How do you really know ...

[canadianjovigirl]

My body decided it for me as both my girls were tough pregnancies with preterm labor and early deliveries and NICU stays so after the second one, when the specialist told me he wouldnt be able to get me past 28 weeks next time, i knew it was enough.....my heart could not stand to bear the death of an infant. I then had my tubes done when i was mid 30's, but we did adopt a boy who is in between our 2 girls and for now i am content with the 3, but if the desire is ever too great again i would not hesitate to adopt an older child again..................

To all those having difficulty - prayers for you and to those of you undecieded, remember its a decision only you can make

 

[AustinTink]

I have one beautiful son, the light of my life. I want nothing more than to give him a sibling, someone to be a support system for him when my husband and I are gone. My DH and I never intended to have an only child. But, after three miscarriages (the last one was in my second trimester) we feel like we are done.

We were traveling abroad when I miscarried at 14 weeks. We didn't go to the hospital, and I began to hemmorhage. It was the most horrific experience of my life. Yet, if some crystal ball could tell me everything would be fine with the next pregnancy I would try again. Alas, nobody can make that assurance and the risks are great for me at this point. So, we are done.

OP, I feel your pain. But, as one of the prior posters mentioned you have two healthy children. You have been blessed. I am, too.

 

[STLDisney_Freak]

I'm done because I know I love my sleep at night. I'm done because I don't wanna do deal with strollers, formula, diapers, and all of that stuff anymore. I was granted two beautiful girls after 4 years of infertililty and 1 loss. I do not wanna go through all of that over again.

 

[ReneeA]

I wonder if a huge part of that feeling is biology?

We spent 2 years trying to get pregnant - then I miscarried our first (a little girl) at 16 weeks. Went in for my regular check up and there was no heartbeat. That was in 7/2000.

I had no desire to try for another for awhile. My MIL became ill and had bypass surgery. She was in and out of consciousness, but talked constantly about "my little boy" and told everyone I was pregnant. I wasn't...I hadn't had a period since the miscarriage, and had just been to the doctor and had a pg test that was negative at that point. I went on Provera a week before she passed away so that I could start a period and start Chlomid and try again (kinda against my will - I was still grieving that first baby).

MIL died on Valentine's Day 2001, I didn't start a period even after taking the med, but didn't really start to think about it until much later because of all the trauma in the family then. By the time I went back to the OB, I wasn't feeling myself and was ready to try again. He took one look at me, and told me I needed a pg test. Turns out I was pregnant - all along. I had an ultrasound that day and found out Joseph was there. I was almost 14 weeks along, and starting to show. Turns out MIL was right. I pregnant all that time, and he was a boy. I still swear with all of my negative tests, she gave me that baby...especially since I didn't find out until after she died.

9 months after Joseph was born, I was pregnant with Juliana. She was a challenging baby, and is still ALOT of work. We decided when she was almost 2 that DH would get a vasectomy.

I'm really happy with our life right now - kids are healthy and fun. In alot of ways, it's so easy to be a family of 4. I have a new and challenging career that I love...and yet I still wonder if I was meant to have more kids.

 

[MosMom]

I just try to remember all the bad that comes along with the good and I get over it pretty fast. Blow outs, puking, screaming fits, stretch marks, morning sickness, varicose veins, getting peed on, cleaning high chairs, strollers, pack n plays, bottles, sore nipples, diaper bags, diapers, sippy cups....

It is nice to be free of that. As much as I love cuddling my babies, I'm glad they are older and more independent.

 

[EeyoreEma]

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I know I am so blessed with my sweet children - infertility and 3 miscarriages are definitely good reminders in that area. I know in my heart that a 4th miscarriage might break something in me. There's still that part of me that says if I did the recurrent loss testing, found out for sure what the problem was, I may try again. But I really don't think it would be that simple. I love my 2 blessings. I love my 3 I've got waiting for me in heaven. I've been praying about it, thinking a lot. God knows what His plan for me is, and I just need to trust in Him that He knows what I need more than I do. I think I'll still be sad for a while about saying goodbye to pregnancy and newborns, but I also do know that I'm not sure my heart could take being broken again with another loss. Anyways, thank you again for sharing.

 

[ZPT1022]

I'm not one of those happy glowy preggos, I'm bloaty, pukey, congested, and uncomfortable. I'm *not* going through this again! EVER! DH is going to get the big V when the baby's out and healthy.

This is me, although we didn't wind up waiting for baby to come before DH had the snip. This has been my worst pregnancy out of all my term pregnancies and I just could not go through it again. My doctor advises against me going through it again, DH says he doesn't want to see me going through it again, and honestly, I don't think I could do it another time, if it were anywhere near as bad as this has been. So, for my own physical and mental well being, this has to be it. DH has had his procedure and after baby is born I will be having the Essure and an ablation (to help with problems that partially contributed to my infertility problems). There will be no chance of having another one at that point. I feel a little bit sad as it is all so permanent and it seems weird to take all these steps to make it permanent, especially after everything we went through with infertility and losses, but I guess for us at least, it just reaches a point where you know enough needs to be enough.

 

[portocall]

I had three tough pregnancies and countless miscarriages. The last one did the doctor in. My body decided to go haywire. I had both cervical cancer and a pregnancy induced autoimmune disease that caused my blood to clot and TIA's. The cancer wasn't discovered until I was ten weeks pregnant and I was advised to abort the pregnancy. I didn't. I couldn't, I tried to hard to get pregnant in the first place. After baby number 3 was born, they did a biopsy they thought would be big enough to remove the cancer, but it wasn't so the doctor called and told me that I had three options, however, the option I would be taking was the hysterectomy because he wasn't going through another pregnancy like that with me (he actually left a vacation he was on early to come visit me in the hospital, a vacation he scheduled around what was supposed to be the birth day but things happened and it ended up being a week earlier than planned) I agreed with him and even though DH and I were throwing around the possiblilty of a fourth because we had all boys, I knew my body might actually kill me if we tried. I also didn't want my boys to think they weren't good enough that we had to keep going until we finally got a girl (which isn't the case, I had hoped for two boys and a girl as I prefered the idea of raising boys for some reason) Sure I was a little sad that the possibility of another was no longer an option, but I also know that I have grandchildren to look forward too in the the future. OP, good luck in whatever option you choose. We went through a lot to get pregnant with the third and DH was about ready to throw in the towel.