How do you stop young kids from being wasteful?

[Margie J]

Here's the situation, with some background:

The young daughter (4) of one of my co-workers comes to the office each night after day care. She's a sweet little girl and loves to play while here. However, her parents don't have much control over her and she's getting more "outspoken" since her baby brother came along. Her parents often complain that they have to plead with her to get her to go to bed (before midnight), eat what's served, put her coat on when it's 0 degrees out, etc.

Now, for my part. Everyone around here has been fighting colds so I placed a box of Kleenex on my desk. Well, this little girl came over to play and wanted a Kleenex. No problem. She wiped off a couple drops from her nose and then tossed the tissue. Ok, good hygiene. Then, she quickly wanted another. Did the same thing. Then another. Before tossing I told her she could use it again but she just looked at me and tossed away the nearly clean tissue. She reached for another and again I said "you can use it again". This time I also explained that if she used up too many that other's won't have any and we all needed them. The tissue got tossed.

In the grand scheme of things, tissues don't cost that much and at least the kid does wipe her nose (though a few good blows with one tissue could have cleared out everything instead of the blot and toss method, IMO). This was becoming a wasteful game though. Aside from hiding the tissues from everyone, what can I say or do? If it's not tissues it will become something else that is the object of the "toss it" game.

What do I do or say? I can't set rules in her house but what about rules (within reason) when she's with me?

 

[Lewski709]

put all the tissues away but one, before she comes in

 

[NHAnn]

sorry double post!

 

[NHAnn]

triple???

 

[NHAnn]

I guess I don't really have any suggestions to post that would come across as sounding very helpful....I'd let her have a tissue or two upon request but refuse to play the "toss it" game.

I can't get past my amazement at some of the "background" info....the fact that a four year old can come into your work place on a regular basis to begin with...and is quickly learning that she can control not only her own household but the parents' workplace too.......sounds like adjustment-to- the- new-baby issues are getting out of hand.
I totally agree that you can't set the rules in her house. But why is a four year old controlling your workplace?

It sounds as though the parents need some guidance in helping her adjust and setting some limits, not sure it's your place as a co-worker to suggest that though. The tissues are jsut a symptom of a bigger issue IMHO.
Good luck with the whole situation!

 

[CEDmom]

It sounds like this child isn't having any boundaries set at home. My DD is also 4 and like any 4 yo gets out of hand at times but we nip that behavior in the bud and all is right with the world again. I'd start by setting a tissue limit. Let the child know how many she will be allowed to have and after that put them away. It may sound really silly but when she figures out she can't do/get everything she wants her bahavior might change. She needs someone to say "no" to her. I think her parents really need some help in dealing with her.

 

[Margie J]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I didn't initially consider the "setting limits" situation but it's clear to me now that is what's really going on here. Her parents set none or few limits but I can, in a nice way of course. BTW, the parents (especially Dad) has always been amazed that his DD does what her daycare teachers ask of her but not what he asks her to do. Of course, he will whine to her to "please do XYZ" then . The DD never does what is asked because the tone doesn't mean business. She also tells her parents to "keep quiet" when they are trying to talk to me or other adults and she wants full attention. The baby DS issue has definitely made this worse.

I suppose this is the age when kids will take a huge plate of food and eat one bite, use a 1/2 roll of TP each time they go to the bathroom, stay up until 2AM if you let them, etc. It's a test of limits, control and independence.

Anyway, I've now placed the tissue box on a high shelf that the adults can reach. I will dole them out to the little girl so that I can control what she takes and will set a limit.

 

[clh2]

I'm not sure where to start. Although as the mom of a DD who is almost 10 - we had the "I don't want to wear a coat outside when it is 5 below zero" argument last night. I won that one. Normally, she gets the point of the discussion a little earlier than she did last night.

Of course - I have questions...questions...questions...

Don't you wonder why the parents can't just be parents?

Can the 4yo go get a tissue from her parent's desk? I am assuming you bought yours.

Where are the parents during all this?

Don't the parents bring something for her to do? I would use this opportunity to have my child "do work in a special coloring book" while I was working. Children love to feel important - this would be a perfect thing to do! They would have a job like mom! Maybe the child could be given a job to make pretty pictures for the parent's desk?

How long do you need to put up with this everyday? Sounds pretty annoying.

Several jobs ago, I had an opportunity to bring my DD (5 at the time) to work for 1/2 day. She was such a PITA, that I gave her the boot. She was back in daycare after about 1 hour. Of course, if she is not behaving appropriately for any function we are at, we will leave. Period.

What does the boss say about all this?

There are many things the parents can do to help promote effecient use of products, whether it is kleenex, running water, paper or anything else. However, as the posts state, this isn't the issue as much as the control is.