How NOT to write a cover letter

[Deb in IA]

Here are some examples of real cover letters, received by Killian Advertising company, and posted on their website.


http://www.killianadvertising.com/coverletters.html

Some real winners are:

Skills: Microst word, excel, and power point. Mulitaks person, public speaking, and surveying.

Who's better to spew out incite, than a college senior ... ?"

I am seeking a new position as i have recently been laid."

I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.

I need to connect with open-minded people like myself! My crime was a 'non-violent, victimless' one. I'm hoping this letter is reaching people who have or do smoke weed ..."

"I am a motivated, self-igniting person who greatly entertains the challenges of bettering myself and the performance of work that I do."

 

[Serena]

"I am a motivated, self-igniting person who greatly entertains the challenges of bettering myself and the performance of work that I do."

I'll give him/her that at least.

 

[Deb in IA]

I'll give him/her that at least.

Yeah, but the 'self-igniting' part might be a bit scary . . . keep him/her away from flammables . . .

 

[Shugardrawers]

Here are some examples of real cover letters, received by Killian Advertising company, and posted on their website.


http://www.killianadvertising.com/coverletters.html

Some real winners are:

Skills: Microst word, excel, and power point. Mulitaks person, public speaking, and surveying.

Who's better to spew out incite, than a college senior ... ?"

I am seeking a new position as i have recently been laid."
I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.

I need to connect with open-minded people like myself! My crime was a 'non-violent, victimless' one. I'm hoping this letter is reaching people who have or do smoke weed ..."

"I am a motivated, self-igniting person who greatly entertains the challenges of bettering myself and the performance of work that I do."

Well, ya know, same old same old can get boring

 

[disneymom3]

I think those were written by my very close friends in....fill in the blank with some country very far away with no legal system......who have a lot of money they would just love to share with me.

Have these people never heard of spell check?? "Self igniting" Someone got carried away with their thesaurus!

 

[MyGoofy26]

Reading some of the things on the link, I start cracking up at this:

[Editor's note: although his response fascinated us, you can understand why we no longer reply to the Differently Stable.]

Differently Stable. . . I LOVE IT! I'm going to store that in my mental dictionary and use it often.

 

[Serena]

Yeah, but the 'self-igniting' part might be a bit scary . . . keep him/her away from flammables . . .

and away from me.

 

[Galahad]

May I ask you for spending a little moment in looking at some of my interesting facts?"

 

[Deb in IA]

Reading some of the things on the link, I start cracking up at this:



Differently Stable. . . I LOVE IT! I'm going to store that in my mental dictionary and use it often.

I liked the "Differently Stable" too!!!

 

[bellarose23]

Thank you for the much needed laugh!

 

[MainStMandy]

"I have been on Sabitcal for a while." [Side effects of Sabitcal may include dizziness, brain cramps, and bonehead spelling errors. Ask your doctor if Sabitcal is right for you.]

 

[MainStMandy]

Oh and....
"That I offer my services at all, you may take as a complement, since I am one of the new wave of workers more interested in the quality of my work than the new fangaled fast buck concepts of the past few years."

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.

How did you get a hold of my resume???

 

[LadyyRedd]

Reminds me of a Friends episode.....

"Rachel, did you proofread this?" (speaking of her resume)
"Yeah, why?"
"Excellent compuper skills"
"Oh no, do you think it's on all of them?"
"No, I'm sure the copy machine caught it."

Kimya