How much do you spend on nieces/nephews for Christmas?

[msdis]

DH & I have no kids but there are plenty on both sides. We buy birthday gifts for everyone till 18 and send xmas gifts to everyone every year.

 

[mlwear]

O.k. so here's the one piece of information I have to throw out into the "aunt/uncle" universe. If you are staying overnight with one family, having just returned from a trip, do not pull out the gifts you have bought for your other sibling's children to show everyone, and have absolutely nothing for the sibling's child who lives in the house where you are staying! My dh's older sister came back from the UK, and stayed at our house overnight, since she didn't want to drive all the way home. We were happy to have her as a guest, until she proceeded to get out all the items she bought for my nieces and show my son. We had opened our home to her (not to mention providing airport shuttle service and garaging her car while she was away), and she didn't even have the presence of mind to bring my son anything at all. Seriously, his face would not have fell (being 4 and all), if she had picked up a pen at the airport! I respect her right to buy for whom she wants to when she wants to, but that was too much!

Off my soapbox -- the gist is, if you are blatantly treating them differently, and they are going to know about it, think about it...

Wow. How insensitive. Why in the world wouldn't she just keep the other gifts private? You are right little kids do understand stuff like that and often they don't forget.

I know I said I would be tempted to treat my siblings kids different from DH's side. I wouldn't even consider it if the other kids had a chance to find out. If my sis ever has kids the others will be (already are) over 18 except for possibly one who is now 13. Sis isn't even married yet, so who knows when it could be? Our families don't see each other at the holidays or really hardly ever. It has been 11 years since I've seen my SIL and family and over 3 since my BIL and family. My sis, on the other hand. although she doesn't spend Christmas with us, she lives only a few miles away and we see each other at least once a week and talk every day. She is the only one in my family who has always been there for us (she has even twice moved long distances to live near us so she can help with my kids who have special needs). As terrible as it sounds, if I am being very honest, I think it would be hard to treat her future children the same as the others. Yeah, I know I'll be flamed. But, I am not saying I will do it for sure, but it may be too hard to resist. But, no way would I even think about it if I thought it would hurt the other kids, I would just have to go overboard on them, too.

On another topic, those that have put an end to the gift giving either by just stopping it all together or switching to the charity donation idea, how did you do it? What did you say? SIL's family, the one who I haven't seen for 11 years, hasn't bought us a gift, sent a card and certainly not a thank you or acknowledgement of the gifts we send for probably 9 or 10 years. I don't know if she would even care if we stopped. BIL's family kids are 18 and 13 and I have no idea what to send them but money. I'd be willing to do just the family gift. How do you even bring up the topic?

 

[jckdisneybound]

We just buy for my niece and 2 nephews. DH has like a bijillion ok more like 50 and they don't know we exsist. So I usually spend $25 - $35 on birthdays and for Christmas. They are AWESOME at sending thank you notes, they are really sweet kids. I think they spend about the same for my DD.

 

[Boncho]

Somewhere in the 20.00 range and it is reciprocated.

Same here.

 

[kelleigh1]

I have no children so I spoil them "rotten"!!!! I usually spend between $150 and $200 each. I buy them things mom and dad won't!!! Amrican Girl, psp, etc.

Ditto!

We don't have any kids yet and for the longest time, my niece and nephew were the only kids in my life. They still play a predominant role. They are now 11 and almost 13. They don't reciprocate, but my sister and BIL take pretty good care of me because of everything I do for them. They flew my husband and I to Europe to spend 2 weeks with them last year. I'd say that was a good trade-off.

 

[georgina]

On another topic, those that have put an end to the gift giving either by just stopping it all together or switching to the charity donation idea, how did you do it? What did you say? SIL's family, the one who I haven't seen for 11 years, hasn't bought us a gift, sent a card and certainly not a thank you or acknowledgement of the gifts we send for probably 9 or 10 years. I don't know if she would even care if we stopped. BIL's family kids are 18 and 13 and I have no idea what to send them but money. I'd be willing to do just the family gift. How do you even bring up the topic?

When we first were married, I would have to try to send gifts to DH's brother and sister. It was very difficult, and the things his brother's wife sent us were so far from our taste, that I figured they hated the things we were sending them too. I sent them a note that I would like to contribute to a charity in their honor, and they agreed. With my sister, it was easier. We would always have to ask each other what to get for the kids, and they all have so much that we just agreed to stop. Lately some of my sisters have gone back to family gifts (CD's, specialty teas, candy, etc) so we may have to get a few again, but not individual gifts for the kids. I would just tell them - you're changing your gift giving starting this holiday season!

 

[MEM]

We spend nothing on them. When they were little, my sibs and I drew names on our children's behalf to buy for one of the six nieces and nephews (my 2 children were part of the pool). As they got older, it was clear they did not need anything and carefully shopped-for gifts were either returned, never used or worn or ended up as a hand-me-down. My sibs and I (and our spouses) mutually agreed to stop the gift-giving. This system is easier since I live 600 miles away from my 3 siblings and their children, that is, I do not see them at Christmas-time.