How come? MIL again. ...and then there was facebook rotfl

[krcit]

Maybe I'm not well versed on the back story seeing as I only remember the cheesecake story and a couple of other ones, but I can't understand why you have such hatred and venom for this woman?

She wants a cheesecake, you refuse to make one, and that makes her self-centered and manipulative?

She needed Gatorade, FIL refused to get it for her, she calls your house, where you undoubtedly were rude to her on the phone so she doesn't bother asking, yet this somehow is getting turned around into her being evil? And for the person who asked, when you are sick you need more then just water, you need electrolytes. Water does not contain this, Gatorade does.

Again, maybe I'm just not seeing it all, but I have a hard time understanding why you hate her so much?

Me too.

OP , a bit of advice and you can choose to ignore it or not. You and your family live next door to your in-laws so unless you choose to move, you need to have a civil realtionship with them. If you think that someone is 'out to get you', then everything they do will seem like an attack or a slight of some kind. Don't let it. let it go. You will be happier and less stressed because of it. I mean, listne to yourself...you're convinced that because your MIL's sister is over there must be some 'evil plot' afoot. I know what I'm talking about. I dealt with a crazy family member and was letting it get to me and then one day I had a 'lightbulb' moment and refused to let them get to me anymore Guess what? I'm no fun to harass anymore so they don't or if they do, I don't even notice. You have a loving family, embrace that and just refuse to engage in any dramatics.Trust me, you will be happier for it. Good luck!

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't hate the person, I hate manure stirring and I can smell things being stirred. Sometimes, when you know people really well and see them going through certain motions over & over again you can tell where things are headed before you even get there. You wouldn't believe what she says about my BIL, so I can only imagine what is being said about me

MIL was just talking about moving down to the shore home they inherited, and she has mentioned moving to Miami with SIL. I think it's only a matter of time before they fly the coop otherwise i would seriously consider going.

Back-story, MIL's sister habitually abandons her husband and totally abandoned her kids when she divorced her first DH. She thinks nothing of going months without speaking to her daughters. Not exactly a good influence on MIL.

 

[SaraJayne]

Like I tell a friend who continually complains about her "crappy, miserable" life ~ "either change the situation or be quiet."

Those are your two choices. If you choose to not change the situation, don't expect people to be sympathetic.

You're obviously getting some type of payback from her behavior...or you would have put a stop to it a long time ago.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Like I tell a friend who continually complains about her "crappy, miserable" life ~ "either change the situation or be quiet."

Those are your two choices. If you choose to not change the situation, don't expect people to be sympathetic.

This....

PS: Those who are not really 'getting' this have indeed been missing something.

 

[SpecialK]

Like I tell a friend who continually complains about her "crappy, miserable" life ~ "either change the situation or be quiet."

Those are your two choices. If you choose to not change the situation, don't expect people to be sympathetic.

You're obviously getting some type of payback from her behavior...or you would have put a stop to it a long time ago.

Agree. I think it's time for you to realize that you are part of the problem.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Like I tell a friend who continually complains about her "crappy, miserable" life ~ "either change the situation or be quiet."

Those are your two choices. If you choose to not change the situation, don't expect people to be sympathetic.

You're obviously getting some type of payback from her behavior...or you would have put a stop to it a long time ago.

My life is neither crappy nor miserable. AT the moment my in-laws are being characters. I KNOW crappy and miserable and this ain't it. If this is your definition of miserable and crappy you are in for a very hard life my friend because life can get immeasurably worse.

This is more like a pebble in the shoe, I wish it wouldn't be there but its not like it is going to keep me from my destination... that would be pathetic.

I post about it because the woman perplexes me, not because it shatters my world. Lets put this in perspective, this isn't my mother, she can't hurt me, I don't like her and she doesn't have to like me, I would like to be civil because this might be a bother to my husband. Sometimes folks on here can be a trip, I think some of you guys are missing the boat... I'm just not the sort of girl who gets upset by other people. Like I said before, I'm more of a slash & burn personality trying hard to not go with that because I'm not alone here, I've been married for 17 years and since I'd like to keep it that way sometimes bending is necessary.

