How do you learn to trust again?-Minor update

[honeywolf7]

I'm having a hard time trusting Roger and he's doing nothing to deserve this lack of trust. For instance, he told me to call him between 5:30 and 6 today. Well, I called him early (4:30) and one of the guys who rents space at his barber shop said that he was gone for the day. I got ticked off because I thought Roger wasn't where he told me he was going to be....well, I called back at 5:30 just on the off chance that he might be there. He was there. I know that my reason for not trusting him is not him, but is the way that Thom treated me. The question is how do I get over this feeling?

 

[Saffron]

It's a choice you have to make. You know why you distrust him. Now it's up to you to make a choice. Are you going to let your reasons for distrusting him interfere with your relationship, or are you going to see your new guy for who he is and put your other issues behind you. You have to make the decision. It's your choice.

 

[Cindy B]

Different person! Remember this!

If you go into another relationship with mistrust, it will get ruined... Trust me there..

 

[goofygirl]

I know what you mean, I had trouble trusting men again after I got burned.

My current BF gave me good advice- that I have to remind myself that the past is past. Dont let the past get in the way of present and future happiness.

 

[olena]

*HUGS* Give him the benefit of the doubt. I know it's tough right now though. If Roger is trustworthy, it will help even more.

 

[worm761]

i have no advice but wanted to say that you are not alone. my ex cheated on me after we went through a bad time. i thought i was beyond that. enter my current boyfriend. i love him with all my heart and he is one of the best things to ever happen to me. he is currently going through a rough time. he has been gone alot lately. working 7 days a week, going out with friends to let off steam so he doesnt take things out on me. i know that he just has something going on that he cant talk to me about and i respect that. but i have been here and done that with someone else and i know how that turned out. and i just keep wondering. the worst part...i know in my heart i have nothing to worry about and yet i do.

gee..thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

 

[CookieGVB]

I have a problem with trusting men. My ex did a number on me. It's been almost 5 years since my divorce, and since I know I have this issue, I haven't even attempted to subject a man to my distrust. (and I'm loving the freedom, too!)

Maybe it's just still too early for you?

Just a thought...

 

[honeywolf7]

Cookie, the thing is that I really care about this guy and know that that could grow into love. He's already "waited" (or been interested and not dated anyone else) for two years....I don't think it would be fair to make him wait more (and I don't really want to wait) nor do I want to give him up.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

For instance, he told me to call him between 5:30 and 6 today. Well, I called him early (4:30) and one of the guys who rents space at his barber shop said that he was gone for the day. I got ticked off because I thought Roger wasn't where

If he said between 5:30 and 6:00 why did you call early? Perhaps he was gone for the day, told the guy he was gone and did not tell him that he was coming back. If he says he is going to be somewhere at a specific time and he is not, then you will have something to worry about.

 

[honeywolf7]

He's done that once or twice as well, Gail. He just called me to apologize for telling me he'd call me last night and not getting a chance and to make sure I'd call him tomorrow. As far as why I'd call him at a time I wasn't "supposed to", I guess I was just hoping to talk to him.

 

[honeywolf7]

I finally figured out what makes the thing that was bothering me with him happen. He is such a nice person that he keeps overcommitting himself because he can't stand to say no and he puts what he really wants at the bottom of the heap. I figured this out after his trying to get to me all day but having obstacles (like his lodge brother needing a ride or his mom needing something) in his way. I think I'm going to trust him a lot more from now on.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

As far as why I'd call him at a time I wasn't "supposed to", I guess I was just hoping to talk to him.

I hear that. But.....unfortunately all it did was cause you some major angst.

 

[Serena]

Like I said, You trust the guy unless you have a reason not to. He didn't do this and doesn't deserve it.

 

[honeywolf7]

I know what you told me, Laurie And I'm taking your advice. After last night, there isn't one bit of me that doesn't trust him anymore.

 

[Serena]