Some of the things he does are very dangerous and I am not sure how to stop them but I know they must stop before we visit Disney in April.
You probably can't stop these things before April, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go...Read onward...
As a teacher, I will tell you it's important to stand up to temper tantrums. Flat out giving in teaches the child that tantrums are an effective tool - and will reinforce the idea of having them. It will take time to un-teach this behavior! Trust is going to be a gradual process for both of you.
On the flip side, escalating them is the second worst thing you can do. More often that not, the best thing to do is to stroke the child and REMAIN calm. Never put the child down, never give up on the child. Never give the direct or indirect message that thie child is inferior, damaged goods, stupid, etc. 99% or the time I see kids who fail, I have a parent conference and the parent puts the child down repeatedly. You must show repeatedly that you believe in this child and his/her potential. Physical contact is the best way to calm downa child like this. As a teacher, I'm not really allowed to touch my students and it is a huge hadicap. This sort of thing really must be done my theparents.
Try getting some good books on the subject. I can't tell you which books were most helpful to my sister, but she read everything (plus, the more the chld sees you reading, the more they will learn by example to love reading! this goes for ther habits as well. Now is good time to curb any bad habits you have.)
The other really important thing about tantrums is that many parents threaten somethign they have no intention of following through with. "If you don't stop, we're going to leave WDW right now and go home! " Yeah, right. The kid quickly learns that you are lying, and if you do follow through it's bad for all. If yo must punish, do so in small steps. REWARDING positive behavior with treats is FAR more effective. "Treats" need not be candy or gifts. They can be small stickers (ona chart even) or priveleges ("If you are good, I'll take you to the playground after." When the child messes up, don't say, "NO playground for you." Say, "oh, you're forgetting about that playground trip we're going to take."
Always try to talk in the positive! Diffusing a tense situation with laughter is also VERY effective.
My nephew shared very similar traits to the young man you describe. My sister had to work very hard on her patience, she also got good at running after him and not yelling at him when she caught him, but calmly finding out why he ran. Another thing that helped was taking a half dose of medication. she put him on half the dose suggested by the doctor, and that little bit helped him. She also ALWAYS supported him at school. She fought for him to have an IEP at school. If you don't know what that means, learn about it. As a teacher, I can tell you, many educators are not very wise when it comes to behavioral issues. We are trained in our subject areas, but we're asked to be social workers and psychologists. I can even tell you about counselors and special ed teachers that refused to deal with behavioral issues in their charges.
Last, there is lots of hope. My nephew is a straight A student now! Lots of kids who start off with disabilities find a way to succeed - if they get support. Often the people who struggle the most initially end up wih the greatest success. It's hard to say this compactly, but take for example a student who is blind but develops great hearing - well above the average. Most of the world's Nobel Prize winners are kids who overcame ADD - or something similar. If the brain can find an alternate way to do something, it may well find a more effective method (they have actually shown this with brain scans) I'm getting way off topic now, but simply put, all of my favorite students have usually been the ones who initially challenged me the most. One of the most effectively social students I ever had was a kid who started off with a severe speech impediment!
One of the best ways to help him overcome these thigns is to give him chances for success (rather than isolating or punishing him) He isn't TRYING to be difficult. No child WANTS to be unsuccessful. Keep reminding yourself of that.
"Success is failure turned inside out!" A good mantra for anyone. Most of the Fortune 500 are not folks who were sucessful the first time out, but folks who did not give up after initial failures.
My sister took my nephew to WDW MANY times. She swears it was one of the best things she ever did. WDW stimulates their senses, which can help a child like that to actually calm down. My nephew had a speech delay, but ever trip to WDW brought big improvements.
WhenI first started teaching, I was very reluctant to tkae field trips with the type of child you describe. I actually never had a problem with a kid on a field trip. When they are out of their element, they will surprise you. In fact, often the reverse has happened. Field trips showed that I trusted these kids, and after, we bonded ina special way.* Despite it's size, WDW is actually very safe. They have security cameras everywhere. Do keep a photo of your child on you at all times (good advice for any parent) Do take a picture of your child each morning if you ahve a digital camera. Do teach your child (as he gets older) - if he gets lost, he should return to the last place he saw you. (rahter than staying still, if he's wandered off). DO teach your child his adress and phone number as soon as possible. I am floored by the number of MIDDLE school kids I've seen who can't recite their entire address and phone number!!!!!!!!!! YIKES!!!
). Most of the kids I've seen using them have seemed perfectly fine, most of them don't even seem to have noticed!
), and hopefully he'll eventually get to the stage where he'll keep hold of your hand without the leash.
