How important were your wedding photos?

[MiniGirl]

Honestly, I don't get many of these brides today. I will occassionally catch some of Bridezillas and am appalled at the way these women treats those they suppossedly love. I'm floored people (friends, family, vendors) don't walk out and them. Makes me wonder how much of it is "real" and how much is staged.

My dh and I were going to be married on the beach in Key West right as the sun was setting. It was going to be a small ceremony with just family. Well, 2 weeks before the wedding my mom took ill and was hospitalized. When we realized she wouldn't be allowed to travel, we moved the wedding to Baton Rouge. As the day got closer, it became clear that she wouldn't even be out of the hospital. The day before the wedding, my dh and I are roaming through the hospital looking for a place to have the ceremony. (We figured if I showed up in a gown they wouldn't kick us out. LOL!) Anyway, when word got out, the hospital administrator offered us their beautiful 2 story atrium to use. My mom could not be around real flowers, so she and her friends cut her wedding gown into strips and made it into silk flowers. I told my MoH to just pick out any dress she liked and would wear again and that was fine with me. Because everything was so hectic, I ended up actually buying my veil and shoes the morning of the wedding. Our photographer was also hired at the last minute, and truthfully, our photos are not the best. Know what though...... none of that matters. I remember everything about my wedding day, and there was nothing "perfect" about it. I had amatuerish looking silk flowers. No music. No church or beach. No gorgeous bridal or bridesmaid gowns. My veil didn't really match my dress. None of the guys had jackets. My brothers actually wore shorts. (We were going to be on the beach, remember?) And a photog that was pretty new. You know what though? My wedding, while it had no perfect elements, was truly PERFECT. Many of the hospital staff attended and they commented later to my mom that it was one of the nicest weddings they'd ever attended. There was just so much love in that ceremony that you could feel it all the way up to the rafters of that huge atrium, and given our circumstances, I wouldn't have changed a thing. My dad ended up passing away 7 months later and my mom lost her battle with cancer 3 weeks after that. My wedding was the last time my family was all together, and I will always cherish that day -- for so many reasons. What people looked like or wore is not why it is so special though; and when I do look at the photos, I never see all the imperfections. All I see is the love we all shared and experienced that day. We celebrate our 15th anniversary this summer, and I have never, not once, regretted not having my "perfect" beach wedding.

Sorry to ramble, but thanks for allowing me to share.

 

[OceanAnnie]

This is a spin off from the wedding board about a bridesmaid getting a tattoo prior to the wedding, but it's a sentiment I've heard many times. Brides want their photos to look perfect and this seems to trump common sense sometimes. It's normal to expect to have to buy a dress and maybe shoes when you're a bridesmaid, but I've personally heard of brides insisting their bridesmaids loose weight, dye their hair, whiten their teeth, get tans, etc. There was even a Boing Boing story of a bride demanding her bridesmaids have breast surgery!

http://boingboing.net/2008/07/25/brides-demand-breast.html

These demands are always put forth under the same guise of being "so the pictures look good!" This trend also seems to be getting more common... How much do you think is asking too much for the sake of photos?

I think when it gets to that point, the bride has lost all touch with reality. What is important is the marriage. The celebration is nice, but it's 1 day. One day. These women need to put their lives in perspective.

Seems like they are buying into Hollyweird to me.

 

[Becky2005]

And here I thought it was going to be how important it was to HAVE photos or something like that. I'm a photo nut type person (why, yes, I will buy the 50,000 photo package of my kids because I have sucker stamped on my forehead for such things). As long as the photos are good.

HOWEVER, I'm more of a let's see the real people photos too. It wouldn't even cross my mind to ask my family/friends to be someone they are not for a wedding. That's silly (in my mind anyway).

 

[Jennasis]

My cousin got married last fall and his bride-to-be has a tattoo from her years in the Air Force on her arm. The mother-of-the-bride (who was a complete ogre) ranted and raved about the poor girl needing to have the tattoo lasered off before the wedding or else the photos "would be ruined"!

I was mortified. My cousin came to visit DH and I with his fiance and when they told me of this, I went online and found her special effects makeup to cover her tatoo. Offered to buy it for her as a wedding gift.

She covered the tat with makeup...looked like a million bucks, and totally pissed off her mom anyway. Some people just need to find things to complain about.

 

[Melmac]

The photos were important to me to document the day. "Perfect" photos are impossible and I feel that people in photos look their best when they feel their best. If I had put rules on what could be worn, hair style or what colour nail polish they could wear, do you think they would have tried so hard at the photo shoot? I doubt it. My bridesmaids were my sister and my DH's sisters and I couldn't have imagined putting any restrictions on what they could or couldn't do before the wedding. I thought I was a pretty laid-back bride. For the dresses, I just picked the colour; they chose the style. I didn't care about their hair, make-up shoes, whatever. I can't even watch some of those bride shows on TV - I end up yelling at the TV because a lot of those girls don't seem to live in the real world.

