How do you feel about this?

[GEM]

Amy, I think the key here is that it's fine if the idea of nursing an older child makes you feel odd. You don't have to do it. The truth is, though, that extended breastfeeding IS a totally normal and healthy thing, and there is no reason that any woman, regardless of the age of her nursling, should feel like she needs to be hidden away from sight. There is nothing wrong with nursing a toddler, or even a preschooler if that works for mom and kiddo. And, before anybody starts yelling about people nursing their 13 year olds, please site me one actual case where that has happened. Believe me, I know LOTS of nursing mothers and TONS of exteneded nurses. I don't know anyone who is actually nursing their first grader. The normal and natural age for child-led weaning is between 3 and 5.

What everyone needs to remember, though, is that it really doesn't matter what you find odd or unusual or even just plain strange. You are free, of course, to think whatever you want. However, if you go beyond thinking and make rude comments or ask a nursing mother to stop or move, you may find yourself in trouble. The law in Florida protects nursing mothers in public, with no age restrictions.

As for the word "discreet", that is a meaningless phrase that gets tossed around alot. It means many different things to many diffent people. To me, being "discreet" meant finding a nice, comfy (not hidden or removed) place to nurse, puling up my t-shirt, and latching my little guy on. No skin showing except maybe a bit of tummy on the side, not nearly as much as most girls were walking around the parks showing, I guarantee! However, you could certainly tell he was nursing. For other people, being "discreet" might mean they want nursing mothers to cover up with a blanket or find a hidden area to nurse, etc. So, to say it's ok as long as they are being "discreet" is pretty pointless. I feel I was always discreet. There was no peep show. However, if you are one of those people terrified that you might have explain to your kids that moms make milk for their babies, then you might not feel I was being discreet enough for your tastes. Sorry.

 

[jkp_9192002]

i am all for the breast feeding. i personally did not do it. that was just a choice i made. i do however feel that, in my opinion, a mother should be able to bf her child in public, if the child is an infant. i have been places where the mother sits down the child unbuttons her shirt and nursing bra and latches on. if the child is able to do this, the mother needs to say ok its time for you to have a bottle or sippie cup. in "some" cases the mothers just wont let go. they want their children to stay babies forever. the child doesn't always have to have the breast. pump your milk for when you will be in public places and can not go to the feeding stations. i just think it is crazy when you see a 2, 3 or even an 4 year old latched onto their mothers breast. this is just my opinion. if your child needs a nap you are going to stop and retreat for the nap aren't you??!! then why can't you retreat to feed them if they are older.

 

[noseybuddy]

ITA!!!

 

[flortlebap]

It isn't a breast vs. bottle debate on the other board. I'm the OP and I can assure you that is NOT AT ALL what the thread is about. Please go back and read it again. Thank you.

You, the OP, have not created the debate.

Other posters have. And I have read it (and contributed).

 

[GEM]

Honestly, Karen, these questions have all been answered before in countless other threads.

Nursing toddlers DO take sippie cups of juice, etc. That doesn't negate the health and emotional benefits of continued nursing. This fact is supported by TONS of reseach.

Second, I question any person (especially anyone who says they have not breastfed themselves) who would assume to know the reasons behind any mother's deciscion to continue nursing into toddlerhood. You say that in "some" cases mother's just won't let go and want their children to stay babies forever. What exactly gives you that incredible insight into the minds of extended nursing moms?

You say you think it's crazy when you see a three or four year old latched onto a breast, well fine. You said two key things there, "I" and "THINK". YOU THINK it's crazy, obviously many mothers feel differently. If you don't like the idea of it, don't make that decision for yourself. I see PLENTY of parents make decisions that I certainly wouldn't choose for my family. Everyone gets to make their own choices about what they think is best, and they should do it without caring about what anybody else THINKS. That's like someone saying, "I think Harry Potter is full of evil and witchcraft and goes against my religious beliefs and I don't think anyone should wear Harry Potter t-shirts in public, because I don't like it and I don't want my children to see it and ask questions!" Can you imagine the backlash and anger that would follow if someone made that statement on here? Yet, it's totally ok for someone to say that mothers shouldn't nurse in public or shouldn't nurse older children in public because it makes ME uncomfortable.

As for pumping for an older child (which may or may not be possible if the mom hasn't been pumping all along) or "retreating" to feed an older child, please explain exactly WHY they should do that? So YOU would feel more comfortable? Honestly, you're the one who's got the problem and you're the one who's going to have to adapt. Don't expect mothers to make special accomodations to cater to your hang up.

