dh and i paid for our on our own (our choice-felt as self sufficient adults living on our own it was'nt on our parents). we saved for 9 months and found lots of ways to save money.
figured out where we wanted to honeymoon-found the best value time to travel-schedualed the wedding date to fit the honeymoon.
got married in the spring so i hit the bridal stores in june/july when they were getting in the winter gowns and clearing out the spring gowns (got a gown that retailed for $2000 that year and $2500 the next for $399)-did not pay them to dryclean and press the gown. picked it up a week early and went with the local HIGH END dry cleaners who did the works for 1/3 the price (they admitted that the area bridal shops jacked up the prices the charged). got samples of wedding invites-took them to the local printing/copy center and they made almost identical for a very small fraction of the price. booked a church that had a hall which permitted us to bring in outside vendors-contacted a local deli/caterer that did not have fixed menus-picked what appealed to us and did full buffett for a third of anyone else's price (they prepared, set up-we had to tear down and return platters, chafing dishes). got our cake at one of the local grocery stores (looked the same/tasted the same as the good bakery in town-1/2 the cost-but we had to arrange to pick it up on our own). went minimaly on decorations-maid of honor did silk flowers for bouquets, boutineers, some candle holders-went with fresh flowers only on alter which were then moved to decorate the main table. watched the specials on champagne-bought ahead of time and stored.
only 'splurge' was getting what we felt was the top photographer in the area. did a package that included videographer. it was costly-but it was less than allot of friends paid because we did'nt feel obligated to purchase albums for parents and such (our sibs had done that and honestly-they go largly ignored after the initial event)-we did get each a copy of the video which they enjoyed much more (and cost us much less).
did'nt do live music-just brought a stereo and arranged for someone to change music (neither of our families are big into dancing).
rehearsal dinner-nothing realy. in our experience people have enough to do the night before to have to spend the evening with the b/g-and several of our attendants had kids that did'nt need to be spending a late evening out the night before a busy day. we had some nice homemade foods available at the church hall adjacent to the church where we held the rehearsal-but most people realy wanted to get home and rest.
given, we got married 16 years ago (in march) but over a hundred guests and a full meal (evening meal), tux rentals, flowers, gown/veil (borrowed a slip-got the plain shoes at payless that you dye to match dresses/left white), catering, invites, 'favors' (did gold foil wrapped chocolate coins-we both hate jordan almonds)-everything with the exception of the honeymoon $2500 tops. funny thing is despite not living in a region where it's popular to give cash gifts (rare even with close relatives-even then it's generaly a small amount gifted with an item) we received more than enough to cover both the weddding and the honeymoon. since we had saved it and budgeted for it we socked it away and used it towards the down on our first home 8 months later
Good Luck
