How much do you help with Elementary School Homework?

[LuvOrlando]

So that they can see where the child needs help. If they keep coming in with perfect homework the teacher may not even realize that the child is struggling.

What on earth is that teacher doing with all those hours in the classroom then?

 

[msjprincess]

What on earth is that teacher doing with all those hours in the classroom then?

eating bonbons and filing her nails?

 

[LuvOrlando]

eating bonbons and filing her nails?

No need for sarcasm.

She/he has my kid for about 25 hours of class-time a week. If that individual is incapable of processing what my child is or isn't capable of doing with that volume of time week after week my kid is absolutely better off with my one hour a night.

 

[Magpie]

I think there's a difference between "helping" and "teaching" and "doing it for them".

"Helping" means being there to quiz them on their spelling words or French vocabulary or giving them extra practice problems in math and then checking to see if they got them right. "Helping" also means buying project supplies. When you help, the kid is doing the majority of the work. You're just giving them the support they need to get it done. The goal here is NOT perfection. But if there's a real problem, then you need to move from "helping" to "teaching".

"Teaching" is what you do when the kid isn't getting the instruction they need in school. Say, for instance, they've just introduced Long Division and your child has brought home a zero on the quiz. That's when you sit down with your child for a few minutes every night, and teach them until they finally understand Long Division. Teaching is my job as a parent. Even though I've chosen to delegate most of the job to the school system, that doesn't mean I've given up the right and responsibility to teach them myself.

And "doing it for them"... Well, that's just never a good idea. Kids don't learn anything when you do the work for them. Unfortunately, some parents get confused and mix up "doing it for them" with "helping". Here's a clue - if your child is staring blankly off into space while you're writing/gluing/calculating, then you're not helping.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I ask if they have homework to make sure they don't forget. My 4th grader has homework about once a week, usually Math. My 1st grader doesn't usually have anything except spelling words unless he has missed part of the day for an apointment or something. If either of them has work they don't understand, I explain it to them (as best I can) and then I check it when they're done to make sure they "got it". I don't give them the answers, though.

I quiz them on spelling words the night before their tests. My 4th grader gets a calendar each week from his teacher and knows when his tests are. If he wants help studying for them (asking questions from worksheets, etc), DH or I do that. Other than that, he knows he needs to have the book and be studying. 1st grader doesn't get tests to study for other than spelling.

 

[lovetoscrap]

I think there's a difference between "helping" and "teaching" and "doing it for them".

"Helping" means being there to quiz them on their spelling words or French vocabulary or giving them extra practice problems in math and then checking to see if they got them right. "Helping" also means buying project supplies. When you help, the kid is doing the majority of the work. You're just giving them the support they need to get it done. The goal here is NOT perfection. But if there's a real problem, then you need to move from "helping" to "teaching".

"Teaching" is what you do when the kid isn't getting the instruction they need in school. Say, for instance, they've just introduced Long Division and your child has brought home a zero on the quiz. That's when you sit down with your child for a few minutes every night, and teach them until they finally understand Long Division. Teaching is my job as a parent. Even though I've chosen to delegate most of the job to the school system, that doesn't mean I've given up the right and responsibility to teach them myself.

I agree with your definitions, but how much "teaching" at home is reasonable to expect? Is is reasonable to have to reteach just about everything being done in the classroom?


My 5th grade daughter struggles so we help her a lot-- often reteaching much of what is done in school when she is doing homework and studying for tests, sometimes 2-3 hours a night (and have been for 2 years now). Because of this she gets pretty good grades. I have asked now 2x for the school to do an evaluation for LD but they won't because her grades are fine. We actually have a dx from a private evaluation we had done but they aren't accepting that as showing she needs intervention.

The school has suggested that our "involvement" with her homework and studying is just what any great parent would do and is not abnormal. She has a great teacher so there are not problems with anything in general that the teacher is doing-and the teacher agrees that there are probably some issues going on. I feel like I am homeschooling again, except that I am having to do it after she has already spent 6 hours in school and is tired, frustrated and cranky.

So I have decided that we will only offer "normal" assistance with homework and let her grades truly reflect HER abilities to learn along with her peers, not how well she does with lots of outside assistance. I have no problems with teaching her if that is what she needs, and agree that as a parent her education is my responsibility. But if there are underlying issues that may be helped by some additional resources at school or by having a better understanding of how she learns so we can assist her better then I want the school to look into it. Basically the school has said that she has to fail before they will do anything. I have read the IDEA and ADA laws up one side and down the other and spent hours on wrightslaw.com but can't find anything to really compel them to do an evaluation at this point.

