How do you feel about child harness?

[design_mom]

Personally, I do not like them as a general rule... but in "dangerous situations" I think they can be a good option. I would consider the potential for getting swept away by the crowd at WDW a dangerous situation that could warrant it, especially if the child is known to be a runner.

My DD was one of those kids would would be walking nicely beside you holding your hand, then she'd wrench her hand away and run. I bought a leash but never ended up using it. She did not like the leash. I gave her the option "Hold my hand; Ride in a stroller; or wear the leash. If she picked hand-holding and then pulled away, it wouldn't be an option anymore." She picked holding my hand, and she was actually pretty good. It at least gave her a feeling of control over the decision. Instead of me saying "You have to keep hold of my hand." it was either hand or leash, and she chose hand.

 

[Suellen]

OMG. let me clarify some things that those of us that say we wouldn't use a leash are/aren't saying:

A. We never once said YOU or YOUR parents are lazy. Just that lazy parents exist. Trust me they not some mythical creature we made up. I'm sure every one probably even knows one in real life. I personally know at least one.

B. We never said we judge people using them at all. Just that we wouldn't use one.

C. It was someone whom was PRO LEASE that brought up the cage/pen thing - not a non leashed! (incidentally my child slept in a hammock not a crib - but not because of what the crib looked like)

D. Everyone here has said your child your choice - do what works for YOUR family.

E. Safety is key. Someone said there are other ways besides strapping them in a stroller or leaching them - and was critized for not elaborating. I offered up what we did as alternatives to those two options and some how became the "perfect parent" with "perfect children". Seems to me the judging is coming from the people who use leashes.

You mask a question like this you are going to get all different answers - there is no reason to jump all over others who have a different opinion.

Also - don't worry - everyone gets their parenting judged at one time or another. With a tall child whom started talking at 5 months old and walking like a champ by one while taking in multiple sentences at a time - I got judged every time she behaved like her current age. You know how much it affected my life or parenting in the long run? Zero. I could care less about those people that looked at my two year old acting like an age appropriate two year old and wondering why she wasn't acting like the four year old she looked like.

As long as you aren't physically or emotionally hurting your childeren parent the way YOU choose to parent. There are much bigger challenges to parenting then to leash a toddler or not.

 

[damo]

OMG. let me clarify some things that those of us that say we wouldn't use a leash are/aren't saying:

A. We never once said YOU or YOUR parents are lazy. Just that lazy parents exist. Trust me they not some mythical creature we made up. I'm sure every one probably even knows one in real life. I personally know at least one.

B. We never said we judge people using them at all. Just that we wouldn't use one.

C. It was someone whom was PRO LEASE that brought up the cage/pen thing - not a non leashed! (incidentally my child slept in a hammock not a crib - but not because of what the crib looked like)

D. Everyone here has said your child your choice - do what works for YOUR family.

E. Safety is key. Someone said there are other ways besides strapping them in a stroller or leaching them - and was critized for not elaborating. I offered up what we did as alternatives to those two options and some how became the "perfect parent" with "perfect children". Seems to me the judging is coming from the people who use leashes.

You mask a question like this you are going to get all different answers - there is no reason to jump all over others who have a different opinion.

Also - don't worry - everyone gets their parenting judged at one time or another. With a tall child whom started talking at 5 months old and walking like a champ by one while taking in multiple sentences at a time - I got judged every time she behaved like her current age. You know how much it affected my life or parenting in the long run? Zero. I could care less about those people that looked at my two year old acting like an age appropriate two year old and wondering why she wasn't acting like the four year old she looked like.

As long as you aren't physically or emotionally hurting your childeren parent the way YOU choose to parent. There are much bigger challenges to parenting then to leash a toddler or not.

I think it was these statements that began the lazy parenting idea....


We had control over ours and didn't need a leash for them. I feel sorry for the child when I see them on one

Most of the time parent is looking elsewhere and not at the child and seems as though the parent just doesn't want to be bothered with looking after their own child



Those are pretty judgemental statements.

 

[elaine amj]

I liked the leash. I rarely had to use one....but for the times I did, it came in very useful.

I remember being heavily pregnant with DS and DD was about 14/15 months and when we would take walks without the stroller, it was really useful to have the leash around. Her arms got tired holding on to mine and I was physically incapable of catching her when she slipped her hand out of mine. She was not a runner, but walking on city streets was nerve-racking for me. So I bought a leash and walks became much more pleasant. I think I used it for 2 months and then packed it away.

