Hoping the Rain Stays Away-We're Going Back in May-TR started

[MaryAz]

Mary- I don't have any advice for you but I've read some of the other posts and they have some great ideas. I hope you get it worked out. 25 students in the class seems like a lot to me. Juliana is currently in a class of 7 kids so it is basically one on one interaction. There are 2 classes that has an aide that floats between the two. But it is only 3yr old pre-K.

Thanks Tim, C's pre school class also has 7 in it. Her teacher is fabulous!! I also spoke with her today (has a son also in K and a daughter in 2nd-same sxhool as A)

 

[ladybugmom]

What a great repsonse Becky, thanks so much. I figured you were in a similar situation with Ally. They do have AR at her school. In K they do "bookworm" which are way below Avery's level. The books she reads take her awhile to complete but she does do book reports on them. I am going to ask about AR at the conference. The teacher does group them for "literacy centers" Thre is another little girl who is at A's level or higher. She is a behavior issue and a little "quirky" WHat a great teacher you must have been! I love the busy basket idea. Also going to bring that up! I think K is a hard year all around. Like you said the kids are on so many different levels!!

No problem!! Yeah--they do reading groups in Ally's class and she's in the highest group--however what they're reading is a joke. It's nowhere near the level Ally is on! They also do reading buddies with a 3rd grade class (3rd graders are paired with K students and they read books to them and help them take AR tests). Yet Ally is reading on a higher level than her reading buddy?! Not sure how that happened?! It's so frustrating! Her teacher is so sweet but I don't think she has any idea how to challenge her!

 

[MHTeacher]

deleted post

 

[racefanof88]

Thanks for saying that Mary. I guess I looked at it the wrong way. Tyler is a very intelligent person and his kindergarten teacher and I butted heads. I pulled Amanda and him out of the private school I had them in because of that teacher. This is what she told me during a teacher/parent conference "Tyler is just not mature enough to be promoted to first grade. He scored the highest in the class on the CAT and I could have just spanked him for that ." I lost it, I went to the principle and told her that I would not be sending Amanda and Tyler back to that school and I would suggest she get rid of that teacher. I was furious . Had it not been so close to the end of the year I would have pulled them out of that school that minute. She sent notes homes EVERY day about something Tyler had done. Talking, touching the walls, STEPPING ON ANTS, yes I actually got a note home about him stepping on some ants. I still have that note because I thought it was absolutely the STUPIDEST thing a grown woman, with an education, could possible write. I'm sure you don't have the same situation, but that was my bad experience.

 

[Charleston Princess]

Good morning, Mary! What a tough situation! What concerns me the most is that Avery is bored and not wanting to go to school. You don't want that to continue. She definitely needs to be tested for gifted services in the spring, but I wonder what the gifted program is like in Arizona. Is it a one-day pull-out enrichment class or will she be placed in a more challenging class overall? Also, when is Avery's birthday? Is skipping to first grade an option? I don't normally advocate grade skipping, but if she is already one of the oldest in her class, it may be a good idea if she has already mastered many of the kindergarten skills and concepts.

I think Becky's suggestions are wonderful! It made me wish she had been my children's kindergarten teacher.

 

[MeMom]

I think the biggest thing is just to make sure that she understands that even though what they are working on might be easy for her, it's not easy for everyone. I have a talker myself, and believe it or not, it's not my crazy younger one! Justin, whose in 8th grade now, has been a talker his entire school career. All through grade school I heard the same thing from his teachers: "Justin is smart, never disrespectful, eager to help, but boy he sure likes the sound of his own voice!"

I have no words of wisdom on how to deal with it, we've tried the stern talking to, we've tried taking things away, etc. Nothing really worked all that well, and on the bright side, as he has gotten older he is growing out of it. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Jr High is much more challenging and he's also in some honors classes so he has to keep his mouth shut and pay attention!

I do agree that you should ask her teacher if she can read in lieu of doing centers if that is the main time that she is being disruptive. Good luck!

Sounds like you have a lot of heartfelt advice from your good DIS friends. I probably would not have commented at all if you had not specifically asked, because I am not much of an advice-giver.

