How close are you to your breaking point?

[bethbuchall]

That sounds incredibly difficult, like you never get a moment of being at peace because of the constant worry about others. I don't have any remedies to offer, but I do somewhat understand. The worry you describe, and the the tragic experiences you've had that may be contributing it, well, I've been there, too.

Mine isn't as bad because I don't have the past experiences, but I think that you summed it up with the not getting a moment of peace because of worry about others. I'm trying not to, but I can't stop that worry, mostly about my college-aged student who is home and struggling with not only school work but with some anxiety/depression. I thought it would be easier with him here where I can see him, but I'm not sure that it is.

 

[hsmamato2]

And yet they can still see close family in their stay at home order guidelines. It’s a risk we all had to consider. Family who are exposed or at risk didn’t come (or weren’t invited). Those who came were all adults with the exception of my DS & his 7 year old cousin & were capable of making their own decisions.

NY and NJ are a nightmare right now. You don't want to use them as examples. I'm in the NE,and we're living out what most of you don't know right now. Like I said, my friends work in the local hospital and the town hall- processing labwork and paperwork related to the deaths in our area. This is what frustrates me, I know whats happening in our few local states,I can see the effects, so when I see that elsewhere someone might think it's not a big deal....I know what I STILL have to do here. But breaking point? NO.
---ETA----- I wanted to add....I'm really sympathetic to all those here who are struggling..... I know it's tough ,I really feel for my mom who lives alone. I hope that all of you/us can find some comfort in online chats and video conversations.

 

[MamaLema]

So I have a question for those not visiting friends & family, do you plan until there is a vaccine or cure before you see them again?

I see my mom every week. She stays on the porch and I stay in the driveway. As for really visiting, I live in a hotspot and will wait until cases go down in our area and Public Health says it’s ok. We are nowhere near that where I live.

 

[ronandannette]

I see my mom every week. She stays on the porch and I stay in the driveway. As for really visiting, I live in a hotspot and will wait until cases go down in our area and Public Health says it’s ok. We are nowhere near that where I live.

One can only wait and wonder...I think it was during yesterday’s Prime Ministerial briefing that I first heard waiting for a reliable treatment or vaccine officially mentioned. To a point these are decisions made at the provincial level but I really doubt Saskatchewan (or any other province) is going to be reopening near as soon as they originally planned. Last week it was announced that Calgary-region at least, is looking at at target date now of August 31. That was a real gut punch, morale-wise.

 

[mrodgers]

As I said to my wife the other night- as a very introverted person, I've prepared my entire life for this moment.

Same here, I'm fine. I was and still am working through this thankfully. I go to work, I come home, I eat dinner, chill for a bit, and go to bed. Occasionally I get home early enough to do something and last night pulled the motorcycle out of the shed to clean it up and went on a short first ride of the year. I have a bicycle that's out of commission at the moment as my Amazon cart keeps getting fuller and this or that is out of stock, I haven't gotten my replacement parts or I would typically spend an hour to hour and a half riding out to the lake to eat dinner.

Weekends I either have the kids come in to my place or I go out there. The ex has a lot of problems with the house and she'll cook me the 2nd best lasagna if I help her out (her mother's would be the best.) I installed a new toilet and a floor in the bathroom. Fixed the drain on the sink, fixed a leaking faucet in the basement, pulled the burnt wire out of the wall after a lightning strike, and fixed the well pump switch that broke, blew off the pipe going to the tank and was flowing a 1 inch solid stream of water into the basement. I hang with the kids, practice some home repair skills on someone else's house, have something that takes up my time, and get a home cooked meal.

The only thing I'm missing is we liked to day travel somewhere and have a bite to eat in a restaurant. Instead, now that the weather is getting nice, we can do that, but take a picnic lunch instead, or order it for pick-up.

 

[soccerdad72]

Our state (Ohio) is beginning to 'open' on Friday, but it's pretty minimal to start on May 1st. May 12th, some retail is opening, but still nothing involving restaurants, hair/nail places or other entertainment. Companies that can still do work from home arrangements are being asked to continue to do so for the near future.

Our biggest question is involving the orders to limit gatherings to under 10 people (which still referring to stay-at-home orders). Mainly, whether that means we could allow our son to have 4 or 5 friends over (if their families would even feel comfortable with it) for my son's 15th birthday, especially if they're outside and managing social distancing. That is probably the next 'break' I would envision for my family.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

BUT....all this talk of a "peak" is misleading. A true "peak" means at best, a halfway mark. There is still the other side of the mountain to go down after that happens.