The only thing more ridiculous than my circumstances is people thinking it's painful, it's not, it's ridiculous, no more & no less. It's a PITA but crappy & miserable, naaahhhh.

 

[SaraJayne]

My life is neither crappy nor miserable. AT the moment my in-laws are being characters. I KNOW crappy and miserable and this ain't it. If this is your definition of miserable and crappy you are in for a very hard life my friend because life can get immeasurably worse.

This is more like a pebble in the shoe, I wish it wouldn't be there but its not like it is going to keep me from my destination... that would be pathetic.

I post about it because the woman perplexes me, not because it shatters my world. Lets put this in perspective, this isn't my mother, she can't hurt me, I don't like her and she doesn't have to like me, I would like to be civil because this might be a bother to my husband. Sometimes folks on here can be a trip, I think some of you guys are missing the boat... I'm just not the sort of girl who gets upset by other people. Like I said before, I'm more of a slash & burn personality trying hard to not go with that because I'm not alone here, I've been married for 17 years and since I'd like to keep it that way sometimes bending is necessary.

The only thing more ridiculous than my circumstances is people thinking it's painful, it's not, it's ridiculous, no more & no less. It's a PITA but crappy & miserable, naaahhhh.

I wasn't referring to your life as crappy and miserable. That was a direct quote from my friend about her life (hence the quotation marks).

My point was, if you aren't going to do anything to change the situation, stop complaining about it.

I'm not going to bother to search out old posts of yours, but I disagree when you say you aren't the type of person that gets upset by other people. Go back and read some of your own posts about your MIL.

You're getting something (sympathy? attention?) out of the drama. And until you acknowledge that, nothing will change.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I've been married for 17 years and since I'd like to keep it that way sometimes bending is necessary.

Wow, just W O W.....

There are just NO words....


So, you feel like your marriage is in play here.
You feel like your DH might choose his mother/parents over your marriage, if you don't practically live with his parents and be treated in a way that is disrespectful and sub-human (being expected to be a doormat is not a form of respect for somebody else as a human being). And, that isn't 'crappy'?

Call it 'bending' or whatever you wish.

Again, there are just NO words.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I see I have found a few bored housewives who like to think the whole world is a giant soap opera.

Sorry, sometimes real world grown-ups need to find a way to co-exist with people and situations that aren't easy breezy. I know it can be hard to understand but it really does happen, in school, at work and even in families.



It seems some of you guys are friends, do you do this tag team thing a lot or am I just special? Also, I've just got to ask, am I on my way to divorce, sanctimonious or a martyr? It would seem that all 3 would be very tiresome especially since I've only been posting about her being a pill for the past month or so.

Here I was thinking I just had a PITA for a MIL

 

[SpecialK]

This is more like a pebble in the shoe, I wish it wouldn't be there but its not like it is going to keep me from my destination... that would be pathetic.

I post about it because the woman perplexes me, not because it shatters my world.

The only thing more ridiculous than my circumstances is people thinking it's painful, it's not, it's ridiculous, no more & no less. It's a PITA but crappy & miserable, naaahhhh.

Someone who is "perplexed" does not invest this amount of time in a conflict. You come across as angry and spiteful.

You post like you want to win.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Someone who is "perplexed" does not invest this amount of time in a conflict. You come across as angry and spiteful.

You post like you want to win.

Win what? There is no winning. When people are annoying they just 'are'.

BTW, I am angry and can be very spiteful... I just won't do it when it comes to my DH and kids so therein lies the frustration which is why I've been posting. Some things are sacred.

I don't like when people in my world mess with me intentionally and I like it less when I am stuck with them.

 

[piperdown]

OP...I get it. I followed the cheesecake thread and this one as well. I do get where you're coming from. Sounds like MIL is a minor annoyance in an otherwise good life. Seems to me your just wanted to vent a little and thought others might enjoy following along with the craziness.

I think you're doing what is best for your family (DH & kids) and your heart is in the right place.

Best of luck!!

 

[WDSearcher]

I don't hate the person, I hate manure stirring and I can smell things being stirred. Sometimes, when you know people really well and see them going through certain motions over & over again you can tell where things are headed before you even get there. You wouldn't believe what she says about my BIL, so I can only imagine what is being said about me

MIL was just talking about moving down to the shore home they inherited, and she has mentioned moving to Miami with SIL. I think it's only a matter of time before they fly the coop otherwise i would seriously consider going.