And, about "reatreating" for naps . . . no, many people don't. You'll see MANY sleeping 2, 3, and 4 year olds being wheeled around WDW while their parents enjoy the sights and sounds. So, it's not a question of "Why can't you retreat to feed them?" It's a question of "Why SHOULD they retreat to feed them?" They are doing nothing wrong, breaking no laws, and are, in fact, doing something wonderful for their children. If you don't like it, keep walking or look the other way and make a different choice for your family.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I just hate seeing this ridiculous argument come up again and again. As nursing rates continue to rise in this country (thank goodness!) and extended nursing keeps becoming more and more common, you are going to see LOTS more nursing moms out and about with thier nurslings of all ages. For your own sanity and peace of mind, I would suggest you try and get used to it. If you can't please don't expect us to care. My decision about what is best for my child trumps your "odd" or "uncomfortable" feeling any day.

I won't be back to this thread for any more arguing, I promise. So, please carry on with the regularly scheduled ridiculous debate that always accompanies these topics. I'll be sitting the rest of this one out.

To the OP, go and feed your baby without a second thought. The law is on your side and most of the people around you will be too. The small percentage of people who might have a problem with it will mostly know deep down that it's really their problem and they won't have the nerve to actually say anything to you anyway. Trust me, I've nursed over every inch of Disney World. You'll have no trouble at all!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

You, the OP, have not created the debate.

Other posters have. And I have read it (and contributed).

You must be talking about some other thread, then. I'm sure there is more than one.
The thread I started is definitely not a breast vs. bottle debate.

 

[flortlebap]

AARRGGHHH (LOL)

I know you didn't intend to create a debate... but you must admit, there have been several anti breast and anti bottle comments along the way... same as could happen on this thread. I never said you intentionally created it but as with every post on this topic it has descended into BF mums causing offence to some bottle feeding mother or other and them retaliating by saying how offensive it is. Understandable I guess, it's a touchy subject with some people!

I see GEM's point too in that last (rather ranty ) post. I think I'd rather offer my daughter a BF than a McDonald's Happy Meal, chocolate bar, or drink of coke as you see so many mums of toddler's doing!

 

[goofie4goofy]

I have no problem with it at all. It is natural thing. To be honest, I never notice anyway so most moms must be discreet about it.

 

[Ellajoan]

The majority of people in the US are totally ok with it. I went to WDW with an 8 week old who was still eating every 2-3 hours and I nursed literally all over the world---on the trams, in front of the carousel, in shops, during playhouse disney, on Peter Pan, on the Safari, you name it. Air conditioned spots were especially nice, like the Hall of Pres. or the Carousel of Progress. No one seemed to notice or mind, and I didn't have to stop and find a baby center. That's one of the benefits of nursing---that you can feed anytime, anywhere! Go for it!!!


Now, when we lived in Ireland for a short time with an infant, it was a totally different story--I was not prepared for the reactions I received there (asked to leave places or comments made by people "under their breath"). I spent much of my time hiding in the car to feed my baby----so different from the States.

 

[PrincessLindy]

The only time I have been weirded out I guess you could say was in college. There was a student with a son old enough to stand to nurse while she was sitting in the computer lab chair. He was over 5 I am sure.

For one he shouldn't even have been in there. We were mostly all there to work, this is before everyone had there own. Even if you did the laser printer there was better and faster for printing out large papers etc. It is not somewhere a child should be running around. I love kids, I am a mother and a teacher. But a college computer lab is not a place to run around and make lots of noise. It was not like she brought something quiet for him to do or anything.

Back on topic now! He would walk up and in very clear sentence say mom I am hungry. She would not even bother slowing down just would move one arm and he would lift her shirt up all the way, no bra or anything and then stand there next to her sucking away loudly. Every once in awhile letting go to wipe his mouth or say something to her. After he was finished he would wipe his mouth and pull her shirt down.

The whole situation just made every one uncomfortable.

That is the only time I was ever weirded out. Although I have raised an eyebrow or whatever to some larger women especially (One myself so I know it is harder to be discreet) who 'whip it out' showing everyone everything.

 

[vatmark]

There's nothing wrong with BF in public. I wish I had been brave enough to do it with my 2 kids. I always retreated to the car. I have rather large breast and a lot would have been exposed getting my kids latched on.

BF is a totally natural thing. I have so many wonderful memories from when I BF my kids. They are 10 and 8 now. Both my kids are comfortable seeing women BF. They had seen their aunt BF and they understand what it's all about. They are not disgusted by it. It is a shame that some people make it out to be that way.

Bottle feeding mothers are allowed to feed their children whereever they like so why can't BF mothers do the same? And no I do not have anything against bottle feeding. My kids had some formula at times too when I wasn't there to BF them.

Oh and I just wanted to add that with some of the clothing that people wear now a days there's a lot more breast showing then when a mother BF's her child. But that seems to be okay?????

