How do you get out of the Jewelry/Tupperware/Pampered Chef/Arbonne/CandleLite Parties

[ReneeQ]

I know there has been a similar thread to this before. I am re-dedicating myself to a budget, thanks in great part to the "no eating out" and "grocery game" threads going on here. Also, we need to set aside some spending money for our upcoming Disney Cruise AND we're adjusting to a new car payment and higher car insurance premiums.

I admit, before my "re-dedication" I attended a Pampered Chef party my sister gave and spent over $75. But it's stuff I've been wanting and actually WILL use. Now I'm invited to a jewelry party that a good friend is giving, and I don't even wear any jewelry, except the same gold hoop earrings and my watch and wedding rings each day. That's it. I've got a box full of stuff I don't wear and don't need or want anything.

Sometimes I luck up and can't go due to prior work/church/family commitments. If I don't go, I don't buy anything. What does everyone else do? I HATE being invited to these things.

And along the same line, with school about to start, how do you say no to all the candy/wrapping paper/calendar/junk the kids try to sell? I don't have children, so we're not on the selling end. But people at work, friends, etc., act shocked if I don't buy from their kids. How does everyone handle these?

Thanks!

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Two suggestions

For the parties just say you feel pressured and uncomfortable and would prefer not to attend.

For the second, I would at work only purchase items if I was contacted by the child. I told this to the parents and they accepted that. I would allow the parents to handle the mechanics, such as payment and delivery, but the sale itself had to be conducted by the child.

 

[MKCP5]

As far as the adult parties go--stand up straight and say no. Unless you are having these parties all the time and asking people to come to yours. I have said no to these for quite a while and now I don't get invited. Exactly the response I wanted. I don't make excuses, I don't say, "we'll see" I just say no, sorry I won't be able to come. You don't owe anyone a detailed explanation of why you don't want to buy more stuff!! The kid thing is tougher. They really do need the $$ for those fundraisers. But again, you absolutely have the right to say sorry, not this time and walk away. It is just no one elses business whether you buy this stuff or not. So be brave!!!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I do attend the selling stuff I don't need and can't afford to buy parties when I have time. I make sure they know ahead of time that I'm coming as a head count only unless I absolutely know that there is something I want/need like from Pampered Chef. I understand that the hostess gets points per head anyways so I'm still contributing.

As for people trying to sell me things, I honestly have a set amount for this stuff each year and when I hit the limit that is it but like someone else said the child has to ask me. I don't want to hear from the parents that Johnnie and Suzy are selling more junk that I don't need. I honestly love the candy so I buy that and give it as presents too. I'm cheap I know

 

[ducklite]

For the parties, I just say I'm busy. For the gift wrap and other stuff the kids sell I just say no thanks I dont need any right now, maybe next time.

Anne

 

[CajunDixie]

They really do need the $$ for those fundraisers

If it is a cause you would like to support then consider donating directly to the organization. When my sons sell Boy Scout Popcorn they are sometimes asked by older people if they can simply give them $5.00 to put directly into their unit accounts or to be split between the boy and the troop itself. Some parents do this with PTFO/PTO fundraisers as well....they'll donate directly to the organization rather than have their child out selling useless junk.
You can always just simply say you have already been hit up or that you just plain do not want to buy anything extra at this time. Believe me the parents have heard the word "No" before.

 

[pearlieq]

It was getting out of hand in my neighborhood, so I simply started refusing every single invitation and I let my friends know that I wouldn't be attending any home "parties" (A party is where you invite me for the pleasure of my company. If I have to bring my check book it's a sales presentation and should be labeled as such! /end rant) Word gets around quickly and I don't have to decline many invitations to those anymore. Before doing this I would be sure you don't want to sell anything in the near future.

You don't owe anyone a reason but you can always use the "other plans" excuse if you need one. They don't need to know that your plans are polishing your nails and watching a movie!

As for the wrapping/candy/calendars etc. you can just say that you have a relative selling the same thing and/or that you prefer to make direct contributions to the organizations you wish to support.

No is a beautiful word!!!

 

[powellrj]

I too was on the party list for a long time. I hated them. I finally stopped going and stopped buying things when I didn't go and I finally got off the list!

As for kids selling items, just ask if you can make a small donation and leave it at that. I am a parent of 3 and I don't even buy the stuff anymore nor do I ask anyone to buy it. I will just write a check.

 

[sk!mom]

For the parties- "I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to come." You don't owe a rason."

For the fundraisers- Some causes I want to support. For all others, I simply say "no, thank you."

.

