Homework issue.

[lissawynn]

This is my sixth year as a teacher, and the last four years have been spent teaching eighth graders.
I have probably heard every excuse from students as to why assignments are not completed. This year our school has provided student planners to prevent this exact thing.
As a parent you can implement a planner of your own. You could also contact the school's guidance counselor to see if he/she could help with this situation.
If this were my child, she wouldn't be going to the skating party. She would be working on her presentation. Maybe the loss of this party would motivate her to do her work on time and not be so blaise about her schoolwork.
Good luck! If your daughter falls into the middle school years, they are the craziest time in a student and parent's life.

 

[gr8tpanther]

Well, her presentation isn't due till the 25th and she has time to do it, I just want the dang paper!!!!

She knows and understands that if I have NO paper, she has NO skating!

I can't wait till they grow up!!!

 

[sweet angel]

This year our school has provided student planners to prevent this exact thing.

My son's school did this as well. Doesn't work if the child "forgets" to fill it in. Any suggestions?

 

[Wishing on a star]

I just want to jump back in here and post a comment about how parents are 'helping' so much with their kids school responsibilities... homework, projects, etc....

I do not know about the older grades. DS is in First grade. But, I SWEAR, I feel as if I am homeschooling him in the evenings after he puts in a full day at public school! This is, of course, a whole different thread... But, honestly, with the demands and expectations that are being put on him... They are WAY above his level to complete individually, on his own... While he does okay at learning the basics of the material, the worksheets that he is expected to to, along with all the directions, etc... are way beyond his level of individual comprehension. The latest project was a full, 3-D ocean diorama.... This is a six year old...

How many threads and posts have we seen about exhorbitant amounts of homework. I feel it is all completely out of hand!

No, my parents didn't have to 'help' me with my school responsibilities either.... because they were within reasonable expections for the kids to be able to handle them on their own.

I did not have to be computer-literate, create full 3-D diaramas, etc.. etc... I am afraid that with all these expectations of 'Excellence' and NCLB... there are going to be a lot of kids left behind.....

PS: to the OP... About your DD using the computer/internet. My son has had Computer Lab in school since Kindergarten. Perhaps your DD will not need as much assistance as you are thinking?

Also, one other note about 'forgetfullness'.... I am TERRIBLE at remembering names!!! I simply do NOT remember names... Remembering things is a learned ability. Kids do need to be taught, through their own experience, to learn to remember to remember! Does that make any sense! LOL!!!

 

[Kallison]

NO skating party.

 

[totalia]

Why let her go? The party is a privelage, not a right. If she doesn't get her responsibilities done, then privelages get revoked.

 

[Lachesis00]

We went through this last year too. School wouldn't MAKE him do it, so therefor he didn't. Teachers wouldn't fill out the requested weekly grade check. It was a nightmare.

Thankfully this year seems to be going much better! Ask me in a couple months if I still feel the same

Originally posted by sweet angel
My son's school did this as well. Doesn't work if the child "forgets" to fill it in. Any suggestions?

 

[poohandwendy]

Originally posted by gr8tpanther
I don't always feel like I am a "good" parent. I feel like I am depriving my kids of things because I am a single parent and don't have the time to do the things they would like to do. And then when we have issues, I feel like that is their way of retaliating against not being able to do those things. I don't let them go to birthday parties because I can't afford to buy presents for the child. I don't let them do things that cost alot of money because I can't afford the extra expenses.

WDSearcher - I like your mom, lol, I am going to put notes in her books and backpack so she can remember! And I keep asking her what she is to bring home with her tomorrow. Oh I hope she remembers, cause I don't want to make her stay home.

The first mistake is to equate one situation with a totally unrelated one.

Your children having a single mother with a limited budget has NOTHING to do with their responsibility to do their school work. This is something they need to know and something YOU need to remember. There is NO room for guilt in parenting, unless you are abusing them.

 

[poohandwendy]

I guess I don't understand how so many kids are able to get away with forgetting homework and having significant parental assistance on projects. Shouldn't kids be learning responsibility and consequences of actions? Shouldn't they be graded on their own merits and abilities and not based on parental assistance? By assistance, I mean a parent actually doing a significant portion of the project - not guidance.

Crankyshank, I totally agree.

If the work is too much for the student without significant assistance, they are in the wrong grade and should be held back(unfortunately, parents don't want to hear that).

No, my parents didn't have to 'help' me with my school responsibilities either.... because they were within reasonable expections for the kids to be able to handle them on their own.

I disagree that the work is too much for the children. If that were the case, children would be failing at an alarming rate, because MANY parents do not spend hours doing homework with their children.

