How much do you give for a wedding present these days?

[LizinSTL]

I agree that I should not judge, sorry if it felt that way. I live in the St. Louis area (suburbs). Here it is considered very "rude" to bring a gift to the wedding...it is always sent in advance and, at the weddings that I have attended, a gift table is typically NOT set out. And cash or check is just not done (at least in the circles in which I run).

Though I've been to weddings which have $1 dances in other areas of the country and state, they are definitely not the norm here and are considered "tacky" -- just as a cash bar is also tacky. I certainly understand the person from Louisiana remarking that if one wasn't done in Louisiana people would wonder why. In my family, my grandmother would say something about putting on airs!

It's amazing to me how many different wedding traditions we have across the US -- even when we are not considering religious differences. I still say though that if I was the bride and I was given a gift of cash, I'd wonder why the person didn't invest the time into selecting a gift...cash is easy and one size does fit all...but it's still considered "tacky" here...and for that, I'm very happy!

Hope that Bride and Groom at the wedding you are attending have a lovely day and I hope that the ceremony/reception is both beautiful and enjoyable.

How funny. I live in St. Louis and I've been married almost 13 years but have been to plenty of weddings since then. At every single wedding I've been to here there's been a gift table. Some people send the gift in advance (or just after) but there are still lots at the reception. And tons of cards w/ cash/checks inside. This includes weddings at a church hall, the Ritz in Clayton, WOW, the zoo or a banquet center. If I were invited to a wedding now, I'd either visit Macy's/ Dillard's/ Pottery Barn or whereever the couple is registered and send a gift (spending between $50-100 depending on our relationship with the couple). The rule of thumb in my family/social circle is you can give $$ if the couple is younger than you but if they are your age or older, a gift is more appropriate.

I don't care for dollar dances and skipped that at my wedding but I still had older relatives pressing cash in my palm all night long.

PS.... Mostaccioli was served at the Ritz but NOT at the banquet center

 

[arminnie]

I just came from a wedding earlier today. I gave the couple a $50 GC to Disney since they are going there on their honeymoon. I knew that they already own a house and everyone else was giving them Lowe's and Home Depot GC's as they requested to make repairs and improvements.

I went to a very casual second wedding in the spring of 2005. It was a crawfish boil. Cash would not have been acceptable here so I gave them two giftcards from Home Depot - two cards so they could each have one. Little did we know then that Katina would hit a few months later and Home Depot and Lowe's would become the most popular shopping places in town. Fortunately their home was okay, but most everyone with a home can always use something from HD or Lowe's.

 

[Princess Dot]

Just wanted to post since we went to a wedding over the weekend and ended up giving even more than usual since it was obvious to me that they spent quite a bit of money on the event.

I just wanted to clarify that when I think about "covering" the cost of my plate I dont' mean it literally. Most of the time I know that the parents of these kids are paying for most of the wedding, so it is not like I am actually paying the couple back for the wedding. I don't thinkyou should expect your guests to acutally "pay" for their dinner. I just think the gift should reflect the type of event that it being given. If there is shrimp and caviar and filet mignon, open bar, viennese table, live band, etc then to me I feel I should give a pretty substantial gift.

Now I am not going into debt for these things nor did I expect those guests that are on a limited income to break the bank for a gift. At my wedding there were some elderly guests that I know are not wealthy and I did not expect a large cash gift. I was just glad they were there. But in our family, the majority of people are doing quite well and are very generous when it comes to these things. So you do the same when you are invited to their events (weddings, communions, etc.) That is just how it is done around here.
It is very interesting to see how people in other parts of the country do things. You can learn a lot on these boards!!

 

[JoJo's Mom]

But is it customary for a guest to cover the cost of their head?

I have personally NEVER heard of this. I think is it rude to expect your guests to basiclly pay their own way.

 

[Goobergal99]

I have personally NEVER heard of this. I think is it rude to expect your guests to basiclly pay their own way.

again it's a regional thing... so it is no suprise that you never heard of it.

 

[emma'smom]

The first NYC wedding I attended, I showed up with a big, blue box from Tiffany's and folks looked at me like I had a ticking bomb! The bride was very gracious (realizing that I was from the midwest), but I felt like an idiot for bringing a gift rather than a card with a check. I've learned since then...and now that we live in the midwest again, I still can't bring myself to give less than we did in NYC...and that makes us pretty darn generous in the eyes of the midwestern brides!