So I am getting an idea of what "normal" parental involvement should be and we will go with that and see how she does.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

I rarely have to help with homework. There are some days that DD-9 needs help with math and I'm challenged with that so I let DH help her.
Or some days she needs help with using a word in a sentence.

 

[hereyago]

I would go over spelling, vocabulary words with DD.

Now 4th grade, that is when I felt like I should have home schooled. she had 2 "core" subject teachers that lacked on many different levels. She hardly had any homework. They would have reading comprehension which really was audiotory because they would listen to the story because the teacher didn't have time to read it. So they would hear this story then later on in the week have a test on comprehension.

I ended up making up homework for her and having her bring the reading book home to go over the stories and her grades went up.

She is now in 7th grade. Her math teacher will give an automatic A for homework if it's done on time. even if it's wrong, because she doesn't feel they should be penalized for trying to understand the problem. 2 of her teachers have homework blogs and the other kids can help" guide" someone and if they still have a problem, the teacher will chime in.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree with your definitions, but how much "teaching" at home is reasonable to expect? Is is reasonable to have to reteach just about everything being done in the classroom?


My 5th grade daughter struggles so we help her a lot-- often reteaching much of what is done in school when she is doing homework and studying for tests, sometimes 2-3 hours a night (and have been for 2 years now). Because of this she gets pretty good grades. I have asked now 2x for the school to do an evaluation for LD but they won't because her grades are fine. We actually have a dx from a private evaluation we had done but they aren't accepting that as showing she needs intervention.

The school has suggested that our "involvement" with her homework and studying is just what any great parent would do and is not abnormal. She has a great teacher so there are not problems with anything in general that the teacher is doing-and the teacher agrees that there are probably some issues going on. I feel like I am homeschooling again, except that I am having to do it after she has already spent 6 hours in school and is tired, frustrated and cranky.

So I have decided that we will only offer "normal" assistance with homework and let her grades truly reflect HER abilities to learn along with her peers, not how well she does with lots of outside assistance. I have no problems with teaching her if that is what she needs, and agree that as a parent her education is my responsibility. But if there are underlying issues that may be helped by some additional resources at school or by having a better understanding of how she learns so we can assist her better then I want the school to look into it. Basically the school has said that she has to fail before they will do anything. I have read the IDEA and ADA laws up one side and down the other and spent hours on wrightslaw.com but can't find anything to really compel them to do an evaluation at this point.

So I am getting an idea of what "normal" parental involvement should be and we will go with that and see how she does.

So has your dd flunked homework, tests, etc? Why are you helping her for 2-3 hrs?

Is she slow, sitting there crying she does not understand it, or you feel you need to watch over every pencil stroke?

By 5th grade I only stepped in if my dd's were "in trouble".

Like my 8th grader. She is going to HS next yr and she needs to get her perfectionist, anxiety homework self under control. She has had counseling and has some very good strategies for keeping herself organized.

She has to be the one to do the job and not mom or dad.

Now I will help if she asks however she mainly gets help from the teachers, stays after, etc.

I will say I DO NOT miss elementary school in the least bit.

 

[bellebud]

Is is reasonable to have to reteach just about everything being done in the classroom?

no



We actually have a dx from a private evaluation we had done but they aren't accepting that as showing she needs intervention.

she's getting intervention from you




So I have decided that we will only offer "normal" assistance with homework and let her grades truly reflect HER abilities to learn along with her peers, not how well she does with lots of outside assistance.

At this point, besides hsing her again, it seems this is the only thing you can do



good luck!! I remember those days of trying to teach after I picked the kids up from school (more my ds... my dd was ok w/ doing her homework). We homeschool now and it's working much better for us.

 

[lovetoscrap]

So has your dd flunked homework, tests, etc? Why are you helping her for 2-3 hrs?

Is she slow, sitting there crying she does not understand it, or you feel you need to watch over every pencil stroke?

Yes she has flunked many tests, but they always have them do "corrections" with their books and then give them back most of the points so it is recorded as a B or C. Heaven forbid we actually put an F in the grade book She has failed at least 75% (probably more) of her spelling tests since 1st grade, but they combine that grade with Reading (which she is great at) and English so it just brings it down to a B.

She takes a long time to learn new things-- we have seen this pattern with her since she was a toddler. There is some sort of a processing issue that she just doesn't get everything, or if she does she can't then retrieve the information. When they teach a new math concept she usually doesn't get it. She gets frustrated and cries when doing the homework which is a review of what she is supposed to have learned in class. She doesn't understand much of the Social Studies and Science even though they work on them daily at school. She is in 5th grade and still can't remember what a noun and a verb are. I am actually very hands off when it comes to homework except when she is so confused and upset that we need to help. Today was a worksheet that reviews things she does understand so I haven't even looked at it . They are doing a project in class in SS so I am not sure what is going on with that, and they started a new unit in Science today. Friday she took the Unit Test and failed so they had her take it again and I think she got a C the 2nd time (it was on the computer).