Annie

 

[wtpntigger2]

I actually think that covering a nursing child draws more attention to the fact that they are nursing. Most people think the baby is sleeping in their mother's arms until they get close enough to really see what is going on. I never once covered my dd while nursing in public and no one ever saw more than the side of my stomach, if that. I was also one of the fortunate ones that has never received a negative comment or look (that I noticed) while nursing my dd. Personally, I just love seeing mother's nurse their children in public. It just warms my heart.

 

[disneyjunkie]

There's nothing wrong with BF in public. I wish I had been brave enough to do it with my 2 kids. I always retreated to the car. I have rather large breast and a lot would have been exposed getting my kids latched on.

BF is a totally natural thing. I have so many wonderful memories from when I BF my kids. They are 10 and 8 now. Both my kids are comfortable seeing women BF. They had seen their aunt BF and they understand what it's all about. They are not disgusted by it. It is a shame that some people make it out to be that way.

Bottle feeding mothers are allowed to feed their children whereever they like so why can't BF mothers do the same? And no I do not have anything against bottle feeding. My kids had some formula at times too when I wasn't there to BF them.

Oh and I just wanted to add that with some of the clothing that people wear now a days there's a lot more breast showing then when a mother BF's her child. But that seems to be okay?????

Annie

Most people don't have a problem with BF in public as long as breast aren't exposed.

 

[PocahontasLookALike]

I feel as long as the BF-ing mother is covered up and making an effort to be modest about it, then there is no problem. Even if it's just a simple receiving blanket over the baby. But I don't think that people (and young children) who are not/don't BF need to see a grown woman's exposed breast.

Even if it is obvious that you are bf-ing, if you have a blanket or are covered there should be no reason to be a problem. But by all means, don't just 'fling it out' in the middle of a show/attraction for all to see.

Bottom line, just cover up when you're doing and there should be no reason why anyone would have a problem

 

[Lulu's Mom]

I feel as long as the BF-ing mother is covered up and making an effort to be modest about it, then there is no problem. Even if it's just a simple receiving blanket over the baby. But I don't think that people (and young children) who are not/don't BF need to see a grown woman's exposed breast.

Even if it is obvious that you are bf-ing, if you have a blanket or are covered there should be no reason to be a problem. But by all means, don't just 'fling it out' in the middle of a show/attraction for all to see.

Bottom line, just cover up when you're doing and there should be no reason why anyone would have a problem

Just out of curiosity(not picking on this poster, just used this post as an example) what is it about the breast that is offending, is it the nip or the surrounding fat and skin that compose the breast? If it is the nip then you would never see that with a BF mom, becuase the baby has that covered. Now if it is the the rest of the breast what makes that more offending than a women who choses to wear a short cut shirt, where her clevage is out for all to see?

A baby's head is usually bigger than the breast so to actually see the breast one would have to be really looking hard, vs a women wearing a cleavage showing shirt.

To the OP go right ahead and do what makes you feel comfortable and what you feel is right for your DC. If anyone has a problem with it then it is their problem and not yours.

 

[keishashadow]

I breast fed my children. I'm modest, always able to position myself somewhere in public that was relatively "private"...it's called a cloth diaper/receiving blanket judiciously draped.

At the risk of being crude, IMO it's not necessary to overtly display one's mammary when nursing. Yes, it's a natural body function but, we need to respect other people's sensibilities & personal space.

 

[faindrops27]

I breastfed two of my 3 children. I never felt comfortable being a large breasted woman. In public areas, it was very hard to do. Anyhow, if a mother feels comfortable. I see no problems with it at all. So, do what is best for baby!!

 

[faindrops27]

LulusMom. I was about to leave the board. But, then I read your post, about why is it so offending for a woman with her breast out feeding her child. You are so right. Why is it ok, or normal. For a woman to show her butt, with a floss between her cheeks at the beach. That is not frowned upon. But, a mother feeding, her child. Is oh such a shock, and looked down on?

 

[JerseyGirl1972]

I never breast fed my children, I just wasn't comfortable with it, however I am not at all offended by any woman who chooses to do so no matter how old the child. Every family is different and every child is different. You should do whatever you are comfortable with and any one who has a problem with that shouldn't be in a public place where there are going to be alot of children.

 

[ssleblanc]

I wouldn't be offended in the least. I BF both of my children and was very discreet. But, I had to BF in public sometimes - and I doubt any could tell. I'm very modest and don't particularly want anyone seeing my breasts. LOL I swear I spent the first two months of my oldest's life practicing in front of the mirror so I felt comfortable that no one could see anything. I was so paranoid, though I realize now that no one could really tell.