home school? what would you do?

[hulagirl87]

Back up- besides the part where her problem with the school is how the social aspect is going there, homeschooling doesn't mean no social situations. Are you on Facebook? There are a million homeschool parent groups - join some and look around. Look for ones that are local and see what the local homeschoolers are doing. You might find out there are co-ops, sports teams, meet-ups all over the place. Some locations there are fewer in-person events, but homeschoolers have online gatherings, she might find new friends all around the world through a D&D club or a film class. Have her take a community ed exercise class, community theater, painting class, join a martial art, or just get a part-time job. See what programs your library offers. Maybe volunteer at a local animal shelter, a food pantry, something with younger kids? (something in her interest set)

Many homeschool families find their kids better socially adapted outside of the "system" - is it really natural to be segregated by age? If social activity is what is holding you back, think about how common it is that people hear high school is NOT what the real world is like. Public school is not for socializing, it is a convenient way to have children learn when parents either aren't sure what to offer them or don't have the time. The socials aspect (which for the bulk of kids seems to malfunction more often than it goes well) is an unfortunate side effect of putting too many immature people in one place at the same time.

Outside of school she volunteers at our local Y in the child care center (hopefully will be hired on as an actual job), and takes a dance class. Neither of those have led to any outside friendships though. She just really wants a group of friends to hang out with, or even just one "bestie". someone she can confide in, gossip with, go to the mall with, etc. She's so hung up on this and I tell her that sometimes it takes a while to find your person. We have a family friend that struggled in high school and didn't really make friends until her junior year. I feel like school has become too much socializing and not enough learning. I would love to send her to school, have her do her work and come home. But she is so hung up on who might not like her or who is saying something bad about her. I never would have imagined this to be a thing. She is such a fun and amazing kid. There is so much pressure to fit in and be "cool".

I tell her that high school is a puzzle and right now she is a piece that just doesn't fit. It's hard forcing all these people together. I had friends in high school, but don't talk to them any more. The friends I have now are ones that I have chosen from either work jobs or mom groups. I encourage her that she will be able to pick her people once she is out of school, but every day is just a struggle for her and it's hard to see her struggling so much.

 

[hulagirl87]

Does she struggle socially in general? Or is it just this batch of kids at school? Does she have a friend group? I get the pain of seeing our children struggle socially. Have had that with one of mine.

she's a pretty sociable kid, but just doesn't fit with these kids. she is silly and goofy and I guess isn't considered "cool" and it's really putting a damper on her spirit and I hate seeing that. She doesn't have a friend group but really wants that. She sees kids laughing and hanging out together and just gets so disheartened. I can't make kids be nice or like her. I know that I am biased because I'm her mom, but she is totally the kid I would have been friends with in high school! So many of these kids are rude and mean and DD is so unlike that and is just not fitting in.

 

[lanejudy]

So I hate to say this…but it sounds like she wants to be “cool” with a certain subset of kids. In her quest to be “cool” she may be completely overlooking or ignoring opportunities to connect with other kids who aren’t in that cool/popular crowd. Hopefully her therapist is helping her learn to accept herself for who she is, because until then she is likely to constantly be striving for something that doesn’t really fit. Have you asked why she wants to be friends with the “cool” kids who aren’t clearly not very kind? Does she really want to be friends with mean kids? She wants to be someone she isn’t which is why she doesn’t fit in. If school clubs aren’t helping her to connect, are there any other community organizations where the teens gather? Maybe the local library, recreation dept, church youth group, etc.

 

[mjkacmom]

Back up- besides the part where her problem with the school is how the social aspect is going there, homeschooling doesn't mean no social situations. Are you on Facebook? There are a million homeschool parent groups - join some and look around. Look for ones that are local and see what the local homeschoolers are doing. You might find out there are co-ops, sports teams, meet-ups all over the place. Some locations there are fewer in-person events, but homeschoolers have online gatherings, she might find new friends all around the world through a D&D club or a film class. Have her take a community ed exercise class, community theater, painting class, join a martial art, or just get a part-time job. See what programs your library offers. Maybe volunteer at a local animal shelter, a food pantry, something with younger kids? (something in her interest set)

Many homeschool families find their kids better socially adapted outside of the "system" - is it really natural to be segregated by age? If social activity is what is holding you back, think about how common it is that people hear high school is NOT what the real world is like. Public school is not for socializing, it is a convenient way to have children learn when parents either aren't sure what to offer them or don't have the time. The socials aspect (which for the bulk of kids seems to malfunction more often than it goes well) is an unfortunate side effect of putting too many immature people in one place at the same time.

