How do you like yourself/accept yourself?

[Buckalew11]

I have had my share of rough times. It took more than 10 years for me to start feeling good about myself after grade & high school, and even now, there are days where I have doubts.

Anyway, when I read your post, my first thought was from "Prince Caspian"

:
You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve," said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content."

And that is exactly where I draw my strength. My faith is what defines my inner self, being, who I am in Christ. I'm not the prettiest of God's creations. Just because I'm not, does not ever diminish who I am in the world. I think from the biblical aspect, Jesus wasn't a handsome man either--one would think if God was coming to earth in form of a man he'd pick the most handsome parts and put them together to make one awesome, good looking man.

I deal with, in my everyday job, with people's looks every single day. I've been doing hair for 26 years and I haven't done an ugly person's hair yet. Everyone has a good feature...some more than others...but I haven't run across a truly ugly person yet and don't expect to.
Now, that said, I've seen some beautiful people that very ugly attitudes and dispositions and, well, they become unattractive because of that.

Because you mention God loving the pretty person more so He gave them better looks, I'll just mention this too--God loves us all equally, whether you recognize Him or not, follow Him or not, or do lots of good things or bad things, He still loves each person. Just as it really is deep down for us, He looks at our hearts, not our faces, hair, clothing, body types etc. And after the intial meeting, so do we.

 

[Ember]

OP, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Self confidence is a hard thing, isn't it? I make a point each day of counting my blessings. My life isn't the greatest if you start looking at all the bad things in it. But when you start looking at all the amazing things, it sure starts to look a lot better.

Right now I'm having a harder time with this, as I deal with my mother's terminal cancer. But I try everyday to recognize that I have the best mum in the world and I'm so very lucky to have had the relationship I have with her. I have friends who would move mountains for me and a husband who loves me beyond all reason. I don't have much "stuff" to show for my years, yet, but then I know how little "stuff" matters - which I think is its own gift. Whenever I start to fret about money and how I don't have enough, I donate to charity. It reminds me how fortunate I am to have something to give.

Try to find the good parts in your life, OP, and all of a sudden things look a little brighter.

 

[metime]

It sounds like you have a record playing in your head. I bet it has recylced versions of being teased and not popular. The thing is that you are not your thoughts. You are constantly reliving the teasing and sometimes we have to notice how our thoughts that are based from 20 years ago are not who we are at this moment.

I would also suggest "the Power of Now" or "A new Earth" Those books give you the perspective to notice that those negative thoughts or not you but a view of your self that was created. It isn't what everyone else sees but only what you hear in your head.

It really helped me get over a lot of records in my head that really had nothing to do with my life now.

 

[kristilew]

and wishes for you to find joy in yourself.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

You know better than to start talking about religion, you'll get her thread poofed. There's a big sticky about how religion's not allowed on the Dis.

If you want to proselytize, send her a pm.

 

[Ronda93]

As for beauty, watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBiA5d77HTg

It's been around for a while, but seems pertinent.

Ronda

 

[luvmylittleboy2003]

I also have suffered with poor self image/esteem for as long as I can remember. I am soooooo hard on myself! I have bought several books within the last couple of months and started to do a turn around - sloooowly. I still have moments where my thoughts start to say - your not smart enough, your not pretty enough, your not skinny enough, you mess everything up, your 38 years old - you can't.....' etc....but I'm learning to over-ride them.
I think most of my issues came from always pleasing everyone else and never doing what 'I' wanted to do. If I ever went against the grind there would always be negative comments made. I'm 38 now and finally taking charge of my life - I ponder everyday with 'Am I making the right decision, etc', but, at least its my decision & my life.

 

[::Snow_White::]

I had a lot of anxiety problems when I was little that I'm still embarassed about and get angered over when brought up because it was the worst times of my life. I'm 16 now and I think I'm pretty, and pretty likable if you knew me. Kids at school still say I'm creepy or depressed but I've learned that it doesn't matter what they say, and it only hurts me if I let it and they don't talk to me enough to know who I am. I decided to forget my past, because it got me nowhere.

I've thought about this for many years and I think after thinking for so long I've come to that conclusion, there was not really a time where I had a big moment that said "I love myself!". I was overweight 2 years ago and decided enough was enough, got healthy and that's where it started. I dropped a lot of weight, started taking care of myself, became more outgoing with my friends and stopped worrying about things and other people who don't care. I could think more clearly about everything. I'm much happier and now I'm just strolling along. When I get down I watch movies like The Secret Life of Bees, The Pursuit of Happyness or a feel good movie and that always puts my spirits back up and helps me realize my life is great.

I wish you the best of luck! There are people that have the same problem.

 

[mariolatry]

Mine has been multi-factorial. I've treated my depression. I've grown and matured a bit. I've been exploring my faith quite a bit, realizing that I'm made this way for a reason. I try to work out regularly and keep myself up. When I dislike myself, I think I'm doing what I can to look and feel good.

I still struggle with it though. I wish I had some easy answers.

 

[MIGrandma]

First of all, my heart goes out to you.

You said you are seeing a counselor so I do hope that helps, but please don't be afraid to try medication. If something can help you, why not take it? What is the reason you won't take medication? I was taking celexa (I think that was the name) for a few months during a rough part of my life and it truly helped. Don't be embarrassed to take something, if it can help you.

I have learned to accept myself, but I think it has come slowly over time with age. I am 52 now and "this is me". Accept me as I am, or not. I really don't care. I have a wonderful husband, wonderful children/grandchildren, and I count my blessings daily. My life is good and I am happy.

I have learned that anytime a door closes, somewhere a window opens. I lost a job last October that I'd had for 12 years. Out of the blue. No warning whatsoever. Part of me was okay with it (it was a stressful job) but the other part was so ashamed to be "fired." But, my DD recently lost her babysitter (the babysitter got a divorce and had to go back to work full time) and now I'm helping out with that. Losing my job was a door closing, but helping my daughter out with babysitting is my window opening. See what I mean? Maybe I am meant to help her out for the next few years, until both her children (ages 4 and 8 months) are in school full time. Who knows. I am content with this.

I hope you will soon learn to accept yourself and be content with who you are. We are all put on this earth for a reason. What reason? We may not know, but there is a reason. My advice is to just live your life day to day, take it as it comes and count your blessings daily. Good luck to you.

 

[Free4Life11]

As for beauty, watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBiA5d77HTg

It's been around for a while, but seems pertinent.

Ronda

Wow! I haven't seen that before. Thanks for posting.

 

[onelilspark]

Remember that when you look at one woman and think, "man, she's everything I'm not and wish I could be." There's someone looking at you thinking the exact same thing.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

It's tough out there and especially now times are tough for everyone.

I understand how you feel and am glad you are talking to someone. You also said you put yourself in a situation that you aren't happy about.

My small piece of advice is to make a list. I am a big list maker. Do pros and Cons about yourself. You actually might be suprised or what if you asked one of your very best friends to help you do that or even with your consuleor.

The Celebrities out there look the way they do because they have assistants and personal Trainers and lots and lots and lots of money.

If we all had that we would all look just like them. But are they happy? Don't know for sure but I wish you the best of luck

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Congratulations to everyone on this thread, who either realizes they have a problem with their own view of themselves, or those who are in the process of working on themselves, but particularly to ::Snow White:: who at 16 has figured out what many of us have spent many more years struggling with. Obviously adults don't know everything and sometimes the best lessons we learn are from those who are younger than us. Thank you for being strong enough to love yourself, even when you perceive that others don't.