House Guest Rant!

[Missy1961]

My dad is turning 80 this month and we planned a party--it was yesterday. 4 of my siblings live in VA, and we were having the party here in NY. My sister's house was full--my sister, her husband & 3 kids, another sister and 2 members of the extended family were staying there. My older brother and his family went to a hotel. My younger brother, his wife and 4 kids (ages 9, 7 and twins, 3) asked if they could stay with my dad & me. We have plenty of room, it was only going to be Friday night, Saturday before & after the party, and they were going to leave after lunch tomorrow. So, no problem, right?

WRONG! I had to go to the grocery store yesterday morning, so I asked if there was anything they wanted. They asked for skim milk, no problem. Before I left, my nephew wanted some cereal. Dad & I don't eat it much, but I had a box (never opened) of Honey Bunches of Oats, I told him he could open it. There were 2 apples, my dad had a carton & half of OJ, I had grape juice (not too much left). Well, when dad & I left to go to my sister's this morning for brunch, I noticed the empty box of cereal in the garbarge! They ate the whole box in 2 days! The apples are gone, they finished the OJ, and my sister in law told my dad "I finished the grape juice because there wasn't any OJ left". They used every glass, my brother left a mess when he made sausages & peppers for the party, and my sister in law never took the bath mat out of the shower--which is how she found it when she went in. Dad & I were biting our tongues, but we did get a bit of good news--they decided to leave today, rather than tomorrow--so we have the house back! Thank goodness, they won't be back for a while.

 

[MELSMICE]

In their defense, a family of 6 eats ALOT of food but...........they should have stopped at the store before arriving to get what they wanted, replaced what they had used or left money so you could replace it.

Glad you now have your house back. I love having house guests, but I'm usually a little relieved when it's time for them to leave.

 

[mcnuss]

I'm sorry, but I think that if you have people in your house, you feed them. They should not be expected to buy groceries on their way to your home. They should not have left a mess, however.

My suspicion is that they left early because you did not show much in the way of hospitality. And if your ears were burning today, it's likely because they don't have anything nicer to say about you than you did about them....

 

[dcgrumpy]

One box of cereal and 2 apples for 6 people over a 2 day period doesn't sound like too much to me. I would guess a box of cereal only had about 10 bowls in it.

 

[wilderness01]

I agree food should be provided when you are hosting family/friends. However I also think that the family/friends need to be considerate and not leave a mess for the homeowner to clean up. That is just plain rude and uncalled for.

 

[MELSMICE]

I'm sorry, but I think that if you have people in your house, you feed them. They should not be expected to buy groceries on their way to your home. They should not have left a mess, however.

I do agree with this, but when I go to someone else's home I always feel funny staying for a few days & not "contributing" for food.

 

[summerrluvv]

That doesn't sound like very much food for two days for six people. Of course, you are probably just used to it being your dad and you so you don't go through food quickly.

 

[Missy1961]

I'm sorry, but I think that if you have people in your house, you feed them. They should not be expected to buy groceries on their way to your home. They should not have left a mess, however.

My suspicion is that they left early because you did not show much in the way of hospitality. And if your ears were burning today, it's likely because they don't have anything nicer to say about you than you did about them....

I don't think that this is fair.....I asked them 3 or 4 times before I left if they wanted anything--I never would have asked them to pay for it, I don't know what they feed their kids. I also didn't post about the kids jumping on the furniture, the towels they left in the bathroom, the box of granola bars they finished and the one they opened without asking. My other brother and his family have stayed with us for longer periods of time, but they've always been great guests--they are honest with me and tell me what they would like so I can get it for them. They ask before opening things, they don't leave a mess--in fact, they leave things better than they found them.

 

[summerrluvv]

I don't think that this is fair.....I asked them 3 or 4 times before I left if they wanted anything--I never would have asked them to pay for it, I don't know what they feed their kids. I also didn't post about the kids jumping on the furniture, the towels they left in the bathroom, the box of granola bars they finished and the one they opened without asking. My other brother and his family have stayed with us for longer periods of time, but they've always been great guests--they are honest with me and tell me what they would like so I can get it for them. They ask before opening things, they don't leave a mess--in fact, they leave things better than they found them.

I don't agree with them leaving a mess, that's awful. As far as the food, perhaps they felt like they were imposing if they had spoken up and said "pick me up this...or that...". Did you really expect them not to eat anything at all for two days though?

