How did this happen to us?

[dalton165]

My DH has not had steady employment for the last 3 years. He's tried everything from going back to school to starting his own business....nothing has worked for us. It's like we're cursed!

He is such a hard working & great guy that it breaks my heart to see him struggle so much. He was laid off from his last job and he's been on unemployment - but that will be exhausted at the end of this month.

We are now at the end of our financial "rope" our emergency fund is gone and all that's left is whatever equity is in our home.....I just don't know how it happened. We are both college educated and hard workers. We don't want a hand out - we just want to work.

I try to be optimistic and the family cheerleader - but I find myself so depressed that I can no longer get out of bed anymore. I've passed scared and I'm now numb with fear. I know that there are other people in my situation or in worse shape. If it wasn't for my 2 kids I'm not sure I'd make it.

We took a trip to WDW in August and I was lucky enough to have gotten a good deal & it was paid in full. I know some people will say it was stupid to go - but we needed a break from all the stress in our life.

After sending out hundreds of resumes we are seeeing that the jobs that are out there are paying so little....really how to companies get away with it. DH went on a sale job interview today. Recruiter told him that there was a base salary....okay what's the base? $7.25 an hour - No benefits!!!! Had he known that he wouldn't have driven the 1/2 hr to get there - what a waste of gas and time. Some sales jobs don't even offer a base anymore. Seriously!

(Sorry for the pity party) I think it was triggered by the rejection email that my DH just received. We really thought he'd get the job.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm too embaressed to talk to family or friends about our situation - sometimes it's nice to just get it off your chest.

 

[wdwfan16]

My DH has not had steady employment for the last 3 years. He's tried everything from going back to school to starting his own business....nothing has worked for us. It's like we're cursed!

He is such a hard working & great guy that it breaks my heart to see him struggle so much. He was laid off from his last job and he's been on unemployment - but that will be exhausted at the end of this month.

We are now at the end of our financial "rope" our emergency fund is gone and all that's left is whatever equity is in our home.....I just don't know how it happened. We are both college educated and hard workers. We don't want a hand out - we just want to work.

I try to be optimistic and the family cheerleader - but I find myself so depressed that I can no longer get out of bed anymore. I've passed scared and I'm now numb with fear. I know that there are other people in my situation or in worse shape. If it wasn't for my 2 kids I'm not sure I'd make it.

We took a trip to WDW in August and I was lucky enough to have gotten a good deal & it was paid in full. I know some people will say it was stupid to go - but we needed a break from all the stress in our life.

After sending out hundreds of resumes we are seeeing that the jobs that are out there are paying so little....really how to companies get away with it. DH went on a sale job interview today. Recruiter told him that there was a base salary....okay what's the base? $7.25 an hour - No benefits!!!! Had he known that he wouldn't have driven the 1/2 hr to get there - what a waste of gas and time. Some sales jobs don't even offer a base anymore. Seriously!

(Sorry for the pity party) I think it was triggered by the rejection email that my DH just received. We really thought he'd get the job.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm too embaressed to talk to family or friends about our situation - sometimes it's nice to just get it off your chest.

It is never easy when one has a loss of income or an exteneded illness.

What is your plan to pay the mortgage? Will you try to sell the house? Do you work? Are you looking too?

Keeping this from your family and friends is not the best idea. They could have job leads that you are missing. They might know of a group or organization that could help out. They might know of somebody who would love to buy in your neighborhood and you would not need a realtor. They can take the kids for you for a few days to give you a break. They can help in so many ways.

 

[delaneyc52]

My heart goes out to you. We are a bit older than you and I can simply tell that from your posting. All I can tell you is that my DH (who has two Master's Degrees) was laid off twice because the Corporations decided the projects they were working on would be dropped from their plans. Nothing he or his team did...just an "oh well we decided not to market that product". We know all about those rejection letters and interviews!

Fortunately, my job continued - although every 6 months I had no idea whether I'd be laid off or not. All the time, we had twins in parochial schools paying tuition on top of everything else. Very stressful and I can relate.

All I can say is hang in there!! Easier said than done, I know. He may have to settle for a lessor job and the budget may take a huge readjustment. Be strong, be positive. The worst has been done and now it will work toward getting better.

I wish you and your family all the best.....I know you'll get through this!!!

 

[delaneyc52]

"Keeping this from your family and friends is not the best idea. They could have job leads that you are missing."

Absolutely great advice. Everyone is laid off these days...and I mean everyone. It may seem very very personal to you but you need to move beyond that and tell everyone to keep an eye out for opportunities. Networking is key to getting that next job!!!

 

[Va-bear]

First, I truly am very sorry to hear about your situation and hope it imporves quickly. Second, I usually dont answer these sorts of posts as I find that I seem to be in some minority and must be crazy to think the things I do - but you sincerely seem to be shocked, so you may take this the way its intended (which is, not as a slam but as a suggestion).

