Home based "selling" parties etiquette question

[sunshinehighway]

Good timing on this one! I was invited to a Thirty One party tonight by some girls from work. I told them "no thanks"- and they were fine with it and didn't tell me to come to socialize. Phew- because even though they know I don't want to buy anything, I would have felt like I needed to buy something "small" anyway. I'm really not into that Thirty One stuff. I know people love it, but I find it to be overpriced tote bags. I bought a lunchbox a few months ago when my neighbor had a party, and she has now become a consultant. UGH. She pressured me to have a party and I said NO and stuck to my guns. I don't need FREE overprice tote bags.

I have had my share of these parties in the past- Longaberger was a biggie- but my desire for that stuff has long fizzled out. The only two that I would consider going to anymore are Tastefully Simple and Pampered Chef. Even then, the stuff is $$.

Thirty One was the last of these type of parties I went to. A relative had it and I felt an obligation to go. It just wasn't my thing. I'm a purse girl but those just aren't my style. I ended up spending $45 on a makeup/travel bag. I just kept thinking about how I could have gotten a much nicer one at the Kate Spade outlet.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I think your mistake was in not taking the catalog from her. You could have left in on your chair, on the table, etc. when you were ready to leave. I agree with a pp that when you declined, you set off a trigger in her.
When she asked if you wanted to order, you say "I haven't decided on anything yet."
A good time to leave is when she is busy taking another's order.

 

[badblackpug]

The OP shouldn't have had to go to any subterfuge to avoid buying something. She was very upfront with the hostess about the fact that she couldn't afford to buy something. The hostess made it sound like she was invited for social reasons, and told her that she wasn't expected to buy something. I don't know if the hostess conveyed that message to the seller, of if the hostess also had the plan that the OP would change her mind through embarrassment and peer pressure and buy something (now that I learn that the hostess does profit from hosting)

Either way, I think it was very rude of the seller to try to pressure the OP into buying. When the OP said she couldn't afford it, the seller could have very nicely handed her the catalog and said, "Here's the catalog, my info is on it if things change," and left it at that.

OP, if you are friendly with the neighbor maybe approach her and say, "You know, I am kind of embarrassed that I didn't buy anything, your sister in law seemed annoyed. I'm sorry she is upset, but I did let you know ahead of time that I couldn't afford it. If I thought it was going to cause a problem, I would have stayed home."

 

[OceanAnnie]

I am not one for those kind of parties. I don't want to buy something that I don't like or won't use. I don't like any sort of pressure from friends or otherwise. I don't want to host a party. I'm just not into that kind of thing. I'm not the target guest, that's for sure.

It seems like if you do one, you get on the party circuit. That's what friends have told me. I took that to heart and haven't done any.

 

[Ephany]

My mom, sister and best friend all have joined this party mentality. It's jewelry and make-up mostly, and you'd think after knowing me for decades they'd remember I rarely wear jewelry or make-up. They push and push and push and it's so obnoxious. My mom will send the stuff to DD as a gentle nudge to me and it's junk. Half of the time it arrives in pieces, so not worth the aggravation!

 

[piglet too]

Is Pampered Chef fun?

Pampered Chef is one of my favorite parties to go to, after Tastefully Simple of course. I love getting new recipes and trying them at PC parties. As a TS consultant, I am always suggesting new menu ideas to party guests. Sure, it is using products that they could then buy from me, but at least it is food.

 

[aprilgail2]

I really hate going to those things, so ackward. I usually only go to them if they are friends or family and yes I do feel obligated to buy something.

If I know for sure that I will not be buying anything then I would no way attend the party. I would not feel right doing that. I don't care how many times they said "oh you don't have to buy, just come"-I would not go. The party is a selling party, if I am not buying, I am not going.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

my problem with this isn't the party itself.

My problem would be the sales rep calling her out for not making a purchase and then pushing it on her to try and sell the product herself to her co-workers !

are you freaking kidding me ? you want me to take extra order forms to MY work and sell your product ?

 

[KateKat23]

So I sell for a home based business but I really only do it because I like the product alot myself so I like the discounts and I like to make a little extra spending cash for our Disney trips. Now this is just a very part time gig not my full time job. When I do a party which maybe 2 a year and they are just with my good friends, I always have the disclaimer I will not try to sell you anything and I will for sure not pressure you into a doing a party or become a consultant either. And I mean it. I truly don't care if people don't buy anything. I figure if they see the product that maybe down the road they will get ahold of me for something. I have gone to parties where I have walked out with junk and am upset with myself because I spend so much money on the junk!!
I did once go to one of our monthly meetings and let me tell you I will never do that again. They were so hard core on selling to everyone that they come in contact with. I walked out of that meeting thinking I am not going to drink the juice.