This post stuck out most to me. I have a student now who talks nearly non-stop. He is bright, but his constant talking keeps others from focusing, and that is my concern as the teacher of all of them. I do give him extra work and extra jobs very often to let the other kids have a chance to catch up, but as soon as he goes back to the table, he goes right into talking overdrive again. His parents have done the stern talking, threatening, etc., and are supportive of me, but C is just a talker by nature and nothing is going to stop him!

Yesterday, at dismissal, two boys were trying to talk to each other, and C was trying to tell one of those boys something. He kept saying, "D, can I tell you something?" over and over, and D kept ignoring him, as he was talking to another friend. Finally, D said, "C, do you EVER stop talking???" It may take the kids just working things out like that among themselves in a not so pretty way sometimes for him to realize that he has to let others talk, too. It doesn't sound like your situation is that drastic, but this student is just what came to my mind immediately when I read your predicament.

It is great that he has such a wonderful vocabulary, and he is such a fun kid to talk to when it is time to talk, but during work time, his talking is a problem. I don't want to stifle his enthusiasm for learning, but he also needs to learn some self-control before it affects his ability to have friends without monopolizing conversations.

If Avery can read instead of doing centers sometimes, since that seems to be an issue, that might be best for all. It is a difficult situation for everyone - the teacher who has to be sure all students are getting what they need, the parents who want their children to follow the rules, and the children who are just being who they are.

It shows what a good mom you are that you want to seek advice on the situation and that you are so willing to support both your child and the teacher in this situation.

 

[MaryAz]

deleted post

Hi
I am sorry you felt you needed to delete your post. I did read it last night but did not have time to respond. I appreciated where you were coming from. I am trying to figure out what is appropriate and what is not. Please do not feel like you can't express your opinion. Thats what I asked for

Hey, your ticker is the same is mine!!! I think you posted on Becky's report. WHere are you staying??

 

[MaryAz]

Thanks for saying that Mary. I guess I looked at it the wrong way. Tyler is a very intelligent person and his kindergarten teacher and I butted heads. I pulled Amanda and him out of the private school I had them in because of that teacher. This is what she told me during a teacher/parent conference "Tyler is just not mature enough to be promoted to first grade. He scored the highest in the class on the CAT and I could have just spanked him for that ." I lost it, I went to the principle and told her that I would not be sending Amanda and Tyler back to that school and I would suggest she get rid of that teacher. I was furious . Had it not been so close to the end of the year I would have pulled them out of that school that minute. She sent notes homes EVERY day about something Tyler had done. Talking, touching the walls, STEPPING ON ANTS, yes I actually got a note home about him stepping on some ants. I still have that note because I thought it was absolutely the STUPIDEST thing a grown woman, with an education, could possible write. I'm sure you don't have the same situation, but that was my bad experience.

Dana, that is just awful. How rude! Avery's teacher really likes her. But I have got notes home that said "playing with her hair" I do not envy her job and don't want to make it harder I just want to make sure my girl is getting all she can out of school and liking it.

 

[MaryAz]

Good morning, Mary! What a tough situation! What concerns me the most is that Avery is bored and not wanting to go to school. You don't want that to continue. She definitely needs to be tested for gifted services in the spring, but I wonder what the gifted program is like in Arizona. Is it a one-day pull-out enrichment class or will she be placed in a more challenging class overall? Also, when is Avery's birthday? Is skipping to first grade an option? I don't normally advocate grade skipping, but if she is already one of the oldest in her class, it may be a good idea if she has already mastered many of the kindergarten skills and concepts.

I think Becky's suggestions are wonderful! It made me wish she had been my children's kindergarten teacher.

Hi CP!! That is what is making me sad as well. It would be a "cluster class" for first grade. I am not sure exactly what that means. There is also a possibiliity that she could be moved a school with a dedicated gifted program. She would be in that class but "mainstreamed" for pe and specials. I am really not sure how I feel about that. I think you have to be in the top 3% to qualify. She is an April bday so on the younger side. I think she needs K for the social aspect-she is not immature but she is chatty. I hope the teacher can clarify what my options are.

