How much of your child's illness is a parent required to divulge to school staff?

[mhsjax]

lol my dd9 just stayed home yesterday for a "personal day" but on her note it will say she wasn't feeling well. my dd11 was sick a lot this year in the start of the year so no personal days for her this year!

Or my favorite excuse, (you can't really say it). I have eye problems, I can't really see myself coming in today.

 

[Mkrop]

You need to figure out why your kid is so sick that he is missing school this often. It won't be acceptable when he gets older.
Maybe take him to the doctor and figure out what is up? Just a thought...if you said that this year was just a bad year, that would be one thing - but it sounds like this is the "usual" for him. If you said that you take him to the doc because he is always sick and you can just send those notes, it would be one thing. But from the sound of your original post - he is just sick, and you just keep him home. But, at the same time - you don't get any other care (from a medical professional) where you can provide further proof of treatment to the school. If he is sick enough that he can't go to school, that often, he should be seeing someone for evaluation. He is having trouble functioning... most children do not miss that much school. It isn't normal.
If it is a chronic condition, you need to see if you can get the condition in better control, and possibly he needs to be on a 504 plan. You need to get a plan in place to deal with these issues.
Good luck OP!

I agree with this...if my child is that sick that often to miss that much school I would want them seen by a professional to figure out what is up. If it is then determined that my child has a chronic condition then I would want the school aware so that they would understand the need for these abscences.

I am not opposed to having the occasional mental health day or even taking kids out for vacations, nor do I think you need to run to the Drs for every little thing...but if my child was that high in the #s of abscences I would want it documented bc I would want to know WHY my kid is so sick so frequently.

 

[NaLisa]

Wow, lots of interesting comments here. I don't understand the anger directed at the schools/teachers/administrators, who are simply following policies and laws implemented by others.

My children typically miss 3-4 days of school a year, usually for a fever or diarrhea that does not require a doctor's care. When they return to school, I simply send in a note stating "DD missed school yesterday due to a fever which did not require a doctor's care. She has been fever-free for 24 hours." The absences are excused with a parental note, but I'm sure they would request a doctor's note for longer/more absences.

We don't do personal days but will occasionally take the kids out of school early if we're going on a trip. Early dismissal does not count against attendance here, so they can be in school for 15 minutes and be counted present. In our old school district, they tallied early dismissal and it counted against the students' attendance records, so I had to provide notes for dental visits, etc. to have the early dismissals excused.

Schools and teachers are under a lot of pressure and get understandably frustrated at repeated absences that negatively affect the entire school and well as the whole class and the individual student.

 

[3boymthr]

Your son is sick a lot but...


The school is not allowed to ask that.

It's a violation of HIPAA.

Let them know that and that you'll be sending the letter to your attorney if they persist in this line of questioning.

 

[Christine]

Your son is sick a lot but...


The school is not allowed to ask that.

It's a violation of HIPAA.

Let them know that and that you'll be sending the letter to your attorney if they persist in this line of questioning.

Admittedly, I don't know a lot about HIPAA, but I don't know how giving the information is a violation of that law. I thought this had to do with healthcare providers having access to your health records and then not protecting that information. I didn't think that HIPAA applied to the relationship between the school and the parent. Now, really, I'm just asking since I don't understand the law but was hoping you could explain how it is a violation.

 

[Geoff_M]

Wow, lots of interesting comments here. I don't understand the anger directed at the schools/teachers/administrators, who are simply following policies and laws implemented by others.

I think the "why" is pretty understandable. The emerging consensus nowadays is that, when it comes to issues surrounding schooling, the opinions/decisions of the parents should reign supreme. Queries such as the one in this thread are seen as a potential affronts to that self-perceived authority.

 

[bgirldeb]

Not that you'd have time to do this, but I think you should compose a lengthy eloquent essay detailing the events of each absence.

"On the morning of August 31 I awoke to the promise of a new day. Birds were singing and the curtains blew gently in the breeze. I Gingerly tiptoed to awaken little Johnny when lo, I noted a crimson tinge and distinctive warmth to his cheeks! ...."
.

