How often do you Hear from your Adult children?

[4nana]

Our two local DD's we usually hear from daily, be it phone/email/text, also watch our sweet DGS so DD2 is here 2x a week. Our DD3, 5hrs away, calls or emails daily, sometimes several times a day . DS is 6 hrs away, he's a once a weeker at his best, but we enjoy hearing from DIL several times a week.

 

[NotUrsula]

When my mother was alive I spoke to her about once a month on average. (I lived about 900 miles away from where I grew up, so I usually saw her once a year.) My MIL lives a few miles from us; DH speaks with her about once a week, but she's a rather needy kind of person who gets passive-aggressively nasty if he doesn't call or go to see her, so you might say that she's holding his feet to the fire for that frequency.

My own parents wrote to their parents about once a month; they never called because overseas calls were too expensive back before phone deregulation. (The last of my grandparents died in the mid-1960's.)

Once a month will probably be what I expect from my own kids after they leave home, but if they don't get around to it I won't be upset about it. Life happens.

 

[Handbag Lady]

If I ever hear from my adult children, I would faint.















(Considering I don't have any children...)

 

[Jill in Chicago]

I am curious as to why you ask? Has someone said something to you about the number of times you call your children? Do you feel your children should call you more often?

Though polls are always fun and it's neat to hear about other families the most important thing is that it works for you. If you feel like you are not in contact with your children enough, call them more. Or ask them to call you. Or set up a time once a week that you always call. For my mom and I e-mail works better. My mom doesn't enjoy talking on the phone.

My best friend used to talk to her mom every day. Some people found this excessive. So what. She and her mom were (her mom has passed away) best friends.

Bottom line. If you want to hear from your kids more often be pro-active. Maybe you can text. Maybe, if they live close by, you can meet for a quick lunch. Maybe they like to do things, versus talk, so a ball game together or some other type of outing. Or just invite them over to hang out and watch a sport on t.v.. Maybe you all can meet up at a hotel that is half way between your homes and have a weekend together, swim in the hotel pool... that works well if there are grandchildren involved. Maybe they find sitting around at your house, or their home, and talking is boring. (Oh my gosh I personally find hanging out at the in-laws boring.)

Just tossing some ideas out there. If it is someone else telling you that your contact with your own children is excessive tell them firmly, "Don't be a hater." It will catch them off guard and most likely shut them up.

 

[minniecarousel]

We go to younger DS & DDIL's softball game every Tuesday night. Otherwise, we only see them maybe once a month and talk maybe every other week. Older DS & DDIL - we see them usually weekly, and take them out to dinner. We'd take out the younger ones for more meals if they had the time.

This "the phone works both ways" was a constant problem with my Mom. She lived with DH & I, and she'd hear from two of my brothers only ocassionally. (the rest checked in either weekly or daily.) I told her that she can call my brothers just as easily as they could call her. She had a thing that the boys should call their mother. I just didn't want them to regret not calling her more often.

 

[RadioFanatic]

at least once a week, on sundays, we call to catch up. Most of the time, I'll call for some reason or another in addition to that. They live 12 hours away.

 

[phillmolly]

I talk to my mom at least every other day or so, more like every day but it just depends on what we have going on. I usally see my mom several times a week, she lives just behind my favorite grocery store, so I usally stop by before or after my shopping trip. My dad and step mom I usally talk to once a week or so and I try to see them at least once a month, they live about an hour away from us. My MIL we only talk to maybe once a month and we haven't see her since she moved out of state.

I always joke that I will talk to my son every single day even if he ends up the moon! He is only 21 months old right now but I really do intend to talk to him everyday.

 

[Poohbear123]

I am in contact with my DS who is 27 living in Orlando (the stinker)..LOL About 4-5 days out of the week! He is such a good boy! My DD......yea her....ummm...NOT MUCH considering everytime she calls she wants $$$ and she makes about 10,000 a year MORE than me, but can't budget worth crap!

 

[Micca]

Our DDs are in their late 20s and both live hundreds of miles away. I talk to each of them on the phone at least once a week. DW handles most of the emails and texting on a more frequent basis.

 

[luvsJack]

My oldest son and I communicate almost daily when he is home (works offshore) either through text or facebook messages--usually something just short and sweet, like "hey did you know . . . ". Not long conversations or anything like that.

Younger ds and I talk every day.

I talk to my mom every day, dh talks to his mom or someone else from his family (they all live next door to each other) every other day or so.

 

[minkydog]

This is pretty interesting to me. DH & I moved away from home in 1981 and never looked back. He calls his mom once a week and his sister a couple times a week. I, OTOH, talk to my mom once or twice in a MONTH. and I may talk with one of my four sibs once a month. I guess that's why I don't get why people want to be in each other's hip pocket. That would drive me crazy.

