How long do you wait to RSVP to a wedding?

[disneynutt1225]

Do you RSVP right away, or do you hang on to it and wait until the RSVP date is almost up? I've always been the type to RSVP immediately - in fact, I was the first one to respond to my best friend's wedding (which, since I was in the wedding, she was expecting a yes from me, LOL).

The reason I'm asking is because the RSVP date for our wedding is fast approaching (August 5th due date) and even my fiance's MOTHER hasn't responded if she's coming or not! We think she's holding out because she wants to bring her boyfriend (who is her 2nd fiance in 6 months) and we aren't allowing her to bring him. Our theory is that she thinks the longer she holds off, the more likely we are going to let him come. Um...how many times do we have to say no before you get the picture?!?? Sorry, that was a small vent, LOL.

Most of the people on my side of the family have already responded, with the exception of a handful. Mainly we're waiting to hear from DFi's family with the yes's or no's.

Do most people wait until the last minute to RSVP? Am I just crazy for thinking most people would already know at this point what their plans were for August?? Especially since we've been telling people for over a year that we're getting married on the 26th?! Thoughts? Comments?

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

We always RSVP as soon as we possibly can. Hope you have a wonderful wedding! (I know it's a month away, but...) LOL

 

[goodeats]

We got a big batch fairly quickly (i.e. the type A responders), then a big lull, then one or two would trickle in (people making sure they didn't have anything better to do), then at the end we got another big batch (the procrastinatos). You know, I don't know if my In-laws ever RSVPed. I think they just assumed we knew they were coming. Although we did off a choice of entree.

As far as us, we either respond right away, or are one of the tricklers.

 

[Disney Doll]

I pretty much RSVP right away...maybe not first, but I am usually sending the card back within a week after I get it.

 

[jonestavern]

I like to RSVP ASAP

If I don't I'm just afraid I'll forget!

I have noticed, too, that sooo many folks like to wait until the last minute. Sometimes that is unavoidable, perhaps they are having a medical procedure, or waiting to find out if a military spouse will be available, etc.


Be prepared for those who respond 'yes' & then fail to show! Our wedding had 17 of these! Of the 'no shows' only 3 of them offered reasons & those were very good reasons. I didn't ask why these individuals didn't showsome just sheepishly offered.
Yes, 17 uneaten meals we had to pay for! Needless, to say I had them wrapped up & sent home with DMom
My friend's DH was the talk of his workplace when he chowed down on duck a la Orange 2 days in a row!

Jean

 

[dcgrumpy]

Sometimes I respond right away, sometimes I forget and I do it at the last minute. It depends if I remember and how busy i am. I honestly wouldn't expect too many responses 4 weeks before the due date.

 

[Stacerita]

Im a procrastinator, so I generally send it closer to the RSVP by date. I do try to send it as soon as I know if I am able to go and if I am bringing someone with me or not. But I am never a first responder.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I just kind of show up

 

[clh2]

We usually respond right away, and did so for 2 of 3 weddings we are invited ot this summer.

For wedding #3, we waited until the last possible moment. There were some extenuating circumstances (new dog, wedding out of state, what to do with DD 12 - who was invited to the wedding, but we weren't sure we should take her, etc.) We are ending up with DD going to a Girl Scout workshop that day that she really wants to go to, and my parents are driving 4 hours from their home to get DD, and get her back to our house, and then essentially dog sit, and keep an eye on DD. It was a complicated thing, because they didn't have enough people signed up in the rock-climbing GS workshop until right before the RSVP's were due. We did tell the bride's parents that we would be responding, we just didn't know if it was going to be 2 or 3. We also knew that they invited DD because of the travel knew we wouldn't leave her home alone. DD doesn't really know the bride, so I didn't think it mandatory that she attend, plus it will be nice to have a night alone with DH!

 

[Daxx]

I try to reply as quickly as possible since I would, otherwise, I'd misplace it and have to go on a massive hunt for it! I figure that the sooner it leaves my hands, the more time I have not to fret about losing or sending it!

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

I usually reply right away. However, I know that before my wedding I had to call several non-responders just before the final count was due to the caterer.

I'm assuming it is your fiance's decision not to let his own mother bring a date. That seems rather harsh-- although I suppose there might be a reason that is none of our business.