 

[MHTeacher]

Hi
I am sorry you felt you needed to delete your post. I did read it last night but did not have time to respond. I appreciated where you were coming from. I am trying to figure out what is appropriate and what is not. Please do not feel like you can't express your opinion. Thats what I asked for

Hey, your ticker is the same is mine!!! I think you posted on Becky's report. WHere are you staying??

Hey Mary....I just didn't want you or anyone to read it and think I was being snotty or making light of your situation, because that was definitely not my intention, so I deleted that post.

As I said, my 13 year old DD is still a big talker in class, but she is a good kid. Since I've spent most my teaching life in middle school/high school, I just know there are so many negative things a child can become involved with. I guess if the worse thing Rachel does during her growing up years is to talk too much at school, I will be lucky!

YAY for tickers to Disney! We haven't decided where to stay. I can get the AP room discount, so I've been running numbers like crazy. Right now, I'm leaning toward Beach Club. We stayed at YC over New Years, and my kids really want to return so they can try out that awesome pool!

Did I see that you're staying at Poly? or are all my DIS pre-trips running together? If you are.....I'm jealous! Love the Poly!

 

[MaryAz]

Sounds like you have a lot of heartfelt advice from your good DIS friends. I probably would not have commented at all if you had not specifically asked, because I am not much of an advice-giver.

This post stuck out most to me. I have a student now who talks nearly non-stop. He is bright, but his constant talking keeps others from focusing, and that is my concern as the teacher of all of them. I do give him extra work and extra jobs very often to let the other kids have a chance to catch up, but as soon as he goes back to the table, he goes right into talking overdrive again. His parents have done the stern talking, threatening, etc., and are supportive of me, but C is just a talker by nature and nothing is going to stop him!

Yesterday, at dismissal, two boys were trying to talk to each other, and C was trying to tell one of those boys something. He kept saying, "D, can I tell you something?" over and over, and D kept ignoring him, as he was talking to another friend. Finally, D said, "C, do you EVER stop talking???" It may take the kids just working things out like that among themselves in a not so pretty way sometimes for him to realize that he has to let others talk, too. It doesn't sound like your situation is that drastic, but this student is just what came to my mind immediately when I read your predicament.

It is great that he has such a wonderful vocabulary, and he is such a fun kid to talk to when it is time to talk, but during work time, his talking is a problem. I don't want to stifle his enthusiasm for learning, but he also needs to learn some self-control before it affects his ability to have friends without monopolizing conversations.

If Avery can read instead of doing centers sometimes, since that seems to be an issue, that might be best for all. It is a difficult situation for everyone - the teacher who has to be sure all students are getting what they need, the parents who want their children to follow the rules, and the children who are just being who they are.

It shows what a good mom you are that you want to seek advice on the situation and that you are so willing to support both your child and the teacher in this situation.

Thank you for commenting. I appreciate it. Avery is not a major disruption like you described C to be. She generally talks when they should be whispering and quietly to the person next to her. She does at times talk at calendar when others are trying to learn. That is when we are quick to point out that it is not ok to disrupt others learning. The other "gifted" child also a C does fit that description. She and about 2 others. The teacher does need to do a lot of redirecting but they are 5 A overall is a very sweet sensitive child who is very well liked by her teacher and classmates. I just want to make sure school is a good experience for her.

 

[eandesmom]

Hi CP!! That is what is making me sad as well. It would be a "cluster class" for first grade. I am not sure exactly what that means. There is also a possibiliity that she could be moved a school with a dedicated gifted program. She would be in that class but "mainstreamed" for pe and specials. I am really not sure how I feel about that. I think you have to be in the top 3% to qualify. She is an April bday so on the younger side. I think she needs K for the social aspect-she is not immature but she is chatty. I hope the teacher can clarify what my options are.

That is the kind of program Eric is in, it started in 2nd though, testing in first, top 3% thing. Dedicated classrooms, most are split grades and they are mainstreamed for PE and Music. Even though we've had drama, and there is drama every where gifted or not, it's been a wonderful thing for him. I personally feel that the dedicated classroom is much better than just being pulled out here or there.

In our district, if you don't test in to the top 3% but were in the top 10% (it's 2 rounds of testing) then those scores are provided to your home school so that in theory the teachers will work with the children at a higher level based on how they did.

