How fast it all changed.

[Snowflakey]

First thing I do each morning when I get to work is log on to see if there are any updates and how you are doing.

Although this chapter in your life right now is beyond heartbreaking know that the love, guidance, support and fight you are doing and giving is amazing. You ARE making a difference for your DH and your kids. If you find times you take your anger out on your DD, then other times when she is walking by just grab her and give her a big hug. No need to even say anything. She will understand.

Wish there was something other than my prayers I could do for you.

What about having a good friend start a meal train for your family? Would that be too much having someone stop by each day? You could set it up where they leave the meal on your doorstep. If not what about having a friend reach out to others to get gift cards for dinners to help out. There is so much close friends can do for you. I hope they are there for you. xoxo

 

[mjkacmom]

to all of you and prayers for your continued grace and peace. As to the bolded, just a small suggestion - most schools have a counselling/support resource person. I'd find the time to make a phone call or visit to let them know what's going on so they can reach out to your kids (which they will do very discreetly). From there they can offer further options for help that is relatively easily accessible and reasonably priced. The hospital social worker is an appropriate source to look for this information too. It would be very beneficial for the kids to have something/someone of their own outside you and their Dad where they can process. Hang in there Hon - like a PP said, you're doing a great job.

This is a great suggestion! I contacted my kids’ schools when my mom was diagnosed, and one day when ds burst into tears in class, the school knew what was going on.

 

[rodeo65]

Rough day today. He is in much more pain this morning than he had been and it's so hard to see him so hopeless and defeated. I hate that more than anything. He's always been the can-do guy in the family. The care coordinator is arriving shortly and tomorrow we see the oncologist. Then I hope things will get rolling. He can get the referral to be able to get CBD oil and hopefully his treatment will start immediately.

He tried heat on the liver and back area where he is having the most pain and that seemed to help some. I don't know if that's ok or not. We'll ask tomorrow but right now I'm just trying to get him some relief. It worked well enough that he fell asleep after using it.

Yes, the school, including the teachers and the psychologist on staff are all aware of the situation. The kids are being given leeway with deadlines and I did ask the social worker about a cancer support group. Haven't heard back about that yet. The care coordinator should also have resources that way I think. DD and I are good now - today I'm the best mommy in the world. She's really struggling seeing her dad like this. Scared of the rapid weight loss and how sick he looks so quickly.

 

[vicwishes]

Hugs to you. Caring thoughts and prayers are being sent your way.

 

[rodeo65]

Wow! Just had an amazing meeting with our care coordinator. She gave great suggestions - for food, better pain management until we can see the oncologist tomorrow, things to ask her about as far as meds that can help with his appetite. She is changing his qualifications to allow more supports. He'll have a PSW in daily for baths, nurses checking in every other day or so - possibly daily depending on what tomorrow brings as far as treatment goes. We can have an overnight nurse if needed. Just so much available that was never discussed with us previously.

She is going to send in a counsellor for all of us - DH and I as well as the kids. She approved the wheelchair for getting him to appointments but also said if needed they can have nurses to the house for all medication needs, infusions etc!

The only hard part was the discussion on a palliative facility should it become necessary. She said we wouldn't go into much of that right now but wanted us to know it's available. He could go in for up to three months at the end of life. Not easy to hear regardless how prepared I think I am for that. She said she hopes chemo shrinks everything and he goes on for a long time. I didn't get the feeling that is what she thinks though. Had to come upstairs to "check my e-mail" and cry. Overall, though, a really good meeting and I feel more able to take it all on now.

 

[gillep]

I am so glad you are finally getting some good support.

I hope that the counselor is good for you and your family as well, my MIL passed from pancreatic cancer about 5 years ago, and two of her children are just now beginning to seek out help for issues they have surrounding her illness/passing, and they have both mentioned that they wish they had reached out sooner, even just having someone removed from the situation/family to talk to can be so helpful. Unfortunately, my father in law still refuses to talk about it at all, and has a lot of anger and resentment that he cannot work through.

Keeping you all in my thoughts.

 

[focusondisney]

Had to come upstairs to "check my e-mail" and cry.

 

[Mokat76]

Rodeo, I’m glad your meeting this morning went well and you’re finally getting some much-needed support. Operating in a vacuum is so scary. Maybe all of this will be the first corner being turned.