We have one adult child and one who will be an adult next spring. DS23 almost never calls me, but he talks to his sister, DD17, and he drops by the house 3-4 times a week to hang out. Neither one of us hankers to have to talke to each other on a daily basis. I love him dearly, but we all function better with some space in our lives.

 

[Anne34]

at least once a week, on sundays, we call to catch up. Most of the time, I'll call for some reason or another in addition to that. They live 12 hours away.

Same Here -- I call my parents every sunday. (usually) they live 4 hours away.

My husband talks to his dad often (they worked together - but DFIL is semi-retired), but Rarely to his mom.

 

[PatsGirl]

My parents and three siblings all live within 15 minutes from me. I speak to each of them a few times each month depending...birthdays and Moms Day, anniversarys all require a personal visit

DS went into the USAF two years ago and its like pulling teeth to get him to call so I call him about every two or three weeks. I also email or FB him to ask if he's alive and he responds with a quick YES, Mom, fine here, lol. I'd call more often but he doesn't really like to share with me yet (I'm hoping he will as he matures) and often I feel intrusive. Sure, changed his diapers, baited his fishing line, gave him driving lessons and I feel like I'm intruding, something is seriously wrong with this picture

 

[java]

I talk to my mom twice a week. She calls me on Wed. and Sat. They are brief calls- and they are like clockwork. I wish it wasn't that way because I know how difficult it will be to have those days go by without a call when one of us is gone.

 

[Teacher03]

I talk to my mom twice a week. She calls me on Wed. and Sat. They are brief calls- and they are like clockwork. I wish it wasn't that way because I know how difficult it will be to have those days go by without a call when one of us is gone.

It is difficult...my mom passed away 3 years ago, and I think I miss our casual talks more than anything.

My oldest daughter is 25 and lives 6 hours away-we talk everyday! My son is 24 and we talk about 3 times a week. My younger daughter is 20 and lives at home for the summer. When she is at college, we usually talk everyday.

 

[Kimberly]

I'm about a 4 hour flight time away from my parents, and they hear from me a few times a month. I try to call them every week or so, but a lot of times I'll forget, or they wont be home.

 

[JVL1018]

When my mom was alive my parents lived 5 minutes away. I saw them once a week at least and talked to my mom on average 5 or so times a week. Sometimes it was 5 or so times per day.
I don't talk to my dad at all anymore.

My MIL passed away, but we share a 2 family house with my father in law. I don't call him obviously because he lives right next to me, but I see him pretty much every day coming or going.

 

[Meriweather]

DD...28 and I e-mail several times a day....we live in different states
She calls at least 3-4 times a week

DS...30, calls about twice a week...he also lives in a different state
DDIL...31 calls about every other week

 

[AshleyW]

My parents & younger brother live in Florida. I talk to mom about every other day.. usually just texting something quick. We have a long (hour-ish) talk on the phone usually every Sunday morning. I hardly ever talk to my dad on the phone.. he's not a big talker. Usually only when he answers mom's cell phone, and on holidays. I text him sometimes when I hear about stuff we're both interested in (movies, football stuff). When they lived in Iowa, we usually ate dinner at their house once or twice a week, and we had a weekly Poker Night & bonfire with extended family on Saturdays at their house.

For awhile, I hardly talked to my brother.. once every few months, tops. We've got very different lives, so we don't have much to talk about. But, his girlfriend is pregnant, so now we talk/text about once a week. I'm excited to be an auntie for the first time, so I like to get weekly baby updates.

My fiance's parents live about 15 minutes away. He talks to his mom on the phone 1-2x a week, and we go to their house for either lunch or dinner on Sundays. They camp a lot, so sometimes we'll spend a night at the campground with them instead of doing a big Sunday dinner.

 

[MichelleVW]

This is pretty interesting to me. DH & I moved away from home in 1981 and never looked back. He calls his mom once a week and his sister a couple times a week. I, OTOH, talk to my mom once or twice in a MONTH. and I may talk with one of my four sibs once a month. I guess that's why I don't get why people want to be in each other's hip pocket. That would drive me crazy.

We have one adult child and one who will be an adult next spring. DS23 almost never calls me, but he talks to his sister, DD17, and he drops by the house 3-4 times a week to hang out. Neither one of us hankers to have to talke to each other on a daily basis. I love him dearly, but we all function better with some space in our lives.

Talking to my mom every day for a few minutes hardly means I'm in her hip pocket. It means she lives a few states away and it's free to call her on my cell phone and it's free for her to call me.