I loved high school, my husband loved high school, our 5 kids loved high school. H and I are still in close contact with our old friends, our kids have amazing friends they’ve had since elementary school. I get that’s not the case for all, but many get through with happy memories. I’m glad there are options.

 

[mistysue]

I loved high school, my husband loved high school, our 5 kids loved high school. H and I are still in close contact with our old friends, our kids have amazing friends they’ve had since elementary school. I get that’s not the case for all, but many get through with happy memories. I’m glad there are options.

I'm happy for you, sounds like you lucked out and are exactly the people who get along well in the high school environment. That said, last time I checked suicide was the 3rd leading cause of death in high school - so it follows that there are a lot of people who aren't having your experience. In 2021 roughly 1/3 of female students reported seriously considering suicide within the past year. (up around 6% from two years earlier) - which tells us again your experience is not typical. The OP's daughter seems the type who struggles in the environment.

 

[brockash]

I would do what you think is best. I wouldn't let her therapist make that decision for you. Her therapist may just be anti-homeschooling in general. Some people have a bias against it. I would find what her therapist reasoning is before taking her opinion under consideration. Ultimately you are responsible for whatever happens.

I agree in that I wouldn't just do what 1 person says, HOWEVER I also wouldn't just write off what a professional says either.

Could the therapist just be a terrible human who hates teenagers, thinks the worst in all of them and is always against against homeschool? - I suppose, but pretty unlikely in my opinion. If you can find a professional in the field who will be honest and not sugar coat everything or just tell ppl what they want to hear; I'd count myself as lucky. I've seen so many times where no one (schools, therapist, drs) don't want to be honest with parents and instead lean very far into telling parents what they want to hear or sufar. coat things or only talk about the positive things which is certainly easier and often times the only thing the client will listen to, but it helps absolutely nothing and no one.

If you're truly in therapy to help with something than you have to be okay with and open to growth which. often. involves things that are not always pleasant, can be hard to hear and require work.

Just think about...sure there are bad apples everywhere and this therapist could be one of them, but it'd be so easy for them to just tell you what you want to hear, so if they're not - it may be worth being open to their professional opinions.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

she's a pretty sociable kid, but just doesn't fit with these kids. she is silly and goofy and I guess isn't considered "cool" and it's really putting a damper on her spirit and I hate seeing that. She doesn't have a friend group but really wants that. She sees kids laughing and hanging out together and just gets so disheartened. I can't make kids be nice or like her. I know that I am biased because I'm her mom, but she is totally the kid I would have been friends with in high school! So many of these kids are rude and mean and DD is so unlike that and is just not fitting in.

Is she silly and goofy? Or immature? Because finding her friend can be approached differently based on the answer to that question.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm happy for you, sounds like you lucked out and are exactly the people who get along well in the high school environment. That said, last time I checked suicide was the 3rd leading cause of death in high school - so it follows that there are a lot of people who aren't having your experience. In 2021 roughly 1/3 of female students reported seriously considering suicide within the past year. (up around 6% from two years earlier) - which tells us again your experience is not typical. The OP's daughter seems the type who struggles in the environment.

For a lot of kids school is a refuge from an unhappy/neglectful/miserable/chaotic homelife. I have a daughter who is very early into her teaching career as a high school teacher who also teaches special ed students. By and large the bulk of her caseload has been students who have emotional impairments due to homelife, which has cascaded into struggles with academics, among other things. Despite being in her mid twenties she's had a shocking number of students who wind up trying to call her mom because they are seeking that comfort and stability -- despite many of them being raised by their own mothers.

