How do you explain what being gay is to a child?

[goldilocks_63]

Please don't flame me..

Was visiting at Saugatuck, MI, and daughter -8 noticed a gay couple and asked what's that...?

I hadn't really thought about it, and answered along the lines of well, there's lots of types of families.... some with only one Mommy or one Daddy, some with a Mommy and a Daddy, and some with 2 Mommies or 2 Daddies.

Was that a good enough basic explanation? I wanted to answer her, but not too much info at this point.

Suggestions? Goldi

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

You are doing your child a great service and showing very responsible parenting by answering in a matter of fact manner. The explanation you provided was appropriate to her age level and didn't dramatize anything.

When she is ready to know more, she will ask. Thanks for being a good parent!

 

[RickinNYC]

Given the age of your child, I think you did a great job answering your child's question.

 

[MrVisible]

Perfect. Couldn't have been any better.

I hereby award you the Golden Cool Smilie for your quick thinking and thoroughly impressive sensitivity.

 

[Rence]

Excellent job! Better than my mom.

I was a voracious reader as a child and ready way beyond my grade level. I would pick up and read anything. I was 10 back in the mid-60s and picked up a book my father had been reading. The book at one point mentioned homosexuals and lesbians. I asked my mom what that was. She told me that a homosexual was a man who acted like a woman and a lesbian was a woman who acted like a man. I thought about it for a few minutes and I determined that it must mean that homosexuals marry lesbians and the lesbians go off to work while the homosexual stays home to cook and clean.

 

[luvmydogs]

Years ago when ds11 got off the bus in first grade, he asked me what gay meant, because so-and-so called so-and-so gay. Although he was only six at the time, it was one of those moments that just lends itself to imparting a good life-lesson and couldn't be passed up. I just told him that sometimes men love men and women love women just like his father and I love each other. I also told him that there are some people who choose to believe that being gay is wrong (hence the on the bus name calling), but that our family believes that all God wants for us is to love each other no matter who it may be, He loves us all just the way we are and we should do the same. Just kept it simple and honest.

Although he was young, he understood what I was saying and now at age 11, seeing gay men and women together is just like seeing hetero couples together. It also opened up a line of communication which made it easy for us to talk about things like discrimination, bigotry and prejudice (as it relates to race, religion and sexual orientation), as we know these will be issues that he'll come in contact with on a near daily basis for the rest of his life. We started talking to him early because we wanted our values ingrained in him *before* he came in contact with those who may have different opinions--and ones we believe to be intolerant and wrong.

I think you did a fine job with your daughter.

 

[natenapril]

I was also considereing posting this question. My DD is 9 and recently asked me why 2 boys would kiss. I also just told her that she needed to believe in love and that sometimes people can't help who they fall in love with. And that *I* felt it was okay for 2 people of the same gender to love each other and to become a family. She asked me why I din't love another girl. So the discussion became a little trickier then!! But I just told her that you don't get to pick who you fall in love with and that I loved her Dad.

My DH is in the military and so she has not really had the chance to know a couple who are in a same sex relationship. THis worries me because when we move back to the states next year we would like to visit my DH's best friend's Dad is lives with another man. I am hoping by then she understands enough and will not ask him any embarrassing question

Aren't kids the best!!

 

[PghLybrt]

Kids are fun (although i am good with just dogs!)….We have 2 Godchildren a girl who is 9 and a boy who is 3. The 9 year old understands what gay means, boys like boys girls like girls ect. She also knows that my girlfriend and I share a bed , and yet she still thinks we are sisters, although we have told her many many times we are not. The boy keeps asking why Val ( my girlfriend) isn’t a boy. It just makes me laugh.

 

[goldilocks_63]

I wanted to cut off the prejudice before it began....

Kids are funny, they will ask anything... I don't really mind that because they are just curious. It's the well intentioned adults that bug me....


GOldi

 

[CleveRocks]

Years ago when ds11 got off the bus in first grade, he asked me what gay meant, because so-and-so called so-and-so gay. Although he was only six at the time, it was one of those moments that just lends itself to imparting a good life-lesson and couldn't be passed up. I just told him that sometimes men love men and women love women just like his father and I love each other. I also told him that there are some people who choose to believe that being gay is wrong (hence the on the bus name calling), but that our family believes that all God wants for us is to love each other no matter who it may be, He loves us all just the way we are and we should do the same. Just kept it simple and honest.

I cut and pasted this into my word processor, and I swear when my 1st grader asks me this sort of question I'm going to plagiarize you like crazy.

And OP, I think you did just great! I hope I can think that quickly and wisely when I get that kind of question.

 

[ProudMomTo3Boys]

my kids have asked this question, they are 10 and 8, and i gave them the simple answer that its when boys like boys or girls like girls they way mom and dad like each other. They were ok with that because I think that kids that age only need a simple answer to understand.

 

[maelstrom]

My mom told me it was when two boys or two girls loved each other the way Mommy & Daddy did. That satisfied me at age 3 or 4, whichever it was.