How much do you spend per person on Christmas?

[angierae]

I'm with everyone who says just announce you aren't participating. If people still buy you gifts, accept that they found joy in buying you something and accept it graciously.

 

[jaminmd]

I tried that (by suggesting picking names), everyone got irritated and said they wanted to continue trading the gifts.

How about letting them trade amongst themselves then? They can't force you to do it. If they get upset, it's their problem and a little childish on their part, IMO.

 

[Jenny3]

How about letting them trade amongst themselves then? They can't force you to do it. If they get upset, it's their problem and a little childish on their part, IMO.

I agree. They can't force you to participate. I would just send out an email to all the family members that are involved in the exchange and tell them it's just too tight financially this year for you to buy gifts for everyone.

 

[amylevan]

On my side, we spend $75 each on my parents, brother and SIL (sometimes a little more on my parents since they spoil my kids like crazy). My kids are the only kids.

On DH's side, we only buy for the kids and his dad. DH and his siblings decided to stop exchanging once everyone had kids. His mom is no longer with us and I only spend $25 max on his dad since we only see him once a year and DH isn't really on the best terms with. It's a token gift (usually something from the kids like a photo calender...).

 

[scrapquitler]

We spend about $500 each on our kids, and probably $500 total on DH and myself (thought we buy things for ourselves that we would have bought anyway)

On my side of the family, we buy only for the 'children' (those still in high school and younger) There are 3 children in that category, two of which are mine, so I buy only for my 10yo niece. I usually spend $25-$30 on her. Then EVERYONE in the family participates in our grab bag. We do the pull the number thing and pick a gift based on our number, then trade with the already opened gifts. Since there are 4 of us, I need to buy four gifts for the grab bag...price limit is no more than $15 or so (I have 3 gifts for that so far, one cost $1, one was $12 and one was $16, need one more).

On DH side of the family, MIL is unhappy with the idea of 'not' exchanging gifts even though she is never happy about the gifts she gets, nor is she creative about the gifts she buys (adults get gift cards, kids get something about $40, usually clothes). We buy a gift for MIL, one for FIL and one for BIL, spend about $25-$30 each... MIL gets a gift card (she returns anything else), FIL and BIL get some sort of gadgety tool. I usually get her a picture or a photo book as well.

I don't do gifts outside the family except the dance teachers (4 @ $5 gift card for Dunkin Donuts each) and the mailman (again $5 Dunkin Donuts).

So outside of our immediate family, maybe $200 total.

 

[4HppyCamprs]

I had made the suggestion last year to pull names for gift-giving with DH family and they thought it was preposterous. We've in the past spent about $100 per person, but this year we've retired and while we are good financially, we are on a fixed income and still have our own 3 kids to buy gifts for. DSIL told me she, her husband and 2 kids would all like Gift cards to various stores so I'll need to decide on an amount.

I honestly wish they didn't buy us anything, they are not in the best financial condition either. Christmas is going to be so tacky with trading just envelopes of gift cards, I mean what is the point? DH already told her we're going to be keeping it under $50 each.

Any ideas?

We bowed out of the holiday gift exchange for the cousins this year because that is exactly what it has become gift card exchanges or my least favorite, here is my list and go buy it. I would rather they just shop for themselves and we shop for ourselves and get together for food and games. The grandparents buy for everybody but again it is a "give me the list and I will buy from it" I think it just shows that they have no idea what the kids want or need because for 364 days of the year we don't exist but on Christmas it is all about exchanging gifts to show "love".

Okay rant over.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[4GoofyCrew]

DH and I spend about $100 on each other and we spend about that on each of the kids too.

We only have one niece so we spend about $25. We probably spend about that on each of our parents also.

That's it. We don't exchange gifts with siblings. We used to but it became 'gift card for gift card' and we decided that was just more work and a waste of money for everyone. I really don't miss it.

So all totaled we drop about $500 total on Christmas.

 

[4GoofyCrew]

OP, I am going to suggest that you change your approach with DH's family. Don't ask their permission to not exchange gifts. TELL them (nicely, of course) that you regretfully won't be participating in the gift exchange this year. And as a result, you ask that they don't purchase gifts for you, either. That's it.

I agree. Your financial status has changed - you retired - so it is perfectly acceptable for you to decline. It doesn't mean others still can't exchange, it is just that you chose not to and that you are OK with that decision.

 

[HM]

OP, you asked for the amount we use in gift giving.

For exchanges with my siblings (we pick names) we spend up to $40. For the nieces and nephews, my limit is about $20 each. For my husbands side of the family, we spend up to $30 (we also pick names). For my own family's presents, there is no set amount. For my parents and my DH's parents we spend about $100 for the couple ($50 ea).

 

[angierae]

As for our family, this is what we spend for Christmas:

DD17: $250
The husband and I spend $100 each on each other, plus this year we're buying a bigger TV for the bedroom because he has to watch a lot of sports for work (he's a sportswriter) and I could use a bigger tv for when I want to watch something when he is using the big tv)
About $100 on my MIL
Between $25-50 on my stepdad (he has everything he wants. Buying for him is nearly impossible)
We'll each spend about $20 on the pull-a-number gift exchange at my family party.
We have one under-18 to buy for at my family party, about $25
Brittany and her cousins trade names (this is at my sibling's party, which is different from the other one) and there's a $30 limit there

And that's it, really. And at $675, still seems like a ridiculous amount, even though we can afford it.

