How does a mother hold her frustration?

[MinnieLee]

Guess after over 50+ trips to WDW, my DD thinks she and her friends know it all & I know nothing!!! According to her, the friends are BIG Disney people. Here are a couple of our conversations. Now I just have to vent.

DH and I were so excited when she told in told us in February that they would be going with friends of theirs and that we would be spending time with them and our 5 year old grandson. They will need two studios. We are arriving 10/31, they are arriving on 11/2.

It starts in May when I asked her where she was staying. Answer - Boardwalk. Did you make reservations? We have time, we are staying on DVC points. No, you need to book that way in advance. It's the F&W and close to Epcot. Well, needless to say, they could not get into BWV-no surprise. They are in Saratoga Spring we are at BCV. I had booked DH and my reservations at the 11 month mark.

Now I ask her many,many times if she wants to go to BOG with us. Explain I am booking at the 180 day mark. Hard restaurant to get Into, yadda, yadda. "We don't know what we are doing yet". I book our BOG reservations for 11/8. Don't you know the next day she decides to come with us. I tell her to call and see if she can add on to our reservations. Guess what - booked solid.

Now we get into magic bands. Did you set anything up yet? No. You can link everything up to the bands. No, I don't think it's worth it. That changes a bit later to dd has the app that is under the friends name. Do you have your own account. You can link to her since you have your own confirmation number. No,I have plenty of time. We are not leaving for awhile. I have until 10/1 to customize my bands and then they are going to be shipped. OK, maybe tonight I'll set it up.

We finally meet the friend and she does not even know about magic bands. DD does not think it's right that you can do FP+ before you even get there. How do you know where you want to go, what about the people who don't know about magic bands and want fast passes?

Ok, we have tickets for MVMCP for 11/8. Parade is at 8:15. They decide to go to BOG and when are the reservations -right when the parade is. No wonder they got reservations! Did they think that the kids would like to see the parade? Oh, we can go outside and watch the parade. The parade does not go near the restaurant. Oh.

There are other things but I don't want to write a novel. I guess I just needed to vent. We are going to have a lot of fun and we already explained to them that we would not be spending every day with them as we have friends that we meet every year and are also friends with a cast member that we are going to have dinner with. We are also going one day to US and they have no desire to do that. We offered to take our grandson one evening so they could have a nice dinner.

I know that we are going to have a fantastic time. I feel a little better now!

 

[DisneyNDecember]

Bless your heart, I hear your frustration.

That is why I love just myself & my son going to DW.
When you get a large group of people & folks that are not "in the know", your vacation starts to be a chore & not rewarding & relaxing in my opinion.

I suggest that you do what you want & invite them along & if they want to join in, great, if not, you know your plans/strategy (as most Dis Buddies do) & you have a great time. You are deserving of a nice relaxing vacation & just let the other travelling buddies choose their own route.

 

[minnie mum]

There comes a time in every parent's life when they have to cut the umbilical cord and let their children make their own decisions, for better or worse.

Sounds like that time has arrived for you. Plan YOUR vacation how you want to. Go and have a wonderful time. Offer your advice WHEN you're asked for it. And try not to bite your tongue off the rest of the time. (spoken from experience) BTDT

 

[smcabee]

Just make sure you make a note of this experience for when her children are grown and she is saying "mom I tried to tell them how to go to disney but they just wont listen." You have the perfect I told you so moment.

 

[wendybeth75]

Bless your heart, I hear your frustration.

That is why I love just myself & my son going to DW.
When you get a large group of people & folks that are not "in the know", your vacation starts to be a chore & not rewarding & relaxing in my opinion.

I suggest that you do what you want & invite them along & if they want to join in, great, if not, you know your plans/strategy (as most Dis Buddies do) & you have a great time. You are deserving of a nice relaxing vacation & just let the other travelling buddies choose their own route.

I agree. With Disney there is so much plannng involved that if everyone is not on the same page then it makes it miserable. Even for my family of 4 we have "disney" meetings where everyone picks a favorite TS and we book our meals. I hope that you are able to have a fun trip. It may work out better than you aren't spending every moment of everyday together .

 

[GotLabradors]

There comes a time in every parent's life when they have to cut the umbilical cord and let their children make their own decisions, for better or worse.