 

[Missy1961]

One box of cereal and 2 apples for 6 people over a 2 day period doesn't sound like too much to me. I would guess a box of cereal only had about 10 bowls in it.

I agree, but they didn't tell me they finished it. And all of them didn't eat it--just my 3 nephews--the 9 yr old & the 2 3 yr olds--so that's a bit much for 3 kids.

 

[patrenoe]

Maybe I'm nuts but I would never require any guest that I invited to my home to have to ask permission before opening a box of any food item let alone a box of granola bars. When we know we are having friends or family stay over even for 1 or 2 nights we make sure we have plenty of food and drinks in the house. Maybe its my Girl Scout training to Be Prepared. JMO

 

[lulugirl]

Your family has to ask permission before opening a box of granola bars?

 

[Missy1961]

I don't agree with them leaving a mess, that's awful. As far as the food, perhaps they felt like they were imposing if they had spoken up and said "pick me up this...or that...". Did you really expect them not to eat anything at all for two days though?

Of course I expected them to eat. I didn't know what they wanted, that is why I waited to go shopping (I was going at 6:30 in the morning on Saturday) and I told them we didn't have too much cereal. BTW, that wasn't the only box we had--we had Rice Krispies, some corn flakes. We had 2 dozen eggs. My dad went to get bagels. So we weren't starving them. Before they decided to leave, we went to the store on the way home from Mass, we got more juice, some bread, etc.

 

[poohbears5]

That really isn't too much for three children, believe me I have 5 growing children they eat alot as they are growing .

 

[diznygirl]

IMHO you are being unreasonable. But lucky you, they have left. And lucky them, they have left!

 

[MELSMICE]

I agree, but they didn't tell me they finished it. And all of them didn't eat it--just my 3 nephews--the 9 yr old & the 2 3 yr olds--so that's a bit much for 3 kids.

One box of cereal for 3 boys is not a lot. My brother used to finish a box himself in a day or two.

 

[dg39]

Everyone is different, I understand that. When I have house guests, I do a super full shopping. I get sooo much food, snacks, drinks and anything else I can think of that they will enjoy, before they come, so I'm fully prepared. Especially when kids are coming over. I have 3 of my own, plus alot of their friends are always over, so I know that food and snacks go like water. As a matter of fact, my kids love when guests are over, they get lots of goodies, I wouldn't normally buy. As for guests leaving a mess, while I don't expect, nor do I want them to clean, I do appreciate when they pick up after themselves. I don't really mind the mess though, because I do enjoy when we have company and we do have alot especially in the summer.

 

[Nancy]

Your family has to ask permission before opening a box of granola bars?

When I go to my sisters house I would never open a box without asking if it was ok first. My sister's will ask me what foods we like but I always stop and get our favorites as soon as we get there, or I bring stuff with us. As far as cereal goes, my 3 girls can go through 1 box in 2 days easily. We clean up after ourselves and always ask permission to use anything...yes they are my sisters, but it is not my house, it is theirs. I don't even get someting to eat or drink from my Mom's house without asking if it is ok first.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

If it had of been me visiting I would have gone to the store with you. I could have either purchased the items or at least offered to buy them.

Before we have guests I try to plan out some meals and make sure we have a variety of food in the house for whatever meals we'll be eating at home. I also ask before the guests arrive if there's anything special they might want. Actually, at this point I usually know my guests well enough to not have to ask (ie, I know that my MIL likes a lot of fat-free foods and my FIL needs Lactaid milk--at least I think that's what it's called).

The mess that was left would bother me. We always leave things better than what we found it. Of course we use towels, etc, but I collect the dirty towels before we leave and bring them to the laundry room. I help clean up after a meal and if we're helping ourself I make sure we clean up.

 

[S. C.]

Maybe I'm nuts but I would never require any guest that I invited to my home to have to ask permission before opening a box of any food item let alone a box of granola bars. When we know we are having friends or family stay over even for 1 or 2 nights we make sure we have plenty of food and drinks in the house. Maybe its my Girl Scout training to Be Prepared. JMO

While I agree with what you said. The OP said that her brother & family asked if they could stay with them! If I had invited myself I would also bring enough food for my family & the homeowners.

Everytime we stayed with MIL & FIL at their home I always cleaned the day we left & would leave their home as clean if not cleaner than it was when we got there.