How is your relationship with your ex?

[raysnkaysmom]

Inspired by the divorced thread.... I"m just curious how your relationship with your ex is?
I think, I must be a very lucky person...although it was a long road to this. We've been apart 5 yrs.. but, honestly, the last 3 have been good.
We get together for the girls bday dinners... and on occassion, just take them shopping or something. Sometimes, he has hung out here to watch Bones or House with us. We talk a couple times a week to make sure we know whats going on with the girls, and we split our week according to my retail work schedule.
I have the new baby with my DBF, and everytime my ex is around, he plays with that baby and just adores him (he's always LOVED kids). Even his dad calls himself 'papa' around the baby.. lol
He has talked with my DBF a few times, nothing to write home about, but because my ex knows he's having a hand in helping raise the girls too, they are both very cordial and respectful.
I think it is so healthy for our kids, MUCH better than when we were actually married
Anyone else?

 

[Darcy03231]

My ex and I (divorced for 12 years) get along ok. We agreed to disagree and our divorce took a total of 5 weeks to finalize. Since my kids are now 15 & 17 I really don't see or speak to him much.

 

[kellyg403]

Yes, we are the same here. Much better than the last years of our marriage that is for sure. My dh and I have gone out to dinner with him and his wife, basically to catch up on things like dd's college applications etc.

The first 2 years were the hardest, but then it started changing/evolving. I think because ex didn't know if I was going to do what I said and keep him involved in their lives as much as I could. I had to be real flexible since he was military but it was all worth it. The kids really have a good relationship with their dad and he really tries hard too. Ex has also taken sdd's out to dinner with him and bio kids from time to time. He totally sees that dd and her stepsister are very close and is o.k. with it.

Now, my dh and his ex? Goodness a book could be written about all that. They have been divorced for 12 years now and you would think it happened yesterday for the two of them. Glad I got past all the fighting and bickering!

Kelly

 

[MainStMandy]

We don't speak. At first we were great friends, talked every week...then he got a girlfriend who didn't get why he talked to his exwife. That's cool, I get it. Now the only time I hear from him is throught he Church as he is trying to get our marriage anulled We had no kids so we have no reason to talk anymore.

 

[Evil Genius]

The last time I heard from the ex was 2001. He called to tell me he married his mistress and they had two kids. (do we have a so what smilie?) OH and he wanted to know if I was still a blonde

I've heard from mutual friends that he looks like the evil clown from the movie Spawn. Which thrills me to no end

 

[Michelle67]

All in all I'd have to say it is pretty good. We get along fine and are often at one another's family gatherings (Christmas Eve, Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, birthdays, etc). If he buys something for our daughter, he always buys something for my other two kids also, and is friendly with them when he comes over. He's very bright and funny, and I can enjoy his company when I don't have to try to live with his other personality traits, which are vain and selfish. Right now my husband is out of the country, and even though my oldest (my ex's daughter) is an adult and has moved out of the house, my ex still calls me up every couple of weeks to make sure everything is okay here. I know if my roof was leaking or something, he would come over and help me out. I appreciate that about him a lot. On the other hand, if you added it up he probably paid about three years' child support out of 15. Still, overall I think I am very lucky with my ex and his family.

 

[luvsJack]

To say we don't get along would be a major understatment. We can be civil and we can actually have a conversation if it has NOTHING to do with the boys.

 

[bsnyder]

We get told all the time by people that we should be the standard to strive for.

It was a lot of hard work at first. Bad feelings, from the marriage, mistakes we both made, and some very hard feelings from family members, on both sides. He and I (and my DH, once I remarried) persevered. We talked through issues. We went to counseling - sometimes just the ex and I, sometimes all three of us.

It's now almost 20 years since our separation, and it's not hard work at all, it's not even work. We all truly like and respect each other, and that includes the various in-laws. Our kids are at an age where we've had a lot of life events that have required us to all be together to celebrate. Most recently, DS #2 just graduated from college 2500 miles away from home. DH and I went, and my ex and his parents went. We spent the better part of 4 days together, along with DS's girlfriend and her family. We had a great time, and we all have the single most important thing in common - incredible love for and pride in the kids.