Sounds like that time has arrived for you. Plan YOUR vacation how you want to. Go and have a wonderful time. Offer your advice WHEN you're asked for it. And try not to bite your tongue off the rest of the time. (spoken from experience) BTDT

This. My DH and 2 kids have never been to WDW. We are discussing a trip next fall, but as we started talking about it, DH got WDW overload. He had no idea everything that was involved in planning such a trip for 6 days. IF we end up going, I know that I will plan it all.

 

[TyWebb]

Sounds like it might be a problem but I'm not sure what a DD is?
Or a DH?
Or BCV?
Or BOG?

Pretty much all Greek to me?

 

[Micca]

How does a mother hold her frustrations?

Hostage in their rooms until they clean that mess up!

 

[Roccosmom]

Sounds like it might be a problem but I'm not sure what a DD is?
Or a DH?
Or BCV?
Or BOG?

Pretty much all Greek to me?

You're new- you'll catch on to some of the common abbreviations soon!

DD- Dear Daughter
DH- Dear Husband
BCV- Beach Club Villas
BOG- Be Our Guest (restaurant in Fantasyland- Magic Kingdom)

Here is a link to more abbreviations- hope it helps!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1660743

 

[karenklo]

We had a family trip this past July. Now I worked at WDW in the CP,have been to WDW a few times and been on this board since 2003. I think I have a fair idea of what I am doing! My father was questioning me as to what rides were where, how best to get FPs and making ADR for a party of 8. He even questioned when I said we could just do child swap for a few rides my little niece did not want to ride. It was making me nuts! I was able to show him have one person run for a FP makes sense instead of dragging 4 kids across the park. I am a planner and had down what days we were going to each park. We actually had a great time because everyone kind of just went with the flow of where we needed to be. Planning is everything if you have certain things you want to do! I know you will have a great time-and they may even have a great time as long as what they are missing isn't important to them.

 

[Catrinabeach]

Thankfully my kids know when it comes to Disney Mom knows. They want me to book everything and just tell them what when they need to know.

I even have friends now that ask me when they start to plan.

 

[ttintagel]

I guess the hard part is not saying, "I told you so!"

 

[justcruisin]

Just smile and nod... just smile and nod

 

[carrie1626]

Sounds like it might be a problem but I'm not sure what a DD is?
Or a DH?
Or BCV?
Or BOG?

Pretty much all Greek to me?

Somewhere on the DIS is a list of all abbreviations.

DD is a Disney DAUGHTER therefore DS, DH, and DW are son, husband, wife

BWV is BoardWalk Villas BCV is BeachClub Villas

BOG is the new restaurant: BE OUR GUEST

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Guess after over 50+ trips to WDW, my DD thinks she and her friends know it all & I know nothing!!! According to her, the friends are BIG Disney people. Here are a couple of our conversations. Now I just have to vent.

DH and I were so excited when she told in told us in February that they would be going with friends of theirs and that we would be spending time with them and our 5 year old grandson. They will need two studios. We are arriving 10/31, they are arriving on 11/2.

It starts in May when I asked her where she was staying. Answer - Boardwalk. Did you make reservations? We have time, we are staying on DVC points. No, you need to book that way in advance. It's the F&W and close to Epcot. Well, needless to say, they could not get into BWV-no surprise. They are in Saratoga Spring we are at BCV. I had booked DH and my reservations at the 11 month mark.

Now I ask her many,many times if she wants to go to BOG with us. Explain I am booking at the 180 day mark. Hard restaurant to get Into, yadda, yadda. "We don't know what we are doing yet". I book our BOG reservations for 11/8. Don't you know the next day she decides to come with us. I tell her to call and see if she can add on to our reservations. Guess what - booked solid.

Now we get into magic bands. Did you set anything up yet? No. You can link everything up to the bands. No, I don't think it's worth it. That changes a bit later to dd has the app that is under the friends name. Do you have your own account. You can link to her since you have your own confirmation number. No,I have plenty of time. We are not leaving for awhile. I have until 10/1 to customize my bands and then they are going to be shipped. OK, maybe tonight I'll set it up.

We finally meet the friend and she does not even know about magic bands. DD does not think it's right that you can do FP+ before you even get there. How do you know where you want to go, what about the people who don't know about magic bands and want fast passes?

