How do you respond to rude invitations?

[Brenle]

I remember reading that thread also.

That answers a lot of questions.

Ditto. Ditto.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

AND.....it's okay to have a shower for each wedding you have.

Why do I suddenly have the image of Candace and Vanessa from Phineas and Ferb bouncing around singing BUSTED?

 

[Brenle]

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

For Princess G's sake I hope you are correct.

 

[clutter]

I remember reading that thread also.

That answers a lot of questions.

Primarily, it answers the reason that the shower is being held when OP is out of town!

 

[marlynnp]

I just think it's tacky how her sister wrote it. They have no class or finesse this family. I HATE greeting cards. They end up lost or in a shoe box in my house so I requested that people buy a children's book equivalent to the price of the card and write their message in there.

Either way i'm not going because we are leaving for a cruise that week.

First, I don't consider a meet & greet AFTER the birth to be a 'shower'.

Now, I'll address your last post point by point:

I just think it's tacky how her sister wrote it. Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but you do know what they say about them, right?

They have no class or finesse this family. Pot meet kettle.

I HATE greeting cards. They end up lost or in a shoe box in my house so I requested that people buy a children's book equivalent to the price of the card and write their message in there. Say what? You told people what they should buy, get the heck out! You mean to tell me, you let people know that one item would be more useful than another? You've already said that's tacky and not allowed. I am so confused.

Either way i'm not going because we are leaving for a cruise that week.
I hope you have fun. (could we please have details as to which week and ship you will be on?)

 

[RunningGirl]

For Princess G's sake I hope you are correct.

Sincerely.

 

[2disneyboys]

Primarily, it answers the reason that the shower is being held when OP is out of town!

LOL, thats what I thought... I have a certian family member that I DREAD inviting to stuff, but sometimes just feel like I have to.. I feel like a detective sometimes trying to 'sniff' out other plans this family member has, so that the event can occur smack in the middle... I'm sorry dear your not going to be able to make it... we'll miss you I know, I'm a bad bad person...

I'm thinking the timing of the shower and the cruise is NOT a coincidence!

 

[design_mom]

The bolded part is what made me Was she expressing milk in their driveway? How ON EARTH does one leave a breast pump outside, much less in the direct line of someone's vehicle?! I suppose she could have had it in a travel bag and set it down - but still, to walk off and forget it? LOL

I think I can imagine what happened here: Family was going on a trip. Wife was packing and husband was supposed to load the car. Wife wanted to make sure that the pump wasn't forgotten, so she put it right behind the car on the ground where it couldn't possibly be missed when packing. Husband decides he'll back the car out of the garage first, then pack it in the driveway (more room to maneuver). Squish.

Want to ask me about the nice, compact travel stroller I bought for our 2003 WDW trip? Now I put everything in the living room and it's DH's job to carry it out.

My mother strongly disagrees with second showers. I don't have a problem with them.

I think the FB invitation sounds pretty informal, but it sounds like a pretty informal event, too. Go or don't go, but I wouldn't be offended.

I would take "mom could use diapers" as a suggestion. It's probably tacky, as is listing the registry, but -- hey, at least you know what she needs.

The other thing to consider is that the mother of the baby might not have any idea what was requested. My "shower" was a surprise. My cousin's wife planned it and I didn't know anything about it (I really do not care to be the center of attention). My mother told me we were "going shopping" and took me to the shower instead. Because I love to read, my cousin's wife requested everyone bring a book to start DS's library. I think she intended for people to bring *only* a book... but people brought a book and a gift. I hope nobody thought I was rude. I had no clue.

 

[Charitycase20]

I pretty much agree to most everyone on this thread...I didn't find the invite tacky..since it was sent on FB, it was meant to be casual anyway IMO. I DONT see what the OP has her knickers in a twist about since she won't be in town that day anyway...
But I do have a thought about the ran over breastpump and having one on a registry to replace it...maybe she is going to replace it herself...I know that some places...Target/TRU...when you create a registry with them you get a discount on what wasn't purchased for you, something like 10%-15% off. So maybe she is just trying to save a little cash when she doesn buy it!

Just a random thought!

 

[kymmyk13]

Ok this is really going to upset some folks, I had 3 baby showers for my 2nd DD. As you can see my DD's are 14 years apart and I did not have anything left from the first one. So, My office gave me a shower (they gave one to everyone did not matter how many you already had), My friends gave me one and my older DD's Girl Scout troop gave me one- they had a a blast it helped them finish up a badge and this one was a complete surprise

 

[Scurvy]

Ok this is really going to upset some folks, I had 3 baby showers for my 2nd DD. As you can see my DD's are 14 years apart and I did not have anything left from the first one. So, My office gave me a shower (they gave one to everyone did not matter how many you already had), My friends gave me one and my older DD's Girl Scout troop gave me one- they had a a blast it helped them finish up a badge and this one was a complete surprise

I don't think most people consider multiple showers for the same child to be that big of a deal, as long as no one is invited to more than one of them. And even those who frown on showers for multiple children usually understand having them when there's a large age difference involved. So you're probably okay. But no more showers for you!

 

[LBIJim]

The title to your thread is "How do you respond to rude invitations?"

If I got an invitation I considered rude, I most likely wouldn't bother responding at all. No RSVPing regrets, just ignoring it.

I don't find your SIL's invite rude. Maybe tacky. If you're bothered by the nature of the invite, just ignore it or decline to go. No explanation needed. If questioned about it later, just say you are/were unable to attend.