As I said, I do think as a parent I have a responsibility to help "teach" if she misses something or needs a little extra help. But I think we have definitely crossed a line between "parental help with homework", and "parent reteaching everything", but the school thinks there isn't a problem with that.

 

[Magpie]

I agree with your definitions, but how much "teaching" at home is reasonable to expect? Is is reasonable to have to reteach just about everything being done in the classroom?


My 5th grade daughter struggles so we help her a lot-- often reteaching much of what is done in school when she is doing homework and studying for tests, sometimes 2-3 hours a night (and have been for 2 years now). Because of this she gets pretty good grades. I have asked now 2x for the school to do an evaluation for LD but they won't because her grades are fine. We actually have a dx from a private evaluation we had done but they aren't accepting that as showing she needs intervention.

The school has suggested that our "involvement" with her homework and studying is just what any great parent would do and is not abnormal. She has a great teacher so there are not problems with anything in general that the teacher is doing-and the teacher agrees that there are probably some issues going on. I feel like I am homeschooling again, except that I am having to do it after she has already spent 6 hours in school and is tired, frustrated and cranky.

So I have decided that we will only offer "normal" assistance with homework and let her grades truly reflect HER abilities to learn along with her peers, not how well she does with lots of outside assistance. I have no problems with teaching her if that is what she needs, and agree that as a parent her education is my responsibility. But if there are underlying issues that may be helped by some additional resources at school or by having a better understanding of how she learns so we can assist her better then I want the school to look into it. Basically the school has said that she has to fail before they will do anything. I have read the IDEA and ADA laws up one side and down the other and spent hours on wrightslaw.com but can't find anything to really compel them to do an evaluation at this point.

So I am getting an idea of what "normal" parental involvement should be and we will go with that and see how she does.

This is above and beyond what most folks have to do. It's not reasonable. However, it's what I have to do with my son in some subject areas. He has a diagnosed LD. My daughter was asked to memorize sixty verbs over the course of a week. She can do it with just a little help from me to quiz her. My son can't. So he'll be studying French with me all summer, just so he can have a hope of keeping up with Grade 9 French next year.

I guess the question is, what exactly do you expect the school to do? Give your kid a laptop? Modify the curriculum? Assign a scribe? Stick her in a congregated LD class? With budget cuts and all, there's a limit to what the school can and/or will provide. Once you've figured out exactly WHAT you want, then you have the choice of trying to fight for it (I know a lady who took her fight as far as the Human Rights Commission!), or going somewhere else where you can get what you want (ie private school or home school), or continuing what you're doing.

This is basically the raw deal parents of kids with LDs all-too-frequently get.

 

[brockash]

Trying to get an idea of what is "normal" for grades 3-5. For a child that is doing okay in school, with no learning/developmental issues:

How much do you help them if they ask for help with homework?

If they don't understand a new concept (like something new in math) how much effort do you put in at home to help them to learn it?

How much do you help/time do you spend studying for tests?

Huh, I guess I just always assumed that helping them with their homework, helping them understand concepts that they couldn't figure out and helping them study for their tests was part of my job as their parent. Honestly, I may get flack from reading these threads about this, but especially at elementary level...I personally think it's neglectful not to do these things. I personally think it's crazy just to sit back and do nothing, while your child isn't figuring stuff out/doesn't understand or doesn't study, because really how at elementary age level would a child even know how to study for a test, if you never spent time to show them how to?

Really, this is one of my pet peeves, as I see so many of my DS's elementary aged friends that have neglectful parents, and some of them can hardly even read (in 3rd grade.) They get horrible grades, and it's just sad. I personally don't think there's any reason that an elementary aged child without an extreme learning disability should ever have a report grade of anything lower than a C (and that's being generous.) A teacher can only do so much. If no one is helping a child at home with homework or holding them accountable and showing them how to study, how in the world will they figure it out on their own?

It's like leaving an elementary aged child to fend for themself when it comes to meal times. If I left it up to my 3rd grader, I'm sure he wouldn't have a healthy diet, just like grades. It's my job as a parent to show them how to take care of themself, just as it's mine to show them how to study/learn.

ETA: I check my DS's homework every night, and if he gets things wrong, we go over it until I feel he understands why the answer is what it is. We do spelling every night. If he has tests coming up, I usually make flashcards and we do those. When he brings home work from school that he gets less than an A on, we go over it. We may go over it a lot if it's something he completely just didn't understand.