 

[Buckalew11]

I never thought about my wedding day being perfect.

It amazes me how much drama brides put into their wedding day these days.

They think more about the ceremony and perfection than about the actual marriage!

Then they wake up one day and the fairy tale is over! LOL

Pictures are nice to have because the loved ones in the photos die and you end up having these really nice photos that caught the memory of them sharing your wedding day with you.

I don't do wedding hair anymore. It is because of Bridezilla's. Too much stress and drama. I'll let someone else deal with a bossy bride. lol

 

[Fire14]

I would have been a bit upset if BM's or groomsmen had gotten tatoos that showed in pics or did crazy stuff to hair but other than that I'm cool. I have to laugh because my niece wanted an airbrush tatoo 3 days before my wedding and my mom made her call me to get ok first, she was 4 yrs old. She got permission on condtion her dress had to cover it.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

Honestly, I don't get many of these brides today. I will occassionally catch some of Bridezillas and am appalled at the way these women treats those they suppossedly love. I'm floored people (friends, family, vendors) don't walk out and them. Makes me wonder how much of it is "real" and how much is staged.

My dh and I were going to be married on the beach in Key West right as the sun was setting. It was going to be a small ceremony with just family. Well, 2 weeks before the wedding my mom took ill and was hospitalized. When we realized she wouldn't be allowed to travel, we moved the wedding to Baton Rouge. As the day got closer, it became clear that she wouldn't even be out of the hospital. The day before the wedding, my dh and I are roaming through the hospital looking for a place to have the ceremony. (We figured if I showed up in a gown they wouldn't kick us out. LOL!) Anyway, when word got out, the hospital administrator offered us their beautiful 2 story atrium to use. My mom could not be around real flowers, so she and her friends cut her wedding gown into strips and made it into silk flowers. I told my MoH to just pick out any dress she liked and would wear again and that was fine with me. Because everything was so hectic, I ended up actually buying my veil and shoes the morning of the wedding. Our photographer was also hired at the last minute, and truthfully, our photos are not the best. Know what though...... none of that matters. I remember everything about my wedding day, and there was nothing "perfect" about it. I had amatuerish looking silk flowers. No music. No church or beach. No gorgeous bridal or bridesmaid gowns. My veil didn't really match my dress. None of the guys had jackets. My brothers actually wore shorts. (We were going to be on the beach, remember?) And a photog that was pretty new. You know what though? My wedding, while it had no perfect elements, was truly PERFECT. Many of the hospital staff attended and they commented later to my mom that it was one of the nicest weddings they'd ever attended. There was just so much love in that ceremony that you could feel it all the way up to the rafters of that huge atrium, and given our circumstances, I wouldn't have changed a thing. My dad ended up passing away 7 months later and my mom lost her battle with cancer 3 weeks after that. My wedding was the last time my family was all together, and I will always cherish that day -- for so many reasons. What people looked like or wore is not why it is so special though; and when I do look at the photos, I never see all the imperfections. All I see is the love we all shared and experienced that day. We celebrate our 15th anniversary this summer, and I have never, not once, regretted not having my "perfect" beach wedding.

Sorry to ramble, but thanks for allowing me to share.

Your story made me cry. I wish my daughter (who had her "perfect" Key West wedding) was half the woman you seem to be. Thank you for sharing. And so sorry for the loss of both your parents.

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

There is so much media right now surrounding weddings, from all the shows on WE and TLC to the Knot and Wedding Bee and even some of the threads here on the wedding board. So much of the focus seems to be on fantasy- the bride pretending she and her groom are in some magazine editorial, and not just a normal wedding, full of normal people who love each other. Stop trying to be so freaking perfect, and just be regular people in love. I would never in a million years care if the people I care enough about to want to be in my wedding got a tat, dyed hair, gained weight, etc. Its about the person, not the look.

That said, my pics were VERY important to me, I wanted a skilled photographer and a nice album. The pictures themselves were important memories for me, not the perfection of the subjects.

 

[Pigeon]

The photos were and are pretty unimportant to me. If I had to do it all over again, I would spend way less time with the photographer and more time having fun at the party.

As for expecting people in the wedding party to go to special lengths to look a certain way, I think that's obnoxious. If you love them enough to want them in the wedding party, you should love them as they are.

