How much do you spend per person on Christmas?

[jgreco]

I had made the suggestion last year to pull names for gift-giving with DH family and they thought it was preposterous. We've in the past spent about $100 per person, but this year we've retired and while we are good financially, we are on a fixed income and still have our own 3 kids to buy gifts for. DSIL told me she, her husband and 2 kids would all like Gift cards to various stores so I'll need to decide on an amount.

I honestly wish they didn't buy us anything, they are not in the best financial condition either. Christmas is going to be so tacky with trading just envelopes of gift cards, I mean what is the point? DH already told her we're going to be keeping it under $50 each.

Any ideas?

 

[jaminmd]

I had made the suggestion last year to pull names for gift-giving with DH family and they thought it was preposterous. We've in the past spent about $100 per person, but this year we've retired and while we are good financially, we are on a fixed income and still have our own 3 kids to buy gifts for. DSIL told me she, her husband and 2 kids would all like Gift cards to various stores so I'll need to decide on an amount.

I honestly wish they didn't buy us anything, they are not in the best financial condition either. Christmas is going to be so tacky with trading just envelopes of gift cards, I mean what is the point? DH already told her we're going to be keeping it under $50 each.

Any ideas?

I mean this with all due respect, no snark. Why do you have to continue to exchange gifts with them? Just tell them you're not going to participate in a gift exchange this year. It is so much easier now that I only buy for my own child and send gifts to our parents. We enjoy the holiday much better this way.

 

[pigletto]

I don't mind the occasional gift card, but I agree, when Christmas just becomes trading even amounts of gift cards why doesn't everyone just keep their own money and call it a day?

My siblings and I do a name draw at Thanksgiving. The limit thus far has been 50 and we all find that to be adequate. For example my sister collects cookbooks (she has nearly 100 I am sure). I found some really neat ones on Amazon for a steal and also got her an Alice in Wonderland ornament for her tree.

Dh's family is a little harder. Generally we spend 100-150 per parent, and maybe 200 total on SIL, BIL and nephew. So with three of us drawing names for my siblings, both sets of parents, and SIL et al we are looking around 800. Yeah, that just made me throw up in my mouth a little.

 

[jgreco]

I mean this with all due respect, no snark. Why do you have to continue to exchange gifts with them? Just tell them you're not going to participate in a gift exchange this year. It is so much easier now that I only buy for my own child and send gifts to our parents. We enjoy the holiday much better this way.

I tried that (by suggesting picking names), everyone got irritated and said they wanted to continue trading the gifts.

 

[sissy_ib]

I tried that (by suggesting picking names), everyone got irritated and said they wanted to continue trading the gifts.

Then I would buy gifts. Gift cards are not a "gift" IMO. If they don't like it tell them too bad, you wanted to exchange gifts, here is your gift. Maybe it is because my family did not celebrate Christmas when I was a kid, but I don't understand going all out for everyone you happen to share a drop of DNA with. I think people should only give gifts because they want to, not because they feel they have to. It sounds like this family still thinks they have too.

As for your question on how much, DH spent about $60 each on his brother and future SIL. (Too much if you ask me but that is his thing)
Not sure how much we will spend on his parents, probably close to the same each.

 

[jmac323]

I would have to agree with some of the earlier posts. We were doing a name exchange with cousins we don't even really see much and it came down to I would buy what was on their list. It seemed totally not in the Christmas spirit. Now we buy for all kids under 18, and last year we did a white elephant that was pretty fun.

 

[wannagoback]

Since it sounds like you're going to do the "gifts" what about a family gift certificate or an experience gift? Perhaps tickets for a trip to the zoo or something. This would allow you to personalize the gift more than a gift certificate to the store.

 

[jgreco]

Thanks for the ideas, I am going to suggest the White Elephant gifts with a $25 max. Seems a lot more fun than trading cards and should generate some laughs.

 

[Maria1985]

I don't mind the occasional gift card, but I agree, when Christmas just becomes trading even amounts of gift cards why doesn't everyone just keep their own money and call it a day?

My siblings and I do a name draw at Thanksgiving. The limit thus far has been 50 and we all find that to be adequate. For example my sister collects cookbooks (she has nearly 100 I am sure). I found some really neat ones on Amazon for a steal and also got her an Alice in Wonderland ornament for her tree.

Dh's family is a little harder. Generally we spend 100-150 per parent, and maybe 200 total on SIL, BIL and nephew. So with three of us drawing names for my siblings, both sets of parents, and SIL et al we are looking around 800. Yeah, that just made me throw up in my mouth a little.

I’m with you.