 

[tikilyn]

I too was on the party list for a long time. I hated them. I finally stopped going and stopped buying things when I didn't go and I finally got off the list!

As for kids selling items, just ask if you can make a small donation and leave it at that. I am a parent of 3 and I don't even buy the stuff anymore nor do I ask anyone to buy it. I will just write a check.

I hate that the schools make the kids get out and sell that crap! My dd is starting PreK this year and I know that the school will send her out to sell. She's not going to do it, I won't let her! So can I ask what amount of money would be good for a cash/check donation?

 

[Anastasia]

I only attend parties if it is one that I am interested in. If I can't go, I just say I can't come, and don't feel guilty about it. I also have never hosted one.

As far as fundraising, I have three grade school age children, so I am in the thick of fundraising activities! I rarely ask anyone to buy the fundraising stuff. I usually just do the buy out. Sometimes my mother needs wrapping paper, so I will ask her if she is interested in it, but other than that, I don't ask anyone to support my children's activities. I feel that if I want my child to do an activity, I will pay for it.

I am from a large family, and have supported my nieces and nephews fund raising acticities, but it was never out of hand. I never feel guilty about saying no. It is my money, and no one else knows has any say in how I should spend it.

I can't believe that people would act shocked if you don't buy from their children. That is incredibly rude and tacky! Especially work acquaintances! I think that is really out of line to even try to sell the stuff at work.

Just say no and don't feel guilty!

 

[Mickey527]

My boys went to catholic school and I felt terrible having to ask the neighbors and family members to buy stuff all the time.
We had a certain amount that each family had to "earn" and if you did you didn't have to participate in the next fundraiser. I had 3 boys so I had to earn $400 per child. Imagine how hard it is to sell $1,200 worth of useless junk.
The year my youngest was in 8th grade they changed the rules so that you either had to sell $400 worth of stuff or "pay" $200 and be out of having to sell stuff. I gladly paid the $200 and wish I could have done that years ago.
Although one year my son won a trip to Hershey PA for 5 days for 4 people and my 3 boys and I had a great time. The same boy also won a bike one year and a $200 savings bond another year. They put all the names of the participants in the fundraiser into a bucket and Sean kept winning every year. Peggie

 

[floridagirrl2]

This is a tough one. I once worked at a place where my boss sold Amway (!!!) and a co-worker sold Longerberger (or whatever they're called) baskets. I just kept saying no to the Amway person and never went to the Basket parties, but I have to say it was awkward. I do think it affected the way my boss and coworkers treated me .

I worked at another place where we HAD to cook for fundraisers, solicit for donations, contribute to numerous expensive gifts for the bosses, give to United Way, etc. (this was a state agency!). This was after both my husband and I had been laid off from our jobs and I had accepted a job that paid 60% of my previous position--we were pretty broke.

When I objected, I was considered "not a team player." I'm very generous with my money with causes I believe in, but I absolutely hate to be pressured.

I do buy wrapping paper, candy, girl scout cookies, etc. but most parents understand that you can't buy from everybody. I also know several parents who decline to have their kids sell anything, and instead make a monetary donation equal in amount to the $$ their child was expected to raise.

 

[mrsg00fy]

I would just say no to the parties. No explanations and no guilt. I used to feel obligated to support these things, but no more.
As for the fundraisers, I have no problem saying no to that either. My boys are in scouts and they used to attend catholic school. The fees for scouts are pretty steep, but I just cut a check. I really do not like the idea of people feeling obligated to buy 50 cents worth of candy for $10.00 and I really resent it when the neighbors knock on my door for me to purchase from them.

I absolutely dreaded the ridiculous fundraisers. My feeling then and now is that I need to support their activities and not ask friends or family who have less than I do to support my kids. I would just buy the 90 candy bars outright, or purchase the minimum amount of junk. Now that the kids are in public school, the fundraisers are optional to pay for class trips. I just write a check and get it over with.

I also get aggravated with the different sports activities begging at traffic lights or when you are leaving the supermarket. THe only thing I can't say no to is girl scout cookies!!

 

[branv]

I've always resented the heck out of these things.

Bottom line is that you've got a friend/relative/coworker who wants some extra money. You are funding their little bankroll, but they excuse it to their own conscience by saying that they're really just doing a business transaction with you. In the long run, how many of the people there are really interested in buying what is being sold? I can't think of a single person who really likes attending these things (I mean, maybe the FIRST pampered chef, but after that...), but they feel pressured/guilty if they don't go and "help out." It just feels like, instead of "buying" something you really don't want, and giving most of the money to some organization, I'd rather they just ask me for the money they need so they're getting ALL of the cash.