 

[fabumouse]

It's so frustrating isn't it? There are so many plans to be made, dependant on the number of guests. I'm a stick-it-on-the-calendar-immediately kind of guest, but my DH is not. So, if it's his friends, the invite goes in his mailbox and he often ignores it until close to the actual date. I think it's terribly rude, but I'm not his mother.

Good luck and have a great wedding!

 

[swea_pea1]

Sometimes I respond right away, sometimes I wait a bit. It has no reflection on the bride and groom - I just get lazy or it gets put on a shelf waiting or whatever.

I honestly wouldn't worry. 8/5 isn't long off for you, but it is for me and probably a lot of folks. Vacations are in full swing so it's not unlikely that some of them are either out of town or are preparing to go.

Good luck with the wedding!

 

[disneynutt1225]

Be prepared for those who respond 'yes' & then fail to show! Our wedding had 17 of these! Of the 'no shows' only 3 of them offered reasons & those were very good reasons. I didn't ask why these individuals didn't showsome just sheepishly offered.
Yes, 17 uneaten meals we had to pay for! Needless, to say I had them wrapped up & sent home with DMom
My friend's DH was the talk of his workplace when he chowed down on duck a la Orange 2 days in a row!

Oh no! That would be terrible! Of course, I'm sure that happens once in a while for extenuating circumstances, but I'd expect that if I said I would be there, I would be there! 17 people?! That's an awful lot of no shows! I can't even imagine.

 

[disneynutt1225]

I'm assuming it is your fiance's decision not to let his own mother bring a date. That seems rather harsh-- although I suppose there might be a reason that is none of our business.

Well, it was our decision together. There are reasons for it, but basically it's rude for her to assume she'd be able to bring someone - especially since this is the second "special someone" for her in under 6 months. It's a little absurd really.

 

[Beth76]

There are reasons for it, but basically it's rude for her to assume she'd be able to bring someone - especially since this is the second "special someone" for her in under 6 months. It's a little absurd really.

Actually, it's rude to not let her invite a guest. All single adults should be allowed to bring a guest with them. Even if the invite is "and guest" and not name specific. But it's your wedding.

We try to respond ASAP. Many times we've had to secure a babysitter first which can take some time.

We also had a couple of no-shows at our wedding. One couple was DH's boss whose wife was offended that they weren't invited in the first place so we ended up inviting them. And they never showed. Never heard from them again because DH changed jobs right before the wedding.

 

[lclark0621]

Oh I hated that when we got married!

I RSVP to anything as soon as I know if we can go or not. I never wait until the last minute.

When we got married, I got so many late responses. Some of them I had to basically say "Sorry you are out of luck" to. We got married in Disney, had a certian number of rooms allocated for guests. And when those filled up & the rest of the on property hotels were full, there was nothing I could do for guests who decided at the last minute they were coming (at the time, you had to have a certian number of hotel nights booked based on your guests).

 

[disneynutt1225]

Actually, it's rude to not let her invite a guest. All single adults should be allowed to bring a guest with them. Even if the invite is "and guest" and not name specific. But it's your wedding.

Interesting...everything I've read on the subject says that you should only invite "and guest" if A) they're living together B) they're married or C) they're in a serious, committed relationship. Regardless, it's a decision that's already been made, and we're not backing down from it.

It would be a shame if that's really the reason why she hasn't sent in her response. At this point, it's only a theory.

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

Actually, it's rude to not let her invite a guest. All single adults should be allowed to bring a guest with them. Even if the invite is "and guest" and not name specific. But it's your wedding.

I had read that you are only "required" to allow those couples who are married, engaged, or living together to bring a date. It's considered nice to let others do so if your budget can allow. But I do think (barring unusual circumstances which this apparently is) that an important guest such a mother should be able to be accompanied. We let my MIL bring 3 guests (the woman she took care of and the woman's son and DIL)-- it helped keep her out of our hair.

ETA that apparently disneynutt beat me to it. Although I noticed she changed the wording from engaged to "serious committed relationship."

 

[disneynutt1225]

We let my MIL bring 3 guests (the woman she took care of and the woman's son and DIL)-- it helped keep her out of our hair.

I imagine it helped you enjoy your day immensely!!!