 

[codimouse]

We only get gifts for kids. It was too costly to buy for all adults. We adults who have the kiddos act as Santa for our own kids. In my family Santa gets each kid 5 gifts off of their list.
Then we get nieces, nephews gifts.

Sandi; sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[oscarkat]

We're terrible, and now that we're down to one income so I can stay home with the kids I've really got to get better.

Hubs and I don't get each other anything. We don't need anything, and we're happier spoiling the kids.

We probably spent between 1500 and 2000 on the kids (total).

Other family ranges from $50 to $100 per person. It's a huge family, and we struggle every year. We've tried asked people to only buy for kids, but then Christmas comes and they've all bought for us and we end up feeling horrible.

 

[DawnM]

Doesn't sound like this crowd would be up for that.

Thanks for the ideas, I am going to suggest the White Elephant gifts with a $25 max. Seems a lot more fun than trading cards and should generate some laughs.

 

[chuckabone]

We get for our younger nephews and one niece, for adults we all trade scratch off lottery tickets usually 5 or 10 bucks. It's fun when someone wins some cash.

 

[jgreco]

Doesn't sound like this crowd would be up for that.

Nope they're not. I even suggested just buying for kids only. It was shot down. Oh well.

Where's the best deal on gift cards? I just signed up for a redcard to save 5%. Every little bit will help.

 

[Lansgm]

Doesn't sound like your family would be up for this, but this is what my extended family does. There are about 50 of us and we use to exchange names, now just the kids under 15 exchange names. The adults use to each bring a wrapped gift and we would draw numbers. Number 1 would pick a gift, open it, and show everyone. Number 2 then had the option to pick a gift or "steal" what person number one had opened. We had a limit of 3 steals per gift and it got pretty intense some years when people would work together to figure out how they could make the "steals" work in their favor.

Now, we all make a gift...wreath, food, etc. and we "auction" it off. People can start the bid at whatever they want and we keep going. At the end, all of the money collected from the auction is donated to a charity of the family's choice. We usually have over $500 dollars to donate, but it isn't as bad because we are all donating a little and we know it is going to a good cause. We can also usually get the grandmas to "bid" more on the things their grandchild made by upping their bid!

Just a few ideas for anyone else that may be looking for a new tradition instead of trading gifts!

 

[tasha99]

My family does a gift exchange with a $15-20 limit. People choose to participate individually, as a family, or not at all (we opted out this year). I am giving $100 to each of my kids, and spending about $50 on my parents as a couple, though their gift will be "homemade," so that's just the materials. I will bring fish I caught down as gifts for my parents and brother, as well, and I might pick up some local smoked salmon and locally made vodka. I'm not much for gifts, so having this simple plan has taken a lot of the stress out of the holidays.

 

[jgreco]

Now, we all make a gift...wreath, food, etc. and we "auction" it off. People can start the bid at whatever they want and we keep going. At the end, all of the money collected from the auction is donated to a charity of the family's choice. We usually have over $500 dollars to donate, but it isn't as bad because we are all donating a little and we know it is going to a good cause. We can also usually get the grandmas to "bid" more on the things their grandchild made by upping their bid!

Just a few ideas for anyone else that may be looking for a new tradition instead of trading gifts!

I love that idea. Too bad it's not going to work with DH side of the family.

 

[A&M's Mommy]

OP, I am going to suggest that you change your approach with DH's family. Don't ask their permission to not exchange gifts. TELL them (nicely, of course) that you regretfully won't be participating in the gift exchange this year. And as a result, you ask that they don't purchase gifts for you, either. That's it.

No one can force you to buy gifts! Reading these types of threads always baffles me. We buy only for those who we want to buy for. And the list is very small. I find those who have a mile long list of distant relatives to buy for are usually the ones who don't enjoy the holiday much. It becomes a chore, not fun.

 

[Evi]

You've retired and as such have the right to change the game. Tell the inlaws Christmas gifts are for children. We believe as adults its best to concentrate on the little ones and as adults we can have a get together without need for exchanging gifts. If the don't get it still. Use the same amount that they expect in a gift card to make a donation in their name. I can recommend a few great organizations. Heffer international is one we donate to regularly. After they receive that gift they will get the message. You have worked your entire lives and have the right to decide how and when you spend your money. Don't let family bully you into something you no longer want to do.

 

[gardengalB4]

MY MIL made the decision that we would all draw names-each person would spend $30-35 or under.She talked it over w/the other participating relatives-then told us that's the way it is.
To me it really sucked the fun out of gift-giving & I cringe everytime she gloats that she only has to spend $30 on one person for Christmas.
Perhaps I can talk DH into opting out next year-