Back-story, MIL's sister habitually abandons her husband and totally abandoned her kids when she divorced her first DH. She thinks nothing of going months without speaking to her daughters. Not exactly a good influence on MIL.

I have to admit that I'm with the "why do you take this?" camp. My gosh ... you seem to be positively thriving on the drama! If you weren't spending so much time sniffing in that direction, you wouldn't smell all the manure being stirred, if you get my drift. You're watching and waiting for the next thing so that you can complain about it, and I suspect that if nothing happened for the next 24 hours, you'd complain that "it's too quiet over there; I know something is going on." For goodness sake, stop!

Now, I expect the response will be, "I'm not inviting this, it's just happening" and "I can't NOT smell the manure -- it's right next door." But what seems evident is that, in some strange way, you're enjoying all of this. You're enjoying coming here and complaining about the next thing and then adding onto that what you think the thing after that will be. And then you get all this validation of how crazy she is and how right you are. You're enjoying it the exact same way your MIL is ... in fact, I see very little difference. She's being your victim and you're being hers. Until one of you stops playing, the game will never end.

 

[SaraJayne]

OP...I get it. I followed the cheesecake thread and this one as well. I do get where you're coming from. Sounds like MIL is a minor annoyance in an otherwise good life. Seems to me your just wanted to vent a little and thought others might enjoy following along with the craziness.

I think you're doing what is best for your family (DH & kids) and your heart is in the right place.

Best of luck!!

If you read some of her older posts, she's had "issues" with her MIL since the beginning of her marriage. She talks about her MIL a lot.

LuvOrlando, if it makes you feel better, you can call me whatever kind of names you want. It doesn't change the fact you thrive on the drama/conflict.

Just becomes posters have the same opinion about your situation doesn't mean we're BFF's.

This will be my last post in the thread, since I don't buy the portrayal of you being the victim. For the last time, you get something out of it. If you didn't, you'd change it.

 

[SpecialK]

I see I have found a few bored housewives who like to think the whole world is a giant soap opera.

Sorry, sometimes real world grown-ups need to find a way to co-exist with people and situations that aren't easy breezy. I know it can be hard to understand but it really does happen, in school, at work and even in families.



It seems some of you guys are friends, do you do this tag team thing a lot or am I just special? Also, I've just got to ask, am I on my way to divorce, sanctimonious or a martyr? It would seem that all 3 would be very tiresome especially since I've only been posting about her being a pill for the past month or so.

Here I was thinking I just had a PITA for a MIL

Pot, meet kettle!

This from a woman who had an entire thread about drawing a line in the sand about a freaking CHEESECAKE of all things? I'd be willing to bet your MIL feels she has a PITA for a daughter-in-law as well.

And by the way, are people who disagree with your melodrama immediately labeled as a tag-team of friends who are out to get you? Give me a break.

 

[LuvOrlando]

OP...I get it. I followed the cheesecake thread and this one as well. I do get where you're coming from. Sounds like MIL is a minor annoyance in an otherwise good life. Seems to me your just wanted to vent a little and thought others might enjoy following along with the craziness.

I think you're doing what is best for your family (DH & kids) and your heart is in the right place.

Best of luck!!

Thanks for that

 

[LuvOrlando]

Funny that this thread suddenly reminds me of what it was like back in my all girls high school... sometimes you just have to let the wasps sting until they are dry.

 

[Anna_Marie]

I just think everyone is making this out to be a bigger deal than it is....in my eyes the OP was just venting and making conversation.

 

[tlbwriter]

Pot, meet kettle!

This from a woman who had an entire thread about drawing a line in the sand about a freaking CHEESECAKE of all things? I'd be willing to bet your MIL feels she has a PITA for a daughter-in-law as well.

LOL! If you read the cheesecake thread and thought it was actually about cheesecake, you need to read it again. It was about her MIL being a demanding bully.

 

[LuvOrlando]

WOW, 2 who get me in a row... thank you for stepping up and being supportive, as always its much appreciated