I kept it in the diaper bag for the next 3-4 years although I used it a bare handful more times. Still, it was always handy and made me feel good knowing it was there when the situation warranted it.

The monkey backpacks these days are adorable. I just had the little wrist tether. Worked for us and I just ignored all the nasty looks.

 

[Suellen]

I think it was these statements that began the lazy parenting idea....


We had control over ours and didn't need a leash for them. I feel sorry for the child when I see them on one

Most of the time parent is looking elsewhere and not at the child and seems as though the parent just doesn't want to be bothered with looking after their own child



Those are pretty judgemental statements.

Mine was in reference to what I saw as lazy. If you have no interest in interacting with the child and can't be bothered to even look at them as they strain their leash in a different direction - it looks lazy. I wasn't saying that most of the time that is the case - most of the time lazy crosses my mind when I see that particular situation.

Take from it what you will and pick bits and pieces of what others say.....that seems to be a fun game of posting on a message board.

 

[ppony]

I think there are two groups of people who use kid leashes. Some people use it because the know their kids are "runners". Others use it because it's "better to be safe than sorry". I think the former group uses the tool until their children's minds mature into their impulsive bodies and then they allow the independence as long as there is awareness as well. The second group suppresses independence and keeps the apron strings tight ... literally ... because you just never know what might happen to even the best behaved child. Both groups have been represented here and I think that the more negative remarks are aimed at the latter group.

I am sorry you felt singled out. This was the comment though that put my ire up. I guess I don't understand how you can not see that as a judgement on how the latter group is parented. It was in your words. One group is using as a tool, the other as a suppressive instrument. I'm quite sure I'm not the only one that finds that an unfair judgement. I've only been trying to get you to see why that was unfair. It's OK though. You don't have to agree, it just seemed logical to me.

You are welcome. Frankly, I have felt somewhat attacked by your posts directed at me. I know you are passionate about this subject but just like you didn't want me to fire at me in defense, I would appreciate the same respect.

Here's the deal ... we have all been judged for our "parenting skills" at one time or another. I had to bodily remove my screaming and kicking out of control melting 6-year old from DHS one fine morning. Not one the best moments for either of us and believe me, there are far more judging eyes on the people steaming into a theme park than at an alpaca farm .

FTR, I don't assume that someone with a kid on a leash is a "better safe than sorry" helicopter parent. I assume their kid is a runner.

That's a better and kinder assumption.


Peace.

 

[indimom]

If kids and their parents hold hands, and everyone is happy and safe, what business is that of mine?

If kids are riding in the stroller while their parents push, and everyone is happy and safe, what business is that of mine?

If the parents are carrying or wearing their child, and everyone is happy and safe, what business is that of mine?

If kids are wearing a harness that connects them to their parents hand, and everyone is happy and safe, what business is that of mine?

If kids are running willy nilly, footloose and fancy free, and everyone is happy and safe, what business is that of mine?

OP, if there is one thing I've learned as a parent, it is this :
MY KID IS MY JOB, MY DECISION, MY LIFE.

Trying to parent the way other people parent is not always going to work. Kids are different. Families are different. What works for one, won't always work for another.
So....

Be happy. Be safe. In whatever way works for you.


Have a fabulous trip!!!

 

[disney1990]

When our daughter was younger, we used a hand holder. It connected to my wrist and to her wrist. If you knew our daughter, you would understand why. Better safe than sorry.

We told her it was so Mommy didn't get lost. She had no problem with it.

 

[robinb]

I am sorry you felt singled out. This was the comment though that put my ire up. I guess I don't understand how you can not see that as a judgement on how the latter group is parented. It was in your words. One group is using as a tool, the other as a suppressive instrument. I'm quite sure I'm not the only one that finds that an unfair judgement. I've only been trying to get you to see why that was unfair. It's OK though. You don't have to agree, it just seemed logical to me.

We all formulate opinions and make judgements. It is my opinion that some parents literally keep their kids attached by their apron strings ... I mean monkey backpack ... because they want to be "better safe than sorry" just in case little Jonny might bolt. It is also my opinion that "better safe than sorry" helicopter parents suppress their children's independence.

 

[MoonFaerie]

Sure, all parents get judged. Having people post about you on the internet or give you judging looks isn't exactly the same as having people come up to you in the store, tell you that you're a terrible parent, that you're kid is "too old to be acting like that" because his/her special needs issue isn't visible, and tell your already upset kid that he/she needs a beating. I can't speak for anyone else, but that is why I get defensive about people hating on things that helped us and start telling me why I was still doing it wrong.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I don't like them at all. When our children were of an age that we felt they might wander, they were either held by the hand, carried, or pushed in a stroller.