 

[jordansmomma]

The first year or two was the worst. It was out right horrible. But now
things are better. We call each other about the kids, sometimes we hang out with the boys. It has taken quite a while for us to be civil with each other.
But we now get along because of our children.
He really is a pain in my butt, but I deal with it.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I'm only 1 year out from my divorce. I hope things improve over time b/c right now they are awful.

 

[Jennasis]

I haven't spoken to my ex in 8+ Years. He was a nutbag of the highest order, and our parting was unpleasant (I left him). He contacted my parents a few months ago though to let them know he was moving to AZ with his new fiance and that he was in "a good place with his life now and wanted them to know he didn't harbor any ill will towards me." Like I give a rat's patoot. He threatened to kill me when I left him!

 

[suzimar57]

haven't spoken to my ex in years - no plans to.

 

[cinderellakh20]

My divorce won't be final until first of November, but we are on speaking terms for the kids' sake, only by divine intervention He basically didn't come home one night, while I was working my overnight shift at the hospital. Luckily my mom was there so the kids were safe of course, but no warning, just decided he wasn't a happy person when he was married - after 7 years too!!!! The only kids I truly pity are my (previous) stepsons, boys ages 13 and 15 - my ex moved out of state immediately and now he has done this to those poor boys twice, and my kids have a much better support system. He has only come to see my kids a couple of times. What a jerk, huh? So, prayers for all of you that are going through the same thing - we'll make it through it. And great for all of you that have good communication - hopefully it will always be that way!

 

[*pixie*dust*]

We are not yet finalized. My ex suffers from severe depression. Sometimes he is fine other times he sort of drops off the face of the earth for a few weeks. I don't like the way he doesn't prioritize visiting our son but at the same time I know he is not well.
It was very painful to get to the point of deciding we should divorce but we are not really at odds either. He does not want to be well, or at least does not want to put the effort forth to be well. I know he loves our son but he is not the father he should be. I resent that even though I do understand the ravages of mental illness.

 

[maiziezoe]

My ex and I have been apart for almost 10 years. The first year was the hardest (mostly because we couldn't decide if we wanted to stay together or stay apart.), but after the first year it's been nothing but a breeze.

We get along better now than we did when we were married. My ex's old therapist asked us to be a case study for a book she was writing because we co-parent so well.

We've both re-married and moved on with our lives. I consider him and his wife good friends of mine and my husbands.

My hubby and his ex, on the other hand... oy. Yikes.

 

[Stitchfans]

As I said on that thread. We can at least be in a room without chopping each others heads off that is all he can expect from me.

 

[BellvilleDad]

I'm lucky that we didn't have kids before we divorced. We both still live in the same small town and our kids by our second marriages go to the same school, almost the same ages.

I don't mind speaking to her in passing when I see her, usually at school functions, but we don't do things together. She married the guy she had an affair with. Us guys don't often forget things like that.

 

[missypie]

I'm very fortunate that we didn't have kids. I last spoke to him in 1989-last saw him in 1988.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Actually my ex is one of my best friends. We talk almost daily and he is great about helping out with extra expenses for the girls if needed. He has been on our last 2 WDW vacations with us (he gets his own room) so that he can see the kids. DH and my ex get along great and often head off to ride certain rides at Disney without the rest of us.

My ex is a great guy but just not the life partner for me. We are much better off as friends than we ever were as a married couple. I hope that when he gets remarried that his new wife doesn't cause problems with the way things are now.

DH and his ex are another story. They can hardly be civil and she keeps dragging us in and out of court for more money. She has refused to let DH have his court ordered visitation many times then yells that he doesn't see his kids enough. She's a real piece of work.

 

[parrothead365]

We only speak in sign language. If I see her I give her the bird and if she sees me she gives me the bird. It's been well over 20 years now, but I'm sure those are still the rules.