I noted above you said you're from MI. Same here. It's fantastic that you've got a great homeschool situation going for your children. To extrapolate your experience and spin it up into a whole cloth narrative where schools are the root of all the ills and homeschooling is the bespoke, tailor-fit that will protect all kids and churn out guaranteed success just won't fit all kids, no matter what kind of fun house mirror you hold up.

Homeschool can be a great option for the right kid and the dedicated, motivated parent willing to really lay it down. For other kids it would amount to misery if the kid truly craves peer to peer bonding and shared experience that school can bring, and wasted potential if the parent can't or won't deliver a serious learning experience. Ideally the choice should boil down to what the kid needs and what the parent can support. Even if it's a school classroom parent support still plays a significant role.

 

[radishtoaster]

I am just seeing your thread and reading about your situation, and I so feel for your family and your daughter. I had/have my own issue with the way the social caste is set, specifically in high school, and I have witnessed it many times over from friends and family going through similar struggles.It's not easy when you're an independent thinker who doesn't necessarily feel like you WANT to have to fit a certain mold, but you know you're missing out by continuing to be yourself.

Anyway, I don't know if I missed where you're from, but in some areas they offer online school that's not entirely 'homeschool.' It can be a great option for kids who are having major issues with their school systems, but enjoy learning and engaging. I do think it's best when it's combined with outside activites, I know you said she was into theatre, and that's kind of the perfect thing to mesh in there, but it all depends what might be available in your area.

I've led a few kids through online schooling systems and they really learn tons, some of them have far more rigoruous demands than a normal classroom, but often kids feel less pressure on them to perform because they are in a safe place. Honestly, there aren't enough safe spaces for anyone nowadays, let alone teenage girls, so even though many will see this as too sheltered or whatever, that's their opinion to have. Doing what's best for kids so that they can feel confident to thrive in their future is not a bad thing.

 

[mistysue]

For a lot of kids school is a refuge from an unhappy/neglectful/miserable/chaotic homelife. I have a daughter who is very early into her teaching career as a high school teacher who also teaches special ed students. By and large the bulk of her caseload has been students who have emotional impairments due to homelife, which has cascaded into struggles with academics, among other things. Despite being in her mid twenties she's had a shocking number of students who wind up trying to call her mom because they are seeking that comfort and stability -- despite many of them being raised by their own mothers.

I noted above you said you're from MI. Same here. It's fantastic that you've got a great homeschool situation going for your children. To extrapolate your experience and spin it up into a whole cloth narrative where schools are the root of all the ills and homeschooling is the bespoke, tailor-fit that will protect all kids and churn out guaranteed success just won't fit all kids, no matter what kind of fun house mirror you hold up.

Homeschool can be a great option for the right kid and the dedicated, motivated parent willing to really lay it down. For other kids it would amount to misery if the kid truly craves peer to peer bonding and shared experience that school can bring, and wasted potential if the parent can't or won't deliver a serious learning experience. Ideally the choice should boil down to what the kid needs and what the parent can support. Even if it's a school classroom parent support still plays a significant role.

I have not done that at all. I have very clearly encouraged finding out more information because it's a huge change - I was responded to by someone talking about how everyone around her loved the social aspect of high school - and if we are honest that is the exact part of high school that it is common for people to be glad to be rid of. It's also a massive misconception that homeschool automatically means no social life, and can very often mean exactly the opposite. The OP came here not sure what to do because her daughter is socially unhappy in her school, then said that she's afraid to pull her out because of the social parts... if social is exactly why the child is so unhappy, that is a huge conflict right there.

Your comment is clearly pigeonholing me as anti-school, and the fact that I homeschool does not mean that I think schools are horrible. I am one of those rare people who actually has donated thousands of hours volunteering in our local district (in addition to donating tens of thousands toward various causes), so painting me as holding up a fun house mirror to hate schools is as belittling as it is incorrect. Physical schools are not the answer for everyone any more than homeschooling is.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm happy for you, sounds like you lucked out and are exactly the people who get along well in the high school environment. That said, last time I checked suicide was the 3rd leading cause of death in high school - so it follows that there are a lot of people who aren't having your experience. In 2021 roughly 1/3 of female students reported seriously considering suicide within the past year. (up around 6% from two years earlier) - which tells us again your experience is not typical. The OP's daughter seems the type who struggles in the environment.