I think the problem is that many parents are are not giving their children a chance to step up to the plate and stumble a bit until they learn to keep up on their own. What makes kids learn to bring in things they are required to bring in? Because they figure out quickly that it stinks to forget. Because teachers do not have an emotional stake in it, they don't feel bad for the kids and they stand firm with rules.

IMHO, many parents underestimate their children because they have a hard time adjusting to the fact that their children are growing up. I also think many see their children as a reflection of their own success and do the work for them in effort to have the perfect child. Of course, it doesn't work long-term and the kids are confused and disorganized. JMHO. (btw, this is not directed at anyone in particular, just a general observation based on my experiences)

 

[LisaZoe]

I haven't reached that stage yet with my DD but have heard my sister talk about the problems she faced with her boys when they were in school.

First, her oldest had a similar problem as your DD. He'd do the homework but just forget to turn it in on time so just wouldn't bother turning it in if it was late. My sister tried to get him to understand that even if he lost a lot of points for turning it in late, at least he'd get some points but he would get zero if he didn't turn it in at all. It reached a point where my sister went to the school and spoke to his teachers about the problem. All agreed to work with her to keep on him about the homework. My sister agreed to stay in close contact with them to know what was assigned so she could keep track of his progress on it. This seemed to help because my nephew soon learned that he wasn't going to be let off the hook. Also, I think having his Mom contacting and visiting the school so much started to get him unwanted attention from his peers. He eventually got a lot better although he still needed a bit of a push from time to time.

Second, after seeing some of the projects my nephews were assigned in elementary school, I can understand why so many parents need to help get them done. For my sister, it wasn't about being competitive but just knowing that what was assigned was more than a child should be expected to do on his/her own. One example was a project to research and draw the largest representative of specific "species". These had to be "drawn to scale" with the smallest, a spider, at less than one foot and the largest, a tree, more than 200 feet. Now, I may not be a math whiz but it didn't take much time to realize how difficult that would be for an 8 year old... who didn't even understand what it meant to say "drawn to scale". He did the drawings but my sister ended up doing a lot of the research just to find which in each species was largest. When my sister spoke to the teacher about this after the project was handed in, the teacher made it seem like it wasn't a big deal and that she expected family participation in such projects - which was one of the reasons why she'd made it so complex!

 

[WDSearcher]

Originally posted by gr8tpanther
WDSearcher - I like your mom, lol, I am going to put notes in her books and backpack so she can remember! And I keep asking her what she is to bring home with her tomorrow. Oh I hope she remembers, cause I don't want to make her stay home.

Yeah ... my mom was unlike any I have ever known. The way she handled stuff back then has me in awe now. I can't imagine how she could come up with some of the stuff she did sometimes. She raised two kids as a single mom for about 11 years before she married my step-dad, and she maintained her wacky, slightly sarcastic, "don't mess with Mom" sense of humor during all of it. I think of things she did and said, and she still cracks me up!

Be sure to update us as to the status of the "papers."

 

[Wishing on a star]

I do see your point PoohandWendy... But, seeing some of the work my son is being given, I have to respectfully disagree.... The things that LisaZoe and I have mentioned are just two examples out of MANY.

I could give you example after example after example of my DS bringing home work where he KNOWS the basic material... But simply is not up to the comprehension, and developemental, levels to understand what is expected and to complete the work successfully all by himself.

We are required to initial any work with a failing grade and to return it to the teacher. So, just this last week, I sent a short note, along with his work. One of these papers had a grade of a 29!!!! To illustrate my point, I also included a similar paper where my DS had gotten a perfect 100. He is capable of learning the basics of his grade level. But the expectations and level of comprehension and development on some of this work is just insane.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by gr8tpanther
Well, her presentation isn't due till the 25th and she has time to do it, I just want the dang paper!!!!

She knows and understands that if I have NO paper, she has NO skating!

Here is how I handle projects. I consider the date it was assigned I then look at the calendar and assess a % of the work that needs to be completed by X date. I look over the work that is done and if the % isn't completed or done poorly then "fun" stuff is on hold.

I instituted this rule because my dd was driving me crazy and I knew I needed to "teach" her how to get her work done well, on time, as well as have pride in it.
Now she does projects well and on time...except she HAS TO do a science fair project, bleech. This is where I will institute a % rule on her.

You need a good "system".

 

[cruisnfamily]

I'm dying to know......did she bring home the paper? Did she go skating?

