How do you control how much texting your kids do?

[SLK1]

My two older kids have phones. My DS14 hardly uses it. My DD12 is obsessed. She is constantly texting, and now that she is officially "into boys", it's even worse. We firmly believe in them having phones for emergencies, and we do text them whenever they might be out, so it benefits us as well. I don't want to take it away totally. But, I'm very afraid that by limiting her texting, first, she'll absolutely go over the limit and that could mean big bucks. Second, at this point it's all fairly innocent (I have read them) and I don't want to over-react and cause her to not tell us things or share things with us. She tells me a lot and I'd like to keep it that way.

The first step I took was telling her she had to charge the phone downstairs, so it's not in her room at night. The second thing is no texting after 9 PM. Any other strategies anyone wants to share?

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

We have (eldest is dd11)....

*No texting (or phones for that matter) during family meal times
*No phones to school
*No texting (reading or sending) during family days out or vacations
*No texting (reading or sending) during family time (we make a point of spending time each evening all six of us and find it very important she be a part being as distant age wise as she is to the others who are 5, 4 and 22 months)
*No password/pin number locking of phone
*No texting people she doesn't know personally (she's at that horrid age where her friends online are starting to get to "ohhhh it's ok to talk to X because I've never met them but he/she is on Y's contact list and they met them through Z who knew them from such and such...." - too vague! To text someone they have to be a personal friend from school/family social activities)
*No giving out her number callously.

We also make a big point of regularly talking as a family about how we're all doing and we confront head on the issue of boys and her friends "fancying" people and being asked out by boys- we're very big on instilling self esteem into her and reenforcing the fact she doesn't need a boyfriend to be "whole" :shakehead: like alot of her friends are beginning to act like.

With MSN we have similar rules and she only has internet access in the family room.

 

[jellybeans0607]

Ask her if she knew you could read all her texts

My 13yo sil is the same way. She always has that phone in her hand. She's a good kid, gets great grades and has a super head on her shoulders. So I let her do it. if I felt it was out of control or interfering with living her life, I would surely take it away.

 

[Mellie2162]

Just say no. Put a limit on the amount of texts you're comfortable with and if she breaks the rules take the phone away. We have unlimited texting here, but dd is not really into the whole cell phone thing and rarely uses it so its not a big deal here. She knows what the cell rules are and if she breaks them its ours.

 

[okeydokey]

Just say no. Put a limit on the amount of texts you're comfortable with and if she breaks the rules take the phone away. We have unlimited texting here, but dd is not really into the whole cell phone thing and rarely uses it so its not a big deal here. She knows what the cell rules are and if she breaks them its ours.

Sounds reasonable!

 

[amandaraye]

Our DS16 is a maniac when it comes to texting. At first, when he went over we made him pay the overage out of his own pocket. That didn't go over too well. He did cut back but was still going over so we got the unlimited plan for us (just me and him on the plan) BUT he pays the entire fee for the unlimited plan. If he breaks the rules otherwise (texting at night instead of sleeping/resting) it gets taken away. We don't really ride him too much about it because we know there are MUCh worse things he could be into than texting. I see it every day where I work so we try not to sweat the small stuff. Just our opinion.

 

[mjkacmom]

We have unlimited texting (thanks to dd12 - she pays half). She can text as much as she likes (she goes to bed at 9 - she loves her sleep - she usually leaves her phone downstairs). When I was her age, I spent hours and hours on the phone with friends (I had my own line). She spends a lot less time texting compared to how long I would talk on the phone. To me, it's the same thing.

 

[southtexasmom]

We have AT&T and they offer something called Smart Limits, I can limit DD's texts and what times she can receive calls and texts. Right now she can't receive calls or texts after 9pm on school nights except from people on her "safe list" (mom & dad). I think we pay $4.99 a month for this service but at least I know she is getting some sleep now.

 

[BuckeyeGuy28]

Bro, why would you read your kids' text messages? That's kind of an invasion of privacy.

