How do you politely decline if someone asks you for money?

[KatelynnsAuntie]

I am talking about the stranger that walks up to you and says they need money for the bus, etc. I don't mind giving to legitimate non-profits (I give to several through my work and several more on my own) but I am uncomfortable giving money to people who just walk up to me and ask for it. Who knows where it actually goes??? (Drugs, booze, etc. )

I don't know what's going on, but it's happening a lot to me recently. Maybe I just have one of those faces???

Anyway, how do you politely say no and not feel like a clod for saying no?

 

[DukeStreetKing]

You can either do what I do and just say no, or you can be very polite and tell that you don't have any discretionary cash to spare right now.

 

[smiley]

There have been several television and news reports regarding people who beg for money which show most of the people aren't even homeless. Last year while visiting a metropolitan city my family and I had a room 5 floors up overlooking an intersection. One night there were two guys who would ask the drivers for money every time the light turned red. Amazingly, most of the people gave them money, and one person even gave them a hamburger.

After about an hour of these two begging for money one of the guys jumped in a portico below the street level. He emerged about 2 minutes later dressed in really nice clothes carrying a leather satchel and walked away!!!! We just laughed and vowed never to give money to beggers again.

I politely decline and keep moving. My money is better spent giving directly to the homeless shelters.

 

[C.Ann]

I would politely say, "I'm sorry, but I don't carry cash on me these days.."

Actually there are lots of folks who don't!

 

[onecoolmama]

I always say, "I am really sorry I dont have any."

When I was young and religious, I use to keep McDonalds Coupons on me. When someone approached me, I would give them $3 in mcDonalds Money.

Now, I dont do that!

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Keep walking. If you are inclined you can say a prayer that the guy receives the blessings he needs in the future. If folks here ask for money for food I usually tell them where to find a church or shelter that I know provides meals.

I used to give to folks. There was a guy who wandered up to me in the parking lot of the grocery store on a Saturday morning and told me he had his kids at home and had nothing to feed them. Could I help him out? I had just come out of the grocery store and knew I had no $$ left (had to put a few items back ) and told him I could not help him. He started to walk away when I realized I could help him. I called him back and tried to hand him a bag containing cereal and bananas. He looked at me and said "I don't want that sh**!" I thought that maybe the hungry kids back at his apartment might want it--but thought better of mentioning it at that moment. Since then, I do not buy any of the stories. I did give to one guy who told me he did not want to BS me--he was about 80 cents short of buying a 40 ounce. I gave him the change I had in my pocket. Just goes to show that honesty will get you places!

 

[Pin Wizard]

True, C.Ann. Just the other day a friend of mine said he buys everything with a credit card here. Well, that explains his using a card to buy us 2 cups of coffee. I guess places take credit cards for everything these days. Hey...I had to make a copy of something at Kinko's. This month there is a 25 cent charge on my bill for that! Geez! I'm sure they must pay the bank a lot more than that for the "convenience." I'm surprised. If they would let me put money in the copier, it would be more logical in my book. But it's credit card or some card they have.

Oops...sorry, a little OT. Unfortunately, I just tell them no and shake my head. I've always had one of those faces...everyone approaches me. So I don't look them in the eye, say no, and shake my head. If I looked at them, I'd be the sucker to give it to them.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by IMGONNABE40!
I did give to one guy who told me he did not want to BS me--he was about 80 cents short of buying a 40 ounce. I gave him the change I had in my pocket. Just goes to show that honesty will get you places!

For some reason this reminded me of a guy in the parking lot at Publix that approached me. Slick...got me BEFORE I went in the store. Hmmm...knows what he's doing. Any way, he had on scrubs, his hair was disgusting, and he said he just got out of the hospital. I don't think I'm falling for that one. Although I once was released from the hospital in scrubs! Made him keep walking.

 

[BostonTigger]

I just keep walking and say nothing.

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I tell them I don't have any cash, which is almost always true. I use the debit card for everything.

I did give the guy at the corner near work money last summer. Then I saw this expose in the paper about scam artists. I felt kinda stupid but then I figured I gave $ out of love. I can't control what he does with it.

 

[Figaro]

Miss Manners says that the correct response is: "'Sorry, no,' or the better yet briefer 'Sorry,' is a reasonable and polite answer.

 

[snoopy]

Hmmm, well I live in D.C. where there is a large homeless population. I know most of the beggars that live around here, some have been living here for years. Sadly, some have died here too. Most are mentally ill, and some are addicts/alcoholics. We don't have many scammers here -- you can definately tell who our homeless are, they sure aren't making a profit.

Anyway, I rarely give them money. Ocassionally I'll buy them something to eat, and in the winter I bring them blankets. When they ask me for money I am always polite because I refuse to treat them without dignity. I just say, "Sorry, not today". The other day though I ran into a homeless guy that I've seen around for years -- he's a VietNam vet, former heroin addict, now just an old homeless man - he asked me for money and I gave him a $20. What with this war going on now and just the look on his face, it sort of broke my heart. But then I got hit up the next day and had to decline because really, I can't give everyone I feel sorry for money.

Long post, sorry! I say look them in the eye, treat them politely, but just say No.

 

[chell]

Guess I have one of those faces too. Just a few weeks ago I had someone come up to me in a restaurant because he needed gas money. He said that he and his wife had gotten in a fight the night before, blah, blah, blah... What he didn't know was that I saw him when he walked up to either his wife or girlfriend who worked at the restaurant and got a free drink. Guess he forgot about that. Their conversation let me know real quick that they were an item.

I rarely ever carry cash, so I do not usually have to tell them a lie.

My father was telling me about a man who only "works" about 4-5 months a year and makes over $50,000. He will go in the grocery store and buy one can of dog or cat food and one can of beef hash or something similar. Then he empties the dog food can and washes it out real well then replaces it with the beef hash. He sits somewhere very visible and begins eating his "dog food".

 

[battricia]

I say I don't have any cash on me. Really I usually don't, I hardly keep cash on my person, if buy something I usually use my debit card.

tricia.

 

[Kallison]

I simply say - No thank you.

 

[nkjzmom]

I don't think I've ever had anyone approach me about money around town. What they do here is come to your door!!!

In our old neighborhood we would get guys coming around all summer long looking to do work for money....telling us about their child being in the hospital with some terrible disease. I just couldn't afford to help them then. But in this neighborhood I just had our first man come by in 3 years. I'm just not comfortable having them around. I suppose if they really needed serious help they could head to the local churches.

 

[ScarlettO]

I don't understand the need to be polite....many are scam artists.

 

[Serena]

I usually shake my head and say I'm sorry.

 

[Samandmom]

NO!!!

 

[tinaluis]

I usually just say "Sorry". Funny story, though, I was on my way home from work the day before our recent trip to WDW and I had been at the bank to get some $$ for our trip. I was strolling toward the subway when a homeless person approached and asked if I could spare some change. Feeling especially giddy about going to WDW the next day, I reached into my pocket and pulled out what I thought was a one dollar bill and handed it to him. As I was walking away, I realized that it was actually a ten dollar bill. Probably made his night and it actually made me feel kind of good too.