I love this!

If I replied at all to that message (and it's likely I would ignore it as it's not required) would be short and to the point. I would not lie, as there is no reason to lie. Quote their policy. My reply might look something like this:

According to the Parent Handbook on page 16, students "may miss 20 school days due to illness; or 10 in each semester". According to the message I received from you, my son Joseph missed 8 days in the Fall semester and 7 days in the Spring semester due to illness, for a total of 15 days in the 2011-2012 school year. As this falls well within the guidelines set out in District 100's Excused Illness Policy, there is no reason to detail his personal medical history.

If you feel the need to add more, you could write (as mentioned upthread), "Joe was absent on the following dates because he was ill enough to be kept home per the illness and attendance policy" (or whatever they call it in your district).

. This is what I would do. I don't keep a detailed record of my kids' absences, and this is an unreasonable request if you have already sent in excuse notes. I understand the schools are big on attendance because they can lose $ from the government, but if I decide my kid should stay home, and it falls within the attendance guidelines, it's none of their business.

 

[EPCOTatNight]

I just don't understand what the big deal is. If my son is just sick as the OP says and does not have an illness that would bring him undo scrutiny from schoolmates, then why not just tell them the symptoms. one poster spoke about an attorney. just because you don't want to say that your child had a cough? Sometimes, I think that people want to fight just to fight.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I was told by the principal that they have to provide documentation for the state - I take it the State Dept of Education - when there are over a certain number of "unexcused" absences. In our case, even though I'd sent in Mommy notes they apparently needed actual doctor's notes. My son had a concussion as well as prolonged bronchitis/pneumonia in the fall so I was able to collaborate with the pediatrician's office to get all of the dates he was absent for those covered as we had been in at least weekly, sometimes more, for five or six weeks. The school knew full well what was going on with him as I'd explained it fully in my notes (as there were implications for him at school) but the medical note just had dates and something generic like he was seen on those dates, etc. (And my take on it was that the school wasn't "upset" with us or anything, they were just under the gun to provide documentation to another agency themselves.) I'd never run into this before even though another year there were hospitalizations, but that year I'd sent in notes from the hospital so it wasn't an issue. In retrospect I feel a little silly not realizing this was going to be an issue, and I could have easily gotten the notes while I was there (note to self: do in the future), but I didn't know it was going to be so involved, lol. HTH.

 

[3boymthr]

Admittedly, I don't know a lot about HIPAA, but I don't know how giving the information is a violation of that law. I thought this had to do with healthcare providers having access to your health records and then not protecting that information. I didn't think that HIPAA applied to the relationship between the school and the parent. Now, really, I'm just asking since I don't understand the law but was hoping you could explain how it is a violation.

Actually, HIPAA has provisions for ANYONE accessing your health information. They must provide a HIPAA notification and any information they requested must be accessed in a secure area. The secure area includes with security locks on both the doors of the building and on the room where the information will be read. Then it must be stored in a file with locks. Further there are security protocols for the information being stored on "secured" servers. It cannot be stored on a server where any other type of information is going to be stored. All employees who have access to this information must be trained in proper HIPAA procedures and the school must be able to provide proof that all these employees have had this training. In addition, they must be able to prove that the use of this information is solely related to bettering his health. If not then the information can only be collected in aggregate and may not be tied to any one individual in any way shape or form.

ETA - In other words they can ask you to confirm that he was ill on all these dates, but they cannot ask you what the illness was nor what any of the symptoms were because the information would not be used for HIS benefit but rather for his detriment.

 

[NaLisa]

I think the "why" is pretty understandable. The emerging consensus nowadays is that, when it comes to issues surrounding schooling, the opinions/decisions of the parents should reign supreme. Queries such as the one in this thread are seen as a potential affronts to that self-perceived authority.