Plus, like I would do, she probably deleted all the good messages so you couldn't see 'em. You should go online and read them or get every message printed with your phone bill.

 

[BuckeyeGuy28]

We don't really ride him too much about it because we know there are MUCh worse things he could be into than texting. I see it every day where I work so we try not to sweat the small stuff. Just our opinion.

Where do you work that you see, um...'worse things'?

 

[sl_underwood]

We also make our dds pay for their phones and texting, we have a no phones at the table or family outings rule as well. These work really well for us.

 

[Nie0214]

I know with Verizon you can have them turn off texting completely for the phone. Could use it as punishment if she goes over her limit, etc.

We don't really ride him too much about it because we know there are MUCh worse things he could be into than texting.

Eh, texting can easily go pretty downhill these days, especially if there is a camera on the phone.

We have AT&T and they offer something called Smart Limits, I can limit DD's texts and what times she can receive calls and texts. Right now she can't receive calls or texts after 9pm on school nights except from people on her "safe list" (mom & dad). I think we pay $4.99 a month for this service but at least I know she is getting some sleep now.

What an awesome service!

 

[LisaNJ25]

We have cingular and pay 29.99 for unlimited.

 

[NotUrsula]

There's a software out there called Radar that can be installed on a lot of phones. It captures every text message sent on a phone and lets a third party monitor phone usage online. It's not meant to be Spyware; it makes its presence known. The idea is that kids will be more careful what they do if you can see every click. (And that if something bad DID happen, you have a full log of all contacts.)

Not cheap, but I hear it is selling very well.

 

[SLK1]

Bro, why would you read your kids' text messages? That's kind of an invasion of privacy.

Plus, like I would do, she probably deleted all the good messages so you couldn't see 'em. You should go online and read them or get every message printed with your phone bill.

Well, Bro, when you're 12 and 14, you get no privacy!!!

 

[jellybeans0607]

Well, Bro, when you're 12 and 14, you get no privacy!!!

Same here, under my roof whats yours is mine!!

 

[sk!mom]

My DD12 also loves to text. Since it is so difficult to keep count, we gladly took the unlimited texting for $10 option.

I read her texts- an unbelievable boring task. Actually makes good bedtime reading- a real snoozer for the most part.

"Hey"
"Hey"
"What are you doing"
"Nothing"
"Me neither"
"We should do something"
and on and on it goes...

She has to leave the phone with us at night since I know that texting when she should be sleeping could be such a temptation. We've told her that if she ever breaks the school rule of "no cell phone" use then she would lose the phone. We also enforce text ettiquette- no texting during meals, no texting others when your spending time with someone.

We've had no problems.

 

[SLK1]

My DD12 also loves to text. Since it is so difficult to keep count, we gladly took the unlimited texting for $10 option.

I read her texts- an unbelievable boring task. Actually makes good bedtime reading- a real snoozer for the most part.

"Hey"
"Hey"
"What are you doing"
"Nothing"
"Me neither"
"We should do something"
and on and on it goes...

She has to leave the phone with us at night since I know that texting when she should be sleeping could be such a temptation. We've told her that if she ever breaks the school rule of "no cell phone" use then she would lose the phone. We also enforce text ettiquette- no texting during meals, no texting others when your spending time with someone.

We've had no problems.

You're right...the texts are quite comical, and I'm learning the code language...OMG, ***, G2G, etc...I guess since I have pretty much the same rules as everyone here, I won't overreact and make a big production of it.

 

[sk!mom]

You're right...the texts are quite comical, and I'm learning the code language...OMG, ***, G2G, etc...I guess since I have pretty much the same rules as everyone here, I won't overreact and make a big production of it.

Yes, I've actually had to google a few codes. Couldn't for the life of me figure out <3 - felt pretty stupid when I discovered that it was a heart.

 

[MichelleVW]

No major texting rules other than no texting during class. Text between classes or at lunch, but not during class and stay under 5000 non verizon texts.