Have you reached out for the teacher already to discuss options? I can't recall. You do not have to wait for the conference for that and you might get better results if you have let her know what you want to discuss and she can come prepared with ideas and options.

I know with Eric there was some amount of extra work they could give him and they definitely pushed him on the reading but there are a lot of children to attend to at a very large spread of levels and they have to give time equally. I did find in first that they were much more able to attend to his needs specifically. As they year progressed in K and more children learn how to read, that may free up some teacher time as well.

K is hard no matter what. Kids are chatty, socially awkward at times, at all kinds of academic levels. It's a social minefield that they are ill prepared to deal with walking in and it can cause stress outside of the academics, whether those are too hard, or too easy. I would however be concerned about the tummy and would make sure there isn't anything social going on.
Pulling her out now to home school seems a little premature but that's just me. I do feel strongly that gifted kids in particular need the social interaction.

I am confident you will figure out the solution that is best for your family. I will offer this though. Both of my boys had these kinds of issues in K and in first. Not the not wanting to go to school or tummy issues but the chattiness and not being on task. With plans and reinforcement at home they did get better each year and by third were gone almost entirely.

That chattiness can be coached into being a good team leader and contributor or helping others. Don't get me wrong, both are not always on task, but they aren't distracting others anymore!

 

[SoonerGirl]

As I said, my 13 year old DD is still a big talker in class, but she is a good kid. Since I've spent most my teaching life in middle school/high school, I just know there are so many negative things a child can become involved with. I guess if the worse thing Rachel does during her growing up years is to talk too much at school, I will be lucky!

I kinda feel this way too. I know Justin's talking is an issue because it disrupts other kids ability to learn, but really I have a very hard time being too hard on him because he does everything else right. And it's not like his mouth is going non stop like the kid MeMom described. I can only hope that him being chatty is the worst thing I have to deal with as we go through his teenage years!!

 

[yinyanggirls]

Mary, I'm so glad you asked this question here! I'm soaking it all in. Tessa turned 4 in December and is not supposed to start Kinder next year, but in 2011. I am really hoping to find a way around the age cutoff and get her started this fall. She is a very bright girl and LOVES to learn and investigate. When she was barely three she was sight reading most of the alphabet and a few words. Her reading (number of words) hasn't increased a ton this past year, but she now gets the sounds of the letters, and is starting to sound out everything she comes across. Forgive me for hijacking but you just reminded me of a funny moment last summer. The girls and I were playing in the backyard and Tessa asks me out of nowhere, "Where is Phoebe's P?". I thought she was talking about "pee", LOL. I didn't understand at first, so she repeated the question and then made the P sound, "puh, puh". I explained to her that "PH" sounds like "F" when they are together. I thought, what a brilliant little 3 yr old! I'm not kidding that I have adults (docs offices, etc) get her name wrong ALL the time. Puh-Hoe-Bee??? Really??? Or Foe-Bee. That one makes me laugh. They get that close and still get it wrong???)

I honestly don't know if Tessa's "gifted" but I know she's ready to learn. I think she's ready for Kinder based on the other kids I see her around. After paying 300/month for part time preschool last year, that was basically just a playgroup, I took her out this year and started a co-op with some other moms. We rotate houses and take turns with a letter of the week. Nothing fancy. There are two kids who are starting Kinder this fall who appear to be better readers/writers, but another who is starting who is about the same as her, and the ones who are the same age or younger are far behind her abilities. Socially, I think she'll be fine also.

So you like the teacher, and don't have a problem with the school, but things aren't meshing well for what Avery needs. Do you have any charter schools in the area? My sister lives in Ahwatukee and loves her kids' school (Horizon, I think?). I'm always surprised to hear what the kids are learning at what age but they both love school. The charter school in our area allows 4 yr olds to enter Kinder if they have room and pass an evaluation. That's going to be my first attempt. We also have a private school in the area that has a good pre-k. In the public schools we have to pay for preschool, there is no pre-k or head start or any program for young kids in our area. Arizona's 50th ranking in the nation is probably due to the Tucson area alone.