 

[mumto3girls]

It is totally fine to attend these parties and not buy anything. I would have had some fun with your neightbor's SIL selling person.

I hosted a few Tupperware and candle parties in my day. My parties were fun and I served booze and good food.

If you bought, you bought. If you didn't, I enjoyed throwing the party and liked having you there. I would always have to have a chat with my party person ahead of time that she would get more sales from my people by being laid back instead of using pressure.

You know, I haven't been invited to one in about 10 years. I assume they've died out in my circle.

A few people at work had the jewelry party, but I really just don't like fake jewelry enough to buy it all of the time.

Is Pampered Chef fun?

I don't know if Pampered Chef is so much fun (I think that depends on the hostess and the consultant) but I was one of the people who said they enjoy those parties and my reason is that I like some of their cooking tools. I have several things that I bought more than 10 years ago that I use on a weekly if not daily basis. In my experience the food was usually pretty good too, but that also depended on the hostess.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I don't go to these parties, ever. If I want to buy something, I go to a store or order it online. OP, you did nothing wrong. You were upfront with your friend, and she said to come anyway. Ignore her SIL.

 

[disykat]

I don't usually go to those, haven't even been invited in years, but I think expecting guests to buy just because they came would be rude. You invited people to shop, and not all shoppers buy. I admit I've sometimes bought a little something just to be supportive, but if there's nothing that would come in handy I'm NOT buying. Longenberger and Princess crystal are two parties I've attended (a long time ago!) and not bought anything.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I'm going to guess that SIL told neighbor "just invite people, it's totally ok if they don't buy", and neighbor really thought that.

Then when SIL has you all in the house, she's in "selling mode" and just thinks "I'm so good at this, I can get everyone to buy something". There are some people who really think it's an attribute if they're a "good salesperson"... I can sell ice to an Eskimo type mentality. I personally think it's very rude to push to sell someone something they don't want/need.

If you're invited again, you have a good reason to say to neighbor "last time your SIL made me feel very awkward, if it's her again, I just can't come" all said w/ a smile.

That is what they do and bank on the embarrassment factor. That is why I always decline an invitation to one of these parties. They sell overpriced things that most of us would not typically buy. One of my friends had a Leah Sophia party. She insisted that I come because it was "expensive" jewlery and I would like it because I have a lot of nice pieces already. I asked if it was gold, silver or "fashion" (ie costume). She told me it was "fashion" and I told her that I cannot wear it it gives me a rash. End of story. If it is cosmetics, I tell them that brand makes my skin break out. Neither of which is a lie.

It is hard to decline when people insisit that you come "just for the fun". But I do not find it fun to sit around and buy things out of a " traveling salesman's" suitcase. I would much rather make a day of it with my friends and go shopping in a store where my choices are not limited and I am not pressured to buy.

 

[dakcp2001]

I always decline those parties. I am not interested in any party that meets the following criteria

1. There will be a sales pitch of any kind
2. If it is the first get together or social gathering I have ever been invited to by this person- and there involves a sales pitch
3. If they have tricked me into the past into attending one of these types of events

I have a hard time saying no, they do embarrass you. I have been tricked into these events on two instances. Once I left immediately, it was an adult toy party thrown by my sister in law and in attendance was my mother in law and all my sister in laws. NO THANKS? The other time it was a Tupperware party ad. Ended up getting guilted into buying something. Never again.

 

[DebbieB]

If I know for sure that I will not be buying anything then I would no way attend the party. I would not feel right doing that. I don't care how many times they said "oh you don't have to buy, just come"-I would not go. The party is a selling party, if I am not buying, I am not going.

I agree. If you go to one of these parties, you are expected to buy.

I was tricked one time too. About 10 years ago I was attending group counseling and stayed friends with some in the group. We got together about once a month at someone's house or a restaurant. We were invited to the apartment of one of the friends and it turned out to be a Mary Kay party! I felt decieved and didn't feel obligated to buy anything. That was the last time we got together unfortunately.

 

[leeshiebean]

There are some companies that I'm interested in, and others that I am not. I just usually opt not to go if I'm not interested in the product (i.e. any jewelry items, and usually pampered chef). However, I am a fan of scentsy, TS, and 31 (which I recently signed on to a be a consultant because I'm buying my first house and want to get a bunch of bins for myself, haha), so I do go to those parties and will usually buy something.

It's like when you go into a store to browse, and the salesperson won't stop bothering you and pushing you to buy. I hate that. I had to do a short stint in a retail store when I first moved to a new state, and I was such a poor salesperson. I tried not to bother with anyone besides saying "do you have any questions?", and then I left them alone. I never pushed products or our "customer card" that they had to pay for, because most of the time I thought it was dumb. So now that I sell 31, I'm reaching out to those I know who buy it already, and make myself available to them when they want to get more stuff. I haven't even done an in-home party yet! Just online orders.