Do what you want, but we never used one.

 

[robinb]

Sure, all parents get judged. Having people post about you on the internet or give you judging looks isn't exactly the same as having people come up to you in the store, tell you that you're a terrible parent, that you're kid is "too old to be acting like that" because his/her special needs issue isn't visible, and tell your already upset kid that he/she needs a beating.

That really sucks . I gotta tell you that someone telling me that my kid needs a beating would NOT fly with me under any circumstance.

 

[SaraJayne]

I don't like them at all. When our children were of an age that we felt they might wpnder, they were either held by the hand, carried, or pushed in a stroller.

Do what you want, but we never used one.

Same here.

 

[ols386]

See nothing wrong with them as long as they are used responsibly.

 

[jujube]

Never used a leash and cannot stand them. If a parent chooses to use them, it's their business, not mine.

 

[Coconut36]

I don't like them at all. When our children were of an age that we felt they might wander, they were either held by the hand, carried, or pushed in a stroller.

Do what you want, but we never used one.

This. Never used one..not in busy places like the zoo or amusement park or less busy places like a mall.

Both of mine would bolt and run (and what fun when they would both go in opposite directions!) but we never used one. Stroller, carrying or hand holding worked for us.

 

[Southern Bell]

When I first saw one I didn't think the parents were bad but I thought it was just the most rediculous thing I had ever seen. I remember laughing a little about it! I never had trouble taking a child anywhere! I didn't really understand it! Since then I have had a grandson who after learning to walk hates his stroller , hates his hand being held, isn't afraid of strangers at all and likes to run from you! He doesn't see any danger at all! Well, now that leash or harness or whatever you want to call it doesn't look so bad to me! LOL! So I went and bought my grandson one. Now I think they are the greatest thing you could ever buy for a child! LOL! What ever it takes to keep your child safe is smart to use! Your childs safety should come first and not what someone else thinks! At any amusement park it would be so easy to loose a child because of crowds and other distractions. A child can be taken or disappear on their own in a second and you may not be one of the lucky ones to ever find them. I can't even imagine what someone goes through. It is also wise to take a picture of them, write your cell phone number on them somewhere like a bracelet , their shirt or shoe. My dad used to have a saying "After something happens its to late to worry about what we should have done then".

 

[Arielle22]

I used one with my younger dd. She wasn't a runner but a wanderer. We did briefly lose her at the Magic Kingdom. She was only out of our sight for a few minutes but it scared me so much we got a tether.

We only used it a few times but it made me feel more secure. She is now 17 and has 2 inches on me. She still tends to wander off when we are at a mall because something catches her eye.

My sister and I just started planning a trip for next year with our husbands and her son who will then be 5. He is a handful so we like a 4 to 1 ratio to handle him.

 

[minkydog]

When I first saw one I didn't think the parents were bad but I thought it was just the most rediculous thing I had ever seen. I remember laughing a little about it! I never had trouble taking a child anywhere! I didn't really understand it! Since then I have had a grandson who after learning to walk hates his stroller , hates his hand being held, isn't afraid of strangers at all and likes to run from you! He doesn't see any danger at all! Well, now that leash or harness or whatever you want to call it doesn't look so bad to me! LOL! So I went and bought my grandson one. Now I think they are the greatest thing you could ever buy for a child! LOL! What ever it takes to keep your child safe is smart to use! Your childs safety should come first and not what someone else thinks! At any amusement park it would be so easy to loose a child because of crowds and other distractions. A child can be taken or disappear on their own in a second and you may not be one of the lucky ones to ever find them. I can't even imagine what someone goes through. It is also wise to take a picture of them, write your cell phone number on them somewhere like a bracelet , their shirt or shoe. My dad used to have a saying "After something happens its to late to worry about what we should have done then".

I completely agree. I have used a harness with all three of my kids at various times. Oldest DS probably used it the longest because he didn't like the stroller and could break away very fast. DD was the sort of child that you could just say, "Stay beside me" and she would. Oldest DS, well, he was always a man on the move and his impulsivity was very high. The harness just gave us an extra measure of caution so he didn't get lost or hurt.

When I see a parent with a child in a harness or a wrist band, I just smile to myself. I get it. No disapproval from me. A restraint used properly will not in anyway harm a child. But a child who runs away and gets hit by a car or carried off by a stranger could incur a great deal of harm.

 

[burnurcomputer]

Anything that helps your child be safe and makes you feel more comfortable is what is good for your family. No judgement on this one