 

[CharityLynn]

Pictures were important to me for my wedding day but really didn't care about the people in my wedding's appearance. I believe my sister in law had a tattoo on the back of her shoulder and she wore a strapless dress! lol I was just happy that people came to share this day with my and my husband.

My husband however did get his eyebrows waxed and hair cut a few days before the wedding lol..I was shocked he did the eyebrows and love him so much for it lol...he has really thick hair like me and get this unibrow thing going..I didn't even ask him to di it he did it on his own...I love the man

We've been together for 10 years married 5 and a half of those.

 

[MM27]

I giggle every time someone uses the abbreviation BM when someone is talking about a bridesmaid.

 

[crz4mm2]

We didn't even require tuxes for our groomsmen. Hell, their suits didn't even have to MATCH!
I think it is crazy.

 

[princess pooh]

We picked our attendants because they were important friends or family to us. We had all shaped, sizes, colors, hair colors etc. The pictures were important to capturte our day with our loved ones, not to capture our day with our airbrushed-to-perfection loved ones.

That was us exactly. Our pictures really reflected the joy and love we felt that day. I was old and lazy by the time I got married, so we told the bridesmaids and groomsmen to just wear whatever they wanted. I'm sure the pictures might have looked better if the wedding party didn't clash but we just ordered those in black and white

 

[Ember]

Honestly, I don't get many of these brides today. I will occassionally catch some of Bridezillas and am appalled at the way these women treats those they suppossedly love. I'm floored people (friends, family, vendors) don't walk out and them. Makes me wonder how much of it is "real" and how much is staged.

My dh and I were going to be married on the beach in Key West right as the sun was setting. It was going to be a small ceremony with just family. Well, 2 weeks before the wedding my mom took ill and was hospitalized. When we realized she wouldn't be allowed to travel, we moved the wedding to Baton Rouge. As the day got closer, it became clear that she wouldn't even be out of the hospital. The day before the wedding, my dh and I are roaming through the hospital looking for a place to have the ceremony. (We figured if I showed up in a gown they wouldn't kick us out. LOL!) Anyway, when word got out, the hospital administrator offered us their beautiful 2 story atrium to use. My mom could not be around real flowers, so she and her friends cut her wedding gown into strips and made it into silk flowers. I told my MoH to just pick out any dress she liked and would wear again and that was fine with me. Because everything was so hectic, I ended up actually buying my veil and shoes the morning of the wedding. Our photographer was also hired at the last minute, and truthfully, our photos are not the best. Know what though...... none of that matters. I remember everything about my wedding day, and there was nothing "perfect" about it. I had amatuerish looking silk flowers. No music. No church or beach. No gorgeous bridal or bridesmaid gowns. My veil didn't really match my dress. None of the guys had jackets. My brothers actually wore shorts. (We were going to be on the beach, remember?) And a photog that was pretty new. You know what though? My wedding, while it had no perfect elements, was truly PERFECT. Many of the hospital staff attended and they commented later to my mom that it was one of the nicest weddings they'd ever attended. There was just so much love in that ceremony that you could feel it all the way up to the rafters of that huge atrium, and given our circumstances, I wouldn't have changed a thing. My dad ended up passing away 7 months later and my mom lost her battle with cancer 3 weeks after that. My wedding was the last time my family was all together, and I will always cherish that day -- for so many reasons. What people looked like or wore is not why it is so special though; and when I do look at the photos, I never see all the imperfections. All I see is the love we all shared and experienced that day. We celebrate our 15th anniversary this summer, and I have never, not once, regretted not having my "perfect" beach wedding.

Sorry to ramble, but thanks for allowing me to share.

Thank you for sharing. My wedding was three years ago, before my mum got sick. Had things been different, I would have done exactly the same as you. One of my favorite memories of my wedding was a quiet moment holding my mum's hand and telling her no matter what I would always be her little girl. Someone caught it with a camera and gave me the picture. It's not one of the professional ones, edited and beautiful, but it's one of my favorites.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

I giggle every time someone uses the abbreviation BM when someone is talking about a bridesmaid.

Glad I'm not the only one.

 

[pigletgirl]

Yeah, I'm willing to spend $$$$ on a wedding shoot. Pictures last forever!

 

[Aisling]

At the time, my wedding pictures were very important to me. One of my bridesmaids was a lot shorter than the others, so when we all went shopping for the shoes, I asked her to wear higher heels and the others to wear lower heels so we'd all "match" for the photos. All the shoes matched except for the heel size. They didn't mind at all, probably because they had the same idea as I did for what they wanted for their own weddings.

Now that I'm older and look back, it wouldn't have made a difference. But my wedding party sure did look perfectly purty!