If you work, increase your hours DRAMATICALLY, if not find a job, any job. Take a second job, also. Fill in weekend time w/ a third part-time job. You and DH can alternate your hours, one doing day and one doing evenings, so no sitters are needed. I know great jobs w/ benefits are very, very difficult to find, but I see Target, grocery stores, etc. all hiring right now, esp. w/Christmas coming. (I can speak fror experience - for quite some time I had 3 jobs and did not take days off - weekends included - for months at a time.)

And tell DH to take the sales job - many folks would be thrilled to find a job at $7.25/hour, even w/out the potential for extra money after making a sale. And, then his foot is in the door - if something higher up in the company opens up he might be considered, since he's shown himself to be a go-getter.

I hope things improve for you guys quickly -this economy is painful.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

Are you just looking at jobs where you are currently living? Unfortunately, it might take a move to another part of the state or out of state for a job. As much as that might not be optimal, if it means a paycheck and benefits sometimes you have to sacrifice.

There are industries out there that need people to work - nursing, teaching...

Are you working? There might not be benefits but if you're good at people relations you could easily work for a home-based business like Pampered Chef or Stampin' Up.

I think DH and you need to sit down and decide what you are willing to do for employment. My DH is military and we move every 3 yrs. We've had the opportunity to leave the service and go into the private sector but the money is decent and we know he has a job. I hate moving. In the last 13 yrs I've moved 8 times.

 

[DisneyDizzy]

I'm so sorry. It's never an easy situation and I hope that things will work out for you all.

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. He's had 6 jobs in that time. He's brilliant and well educated. He's an structural engineer. Over the years his companies have lost jobs or lost profit and downsized. He's only gotten laid off once but he's gotten taken aside and told to tell his division to start looking for jobs many times. When he was laid off I thought I was going to die. I have never felt so sick. He works so hard and stays late and chips in where he can. He did find a job after that lay off but they still weren't doing well. We finally couldn't take the uncertainty of it anymore.

We researched and talked to people and realized if we wanted good money and a steady paycheck we'd have to move to the other side of the country. So, we left our friends and family, sold our house at a loss and ended up out here. I've gone through periods of sadness since our move missing everyone and everything familiar. But I know we made the right decision. This company just got awarded a massive job that will last for 5 years. That's 5 years of stability and peace of mind.

But we had to be willing to strike out on our own and leave everything we know. Thank God we have family that is willing to travel. And the paychecks are steady enough for me to fly home with our son several times a year.

I've seen such a change in my husband, too. Just knowing that his head isn't on the block every single day has made him so relaxed. He smiles easier and even has time for a hobby or two.

You may have to step outside your comfort zone. It's not easy but you will survive. At least our little family is together and safe and healthy. (I have to tell myself this all the time, )

 

[FLmomof2]

I can relate to some of the things you said. My husband was laid off 2 months ago, and I wonder all the time how this happened to us, and why him, since he works so hard and is very likable. I am always telling my friends and family we are cursed and everyone says "things will turn around" but it never seems too.

I understand 2 months is different than years, but just know you are not alone. I understand the stress, and the disappointment when you get the rejection letter. My husband has his hopes up very high for a job right now, and I just know he will be devastated if he doesn't get it. It always seems like they go with another candidate. Well when will it be his turn.

Jobs in my husbands profession are few and far between here...and we face the possibility of having to sell our home and move if things don't change.

Try to keep the faith, talk to your family and friends (sometimes it does help). Please don't give up!

 

[Mad4Mickey]

just a hug . Things have to get better for everyone know that you are not alone . There seems to be someone on here everyday who just lost thier job do not feel bad about sharing

 

[dalton165]

Thank you everyone for your kind words & Prayers....it's is truly appreciated.

It's really nice to hear such encouraging words...made me a little teary, but in a good way

I work from home - I have an ebay store. The income is not steady so I am also looking for a job. Our kids are little 10 & 6 and we don't have family in the area so I need to find a job that works around their schedule. Right now I am applying to 2nd or 3rd shifts jobs so that we won't need to pay for childcare. It just seems like their are so many people applying for the same positions. I have been told that I'm in the top 30 for a receptionist job I applied to. The HR rep told me they received 400 resumes....and I'd receive a call this week if I am in the top 10. It's crazy

DH is looking at some seasonal jobs as well - just to keep us afloat until a job comes available. UPS is hiring so he applied to that.

We've spoken about moving. My only problem is that our resale value is so low that I'm sure we'd lose money by selling now. So far we've been able to pay our mortgage every month. We've just cut back on EVERYTHING else:

We only have one car, luckily our car is paid off
We've cut back our dish service. We only keep it because it's bundled w/our phone & cable.
I'm cutting coupons like CRAZY
I sold all of Dkids clothing & used the $ to purchase this years winter clothes, just need to get my DD a new winter coat.
I'm thinking about selling some old jewelry. I'm just afraid of getting ripped off.

Any other suggestions are appreciated.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Just wanted to say HANG IN THERE to all of you that are in a job loss situation. Unfortunately, many people THINK the economy is "turning" when they heard the market was above 10, but the people "in the know" seem to think it is the hedge funds and the Bubble will burst! Fact is that more companies are laying off and the creation of NEW jobs is near nil. So, the competition for even the minor jobs is so tough. It is just a crazy crazy time...