I have not done that at all. I have very clearly encouraged finding out more information because it's a huge change - I was responded to by someone talking about how everyone around her loved the social aspect of high school - and if we are honest that is the exact part of high school that it is common for people to be glad to be rid of. It's also a massive misconception that homeschool automatically means no social life, and can very often mean exactly the opposite. The OP came here not sure what to do because her daughter is socially unhappy in her school, then said that she's afraid to pull her out because of the social parts... if social is exactly why the child is so unhappy, that is a huge conflict right there.

Your comment is clearly pigeonholing me as anti-school, and the fact that I homeschool does not mean that I think schools are horrible. I am one of those rare people who actually has donated thousands of hours volunteering in our local district (in addition to donating tens of thousands toward various causes), so painting me as holding up a fun house mirror to hate schools is as belittling as it is incorrect. Physical schools are not the answer for everyone any more than homeschooling is.

Your own words, nothing to do with any pigeonholing from me, extrapolate the fact that suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst high school students to the narrative that the high school experience is driving the rate of suicide amongst that population.

Are there students who commit suicide because of a situation triggered at school? No doubt.

Is the school environment/school experience automatically the cause when someone of school age commits suicide? If it was that easy and direct friends of mine wouldn't be devastated and grieving their losses.

It's part of the reason I so strongly recommend OP get to the bottom of her DD's therapist's stance that homeschool is a bad idea. That is a strong position for a professional to advocate. It does no favor to OP's DD to speculate it must mean the therapist is biased against homeschooling.

The best info we have about OP's DD's wants/needs is OP's words that her DD wants the social experience of participating in school with her peers and partaking of the social aspects therein. Is it the only way to skin the cat? No. Homeschoolers can pursue a solid social experience with peers. The only info we have is that is not the preference OP's DD has expressed. I don't see a good reason to attempt to circumvent her wishes within reason.

If OP can get to the bottom of the therapist's recommendation and finds out it's based in bias and ignores professional responsibilities to advocate for the wellbeing of the client there are actions to be taken. First, get her DD into treatment with a qualified and ethical provider. Second, if the provider is not in private practice report the breach of duty to supervisors. Third, report the breach to any and all professional associations the therapist claims affiliation with so that they may investigate and hopefully rescind their endorsements and membership. If medical insurance is covering any portion of associated costs make sure they are informed in writing so they can begin investigating and potentially remove the therapist from their network.

If the therapist can explain good reason why homeschooling might not be a good fit for OP's DD, OP will have a good idea where she needs to focus her energies in helping her DD find a good fit and a satisfactory experience that suits her academically and socially.

It also should not go unnoticed that OP has expressed doubts on being equipped to provide a successful homeschool situation for her DD. The goal is to find a solution where this kid is happy and successful and reaches her potential. IDK what the answer is, but I am hearing a kid has expressed a desire to attend school with peers, a therapist is advocating the position homeschooling is a bad idea for their patient and a parent is expressing a lack of confidence in leading the child successfully in a homeschool environment. To me that's a lot of indicators that there are solid reasons to explore an in school experience as a first option in this situation. Note, that's explore and option -- not a kneejerk, blind assumption that it must be the answer, full stop. Objective exploration could lead to a very different conclusion. Where it leads doesn't matter if the result is a happy and successful kid.

 

[mistysue]

Your own words, nothing to do with any pigeonholing from me, extrapolate the fact that suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst high school students to the narrative that the high school experience is driving the rate of suicide amongst that population.

Are there students who commit suicide because of a situation triggered at school? No doubt.

Is the school environment/school experience automatically the cause when someone of school age commits suicide? If it was that easy and direct friends of mine wouldn't be devastated and grieving their losses.

It's part of the reason I so strongly recommend OP get to the bottom of her DD's therapist's stance that homeschool is a bad idea. That is a strong position for a professional to advocate. It does no favor to OP's DD to speculate it must mean the therapist is biased against homeschooling.

