How does one choose a counselor?

[Maleficent13]

I considered signing on as an alias, but what the heck...

I would like to know how someone goes about finding a counselor? (Not marriage, just individual.) I have tried 2 based on recommendations and they have both been busts. I am about to pick someone randomly out of the phone book, but that seems not quite right either.

I just have some slightly neurotic tendencies to work out!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

My primary care physician recommended one to me. She was great, too. I think I need to go back though.

 

[mickeyboat]

Are you comfortable asking friends or co-workers for advice?

Did you like your obstetrician? Maybe he or she could recommend someone.

Denae

 

[tiggersmom2]

I remember what happened when you used an alias before.......


Sorry, had to share.

 

[Maleficent13]

TG2! Yeah, I figured it would happen again, so I might as well just put it all out there!

One of the recommendations was from my doc, the other from a family member. I have asked friends, and none of them are in counseling (healthy SOBs!! )

 

[MickeysMommy]

Oh, honey, maybe you and I should just get together for drinks and that would be enough counseling for both of us!

I would go with a recommendation from your physician. Good Luck, Mal.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

TG2! Yeah, I figured it would happen again, so I might as well just put it all out there!

One of the recommendations was from my doc, the other from a family member. I have asked friends, and none of them are in counseling (healthy SOBs!! )

Damn them for not being screwed up!!!!

 

[In a hurry]

I went thru a couple of counselors before I found the right match. They were all recommended. I wound up with one recommended by the funeral home. The two others were from friends. I think now, I would try my ob/gyn if I were looking, because she is my favorite doc.

I wish you the best. Hope all works out for you.

 

[Rajah]

I can recommend a great one here in Clear Lake Texas -- but that might be a bit far. LOL!

I found her by reading her list of qualifications on our EAP website and pretty much just picked her at random.

 

[In a hurry]

I have asked friends, and none of them are in counseling (healthy SOBs!! )

I was thinking...liars!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have heard that a person should look for a behavioral counselor (at least I think that's what they are called). I believe that they will help a person really work on and change the issues and not just talk about what's bothering you. I'm no expert, however, so take this with a grain of salt!

And I agree with the no alias. I'm too stupid for aliases and would forget and sign in with my other screen name, anyway.

 

[Maleficent13]

Interesting, Tigger&Belle...I had not heard of that. I need to do some investigation.

Re: the alias...that is exactly what happened to me last time I tried one. Hard to be stealthy when you forget who you are!

 

[beckmrk04]

I just wanted to say that I think it's funny that you were going to use an alias.

I went to a psychiatrist due to some issues with my depression meds, and I was so embarrassed to tell people, but I kept thinking, why am I embarrassed for getting help? BTW- he found a better dose for me with tolerable side effects much quicker than my primary dr!

There is still such a stigma about counseling and therapy. But- I say good for you. We all have "issues." SOME of us are just willingto admit it and try to figure ourselves out!!

And, I am also looking for a different therapist. I worked at a therapy center, and all the therapists were going to therapists!! BUT, none of them could find one they liked. I just haven't "clicked" with mine. I feel like she's not telling me anything I don't already know.... SO, good luck!

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

Tigger&Belle is right - they're usually called Behavioral Counselors or Behavioral Therapists. Most clinics/hospitals have a Behavioral Medicine department (I worked in one for a while), so it's a great idea to ask your favorite physician to recommend someone. Once you find a clinic with a Behavioral Medicine department, then just try out the counselors until you find a good fit. Another place to ask is your church (if you attend one). Many churches have pastoral counselors who can refer you to Behavioral therapists as needed (pastoral counseling is different from regular therapy), and some churches now have regular therapists on their staff.

One thing I've learned from my time in counseling is that it often takes 3 or 4 visits before you can establish a good pattern of communication and trust. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to always allow 3 visits for checking out a church or a counselor - it gives you both time to get used to each other before you know for sure it's not the right fit. I now tell the counselor when I'm not sure this is clicking - sometimes I discover a new issue I need to deal with in my life, and sometimes they can help me figure out what it is I'm looking for and then point me in the right direction. One of the best therapists I worked with was a referal from another therapist!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

And you know why I've thought about this issue, because I've thought about going to see someone since I am also married to grumpy! Actually, I wouldn't mind grumpy himself going to see someone, but I don't know if that's going to happen.

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

And you know why I've thought about this issue, because I've thought about going to see someone since I am also married to grumpy! Actually, I wouldn't mind grumpy himself going to see someone, but I don't know if that's going to happen.

My "grumpy boy" (as I call DH ) has been to counseling once, years ago. I doubt I'll ever get him to go again, although I do tell him about the things I learn when I go! I've been in counseling off and on for various family issues over the years, and I always find it helpful to talk it out with someone and get a reality check when life is crazy or I am! Plus it helps me deal with grumpy boy when he's in his most grumpy, cranky, Eeyore, curmudgeonly moods and love him anyway...