 

[lovetoscrap]

:

I guess the question is, what exactly do you expect the school to do? Give your kid a laptop? Modify the curriculum? Assign a scribe? Stick her in a congregated LD class? With budget cuts and all, there's a limit to what the school can and/or will provide. Once you've figured out exactly WHAT you want, then you have the choice of trying to fight for it (I know a lady who took her fight as far as the Human Rights Commission!), or going somewhere else where you can get what you want (ie private school or home school), or continuing what you're doing.

This is basically the raw deal parents of kids with LDs all-too-frequently get.

This is the problem, I have no idea what she needs. I want them to do an evaluation and see what they think-- they are the experts.

I do know that I think she needs more written notes and instructional material to be able to refer back to.

 

[LuvOrlando]

OP, for what it's worth I think you are doing an amazing job. It would be better if you got expert help but with the funding cuts I keep hearing lots of parents struggling with this which makes me think that even if her grades fall she still might not get help

I know it's hard but what you are now doing might be the best she is going to get... Lucky kid

 

[palavra]

What on earth is that teacher doing with all those hours in the classroom then?

The teacher is teaching the concept. Then, there will often be some form of guided practice. Usually, the teacher can walk around the room and help out as the child practice the concept. Homework is for independent practice. The teacher needs to see the errors the child made on his or her own, without help, so that the concept can be retaught or more guided practice can be given.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes she has flunked many tests, but they always have them do "corrections" with their books and then give them back most of the points so it is recorded as a B or C. Heaven forbid we actually put an F in the grade book She has failed at least 75% (probably more) of her spelling tests since 1st grade, but they combine that grade with Reading (which she is great at) and English so it just brings it down to a B.

She takes a long time to learn new things-- we have seen this pattern with her since she was a toddler. There is some sort of a processing issue that she just doesn't get everything, or if she does she can't then retrieve the information. When they teach a new math concept she usually doesn't get it. She gets frustrated and cries when doing the homework which is a review of what she is supposed to have learned in class. She doesn't understand much of the Social Studies and Science even though they work on them daily at school. She is in 5th grade and still can't remember what a noun and a verb are. I am actually very hands off when it comes to homework except when she is so confused and upset that we need to help. Today was a worksheet that reviews things she does understand so I haven't even looked at it . They are doing a project in class in SS so I am not sure what is going on with that, and they started a new unit in Science today. Friday she took the Unit Test and failed so they had her take it again and I think she got a C the 2nd time (it was on the computer).

As I said, I do think as a parent I have a responsibility to help "teach" if she misses something or needs a little extra help. But I think we have definitely crossed a line between "parental help with homework", and "parent reteaching everything", but the school thinks there isn't a problem with that.

I am not sure what to tell you as I do not have experience with LDs.

What I can say is that you cannot apply what we do for our kids to your child.

I would get my kid outside help if the school will not do anything.

 

[LuvOrlando]

The teacher is teaching the concept. Then, there will often be some form of guided practice. Usually, the teacher can walk around the room and help out as the child practice the concept. Homework is for independent practice. The teacher needs to see the errors the child made on his or her own, without help, so that the concept can be retaught or more guided practice can be given.

No you misunderstand. My comment of what is the teacher doing is to be applied to the idea "what is he/she doing that they can't figure out in 25 hours a week that my kid has an issue." I simply do mot buy that a problem could exist that will ONLY be visible if I ignore my kids need for help during homework time. Why wouldn't the same issue show itself during all the reams of classwork the kids do? I do know the purpose of HW, I am doubtful that allowing my child to fail would have helped them in any useful way.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Thanks everyone. I am tired and frustrated and just trying to figure out what is the best thing to do for my daughter. I think I have the answer that I was looking for when I posted this thread and will go from there. I really do understand where the school is coming from but I also am watching my child suffer because of the things going on and that is my primary concern. I am going to talk to the psych that did the evaluation and see about additional testing and see what he recommends.

 

[palavra]

No you misunderstand. My comment of what is the teacher doing is to be applied to the idea "what is he/she doing that they can't figure out in 25 hours a week that my kid has an issue." I simply do mot buy that a problem could exist that will ONLY be visible if I ignore my kids need for help during homework time. Why wouldn't the same issue show itself during all the reams of classwork the kids do? I do know the purpose of HW, I am doubtful that allowing my child to fail would have helped them in any useful way.

The teacher can most assuredly figure out what concepts a child needs help on, but appreciates the "wrong" answers so he/she can see if the child is internalizing the concept. How would showing wrong answers allow your child to fail?