How fast it all changed.

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by rodeo65, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. pooh'smate

    pooh'smate Stuck in the Middle

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    Glad to read your update Rodeo. Hope the kids have a great year in school.
     
  2. lisaviolet

    lisaviolet DIS Veteran

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    Thinking about you rodeo. Thinking it must be a difficult holiday. But Happy Thanksgiving to your entire family. Hope you, your parents and kids are doing okay.

    At a loss of how to express sadness over how much you must miss him and good thoughts about life in general and the future. :hug:
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2018
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  4. rodeo65

    rodeo65 DIS Veteran

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    Thanks lisaviolet! I was kind of hibernating from the board for a bit. Made it through the most difficult first. Sort of. Our 20th Anniversary would have been last week. It was also Thanksgiving and the week prior was DD's 16th birthday. I knew October was going to be tough - and it has been. For whatever reason I chose that week to sort through DH's clothes. That was the hardest yet. Harder even than pictures for me. I kept two of his favourite t-shirts and the kids took a few things each. Everything else is now in piles ready for donation.

    In the past month or so I've cleaned out most of the kitchen cupboards (made a lot of weird dishes using up things so we don't have to move them), the bookcases in the family room, hall closets and DH's desk, shelves and bathroom. It still looks like there is a ton to do even though logically I know I've accomplished a lot, also.

    I'm in the process of getting the pool ready to close, outdoor clean up and moving the patio furniture to my parent's house. They're putting in a lower patio below their deck so we decided to keep our furniture. Finding room for all our cushions plus theirs will be interesting.

    Yesterday, we met with an organiser. She is going to help my parents clear their basement and purge their 58 years of accumulation so hopefully their storage space will be able to contain what I'm bringing, plus the items they currently have out upstairs that they want to keep but we'll be taking over that space. They said they basically want to get rid of everything downstairs, so there should be plenty of room. I think I'll have her come help me with the remainder of the basement as well. I got rid of a lot but have still way too much to take so I need her to push me to get rid of things I really have no need for.

    Next is going to be moving our personal things and bedroom furniture, probably the last week of November and then the kids will start living there and I'll stay at our house with the dogs if necessary. The oldest one is almost 14 and will not be able to make the move. I think his time has come but DS is having a hard time accepting that. He was Dad's dog and it going to be a really heartbreaking thing to do. He doesn't have much quality of life anymore, though. He basically only lays on his bed and goes out a few times per day. He isn't interested in toys chewies or his food - I have to really coax him to eat half of what he used to. He has accidents in the house often and usually I have to help lift him to go outside. He's 75 lbs to not an easy thing. He is the sweetest dog though. He still wants pats and I take a lot of breaks and sit with him often. I keep trying to explain to DS that its not fair to keep him for our own needs when he's not comfortable, and he says "yeah, but he's still happy to see us." I think I'm going to have to be the bad guy and just force the issue soon. When he's up and moving, though he will run around outside, last week he chased a squirrel. It's such a tough call when there is no specific illness or reason to have it done, but just a general decline. It's hard to see when he's crossed the line because it seems to move day to day. Each day that is bad and I think ok, time has come, it'll be followed by a really good day and I think oh, not yet.
     
  5. ksjayhawks

    ksjayhawks DIS Veteran

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    Have you thought about having some of his clothes made into throw sized blankets for each of you? That might be a nice memory.
     
  6. minniecarousel

    minniecarousel Chris Isaak fan

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    Good to hear from you. I like that you’re putting one foot in front of the other.

    So sorry about your old dog. It’s gotta be easier when it’s obvious. Sound like he’s not there yet.
     
  7. flyingdumbo127

    flyingdumbo127 DIS Veteran

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    Thank you for posting, Rodeo. This thread and the thread about Dom, are why I still come to the CB--to check in and I pray offer some comfort and love.

    I am also so sorry about your elderly dog.

    Take care and know you are in many prayers.

    God Bless You
     
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  8. lisaviolet

    lisaviolet DIS Veteran

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    Rodeo. :hug:

    -----------

    I am so sorry about your dog. Sigh. Just wanted to add something, whenever the time comes for your decision. I chose to use a veterinarian at home this time. And although it is never easy either way, I can't even express how much of a difference it meant to me, then and now (and hopefully for my cat). It has surprised me. She is/was unbelievable in the level of comfort she gave us. That made a horrid time and decision bearable.

    Anyway, thank you for writing. Think about you often. :hug:
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2018
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  9. rodeo65

    rodeo65 DIS Veteran

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    Another loss. And a hard one because he was DH's dog. I mean he was a family dog, of course, but really attached to DH. I called the vet yesterday morning and described the situation. They booked an appointment for 4:45 yesterday afternoon and said we could talk to the vet and she'd give her opinion.

    The kids both stayed home from school to spend the day with him. His name was Dash - DD chose him as a puppy and DS named him. It was in 2004 when The Incredibles had come out. We bought Dash a chicken leg, put the little dogs upstairs for the day and just spent the day spoiling him. When the time came and we walked him outside to get into the car, DS took him into the forest beside us. He was excited and a little bouncy to go in there. DD asked if maybe we should not keep the vet appointment and maybe get him moving more. He's been basically lying on his bed and going outside for quick jaunts. I said we'd see what the vet said and if there was any way he'd be comfortable for a while longer we'd try it, but we all agreed we didn't want him to be in pain anymore.