One other thought, using my special ed experience with Phoebe, so maybe this is not something they'd allow in regular ed, or gifted...maybe explore the idea of her going to a 1st grade class during their reading time? If there is a class that has it at the same time, or could easily adjust the schedule, it would be a great way to test out her ability to work in an accelerated environment. I agree with Jackie, my worst fear is her losing her interest in school and starting to dislike it.

It's hard to find the right fit for our kids, in today's assembly-line education. I really feel for the educators who have to work within the system we have created (and they ALL need BIG raises!!!).

 

[MaryAz]

Hey Mary....I just didn't want you or anyone to read it and think I was being snotty or making light of your situation, because that was definitely not my intention, so I deleted that post.

As I said, my 13 year old DD is still a big talker in class, but she is a good kid. Since I've spent most my teaching life in middle school/high school, I just know there are so many negative things a child can become involved with. I guess if the worse thing Rachel does during her growing up years is to talk too much at school, I will be lucky!

YAY for tickers to Disney! We haven't decided where to stay. I can get the AP room discount, so I've been running numbers like crazy. Right now, I'm leaning toward Beach Club. We stayed at YC over New Years, and my kids really want to return so they can try out that awesome pool!

Did I see that you're staying at Poly? or are all my DIS pre-trips running together? If you are.....I'm jealous! Love the Poly!

I did not think that at all. Just offering your experience. I totally agree. I just don't want her talking to get in the way of someone else's learning.
I think BC looks great. We hope to stay there someday when the girls are a little older. We are at the Poly-thanks to the 40% off code. I am really excited!!

 

[MaryAz]

That is the kind of program Eric is in, it started in 2nd though, testing in first, top 3% thing. Dedicated classrooms, most are split grades and they are mainstreamed for PE and Music. Even though we've had drama, and there is drama every where gifted or not, it's been a wonderful thing for him. I personally feel that the dedicated classroom is much better than just being pulled out here or there.

In our district, if you don't test in to the top 3% but were in the top 10% (it's 2 rounds of testing) then those scores are provided to your home school so that in theory the teachers will work with the children at a higher level based on how they did.

Have you reached out for the teacher already to discuss options? I can't recall. You do not have to wait for the conference for that and you might get better results if you have let her know what you want to discuss and she can come prepared with ideas and options.

I know with Eric there was some amount of extra work they could give him and they definitely pushed him on the reading but there are a lot of children to attend to at a very large spread of levels and they have to give time equally. I did find in first that they were much more able to attend to his needs specifically. As they year progressed in K and more children learn how to read, that may free up some teacher time as well.

K is hard no matter what. Kids are chatty, socially awkward at times, at all kinds of academic levels. It's a social minefield that they are ill prepared to deal with walking in and it can cause stress outside of the academics, whether those are too hard, or too easy. I would however be concerned about the tummy and would make sure there isn't anything social going on.
Pulling her out now to home school seems a little premature but that's just me. I do feel strongly that gifted kids in particular need the social interaction.

I am confident you will figure out the solution that is best for your family. I will offer this though. Both of my boys had these kinds of issues in K and in first. Not the not wanting to go to school or tummy issues but the chattiness and not being on task. With plans and reinforcement at home they did get better each year and by third were gone almost entirely.

That chattiness can be coached into being a good team leader and contributor or helping others. Don't get me wrong, both are not always on task, but they aren't distracting others anymore!

Thanks for the info on the program. I checked the website and they have to score over 97% on 2 out of 3 parts of the test to qualify. The district also has a twicw exceptional program though A would not qualify for that (need a spec ed diagnosis) I guess my concern with the self contained would be a "little fish in a big pond" thing. A can be hard on herself and I don't want to worsen that. I have discussed some of this with the teacher. it just happens that our conference is on Mon so I thought it would be a good time to review and clarify.
She has complained about tummy issues for awile. Last spring we did a battery of tests to rule out anything allergy wise. Also did a tummy u/s. I think it is nerves. Her dentist also mentioned that she grinds her teeth. That is why the extra workbooks etc have all been per her request. I agree 100% about the social. She needs that though we do have a lot of good friends we see on a regular basis and she also swims and figure skates.
I don't really see h/s as a now option. Maybe in the future. I plan to email the teacher and give her a "heads up" on what I want to talk about on Mon. Thanks again for your well thought out, honest feedback.