Just seems sad to me that for many it's such a combative relationship b/w parents and school. I should probably just count my blessings that we have such a great neighborhood school where it feels like staff and families (not all, but definitely most) are part of one big team with the same goals. We also try to understand the difficulties associated with the other's job (too-busy families with both parents working, complying with NCLB guidelines, etc.). We've all got difficult jobs to do, and it makes it that much harder if we're working against rather than with one another.

 

[DopeyDame]

Like a few others have said, my response would be short and sweet:
"Johnny was absent on X, Y, and Z dates because he was too ill to attend school those days."

If they follow up with another request, I'd probably just ignore it. It's May. If they get all testy and call CPS, fine. Let them call. From the sounds of it there's no reason for you to be concerned about their finding you neglect your kids or anything.

I will agree with other posters, though, that I'd probably go to the doctor for my own peace of mind by this point, just to make sure there's nothing more serious going on. I'd also probably get pretty maniacal with him about hand washing and proper hygience - clearly he's a kid who picks up germs easily, so it's that much more important for him to try and avoid them.

 

[Christine]

I will agree with other posters, though, that I'd probably go to the doctor for my own peace of mind by this point, just to make sure there's nothing more serious going on. I'd also probably get pretty maniacal with him about hand washing and proper hygience - clearly he's a kid who picks up germs easily, so it's that much more important for him to try and avoid them.

Based on the OPs first post and excepting the fact that one of the illnesses was pneumonia, it sounds as if he's just getting a lot of colds and flu-like illnesses.

My son seems to get a lot of these but I don't consider him sickly. He definitely could do better with handwashing and, due to lots of allergies, he's always got his hands on face, nose, eyes, etc. He gets too many colds in my opinion. Sort of sounds like the OP's son. The difference is that, unless he has uncontrollable snot or coughing, I force him to go to school. As another poster stated--I look at what he's got and question as to whether I would be expected to be at work and would my coworkers come to work with such a thing. Not always the best guide. Anyway, most times it's "Get to school" unless there's a fever. If I let him stay home for everytime he had a sniffle, he MIGHT have this many absences.

It sort of sounds to me that the OP is not overly freaked out about his illnesses but, based on his history, is sort of "pampering" him when he gets a cold. We all have to use our own judgment on these things but I try not to do that so much because I don't want my kids to think that you can take off work or college or anything if you're not 100% feeling well.

 

[Coconut36]

Your son is sick a lot but...


The school is not allowed to ask that.

It's a violation of HIPAA.

Let them know that and that you'll be sending the letter to your attorney if they persist in this line of questioning.

HIPAA is for healthcare workers not the school. It means that if the school calls the Dr directly HIPAA means the Dr can not respond with personal health information. HIPAA does not mean they can not ask YOU about the health of your minor child.

For most schools, HIPAA will only be an issue when you communicate with a student's medical provider. While you are not regulated by HIPAA, almost all medical practitioners you deal with are covered by HIPAA. They can not disclose protected medical information without authorization except for treatment purposes, payment and operational purposes. Since "treatment purposes" is one of the exceptions, a practitioner may relay or clarify treatment orders to individuals involved in the treatment of that patient (e.g., school nurse) without obtaining authorization.

There are legal requirements the school is bound by regarding absences. Don't like it, don't send your child to public school who does the same thing for every single child. I get so weary of parents making every single thing a battle. If you as a parent make a choice for your child (removing them from school, "personal" days, keeping them home sick with no Dr visit..etc) then you as a parent need to own the consequences to your child and whatever comes with that choice..like needing to verify the reason for the absences for the truancy officers/office. If you aren't prepared to do that and want to fight about it then maybe you should think twice about your choices.

 

[Pigeon]

The details of my children's illnesses are none of the school's business. I would, as a pp suggested, quote their own policies and leave it at that.

I don't think the OP's child's absences are all that excessive. I've got one kid who was prone to strep in elementary school. She'd get it at the drop of a hat, we'd take her to the doc immediately, but it would be a couple of days before she was OK to go to school (per the school policy). The pediatrician was not concerned at all, and said some kids are just like that. Couple that with a few of the normal viruses and colds that go around in the winter, and it adds up.