The best info we have about OP's DD's wants/needs is OP's words that her DD wants the social experience of participating in school with her peers and partaking of the social aspects therein. Is it the only way to skin the cat? No. Homeschoolers can pursue a solid social experience with peers. The only info we have is that is not the preference OP's DD has expressed. I don't see a good reason to attempt to circumvent her wishes within reason.

If OP can get to the bottom of the therapist's recommendation and finds out it's based in bias and ignores professional responsibilities to advocate for the wellbeing of the client there are actions to be taken. First, get her DD into treatment with a qualified and ethical provider. Second, if the provider is not in private practice report the breach of duty to supervisors. Third, report the breach to any and all professional associations the therapist claims affiliation with so that they may investigate and hopefully rescind their endorsements and membership. If medical insurance is covering any portion of associated costs make sure they are informed in writing so they can begin investigating and potentially remove the therapist from their network.

If the therapist can explain good reason why homeschooling might not be a good fit for OP's DD, OP will have a good idea where she needs to focus her energies in helping her DD find a good fit and a satisfactory experience that suits her academically and socially.

It also should not go unnoticed that OP has expressed doubts on being equipped to provide a successful homeschool situation for her DD. The goal is to find a solution where this kid is happy and successful and reaches her potential. IDK what the answer is, but I am hearing a kid has expressed a desire to attend school with peers, a therapist is advocating the position homeschooling is a bad idea for their patient and a parent is expressing a lack of confidence in leading the child successfully in a homeschool environment. To me that's a lot of indicators that there are solid reasons to explore an in school experience as a first option in this situation. Note, that's explore and option -- not a kneejerk, blind assumption that it must be the answer, full stop. Objective exploration could lead to a very different conclusion. Where it leads doesn't matter if the result is a happy and successful kid.

You completely ignored the start of the conversation and cherry picked the parts to give you a narrative you wanted to argue with. The OP expressed that her daughter wants a version of the social experience in high school that SHE IS NOT GETTING THERE. Which is why she is unhappy.

I also suggested she find out why the therapist is suggesting not to homeschool, and the knowledge that some therapists simply don't like homeschooling is valid to share. It does not mean, nor did I in any way suggest, that that is the ONLY reason someone might not recommend homeschooling.

Some people are happier outside of the public school system they are originally assigned to. That is a fact. When I said that, someone decided they should rub in that they loved high school, which is why it's important to recognize that not everyone does. Suicide rates are influenced by people having the wrong school type match. (the better info on that is about kids being mis-matched with religious schools) You are trying to argue over my responding to things that were said to me, and then you are arguing a point that isn't what the discussion at that moment was pertaining to in a way that distorts what I even posted in the first place. Couching every single statement in a discussion like this with every single possibility someone may potentially think of to argue is not helpful.

It may help to recognize I entered this conversation advising the OP to find out whether she is able to do what it would take where she lives to homeschool, precisely because it's not the best answer for everyone.

 

[cabanafrau]

Back up- besides the part where her problem with the school is how the social aspect is going there, homeschooling doesn't mean no social situations. Are you on Facebook? There are a million homeschool parent groups - join some and look around. Look for ones that are local and see what the local homeschoolers are doing. You might find out there are co-ops, sports teams, meet-ups all over the place. Some locations there are fewer in-person events, but homeschoolers have online gatherings, she might find new friends all around the world through a D&D club or a film class. Have her take a community ed exercise class, community theater, painting class, join a martial art, or just get a part-time job. See what programs your library offers. Maybe volunteer at a local animal shelter, a food pantry, something with younger kids? (something in her interest set)

Many homeschool families find their kids better socially adapted outside of the "system" - is it really natural to be segregated by age? If social activity is what is holding you back, think about how common it is that people hear high school is NOT what the real world is like. Public school is not for socializing, it is a convenient way to have children learn when parents either aren't sure what to offer them or don't have the time. The socials aspect (which for the bulk of kids seems to malfunction more often than it goes well) is an unfortunate side effect of putting too many immature people in one place at the same time.