I am so sorry, however, about the ugly reality that intruded. It’s so hard when it’s a person you love. No matter how much you steel yourself for what might be coming, hearing someone even imply it is like a gut punch. It knocks the air out of you. This is me hugging you from so far away. Prayers and good thoughts always.

 

[TheConsciousness]

He can get the referral to be able to get CBD oil and hopefully his treatment will start immediately.

From all that I have heard, I would HIGHLY recommend this magic oil. The purest and highest quality you can find. Also, as Canadians, you should have access to other medicinal *items* that have been shown to help significantly with cancer.

 

[maxaroni]

Glad to hear you had a good, albeit difficult, meeting today. Hope some of the things help with his pain. I can’t believe I didn’t think of having people come to the house as that is what my mom needed. She did need a wheelchair for appointments she had to go out for. However, she had all sorts of people come to the house. She had PT, OT, phlebotomists, general doctor, even a hairdresser.

My mom had a whole different set of issues, however, had unrelenting pain 24/7. It was so very hard to see her in so much pain, so can understand that. My mom situation was critical from day 1 and treatment plans for one thing, would cause something else. It was very difficult.

I guess what I am saying is that so many of us have dealt with this type of thing with our loved ones, we are here for you.

(((HUGS))))

 

[Snowflakey]

Good luck at today's appointment Rodeo65. We're all here for you!

 

[Minnesota!]

Thinking of you today!

 

[JenniferYoung44]

Dont have any words of wisdom. Just wanted to let you know Im following and praying for you Rodeo65

 

[gemini2727]

I'm so sorry Rodeo65.
Your husband is very fortunate to have you by his side, try to take care of yourself, too.
You're all in my prayers.

 

[Neesy228]

Thinking of you as you navigate the onocology appointment today.

 

[Mokat76]

I’ve been thinking of you today. Sending prayers and warm thoughts.

 

[wdw4us]

I just saw t his post, read through most of it. Praying for you and your family.

denise

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I am saying some extra prayers for you and your family today rodeo. I am so sorry your husband is going through this. He is lucky to have you by his side, but I know how hard this is for you. You have my prayers and support. Hugs.

 

[rodeo65]

Worst possible day today. Hmm. I think I said that before, so guess I was wrong.

Diagnosis: Stage Four - Pancreatic Adenocarcinoma with metastisization to the liver. (As the oncologist put it - it's the Patrick Swayze as opposed to the Steve Jobs)

Prognosis: Incurable. With chemo he might have two years. Maybe within that time more treatments are uncovered.

However, he is currently not in condition to receive chemotherapy. He is too sick, and weak. He has poor pain management, has started throwing up - once yesterday and once this morning before we left for the appointment. It took about ten minutes for him to finish being sick to leave for the appointment, it takes about ten minutes to drive there, another five to get the wheelchair and get him upstairs and he managed to sit for about another ten in the wheelchair before saying he needed a gurney; had to lie down. So out of bed for 35 minutes did him in for the day. To start chemo, she wants him to be up and functional for about half the day. He is currently bedridden.

The oncologist sent us down to emergency for triage and re-admittance. Further testing to determine what is going on. If this is a situation where poor pain management is leading to nausea is leading to anxiety and back again, then he has agreed to narcotic pain relief and they will adjust his anti-nausea meds to try and get him stable. Then if we can get his appetite back and get some food into him maybe he can get strong enough for chemo. That is the hope.

If this is the cancer taking over - his prognosis is weeks to a short number of months.

He had a morphine drip in the ER and slept for the afternoon. He woke around 5 and was starting to feel the pain coming back so they switched to I believe she said hydromorphone but not quite sure that was right. In any case - stronger at a lower dose but also longer lasting. I had to pick DD up from work at 6 and he said to just go home for the night and get some rest - he'd be asleep also. Still waiting for him to be moved up to a room - currently in ER still. He was pretty upset. Said when he woke up "well, I'm fu***d" I told him to take tonight to be pissed and cry and get out all the toxic energy he's entitled to feel but that won't help him - dump it all. Tomorrow we fight. He needs to eat, gain strength, sleep and be ready for chemo.

I've just told the kids.

 

[mumto3girls]

Oh my. So sorry for all that you and your family are going through. I haven’t posted, but have been following along and wishing you well. I hope this current round of treatment will help your husband build strength to fight this. I think of you often.