How often do you see your grandchildren? Let us know if it’s on FaceTime/skype more

[Skippy918]

MIL lives 10 mins away so the kids see her twice a month on average.
My parents live in another state and the kids see them 2-3 times a year, but we all have iPads so they will FaceTime a few times a week. My mom loves chatting with them on video and she’ll play games with them as well.

 

[Skippy918]

my first grandchild, a boy was born a year ago. He and his mom & dad live an hour away. I see him about once a month, sometimes twice a month. I would see him more but with my SUV the gas is too expensive and I’m a more nervous driver now to take long drives. Don’t ask why his parents don’t take the drive to us but we do talk on phone a few times a week.

It’s hard to travel with an infant. Some don’t like the car and will cry. If the visitors house is not baby proofed, that is stressful. Having no toys for the child to play with is also stressful. If they both work, they would likely want to catch up on household stuff over the weekend. Not making excuses for them since I don’t know your relationship but for us, these were key things of why we didn’t go anywhere when the kids were little.

 

[aprilchem]

Don’t ask why his parents don’t take the drive to us but we do talk on phone a few times a week.

I can tell you my experience. My in-laws used to give us a hard time about this when our kids were young. They were retired, in great health, and had plenty of money to travel. We had two jobs, a baby and two toddlers, and were struggling to get through each day, yet they wanted us to be the ones to strap all the kids in the car and drive hours (likely with a screaming child, since one of our hated the carseat) to get to their non baby-proofed house, where I'd frantically follow the babies from room to room trying to keep them from breaking something or hurting themselves. It was exhausting, and usually led to a fight between DH and his parents and a frazzled mom.

It was something we did for a while, but eventually DH drew the line and said "if you want to see the kids, please come to us". We committed to two trips to them a year, and invited them to come to our house as much as they pleased.

 

[bigbabyblues]

It is hard to go anywhere with little ones. You have to work around feeding times and nap times, pack up all the stuff they will need, unload all that stuff when you arrive, deal with fussy babies in the car, and then like the above poster mentioned, if the house you go to isn't baby proofed, making sure they aren't where they shouldn't be, touching tempting things they shouldn't touch the whole time. Depending on how the little one sleeps, they may still be getting up at night and not getting a full night's sleep, in addition to working and trying to keep up with household chores.

As I mentioned before, my ILs live close, but they had pretty much all the essentials at their house too. She had the same carseat base and later a carseat that we had for when she kept our boys. She had a play pen, a crib, a high chair, a bouncy seat, an exersaucer, baby gates, and her house was pretty well baby proofed. She kept a pack of diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, most everything they needed.

 

[Simba's Mom]

I guess we're not unusual. We live about 500 miles from our DGDs, a full days drive. We see them about 5-6 times a year for a weekend. In between we FaceTime about once (so 5-6 times a year for that too). DS is nice enough to text us first "Is it OK for the girls to FaceTime with you?" Also, we keep up on Facebook, sometimes DDIL will "go live" at their soccer/softball games. Last year, DS and DDIL went to Shanghai for a week for his job, so we had a week of "grandparent duty" living there, taking the girls to/from school, homework, games, etc. We loved it! DS already asked about another trip this year, and we're looking forward to it.

 

[quandrea]

I can tell you my experience. My in-laws used to give us a hard time about this when our kids were young. They were retired, in great health, and had plenty of money to travel. We had two jobs, a baby and two toddlers, and were struggling to get through each day, yet they wanted us to be the ones to strap all the kids in the car and drive hours (likely with a screaming child, since one of our hated the carseat) to get to their non baby-proofed house, where I'd frantically follow the babies from room to room trying to keep them from breaking something or hurting themselves. It was exhausting, and usually led to a fight between DH and his parents and a frazzled mom.

It was something we did for a while, but eventually DH drew the line and said "if you want to see the kids, please come to us". We committed to two trips to them a year, and invited them to come to our house as much as they pleased.

This was my experience, except I had infant twins and a five year old. I asked my parents to come to us, they wouldn’t. They don’t talk to me any more.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

My daughter sees my mom probably 3-4 times a weeks, sometimes more. I was a teenage single mom so my mother helped raise her from the second she was born and they have a very close relationship.

I am pregnant with my second child and while we don’t live with my parents anymore I fully expect my mom to come over multiple times a week to see my son when he is born. We only live 10 minutes away from them so it a very easy commute between our houses.

My husband’s parents live in the same neighborhood as us and are a 10-15 minute walk away so we will probably see them a lot as well. Fortunately I get along really well with my ILs and don’t mind them coming over.

Both grandmas will help watch him when I go back to work as well.

 

[lorimay]

I am indeed a lucky grandparent.
I pick up my two older ones (9&10) from school almost everyday and they spent a couple hours here until mom gets out of work, they live about 10-15 minutes away.
My newest grandson(13 months) and his parents live here, so I get the joy of him everyday, I care for him while they are at work.

 

[Floridaman999]

We see our granddaughter about 3 to 5 times a week during the school year. Once school is out, we'll see her almost every day because she loves to participate in the outdoor activities we do.