Jim

 

[minniecarousel]

For family, I always give a gift. I'd have asked what they need, so it wouldn't bother me if they jumped the gun & told me what they'd like.

 

[goofyernmost]

The baby is not born.

Denise in MI

Yes, she is...this is a meet and greet.

The point I'd like to make here is that this was never mentioned or intended to be a "shower". Where did that come from.

Based on the other information accumulated this is a bogus complaint made by a very insecure person. Let it go! The baby and the SIL is way better off without them attending.

 

[Suellen]

Here's my two cents:

I'd be happy to be invited to meet a new little family member

I'd be happy I knew exactly what to show up with instead of guessing and guessing wrong Ideas are ALWAYS welcome.

You requested people bring books instead of greeting cards? I'm sure the prices were close

Diapers I don't have to buy are always a blessing. Even though we can afford them ~ it doesn't mean I enjoy spending the money on such a mundane item. Especially if I have a whole closet full of clothes I know the kiddo won't get to wear because they grow too fast to wear em all.

To an honestly rude invitation ~ I'd just politely decline and complain about it to my DH during our evening regrouping conversations and then forget about it.

 

[Ember]

Decline the invitation and move on. Some people have no problem using their children as an excuse to demand gifts, even going so far as to dictate what gifts are acceptable. While some people find this "helpful" others find in demanding and entitled. I find it terribly sad that people have reduced the great events in their lives to nothing more than a transaction of gifts, where they set the price and expect everyone to pay up. Perhaps this mother should have considered that she needed diapers before procreating, rather than expecting her friends and family to provide them.

*Sigh*

I would like to apologize for the tone and mean comment at the end of my post. I thought about it later today and realized how harsh it was. My DH has close family in critical condition in the hospital. It's been less than a year since losing my mom and I'm not handling it very gracefully, I'm afraid. I think I was letting out a lot of frustration/anger/hurt that had nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I have no issue with celebrating subsequent births, and think every child should be celebrated. I do think it's rude to tell people what to bring to any event because it assumes a gift and it is not the job of the recipient to select their gifts. It's a personal pet peeve of mine the people seem so focused on gifts these days. But I could have said it in a much nicer way.

 

[Suellen]

*Sigh*

I would like to apologize for the tone and mean comment at the end of my post. I thought about it later today and realized how harsh it was. My DH has close family in critical condition in the hospital. It's been less than a year since losing my mom and I'm not handling it very gracefully, I'm afraid. I think I was letting out a lot of frustration/anger/hurt that had nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I have no issue with celebrating subsequent births, and think every child should be celebrated. I do think it's rude to tell people what to bring to any event because it assumes a gift and it is not the job of the recipient to select their gifts. It's a personal pet peeve of mine the people seem so focused on gifts these days. But I could have said it in a much nicer way.

There's something you don't see a lot of here!

I also wanted to ask of those that think second children showers are tacky ~ do you think they are ALWAYS tacky? Or are there exceptions.

I ask because I had a second shower for a very specific reason I will share... I just want to see what some think first.

For the second shower we invited very specific people ~ it was small and lovely and both my mother and mother in law asked if it was okay with me before inviting people.

Now that I had one for each of my girls (they are 22 months apart too) I can't imagine not celebrating each of them with my family and friends in that girly baby shower celebration!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Didn't your daughter just turn one?

And maybe I'm mistaking you with someone else but didn't you recently post that you made a registry for your daughter's birthday? Many people would think that was tacky.

Yes, that is very tacky!

I would never spend $3-$5 on a greeting card and your telling me to bring a book instead would offend me much more than someone asking for diapers instead of clothing. You'd probably have gotten the book as your gift and that would be it.

I find this tacky too, but I would have bought a book as a gift.

OP, is this the same SIL you were upset with b/c they were having a baby girl & that would take attention from your "princess"? Is that the source of your feelings about the invite, that you really seem to dislike your in-laws?

Ding, Ding, Ding.... The OP is just jealous of this new baby. What a shame.

*Sigh*

I would like to apologize for the tone and mean comment at the end of my post. I thought about it later today and realized how harsh it was. My DH has close family in critical condition in the hospital. It's been less than a year since losing my mom and I'm not handling it very gracefully, I'm afraid. I think I was letting out a lot of frustration/anger/hurt that had nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I have no issue with celebrating subsequent births, and think every child should be celebrated. I do think it's rude to tell people what to bring to any event because it assumes a gift and it is not the job of the recipient to select their gifts. It's a personal pet peeve of mine the people seem so focused on gifts these days. But I could have said it in a much nicer way.

That was sweet of you to admit, and understandable.

I don't have a problem at all with second showers. I had one with my first & second child, but not my third because we lived so far away from family at that time. I think every birth is worth celebrating.

 

[aprilgail2]

So SIL's sister send this event invite over Facebook. And I quote:

Come enjoy brunch & relaxation to celebrate the arrival of our newest family member!!!! The new baby girl has plenty of clothes sizes 0-12 months, so if you could bring just a pack of diapers that would be such a blessing to them!.....She also has a small wishlist at Target

:

Well---since its just to meet the baby its really not a shower (though showers for second babys are tacky) and I would just bring them diapers if that is what they want. Typically people bring gifts when they come to see the baby for the first time anyway so just make them happy and bring diapers.