 

[MaryAz]

I kinda feel this way too. I know Justin's talking is an issue because it disrupts other kids ability to learn, but really I have a very hard time being too hard on him because he does everything else right. And it's not like his mouth is going non stop like the kid MeMom described. I can only hope that him being chatty is the worst thing I have to deal with as we go through his teenage years!!

I agree. She is not a major disruption just chatty. And lots of times she is helping the other kids with their work....

 

[MaryAz]

Mary, I'm so glad you asked this question here! I'm soaking it all in. Tessa turned 4 in December and is not supposed to start Kinder next year, but in 2011. I am really hoping to find a way around the age cutoff and get her started this fall. She is a very bright girl and LOVES to learn and investigate. When she was barely three she was sight reading most of the alphabet and a few words. Her reading (number of words) hasn't increased a ton this past year, but she now gets the sounds of the letters, and is starting to sound out everything she comes across. Forgive me for hijacking but you just reminded me of a funny moment last summer. The girls and I were playing in the backyard and Tessa asks me out of nowhere, "Where is Phoebe's P?". I thought she was talking about "pee", LOL. I didn't understand at first, so she repeated the question and then made the P sound, "puh, puh". I explained to her that "PH" sounds like "F" when they are together. I thought, what a brilliant little 3 yr old! I'm not kidding that I have adults (docs offices, etc) get her name wrong ALL the time. Puh-Hoe-Bee??? Really??? Or Foe-Bee. That one makes me laugh. They get that close and still get it wrong???)

I honestly don't know if Tessa's "gifted" but I know she's ready to learn. I think she's ready for Kinder based on the other kids I see her around. After paying 300/month for part time preschool last year, that was basically just a playgroup, I took her out this year and started a co-op with some other moms. We rotate houses and take turns with a letter of the week. Nothing fancy. There are two kids who are starting Kinder this fall who appear to be better readers/writers, but another who is starting who is about the same as her, and the ones who are the same age or younger are far behind her abilities. Socially, I think she'll be fine also.

So you like the teacher, and don't have a problem with the school, but things aren't meshing well for what Avery needs. Do you have any charter schools in the area? My sister lives in Ahwatukee and loves her kids' school (Horizon, I think?). I'm always surprised to hear what the kids are learning at what age but they both love school. The charter school in our area allows 4 yr olds to enter Kinder if they have room and pass an evaluation. That's going to be my first attempt. We also have a private school in the area that has a good pre-k. In the public schools we have to pay for preschool, there is no pre-k or head start or any program for young kids in our area. Arizona's 50th ranking in the nation is probably due to the Tucson area alone.

One other thought, using my special ed experience with Phoebe, so maybe this is not something they'd allow in regular ed, or gifted...maybe explore the idea of her going to a 1st grade class during their reading time? If there is a class that has it at the same time, or could easily adjust the schedule, it would be a great way to test out her ability to work in an accelerated environment. I agree with Jackie, my worst fear is her losing her interest in school and starting to dislike it.

It's hard to find the right fit for our kids, in today's assembly-line education. I really feel for the educators who have to work within the system we have created (and they ALL need BIG raises!!!).

Cayley is a Sep 1 bday and just makes the cutoff. SHe will be the youngest in the class. I think it is silly that the K cutoff age in some places is Aug-some Dec. I wish you lots of luck finding a good program for her. C knows a lot of letter and some simle words. She is just way more interested in playing. A was set to go to a Charter school but then the teacher retired, they hires 2 new ones without credentials and could not tell me what ciriculum they would be following. I was not comfortable with that. I just think that there needs to be more "rules" for Charters. It is an option I am considering. I am going to ask the teacher if it is possible that she do something else during reading. Maybe she could check out a first grade class. I totally agree about her loosing interest and not wanting to go. I am already seeing that. Thanks for your reply.