I just tell them "sorry, I have other plans". One time I had my boss, and this is an HR boss who should REALLY know better, solicite all of us for her pampered chef party. Those of us who couldn't attend were left with a catalog to peruse. DEFINITE pressure to buy. The annoying part of this is that this lady made three times what the rest of us did.

As for the children's fundraisers, I only buy from my nieces. When other people ask, I just say "I'm sorry, I already bought a bunch of stuff from my nieces." Though I am happy to buy the occasional candy bar...mainly b/c it's immediate reward

Oh and about that whole traffic soliciting. Am I the only one who thinks these people are crazy for putting kids out that close to traffic?? It's CRAZY! Especially considering how dangerous intersections are. And then you see those little jr. high/high school girls soliciting for car washes on the corner in their bikini's!!! Oh sure, no prob, let a teenage girl flash some flesh to bring in the cars...if it's in the name of fundraising.

 

[magiroux]

I have to admit, I do like going to the home parties. I do not like to host them but I consisder them a fun social night out, (I know, get a life ) except for the jewlery parties and the Bath Shop parties which I have no use for. I never host them but there's always a candle or pot and pan I need. When I don't want to attend a party that a friend is throwing, all's I say is I can't make it that evening. I don't want to attend but I don't want to offend either, so that works for me.

As far as the kid's stuff....it is horrible the way the admistration of our school pressures these kids into selling with the enticement of (stupid, worthless) prizes and peer pressure at lunch breaks on who is selling the most. If the fundraiser states the check should be made payable to the PTO/PTA then I make a donation check for $10-$20 because they only will get 10%-20% of the monies from the sales of the catalog product. My daughter is not too happy about it, but I explain as best I can the "real deal". I'll buy you one of the silly prizes (for about $2) and still contribute the same amount towards paying for field trip busses too!!!

 

[CarolA]

I am from the just say no category. Now since I like Pampered Chef I will sometimes look at the catalog and place an order in advance, but nothing on any of the others!

I am a Girl Scout leader and I don't put the order forms out.... however, usually at the very end of the sale all the folks who want cookies will show up at my office going.. "can I have?" I normally find a troop who is doing a big trip or an inner city troop and funnel this to them. (I don't always have a normal 'troop'... I do special events for them!) But in this case the customers come beggin!

 

[bettyann29]

I have 3 kids but I refuse to do the fund raisers at school.. I dont like the way they make a big presentation out of it at school and make the kids think they are going to get all these neat, cool prizes when the prizes are cheapy and at that, hard to sell the items.. The last one I did there were a few items that when they got there the people didnt want so we were instructed to either return the money or the items.. I personally brought the money and the items to the office and they wrote my childs name on the bag, etc.. a few weeks later they sent a note home that my child needed to return the items/money.. I called back and left message, sent letter and they continued to harrass me over it.. when I told them who I gave it to, they "all the sudden" found it.. I vowed after that experience to not do it anymore..

At my work when someones child is selling something, they put a sticky note and tape it to the front of the book and put who is selling it and attach an order form.. it gets passed around.. there are hundreds of us so it just gets passed from one cubicle to the next and if you want something you buy it, if you dont want anything then you dont.. its no big deal..

 

[BrinxFam]

I love to go to and host Pampered Chef parties! I used to sell the stuff so I really do use it and don't feel pressured to purchase anything. I just tell my friends if they don't want to buy anything don't just come and have fun! In fact, we had a P.C. party as a type of fundraiser for our youth group and two of the people donated to our youth fund instead of buying anything from the catalog. We were able to present our program last week at one of the lady's place of employment and she said she definitely got her money's worth! Made us feel good!

About school fundraisers, I have started buying the magazine subscriptions and giving them as Christmas gifts. Kills two birds with one stone and it's a good value. I also buy the gift wrap but not this year. I got enough gift wrap on the after Christmas sale at a great bargain!

 

[ReneeQ]

Thanks for all your replies! NO, I have NEVER hosted any type of party at all. So it's not like anyone is inviting me because they came to mine, and I certainly won't be asking them to come to one ever. I had one friend call and say she was having a make up party and wanted to see what night I could come before she decided which night to have it!!! Luckily I couldn't go either night!!

As far as the kids seeling, I do usually say no thanks, I don't want any. But some people are a bit pushy, if you know what I mean. At work I have a coworker that puts her kid's flyers in the lounge, then if you don't sign up, she goes office to office to see if you want to place an order! I just say no thanks.