 

[Divamomto3]

Originally posted by Wishing on a star
I just want to jump back in here and post a comment about how parents are 'helping' so much with their kids school responsibilities... homework, projects, etc....

I do not know about the older grades. DS is in First grade. But, I SWEAR, I feel as if I am homeschooling him in the evenings after he puts in a full day at public school! This is, of course, a whole different thread... But, honestly, with the demands and expectations that are being put on him... They are WAY above his level to complete individually, on his own... While he does okay at learning the basics of the material, the worksheets that he is expected to to, along with all the directions, etc... are way beyond his level of individual comprehension. The latest project was a full, 3-D ocean diorama.... This is a six year old...

How many threads and posts have we seen about exhorbitant amounts of homework. I feel it is all completely out of hand!

No, my parents didn't have to 'help' me with my school responsibilities either.... because they were within reasonable expections for the kids to be able to handle them on their own.

I did not have to be computer-literate, create full 3-D diaramas, etc.. etc... I am afraid that with all these expectations of 'Excellence' and NCLB... there are going to be a lot of kids left behind.....

PS: to the OP... About your DD using the computer/internet. My son has had Computer Lab in school since Kindergarten. Perhaps your DD will not need as much assistance as you are thinking?

Also, one other note about 'forgetfullness'.... I am TERRIBLE at remembering names!!! I simply do NOT remember names... Remembering things is a learned ability. Kids do need to be taught, through their own experience, to learn to remember to remember! Does that make any sense! LOL!!!

Yes, this is a whole entire other thread because don't get me started! What is the OBSESSION with dioramas??? Teachers on the DIS, can you enlighten??? Besides $40 at AC Moore Craft Store and countless hours of MY time, what exactly has my son learned? Not much besides the fact that if he comes home and tells me he has to make a diorama, I'm going to go BALLISTIC. I also feel like I have hours of home schooling ahead of me after their day ends. When do they get time to be kids???? Mine are in 7th grade and 4th grade. And I have one in PreK who thank God has no homework yet.
My parents never had to help me this much either, nor did they ever have to worry about my homework. But my homework never counted EQUALLY to a QUIZ score!!!! You forget your homework in 7th grade in my son's school and you get a zero which is counted "once" the same as a quiz which is counted "once." Test count twice. A zero in a homework assignment can really mess up your average. If the child were habitually not doing their homework, then I think that should count against them. Perhaps homework could be given a check like the old days and if you are missing 3, then take points off the average. But a ZERO????? Do you know how hard you'd have to try to get a ZERO on a quiz or a test? My son also has gotten one zero so far because he did the assignment in his notebook instead of THEME PAPER. Teachers on power trips if you ask me.


I digress...back to regularly scheduled programming.

 

[Divamomto3]

Originally posted by LisaZoe
When my sister spoke to the teacher about this after the project was handed in, the teacher made it seem like it wasn't a big deal and that she expected family participation in such projects - which was one of the reasons why she'd made it so complex!

The paper that explained the assignment about the diorama of a landform for my 4th grader was addressed: Dear Students and Parents......

What does that tell you?

BTW, we got an A+.

 

[MerryPoppins]

My DD is an excellent student, but she had a tendency to lose her work. Sometimes she lost homework assignments and sometimes she lost the completed work. It was very frustrating!

We did several things. We got her an accordian folder with several pockets. She was to put assignments in the folder and the completed work in another pocket of the same folder. This did several things. It was big, so when she saw it she would remember to use it. It was easy to get things in and out, so she was willing to use it. It kept everything in one place so it was harder to lose anything. It also had a way to close so that nothing would fall out. We started this method several years ago and she still asks for a new folder each year. It's working.

We also started a reward sheet. It had 5 rows for the days of the school week, and as many columns as her classes. Each square along a row was to be filled in when I picked her up after school. If she had no homework she wrote NH in the box. If she had homework, she put an H, and the following day she put an X over it, but only when she had turned in the work. She was on the honor system to fill in the boxes as she went. At first she was tempted to do it all at the end of the day instead of as she went from class to class. At the end of each week we counted the boxes that were filled in. If she reached the predetermined number, she got to go out for ice cream or a slushie or buy a bottle of nail polish, etc. We found that taking an interest and checking each day really helped. Soon she didn't need the crutch anymore.

Now her teachers tell me she seldom loses anything. So I promise that there is hope!

 

[gr8tpanther]

Originally posted by cruisnfamily
I'm dying to know......did she bring home the paper? Did she go skating?

Yes, she brought the paper home and went skating with a lecture and some insite on her new childhood beginning after the skating party.

Change is in the air!!!! And she isn't happy about it!