    The kids lifted him into the car, but weren't able to get him out. One of the techs was able to lift him by himself, so he carried him in. They had a room ready with a blanket and we did the paperwork and then waited for the vet. Dash was pretty agitated and panting from the trip and being carried in. The vet came in and we discussed what all had been going on with him. She said all the signs pointed to this being the time, the biggest one being that he wasn't eating in the mornings. She said when a Labradoodle refused food, there was definitely something wrong inside.

    Originally, we had planned to stay while the first shot was administered but not stay for the final shot. He didn't completely settle, though, with the sedation. He kept his head up even when his eyes were half closed. DD then said she didn't want to leave him like that and wanted to stay through the end, DS said the same so we did. Fortunately, he had gone to the bathroom before we left so there was no final release, and it was very fast. We stayed with him for a while after as we did with DH and all said we thought they were together again, playing chuck-it and running pain free.

    A bigger hole was ripped in our family last night. I really can't wait for this year to be over.
     
  10. dazedx3

    dazedx3 Mouseketeer

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    I'm so sorry. I hope you can take some comfort from the thoughts of Dash being with your husband. Your family deserves a break, I hope the move and the new year bring you peace.
     
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  11. Southernmiss

    Southernmiss I am hazed everyday

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    :grouphug: so sorry. Not easy to lose another family member.
     
  12. ronandannette

    ronandannette I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!

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    Grace and peace to you and the kids, Rodeo. :flower3:
     
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  13. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

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    Teary reading this update. I love your family! I would've handled it the same way, I think. Never an easy thing to do. I also believe they are now together again.

    IMG_0940.JPG
     
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  14. Dan Murphy

    Dan Murphy We are family.

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    Rodeo, Dash is with your husband now, for sure. :hug:'s

    And remember, he will be there at the Bridge, playing, waiting......



    [​IMG]Rainbow Bridge [​IMG]



    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.

    Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.


    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
    Author unknown...

    www.petloss.com

    www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html





    .
     
  15. lisaviolet

    lisaviolet DIS Veteran

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    Rodeo, I am so very sorry. Love sent to all of you.

    Lisa
     
  16. rodeo65

    rodeo65 DIS Veteran

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    I love Rainbow Bridge, Dan, and have used it a lot talking to the kids. With our last dog when it was her turn - the kids were 11 and 12 then, and again now. We were trying to figure out how it went when the human left first. DH loved dogs, so maybe he just hung out there waiting and playing until Dash got there.

    There was a period while Dash was sedated but not yet asleep and before the final shot was administered when he stared at one spot for a while and stopped panting. I thought it was the sedation working, but the kids thought maybe Dad was there waiting for Dash and he saw him. I like that better so I went with it. I actually thought of you then, Pea and wondered about the book you suggested that I haven't yet bought. I still plan to when we get settled at my parents'.

    ETA - I read an article by a vet this past year talking about the sadness she felt at having to handle the final moments with pets who have been left by their owners who couldn't handle the grief in the moment. This coloured my decision to stay while he was sedated and why we waited until the end when that wasn't enough to calm him. My very first dog, I left because I didn't think I could face it. I'm so glad that Dash's last moments were spent feeling our hands petting him as he went.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2018
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  17. superme80

    superme80 DIS Veteran

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    I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through this year. :hug:
     
  18. flyingdumbo127

    flyingdumbo127 DIS Veteran

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    Aw, I'm so sorry Rodeo. Teary also reading your kids' suggestion (I love it and in my heart know it is true) that their Dad was waiting for his doggie buddy. They are both at peace forever with God and as the Rainbow Bridge poem states you will all be reunited one day. God Bless All of You and peace.
     
  19. minniecarousel

    minniecarousel Chris Isaak fan

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    Awwww.......I knew you knew this was coming, but dang! I’m so sorry for this loss too. You guys have been through so much. The 3 of you are a very strong family. Don’t lose sight of that.
     
  20. PollyannaMom

    PollyannaMom I was a click-clack champ!!

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    :sad1: :hug:
     
  21. lynxstch

    lynxstch I Love Figment

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    rodeo65--
    I am so very sorry for the loss of Dash. What you said here---
    "ETA - I read an article by a vet this past year talking about the sadness she felt at having to handle the final moments with pets who have been left by their owners who couldn't handle the grief in the moment. This coloured my decision to stay while he was sedated and why we waited until the end when that wasn't enough to calm him. My very first dog, I left because I didn't think I could face it. I'm so glad that Dash's last moments were spent feeling our hands petting him as he went."

    made me tear up. I have always been with my furbabies as they took their last breaths on this earth. As I know in my heart that mine always knew, your Dash knew that you were right there with him. He felt your love sending him on his way to peace on the Rainbow Bridge.

    In time, may happy memories spent with him, replace some of the sadness you feel now. He was loved, he loved in return, and I believe that is all we can ask of our pets.

    You have had such a hard year, this is just another example of how strong and resilient you and your family are. I am so glad that you come back to your DIS family to share what has been happening,whether it be highs, or lows. Just keep looking forward and I just know that you will find all find your way!
    Lynn
     
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