Rather dismissive and diminishing way to characterize the choice to send children to school instead of homeschooling. Reminiscent of the old mommy wars battle about stay at home vs. work outside the home moms.
Also a pretty broad dismissal of the social experience of students in schools. Is that anecdotal or backed with anything factual?

I loved high school, my husband loved high school, our 5 kids loved high school. H and I are still in close contact with our old friends, our kids have amazing friends they’ve had since elementary school. I get that’s not the case for all, but many get through with happy memories. I’m glad there are options.

Many people have given enthusiastic accounts of homeschooling in the thread, yet someone giving their positive experience with schools is "rubbing it in"?

You completely ignored the start of the conversation and cherry picked the parts to give you a narrative you wanted to argue with. The OP expressed that her daughter wants a version of the social experience in high school that SHE IS NOT GETTING THERE. Which is why she is unhappy.

I also suggested she find out why the therapist is suggesting not to homeschool, and the knowledge that some therapists simply don't like homeschooling is valid to share. It does not mean, nor did I in any way suggest, that that is the ONLY reason someone might not recommend homeschooling.

Some people are happier outside of the public school system they are originally assigned to. That is a fact. When I said that, someone decided they should rub in that they loved high school, which is why it's important to recognize that not everyone does. Suicide rates are influenced by people having the wrong school type match. (the better info on that is about kids being mis-matched with religious schools) You are trying to argue over my responding to things that were said to me, and then you are arguing a point that isn't what the discussion at that moment was pertaining to in a way that distorts what I even posted in the first place. Couching every single statement in a discussion like this with every single possibility someone may potentially think of to argue is not helpful.

It may help to recognize I entered this conversation advising the OP to find out whether she is able to do what it would take where she lives to homeschool, precisely because it's not the best answer for everyone.

Unfortunately kids have indeed committed suicide because of school and social issues. I've yet to see any factual information suggesting this is the primary driver of suicide among the school age population as you seem to be attempting to assert. The argument about mis-match with religious schools does not seem to be germane to the situation in this thread, so I'm going to disregard the aside as hyperbole meant to enflame opinion. Suicide rates are influenced by a multitude of reasons kids choose to end their lives, no matter the cause.

If a kid can be at risk in a mis-matched school setting, can't they also be at risk in a homeschool setting when they are wanting to be in a school setting with peers? I do think the fact OP's daughter wants to attend school and pursue a social life through school channels should be a primary consideration. She's the person being discussed, it's her life and her wishes should be paramount, so I do think that's where the focus should start.

 

[mistysue]

Rather dismissive and diminishing way to characterize the choice to send children to school instead of homeschooling. Reminiscent of the old mommy wars battle about stay at home vs. work outside the home moms.
Also a pretty broad dismissal of the social experience of students in schools. Is that anecdotal or backed with anything factual?

Many people have given enthusiastic accounts of homeschooling in the thread, yet someone giving their positive experience with schools is "rubbing it in"?

Unfortunately kids have indeed committed suicide because of school and social issues. I've yet to see any factual information suggesting this is the primary driver of suicide among the school age population as you seem to be attempting to assert. The argument about mis-match with religious schools does not seem to be germane to the situation in this thread, so I'm going to disregard the aside as hyperbole meant to enflame opinion. Suicide rates are influenced by a multitude of reasons kids choose to end their lives, no matter the cause.

If a kid can be at risk in a mis-matched school setting, can't they also be at risk in a homeschool setting when they are wanting to be in a school setting with peers? I do think the fact OP's daughter wants to attend school and pursue a social life through school channels should be a primary consideration. She's the person being discussed, it's her life and her wishes should be paramount, so I do think that's where the focus should start.

Have you read anything the OP has said? Have you looked at any of the context of the comments you quote? Maybe read it again. The entire issue is the child is miserable and is asking her to be pulled out of her school - because of the social situation there. People pick the school situation that fits their family. Some can't or don't want to homeschool, and so they send kids to a brick and mortar school. That is the way things are, not a judgement about them.

