luck!