I pray that everyone has BETTER days ahead and that you each stay healthy and ASK for help from family and friends....NETWORKING is vital too.................BEST OF LUCK to ALL!

 

[jennyopenny]

What size winter clothing? Please PM me.

 

[dalton165]

I can relate to some of the things you said. My husband was laid off 2 months ago, and I wonder all the time how this happened to us, and why him, since he works so hard and is very likable. I am always telling my friends and family we are cursed and everyone says "things will turn around" but it never seems too.

I understand 2 months is different than years, but just know you are not alone. I understand the stress, and the disappointment when you get the rejection letter. My husband has his hopes up very high for a job right now, and I just know he will be devastated if he doesn't get it. It always seems like they go with another candidate. Well when will it be his turn.

Jobs in my husbands profession are few and far between here...and we face the possibility of having to sell our home and move if things don't change.

Try to keep the faith, talk to your family and friends (sometimes it does help). Please don't give up!

I'll keep your husband in my prayers.....I hope gets the job. I see your in SC. We are in NC - Charlotte area. I know that SC was hit with a really high unemployment rate. NC is not too far behind!!!!
Best of Luck to you & your family

 

[MN_Gal]

I know that things will improve for your family and you have been doing a great job trying to keep up in this tough economy.

Based on the little info you provided, your family may be eligible for SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program FKA: Food Stamps). Below is the link to the SC info on applying for Food Support benefits.

http://dss.sc.gov/content/customers/food/foodstamp/index.aspx

I currently work doing eligiblity determinations for programs in my state and we have seen an increase in the past year mostly from families who have never been on programs before, but due to the tough economic times, this is the help they needed while they sought other employment, etc. If eligible, the money currently spent on food, could be used towards mortgage, etc.

We always encourage anyone who may think they are eligible to apply for Food Support (or other programs like MA or Cash Assistance). These programs were designed to help people who need a little help to get back on their feet in tough times.

Good luck and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me.

 

[mum4jenn]

Have you tried getting a job at a school? Many moms work in school lunchrooms because they work pretty much the same schedule as their kids. I know it is not a glam job but it is a paycheck and you still have weekends, nights, holidays, summers OFF.

My husband was at his last job for 17 years and his plant closed. He will start collecting unemployment in a couple of weeks (has been getting severance) but after sending out tons of resumes and applications he began training and has since received his CDL license and drives a school bus. The money is horrible BUT it gives him time inbetween the morning route and the afternoon route to work on resumes, internet looking, interviews, etc.

While neither one of these jobs are a "woo hoo look at me and what I do for a living" type job they ARE jobs and they work well with the schedules of your children. There are potiential employers out there that will be impressed that you worked even at this type job instead of just depending on unemployment.

Even places like McDonalds and other fast food places would work around the schedules of your children and would love to have adults working during the daytime when the traditional teenagers are at school.


I DO completely understand what you are going through. We have cut services and used up all our savings but the good jobs are still hard to find right now. I think you both need to get out of the house and get out there and carry on conversations with other adults. Even use this time to show what a hard worker you can be and you never know when that person who orders a Big Mac will like you enough to give you an interview for a better job.

Good Luck.

 

[carrie_106]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, but I am a school administrator, if you both have college degrees, you could substitute teach. We always have a need, and although it varies day to day, we pay about 100 per day. It might help tide you over.

 

[staciepm]

Good substitutes can work almost everday. I have been subbing at my kids school for three years. The plusses are many- no extra gas or car wear, only work the days the kids are in school, get to know the school staff, no daycare or afterschool. Our district does not pay as much,but you can sub with just a high school diploma. I have just taken an assistant job that I would never have gotten without subbing. We also have an afterschool program that a lot of parents work at to be with their children.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Our district does not pay as much,but you can sub with just a high school diploma. I have just taken an assistant job that I would never have gotten without subbing. We also have an afterschool program that a lot of parents work at to be with their children.

I agree. Substitute teaching is a good option for job-hunters because you can work a flexible schedule. You can spend afterschool hours searching job boards and posting resumes and if you have an interview you can just not take a job that day.

Look into the requirements for your state because they are all different. In California, you have to have a bachelor's degree and pass a 4-hour standardized test that is offered every couple of months.

 

[AntePrincess]

If your circumstances are what you say they are, then how can you look down on the $7.25/hour job? Because you're college educated? So am I, but a good plumber in this town makes more per hour than anyone I know with a BA. Money is money, and soon-to-be-beggars-if-the-economy-doesn't-turn-in-time can't be choosers. Never mind the Disney trip, it's already done and gone.

 

[PrincessParty]

I wish I had words of wisdom, but my DH just took a $30,000.00 pay cut when he took the first nibble he has had in 4 months. We are anxiously awaiting his first payday as he had to travel 2 hours away for training. The company paid the hotel and will pay mileage, and food, but have to wait for the paperwork to go through accounting. Meanwhile, the bank account is . I too have been up nights worrying, hard to get motivated, but do it for the kids. I have to say, I have learned alot through this time. My children are most appreciative of the little things instead of so much that they took for granted before. We have learned to live on less and will save more! Please hang in there!