Everything has been centered around peak be it hospital resources (ICU beds, hospital beds in general, etc), hospitalization rate, and death rate.

The peak was the benchmark to get to with the understanding that once that was met you can more or less start to consider what's at the end of the tunnel. Prior to that concentration was to be focused on other things. That's why people have gotten frustrated because they've been told they've already hit peak, some weeks ago, but there's not been talks for some people what will be done next or their stay at home is extended further out. When that's done people have seen that the models act like what amounts to of an extinction of the virus for now as opposed to management of it and that's frustrating because that wasn't discussed before or using your words waiting til the other side of the mountain is completely flat. Hence the reason you see the discussion on moving goal posts.

 

[luvsJack]

My daughter and her 2 kids stayed home for 2 weeks and then came to live with us for 3 weeks. Her husband had to go work at a different facility for 48 days. So it was our little chaotic life. Her husband is home now and his boss told him he had to quarantine for 14 days And cannot come back to work. We told our daughter to stay with us, but she felt we were all at our breaking point. I really do not want to get into it, but the kids have been the healthiest they have ever been since they started going to daycare.. I talked to my other adult kids and they said too, their toddlers are sleeping better, it is not one cold, strep throat, ear infection after another. Not to be mean, but the last 3 years, I have gotten the stomache flu, twice, colds and coughs from my Grandchildren. I have always washed my hands, but holding them and rocking them to sleep, I never thought twice about changing clothes and quickly taking a shower and this is where the germs were.

Sort of OT but your kids may want to have a conversation with their child care centers. They need to find out the cleaning policies and procedures, when or if they wear gloves ever and those procedures.

While colds are going to be constant during pre-school years, strep throat and other contagious illnesses shouldn’t be as prevalent as you are suggesting. Ear infections aren’t contagious but some kids get them with every cold and it’s more the age than it is the center.

Anyway, when we had the center we were able to keep down contagious illnesses running through the center by following our health dept’s cleaning procedures to a “T”. It’s a lot of work and constant cleaning but it does help. We used just simple bleach water on everything. It also takes them investing in enough toys and activities that they can be switched out a few times a day to be cleaned. And airing the building out every day.

As for gloves, we used them for changing babies and helping little ones in the bathroom. But one kid=one pair of gloves. And you can’t touch anything with the gloves on that you don’t clean afterwards.

 

[mom2rtk]

If it has to be, it has to be. But I certainly don't judge anyone for complaining about it.

Lots of others who will. And have.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Breaking point? It's only been 5 weeks.

When you are worrying about how to pay your rent or how you’ll buy food next week or how you’ll afford to take your kid to the doctor because you lost your job and health insurance.....five weeks is a LOT.

My brother does a lot of side jobs. That makes up over half his income. That’s gone right now and has been for about 6 weeks and he won’t get unemployment for that. Last week he just lost his full time job. And on top of all this he pays child support for his oldest. He’s at his breaking point. I’m sure his ex is going to feel it too since their son just lost his health insurance.

 

[pryncess527]

Also, some of us locked down more than 5 weeks ago. Im on week 10, with at least 8 more to go

 

[Searc]

Also, some of us locked down more than 5 weeks ago. Im on week 10, with at least 8 more to go

You've been on lockdown since mid-February?

 

[pryncess527]

You've been on lockdown since mid-February?

I havent entered a store since Feb 24 & my husband started working from home on the 26th. All employees at his job started March 5th.

 

[Jrb1979]

Everything has been centered around peak be it hospital resources (ICU beds, hospital beds in general, etc), hospitalization rate, and death rate.

The peak was the benchmark to get to with the understanding that once that was met you can more or less start to consider what's at the end of the tunnel. Prior to that concentration was to be focused on other things. That's why people have gotten frustrated because they've been told they've already hit peak, some weeks ago, but there's not been talks for some people what will be done next or their stay at home is extended further out. When that's done people have seen that the models act like what amounts to of an extinction of the virus for now as opposed to management of it and that's frustrating because that wasn't discussed before or using your words waiting til the other side of the mountain is completely flat. Hence the reason you see the discussion on moving goal posts.

I think the reason for the "moving of goal posts" is that most people can't follow rules. Its already happening in places. As soon as they start reopening beaches and other parks people flock to them. Some still follow social distancing but a lot don't.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

I think the reason for the "moving of goal posts" is that most people can't follow rules. Its already happening in places. As soon as they start reopening beaches and other parks people flock to them. Some still follow social distancing but a lot don't.

