How long do you wait to RSVP to a wedding?

[crz4mm2]

I usually RSVP right away if I know for sure we will be attending. If I am not sure, I wait, but that is the only time.

 

[jonestavern]

17 no shows is nothing anymore. My friend had a big wedding for her DS and between the no shows and other people who did not deem to respond they ended up paying for over 40 meals that did not get served/eaten.

Yep, & we had 5 who showed up without having RSVPed!
We still had over 90 guests & everything went fine. In fact we were shocked we had given such a super reception!

Always assume the RSVP date is there for a reason, most likely the caterer's head count, or for the church or hall where the wedding is to be held.
I used to do catering & bake & decorate wedding cakes--I've heard lots of stories

From personal experience, I would say if you don't want very young children attending, be specific, as in, "We'd love to have the kids but our budget just will not allow it".
My best friend had 2 families--not relatives-- bring their very rowdy children for a total of 5 uninvited guests ranging in age from 2 yo to 8 yo.
To head this off at the pass, I hired 2 ladies to serve as baby sitters--with activities--for our little guests.

Jean

 

[azgal81]

I usually RSVP right away so I don't forget later. I'm sure you'll get some right before the due date and probably even some that just show up without rsvping. As well as some that don't even bother rsvping because they can't come.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Honey I barely know what I'm doing next weekend, much less 4 weeks from now.

If I don't know what I am doing on x date that means I don't have plans. And if I don't have plans and it is a wedding I want to attend I make plans to go. It's that simple.

I am so sick of people waiting to make sure they don't have something better to do before committing to something x weeks in advance. That's why people send invitations in advance. So they can get as many people as possible free for that date.

And OP - stick to your guns. You don't have to justify your decisions to the Dis. I have immediate family I will not be inviting, but I will be inviting his wife and children. My reasons, my business. If they don't want to come without him then they will be missed but there is no way in hell I'll allow this person to come to my wedding. And if he was to appear I'd have him removed from the premises.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I try to respond within a day or so. I never know many engaged people at one time so the people who invite us are usually people we know well, not just sending an invitation just to let us know they are getting married. Know what I mean?

 

[annegal]

Honestly, aside from the fact that it's drama which she does seem to thrive on,.

This morning in Ann Landers (or one of those advice columns), the StepFather was warned to keep the Mother of the Groom in line. At the last family wedding when her EX was introduced as the Father at the reception ,the ex-wife yelled out "He's just the sperm donor"


So I see your point, I guess.

 

[cinmell]

I respond right away.

 

[disneynutt1225]

And OP - stick to your guns. You don't have to justify your decisions to the Dis. I have immediate family I will not be inviting, but I will be inviting his wife and children. My reasons, my business. If they don't want to come without him then they will be missed but there is no way in hell I'll allow this person to come to my wedding. And if he was to appear I'd have him removed from the premises.

Thanks for the support! I had DFi read this thread as well last night, and I asked him today if we were doing the right thing by not including his mother's boyfriend in the festivities. He firmly believes we are doing the right thing.

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

Ain't family fun?

My FIL tried the "I'm not coming if your mother is coming." Well to hell with that. We invited both and if one didn't want to come because of the other than that was their decision. Fortunately FIL's wife was the voice of reason and he attended.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Thanks for the support! I had DFi read this thread as well last night, and I asked him today if we were doing the right thing by not including his mother's boyfriend in the festivities. He firmly believes we are doing the right thing.

That's totally your business. No one should give you a hard time. This guy could be a drug addict the OP doesn't want around the kids at her wedding, for example. Like the other poster said, stick to your guns!

 

[bettyann29]

First of all Congrats!! I'm getting married in April and its fast approaching...

Personally I respond as soon as I get the invitation because I know that I would want my rsvp's back as quick as possible because that can hinder the planning process..

Im hoping for speedy RSVP's for my wedding..

 

[disneynutt1225]

First of all Congrats!! I'm getting married in April and its fast approaching...

Thanks! Congratulations to you as well!

 

[scrump]

We usually try and RSVP right away. I would just start calling your guests and asking whether they are coming or not. It would save some headaches for you and your planning.

Congratulations!!!!

 

[mickeyfan2]

We RSVP as soon as we get the invite. At that time I know if the date is open or if we will be unable to make it.

 

[ceiligh1]

We RSVP as soon as we can. As someone who learned the hard way and especially if you are paying for a dinner that is priced at by the plate, call everyone the week before the wedding just to make sure they are still going to come. You do not need to call personally just make sure that someone does bridesmaids and groomsmen for instance.

We had a table and a half not show on the day and that cost us about $600-$700 for the food. We did not need to tell the facility until the day before of the final count so if we had called we could have saved that money.

I am sure that not everyone knew that they could not come the week before but many did as I now know why they did not show.

Now if I RSVP and then cant go I always call to tell the family.

Congrats to you I hope your day is very special.

 

[hlbtimes2]

I usually try to respond quickly. Sometimes we arent sure if we can make it until closer to the date. We had a large number of people not RSVP for our wedding. When asked why they didnt they said "well, you knew I wouldnt miss it!". Uh, well, I would have been a little more sure if you had taken a minute to tell me!