I have to laugh reading these threads about how in the adult real world you can't stay home from work unless you are on your death bed. Balance this sentiment with the many threads demonizing co-workers for coming in with a case of the sniffles, and you're damned either way.

 

[LaurenT]

Eh...
I wouldn't make too big a deal out of it.
I bet they're just trying to keep kids in school and think that asking for symptoms will keep parents from taking their kids out for unwarranted stuff.
Don't take it personally - if you know that you had reason to keep him home, you're not one of the parents they're after. Just make up symptoms or tell them that they can't ask you for symptoms 8 months later and expect you to remember...

 

[ols386]

OP, my question would be why is the school going all the way back to August 22 in asking about your son's illnesses? Why would they not have asked long before now?

 

[CPT Tripss]

snip

There are legal requirements the school is bound by regarding absences. Don't like it, don't send your child to public school who does the same thing for every single child. I get so weary of parents making every single thing a battle. If you as a parent make a choice for your child (removing them from school, "personal" days, keeping them home sick with no Dr visit..etc) then you as a parent need to own the consequences to your child and whatever comes with that choice..like needing to verify the reason for the absences for the truancy officers/office. If you aren't prepared to do that and want to fight about it then maybe you should think twice about your choices.

And one would expect that these legal requirements would be contained in the absence policy communicated to parents in the beginning of the school year. One would also expect the school administration to send a written communication to the parents the very first time a kid was absent and the notification provided by the parents was inadequate - not wait until the end of the school year.

OP, my question would be why is the school going all the way back to August 22 in asking about your son's illnesses? Why would they not have asked long before now?

My question too.

 

[kirstenb1]

Based on the OPs first post and excepting the fact that one of the illnesses was pneumonia, it sounds as if he's just getting a lot of colds and flu-like illnesses.

My son seems to get a lot of these but I don't consider him sickly. He definitely could do better with handwashing and, due to lots of allergies, he's always got his hands on face, nose, eyes, etc. He gets too many colds in my opinion. Sort of sounds like the OP's son. The difference is that, unless he has uncontrollable snot or coughing, I force him to go to school. As another poster stated--I look at what he's got and question as to whether I would be expected to be at work and would my coworkers come to work with such a thing. Not always the best guide. Anyway, most times it's "Get to school" unless there's a fever. If I let him stay home for everytime he had a sniffle, he MIGHT have this many absences.

It sort of sounds to me that the OP is not overly freaked out about his illnesses but, based on his history, is sort of "pampering" him when he gets a cold. We all have to use our own judgment on these things but I try not to do that so much because I don't want my kids to think that you can take off work or college or anything if you're not 100% feeling well.

 

[Coconut36]

And one would expect that these legal requirements would be contained in the absence policy communicated to parents in the beginning of the school year. One would also expect the school administration to send a written communication to the parents the very first time a kid was absent and the notification provided by the parents was inadequate - not wait until the end of the school year.



My question too.

Send communication the first time? That is overkill and silly. It's your job as a parent to keep track of the policy and to be aware of where your child's absences fall in it. Parents would throw still throw hissy fits if they were "reminded" of the policy whenever their kid is absent. Damned either way..wait until they incur a bunch and you waited too long, notify parents at each absence and your are "bothering" them or overstepping..etc.

They did communicate it. The OP she indicates that she is well aware of the set number of days a kid is allowed to miss per semester. She said it is 10 per semester. Her kid missed almost the limit the first semester (8) and is approaching the limit (7) this semester. Meaning they are likely trying to head off issues or address them NOW vs waiting until the child exceeds the number of days. I think that is more reasonable then sending notes home at the first sick day and subsequent sick days. It is likely the combo of 15 days triggered a red flag in the truancy system and the school is taking steps to address it before it ends up being 20 or more days.

I don't view this as them suddenly waiting until the end of the year but rather as they approach the end of the year the child is incurring additional absences that are concerning to them so they are stepping up to check into it so the year doesn't end with the kid missing excessive days of school.