Ok, we have tickets for MVMCP for 11/8. Parade is at 8:15. They decide to go to BOG and when are the reservations -right when the parade is. No wonder they got reservations! Did they think that the kids would like to see the parade? Oh, we can go outside and watch the parade. The parade does not go near the restaurant. Oh.

There are other things but I don't want to write a novel. I guess I just needed to vent. We are going to have a lot of fun and we already explained to them that we would not be spending every day with them as we have friends that we meet every year and are also friends with a cast member that we are going to have dinner with. We are also going one day to US and they have no desire to do that. We offered to take our grandson one evening so they could have a nice dinner.

I know that we are going to have a fantastic time. I feel a little better now!

I think most of us know someone who doesn't see the value in planning ahead. I just go along with them & keep the fact that they could be doing things more efficiently to myself. That's easier for me, because I live so close to the parks & can go anytime. When it comes down to it, I think your DD makes a good argument. You shouldn't need to plan every minute down to when you're going to ride which ride, before you ever leave home. IMHO, Disney is getting ridiculous in the amount of planning they want people to do ahead of time. We all claim to do it in order to have a stress free trip. (Let's be honest. We're mostly addicted to the DIS. ) Does all the advance planning really guarantee one? I've come to the conclusion that those who do no advance planning & just take everything as it comes have a less stressful trip. Those who plan every minute expect more out of it. It needs to be "practically perfect in every way" to live up to the expectations.

 

[TDC Nala]

The above is true. But if you want Boardwalk during food and wine, then you must book it early. If you want Be Our Guest you have to book it immediately as soon as reservations open. If you want to see the Halloween Party parade, you don't want to plan to be inside a restaurant across the park at the time it starts. That's just how it is.

Smile and nod is going to be the best you can do, while you walk back to Boardwalk from Epcot or DHS and they are going off to wait in line for the bus.

 

[luvmy3]

There comes a time in every parent's life when they have to cut the umbilical cord and let their children make their own decisions, for better or worse.

Or, there comes a time in every Disney parent's life where they have to cut the cord and let their children do Disney they way they want too

OP, I'm sure you will all have a wonderful time!

 

[RedHeadedFairy]

Just smile and nod... just smile and nod

This ^^

I went through this with my mom & sister for our trip last May. I got a lot of shoulder shrugging, gentle eye rolling & "it's no big deal" kind of attitude from them. I started to get frustrated because I know they were thinking that it's just me wanting to control everything and making it all a bigger deal than it was. I pulled back, made it CLEAR that we have our way of doing things & an agenda & while they were welcome to join us they could & should certainly go their own way at times.

By the mid of the 3rd day my sister came to me & apologized (which I thought was pretty big of her actually). She admitted that she hadn't understood the scope of the parks, the sheer size of everything, the timing on making reservations & distance to travel to MAKE those ressies on time, how to use transportation & how overwhelming it is to be making every single decision on the fly when you aren't a Disney veteran with tons of trips under your belt. Now she understood that all of MY planning was simply the nuts & bolts that help us accomplish our priorities & still have a lot of room for spontaneity & adjustments. In reality I wasn't planning a commando trip AT ALL, there is just THAT MUCH planning involved in the basics of putting a trip to Disney together.

Don't sweat it - go, have fun & remember not to laugh AT them when they are melting down in the parks because they are unprepared.

 

[numberonenole]

I feel bad for your grandson.

 

[asmit4]

My mom and I went along with many other family members in 2007....I had everything planned for my mom and I. NOBODY else in the group had any plans and didn't want to plan. My mom and I followed our plan. Meanwhile everyone else waited in line for 90 minutes for things like Peter Pan....we had dinner ressies for top restaurants and when they walked in and ASKED for a reservation THAT DAY and wanted a table IMMEDIATELY- they were turned away- no room for you- not tonight and not for the entire week

I spent the trip rubbing it in. Sorry but I was RIGHT and you were WRONG. Now you are stuck with QS dining and having to wait in horrid lines for EVERY ride. TOO BAD you should have listened. Rubbing it in helped me get over my anger. Not a nice thing to do? NOPE it wasn't. But they were azzes over the entire planning stages...so that's what they get!