(I didn't count the TV, because I think we'd have bought that anyway, but are considering it a "christmas gift")

 

[MomToOne]

I spend about $50 each on my two nephews, about the same on my Mom. My siblings and I decided to start doing a gag-gift exchange last year (after years of drawing names), which was a BLAST. This year, I've spent about $30 total so far on my gag for my 4 siblings + 2 significant others. I may add some more to it if I have time, but then again I might not.

While this is what I spend, my sisters and brothers all spend whatever they are comfortable with. We don't have a paranoia about "what I gave your kids has to cost about the same as what you gave mine", etc. And even though I may spend less on presents than some of them, I also have the expense of plane tickets and a rental car to just get there that most of them don't have.......

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

we don't set limits, per se, and there aren't enough of us to draw names. I buy for my nephews, their mother buys for my kids, we buy one gift for one another, something small for the folks who have everything, and grandparents buy lots for the grandchildren. Sometimes we divide the kids' lists and assign different items. just depends. I can't even begin to tell you what I spent last year, or years prior. It varies with the lists. Oh, and I have to coordinate the kids' lists with the ex, too, so we aren't buying duplicates.

 

[snoopy5386]

.

 

[Jenny3]

To answer the OP's question (sorry! Had given my .02 before)

We spend about $350 per kid, give or take (I usually spend less on DS3 then I do on DD17), about $200 each for DH and I.

I have 11 nieces/nephews - I spend about $40 on the ones on my side (4 kids) and $40 each on the other 7, but we do an exchange so just 3 gifts there.

We do another gift exchange with my siblings/parents. Spend about $50 each (2 gifts)

About $50 each on FIL and step-MIL and $60 on MIL. We don't buy for any of DH's siblings/spouses as there are just too many of them (9 in all)

Another cousin gift exchange with DH's extended family, $30 each there (3 gifts)

A White Elephant fun exchange with my extended family, $20 each (2 gifts).

Teacher gifts, about $10-20 each (4 gifts). We also spend about $25 on a needy family through my work. I also chip in $10 for the two administrative assistants my office.

 

[Mommy2LittleVols]

OP - Good luck with your situation! You've gotten lots of advice here; I hope it helps you decide what to do.

As for what we spend, DH and I spend between $100-$200 on each other. We rarely spend much money on each other (or ourselves) throughout the year except at holidays, so we splurge a bit then. We spend around $200 on each of our 2 kids.

For DH's family - we spend around $50 each on MIL and FIL, $100 total on DSIL's and their spouses, and around $200 on DNiece and DNephews. We also have a huge Christmas Eve party at the IL's house with extended family and everyone buys gifts for the kids. We usually spend $30-$50 depending on the year, as it varies which kids will be attending.

My family - we usually spend around $50 total on my parents and around $50 total on DSis and her family.

ETA we also spend around $20 on teacher gifts (x 3 this year - main teacher and 2 part-time aides).

 

[sk!mom]

I had made the suggestion last year to pull names for gift-giving with DH family and they thought it was preposterous. We've in the past spent about $100 per person, but this year we've retired and while we are good financially, we are on a fixed income and still have our own 3 kids to buy gifts for. DSIL told me she, her husband and 2 kids would all like Gift cards to various stores so I'll need to decide on an amount.

I honestly wish they didn't buy us anything, they are not in the best financial condition either. Christmas is going to be so tacky with trading just envelopes of gift cards, I mean what is the point? DH already told her we're going to be keeping it under $50 each.

Any ideas?

After trying what you did for a few years, I finally just said, "We will not be exchanging gifts this year with adults." Apparently, several others really did want to get out of the exchanging because when it was put this way, they followed suit. In the end, only one sister really wanted to continue exchanging but she begrudgingly gave in. After a couple of years of that, we started a "cousins draw" for all the kids under 18. I love my family and love getting together but we have a large family and exchanging gifts had added so much stress to my favorite time of the year. It was too many gifts to buy and had kind of just turned into exchanging gift cards which seemed pointless. The new way is much more fun.

A few years ago, we started a "Dirty Santa" type exchange. Sometimes there is a theme other times not. Last year, we did a group ski trip during the holidays so the theme was funny ski hats. This year it is "As Seen on TV."

 

[disykat]

We spend $200 on each of our two kids. We spend between 0 and $25 on each other. We spend between 15 and 40 on each adult on our list and 15 - 25 on each kid on our list. I would like to cut our list to our parents only, but my sister and dh's sister (and her kids) still insist on exchanging gifts. Our budget for Christmas gifts has been $650 for the last several years.

 

[phred52]

We draw names then each person within DH's family exchanges only ONE gift. ONE. That's including all siblings/spouses/kids. One. gift. And THIS year, there was a stink about the amount, when the dust settled, it was announced we can spend max $15. (down from $25) sigh. We suggested perhaps to give to a charity instead but that got shot down.

So we participate in that exchange but then in addition I add gifts for the "kids". I feel for the 5, 8 & 10 year olds, sitting and sitting and sitting with just one gift under the tree.

As for our immediate family, I don't keep track of $$ exactly. I make sure each has 10 presents under the tree. Now it might be one BIG item and a pair of socks, can of pringles, bottle of shampoo, pack of pens .... but there will be 10 wrapped gifts.

 

[DebMcDonald]

We stopped exchanging with my brother's and brother's-in-law for the same reason, we were just exchanging gift cards back and forth. This year one of them made a suggestion that we go out to a really nice restaurant without kids and just enjoy adult conversation over great food and drinks and we all love the idea - just another thought.