There’s always going to be a level of non-compliance that I think was taken into consideration. Like how shoplifting is a line item in the budget for most stores. I think that “rule-breakers” tends to make the news.

I personally think the moving goal posts has more to do with a fear that they won’t be able to get people back home for a second time, especially if it happens soon. It’s much easier to keep people at home (you’ll get a few more in non compliance as time goes on) for longer than to let them out and then get them back in. People/businesses are adapting the best they can finally getting benefits or moving forward with new programs, but to flip flop or turn everything off again would be even more disruptive. The clock on all these things would just start over and the damage will be too much.

I also think those in charge of these decisions know there are other factors to consider but are scared of numbers rising and their decisions coming under fire. The ones screaming “keep things locked down until this is gone” seem to be the loudest voices. The criticisms and headlines right now all focus on doing things too soon. The people saying it’s time to get things moving are being accused of throwing life away for profit.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I think the reason for the "moving of goal posts" is that most people can't follow rules. Its already happening in places. As soon as they start reopening beaches and other parks people flock to them. Some still follow social distancing but a lot don't.

People like to say "if only you would follow the rules". The goal post comment is related to what we started out which was managing the virus, ensuring our healthcare systems didn't reach critical mass level, giving ourselves the ability to have a more handling on it, etc. Waiting to reopen/extending stay at home orders til there are 3 cases per day in my state (1 per 1million people) as one model advised is not about managing the virus or ensuring the healthcare system didn't reach critical mass, that's not about dealing with the virus but about waiting til there's such little measurable presence out there.

Just because you were out does not mean you got the virus, just because you got the virus does not mean you were hospitalized (thus using up resources), just because you got the virus does not mean you died from it (thus included in the death rates). When we're talking about peaks in that respect it's a connection one cannot make by mere sight alone. It is absolutely advisable to continue adhering to one's stay at home order or what the health official in one's area is advising. Reducing exposure is very important but the mere sight of people on a beach should not mean a governor or city or county official should extend the stay at home order. That's been what a lot of people connect things with though.

I've mentioned it before that I have a friend on FB who complains about people not adhering to the stay at home order and yet she's mentioned on FB going out to 4 or 5 places in a day because she couldn't get what she needed/wanted in one place. Yes well you're not really supposed to be doing that. She's increasing her exposure the more places she goes to but in her mind because she's limited her gatherings, isn't getting really close to her friends or loved ones she's perfect and it's all the other people who are the problem.

Personally I've been careful in associating the whole "most people can't follow rules" thing because that's not all that goes on. I've seen how my state's education department went from "we don't recommend schools close" to a few days later "we recommend schools closed" to then my governor closing all school buildings for the rest of the year and moving online. I've seen places that have hit peaks weeks ago and yet extended their stay at home for several more weeks, I've seen places use an extension to be much more restrictive and in some places less restrictive, I've seen places be restrictive on things that are generally low risk but provide citizens with outlets, etc.

 

[SaintsManiac]

To me the "moving of the goalposts" keeps happening because of how much we learn every single day about this virus. How many more tests we can get done. How much PPE we acquire, etc. How can they give a fixed date when no one knows anything? We learn every day about this thing.

 

[Jrb1979]

Here in Canada the government is taking it very slowly. They just now are talking about reopening things. Almost all concerts, fairs and festivals are cancelled for the rest of the year. Canada's Wonderland, which is a Cedar Fair park, is most likely not opening this season.

 

[pryncess527]

To me the "moving of the goalposts" keeps happening because of how much we learn every single day about this virus. How many more tests we can get done. How much PPE we acquire, etc. How can they give a fixed date when no one knows anything? We learn every day about this thing.

Not to nention the promises of widespread testing just havent panned out. Perhaps if those statements made in March had been true, we wouldnt have to move the goals.
Or if those promises hadnt been made, people wouldnt have had expectations based on a testing capacity rhat still does not exist

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

To me the "moving of the goalposts" keeps happening because of how much we learn every single day about this virus. How many more tests we can get done. How much PPE we acquire, etc. How can they give a fixed date when no one knows anything? We learn every day about this thing.

In theory I would agree with you but in practice that's not necessarily what I've been seeing. You can continue on with life, slowly/gradually reopening things and yet still understand you need to test more people, PPE levels need to be adequate, etc but I think in some states a regional approach would be better suited than an entire state level. Not everywhere in an entire state is hit the same way or for lack of a better description the same risk factors.

And largely these models are not taking that into consideration. They are simply models without consideration to individual characteristics of one's own state or the methods areas within the state took and when but they are models driving the narrative for a lot of things.