 

[dosekies]

Not a grandparent, but my parents have 2 grandchildren so far, both from my older brother and SIL. They live about 1.5 hours away from each other, but my parents see them at least twice a month usually. Nana is my older niece's (6) FAVORITE person ever so she will do whatever she can to visit or see her. She will FaceTime my mom any chance she gets haha. She has a baby sister now too (7 mo) so they love helping out with her. If my brother goes back to work overseas again, my parents usually have them friday-sunday every other weekend while my SIL works.

 

[amberpi]

We try to make sure the in town in-laws and my folks see the kids at least once every other week; usually it's more. They are an amazing amount of help to us when we want to go to concert or I have a medical thing and need DH. DH's dad though has only seen the boy twice and the girl maybe 4 times. They live in Tampa and when we've been at WDW - 2 full 1 week vacations last year - and we offered to pay for tickets, meals, etc. they still couldn't be bothered to drive over. They wanted us to drive to them...ah, no. I've still never met the man. Some parents seem to think parenting ends the moment the kid turns 18.

This was my experience, except I had infant twins and a five year old. I asked my parents to come to us, they wouldn’t. They don’t talk to me any more.

That's awful.

 

[ashley0139]

my first grandchild, a boy was born a year ago. He and his mom & dad live an hour away. I see him about once a month, sometimes twice a month. I would see him more but with my SUV the gas is too expensive and I’m a more nervous driver now to take long drives. Don’t ask why his parents don’t take the drive to us but we do talk on phone a few times a week.

So you don't want to drive there because it's expensive and you don't want to, but you expect them to pack up a kid with all their stuff and drive to you and can't imagine why they don't? Okay...

 

[quandrea]

We try to make sure the in town in-laws and my folks see the kids at least once every other week; usually it's more. They are an amazing amount of help to us when we want to go to concert or I have a medical thing and need DH. DH's dad though has only seen the boy twice and the girl maybe 4 times. They live in Tampa and when we've been at WDW - 2 full 1 week vacations last year - and we offered to pay for tickets, meals, etc. they still couldn't be bothered to drive over. They wanted us to drive to them...ah, no. I've still never met the man. Some parents seem to think parenting ends the moment the kid turns 18.



That's awful.

It is. I guess my point to the op is get in the car (sell the suv if you have to) and go visit the grandkids.

With dh’s Mom, he sees her once a week with the kids. I’m often home cleaning for the week on those Sunday morning visits. That visit doesn’t happen if there is a swim meet, which is quite often. We get together for birthdays and holidays. She’ll drop by here when she can.

 

[amberpi]

It is. I guess my point to the op is get in the car (sell the suv if you have to) and go visit the grandkids.

Yes, OP - don't expect for them to come to you. Goodness! Seriously consider a different car, or maybe an Uber share situation to keep down costs or train/bus?

 

[tazdev3225]

My kids all moved to within 5 minutes from my house so as often as I want.
My DIL and I do not really get along and I see my grandson occasionally, usually when she needs me to keep an eye on him but he is 15 (and autistic), so that isn't to often. My oldest grandson is 20 so he has his own life now; I used to see him several days a week when he played ball as I went to all of his games. I see the other 6 grandkids once or twice a week but that will increase to almost daily in the summer. They are getting older so I am not needed to be with them as much as I once was and they are in school right now. I consider myself to be very fortunate that I have a great relationship with all of them. We are a close knit family.

 

[wishesuponastar]

So you don't want to drive there because it's expensive and you don't want to, but you expect them to pack up a kid with all their stuff and drive to you and can't imagine why they don't? Okay...

Yes it’s too expensive, we are on a tight budget. One day we might get a smaller vehicle but that won’t help me to drive to see grandson more because as I said in the original post, I am afraid to drive far distances.

I don’t expect to see my grandson at my house often but at least they could come here maybe 3 times a year but no big deal if they don’t come.

 

[mmouse37]

We are very fortunate grandparents. We see our local grandkids practically everyday and talk/Facetime our distant grandchild (west coast we are on the east coast) at least 2x a DAY. Our son and DIL lived two towns away but sold their house a year ago and moved in with us. They bought a house literally 6 houses away from us and just moved in there two weeks ago. Even before they moved in we would see them several times a week (it was mutual). We try to get out to Oregon a few times a year and my daughter and granddaughter try to come to NY a few times a year. We Facetime with them every day one or two times. I love that we can keep up with all the day to day activities. My DD and DGD met us in Disneyland two weeks ago and our granddaughter who is 3 had absolutely no shyness towards us as she sees us and talks to us all the time on Facetime.

We just had our 16 month old and 3 year old grandkids with us the whole weekend as their mom just had a new baby girl Friday!!! We truly feel lucky that we get to see our kids and grandkids a lot and we all get along. We watch our two (now 3) grandkids who live local full time.

MJ

 

[wishesuponastar]

Daughter is going to get IPhone soon so that will be nice to FaceTime them.

 

[wishesuponastar]

This was my experience, except I had infant twins and a five year old. I asked my parents to come to us, they wouldn’t. They don’t talk to me any more.

I’m so sorry. Your parents are so wrong to act that way to you.

 

[luvsJack]

So you don't want to drive there because it's expensive and you don't want to, but you expect them to pack up a kid with all their stuff and drive to you and can't imagine why they don't? Okay...

Not sure how old the op is but many people’s anxiety from driving grows as they get older. It’s not just “don’t want to”.