This is silly. You are cherry picking parts of what I am saying, ignoring the things that give it any context and arguing that YOUR anecdotes are more valuable. You can look up data about teen suicide and schools playing a part if you would like because it's out there. Yes, it is completely valid to bring up that school mis-match contributes as there is data for it and the OP is trying to decide where her child should be. No, I've never said there aren't also problems with homeschooling, and I've been very up front that there can be. The "homeschoolers can be social" was in response to a post about homeschooling meaning losing out on social activities, and was to point out that homeschool does NOT mean being locked in a room alone. Schools are far from the only place to get social interactions.

Yes, if someone is talking about how many people struggle and have a difficulty with a situation so it's ok to look at choices, someone popping in to say "my family was so happy and had the best experience" IS rubbing it in that they lucked out when the other didn't. I don't know why you seem to want to pick at me. I have no problem with schools. Some people have a rough time and need help finding out what their choices are. Clearly you don't actually want the OP to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences to her.

 

[mjkacmom]

Have you read anything the OP has said? Have you looked at any of the context of the comments you quote? Maybe read it again. The entire issue is the child is miserable and is asking her to be pulled out of her school - because of the social situation there. People pick the school situation that fits their family. Some can't or don't want to homeschool, and so they send kids to a brick and mortar school. That is the way things are, not a judgement about them.

This is silly. You are cherry picking parts of what I am saying, ignoring the things that give it any context and arguing that YOUR anecdotes are more valuable. You can look up data about teen suicide and schools playing a part if you would like because it's out there. Yes, it is completely valid to bring up that school mis-match contributes as there is data for it and the OP is trying to decide where her child should be. No, I've never said there aren't also problems with homeschooling, and I've been very up front that there can be. The "homeschoolers can be social" was in response to a post about homeschooling meaning losing out on social activities, and was to point out that homeschool does NOT mean being locked in a room alone. Schools are far from the only place to get social interactions.

Yes, if someone is talking about how many people struggle and have a difficulty with a situation so it's ok to look at choices, someone popping in to say "my family was so happy and had the best experience" IS rubbing it in that they lucked out when the other didn't. I don't know why you seem to want to pick at me. I have no problem with schools. Some people have a rough time and need help finding out what their choices are. Clearly you don't actually want the OP to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences to her.

I wasn’t rubbing anything in, I think your perception is wrong. Some kids struggle socially in school. The majority do not. If you want to think those who enjoy their classes, their classmates, clubs, sports, sleep overs, parties, have great kind friend groups who look out for each other, build each other up, are just lucky, nope. But if it makes you feel better..

 

[mistysue]

I wasn’t rubbing anything in, I think your perception is wrong. Some kids struggle socially in school. The majority do not. If you want to think those who enjoy their classes, their classmates, clubs, sports, sleep overs, parties, have great kind friend groups who look out for each other, build each other up, are just lucky, nope. But if it makes you feel better..

In context, that's basically what rubbing it in is, when someone is not having a good experience and you come in to say well I had a great one, so whatever.
It's pretty unnecessary to turn it into a jab at me being inferior (which is absolutely what you are implying) because I said some people don't like high school.

 

[Kimkimba]

Public school wasn’t working for my 2 youngest and I cyber schooled them through graduation. Flexible with no bullying.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Hulagirl, prayers your daughter is having a better week.

 

[barkley]

you are approaching the end of the school year-use the time before summer to see what options are available for her/ to you, both for next academic year but ALSO for the impending summer break-

is there another campus in your district that offers summer session she could attend and get a feel for it's student body? some homeschoolers do a more year round academic schedual-is there one or more that may be willing to let you/dd sit in and get a feel for it/go on one of their learning activities? does your state or district offer online claaes-could she just 'sit in' on a few classes during a free period at school to see what these are like? she might find something that really appeals to her but at worst you can rule these out to determine what MAY suit her.

 

[mjkacmom]

In context, that's basically what rubbing it in is, when someone is not having a good experience and you come in to say well I had a great one, so whatever.
It's pretty unnecessary to turn it into a jab at me being inferior (which is absolutely what you are implying) because I said some people don't like high school.

I sympathize with the OP and her daughter, I do realize that not all have an amazing experience as a teen, but you seem to think that’s the majority. It’s not.