 

[MaryAz]

Thank You All so very, very much for all the wonderful, honest, caring responses. I appreciate all of you taking the time to respond to me. I just really want to do what is right for my girl. We tried for a long time and had a hard journey to have her. She was my Mom's absolute favorite person in the world and she is such a blessing. I will let you all know what happens on Mon. Thanks again. (Please excuse my spelling and grammer issues)

 

[eandesmom]

Thanks for the info on the program. I checked the website and they have to score over 97% on 2 out of 3 parts of the test to qualify. The district also has a twicw exceptional program though A would not qualify for that (need a spec ed diagnosis) I guess my concern with the self contained would be a "little fish in a big pond" thing. A can be hard on herself and I don't want to worsen that. I have discussed some of this with the teacher. it just happens that our conference is on Mon so I thought it would be a good time to review and clarify.
She has complained about tummy issues for awile. Last spring we did a battery of tests to rule out anything allergy wise. Also did a tummy u/s. I think it is nerves. Her dentist also mentioned that she grinds her teeth. That is why the extra workbooks etc have all been per her request. I agree 100% about the social. She needs that though we do have a lot of good friends we see on a regular basis and she also swims and figure skates.
I don't really see h/s as a now option. Maybe in the future. I plan to email the teacher and give her a "heads up" on what I want to talk about on Mon. Thanks again for your well thought out, honest feedback.

Oh the poor thing, she definitely sounds stressed. K is hard, it's a bit young for playdates and they are all trying to figure out where they fit and lunch in particular seems to be a landmine all of its own. One cool thing Eric's gifted teacher did in 2nd was to talk to parents about peer match ups, basically gently suggesting that xx kid or yy kid might be a good one to try to reach out for and schedule playdates as the gifted kids can have a harder time establishing those relationships on their own. I was really really lucky (or he was) that in K he latched onto our neighbor across the street and they migrated over to hi-cap together and are still best buds, it is a huge blessing and has helped a ton) I know a lot of parents really appreciated that, maybe you could see if there is a classmate that might be a good one to encourage a friendship with and invite over? It can be hard on them if classmates all went to pre-K together and are already a "group" that they aren't part of. Girls seem worse according to my friends, which really isn't surprising! I know Evan would chat and goof alot to get attention in K, it was his way of trying to "look cool" and thus attract friends. Not exactly the same thing but...

I would suggest you actually try to meet with the cluster teacher for 1st and even the self contained teacher for 2nd. They are generally not only used to, but trained to deal with the little fish/big pond issue. They are also often open to prospective parents meeting with them. Eric is very much a perfectionist and we had many a K meltdown before we understood the depth of it. A dinner comes to mind, we were out for mexican, the kids had the kids menu's and were coloring. Eric wanted to write "Happy Halloween". He had a complete and utter meltdown because we wouldn't tell him how Halloween was spelled and he wanted it to be right and refused to try for fear it would be wrong.

While it isn't for everyone I do think Eric's teachers since he switched have been far better equipped to deal with his particular needs. He is an absolute perfectionist, which is not uncommon with these kids and I think honestly, being more of a peer now is far better than him "knowing" he was ahead of others in his class....at the end of first it brought out a, um, lack of humbleness shall we say that was most unattractive and has now gone away.
On the flip side I know other children that did test in and their parents chose to keep them at our homeschool for the social aspect and respecting the childs wishes. With 3 kids in mainstream and one in the high-cap all I can say is in the primary grades the difference between the two is, sadly, mindboggling.

That said I would NOT move him up a grade. Though he only misses the cutoff by a whopping 5 days and is doing work 1-2 grade levels higher than his own, his maturity is barely at his correct grade. Which again, can be common in some gifted kids but by no means all. I'm sure being the baby of our 4 kids doesn't help!

Eric's test was similar except it was 4 out of 7 at 97% and of those one had to be a math and one had to be an english. He did not hit 4 out of 7, he hit 3 and was very close on the 2 others. So we appealed and he got in.

It was definitely the best thing we ever did but at the time, originally, we were not going to appeal. Eric really really wanted it, so we did. I took the minimum route on the appeal (writing a letter) but others actually went and got independent IQ tests and such. I'm glad I listened to him and Avery is lucky you are listening to her. I know when we were in your spot (and it was his K teacher that pointed us to where he really was at, we just thought he was stubborn!) I did a lot of research, a lot of talking to other parents. Listen to your heart and to Avery and you will be fine.