Holiday House Hopping- How do you decide?

[ilovejack02]

We dont go anywhere unless we really want too.
I told the family when we got married that once we had kids they were going to have to visit us. I didnt have kids for 6 yrs so we just got together at one house.. either my parents or my inlaws. Thank goodness my family loves each other and because I dont have siblings and DS only has one it worked out fine.

Now we stay home and all come to us if they want to see us. The weekend up before xmas and new years we run around to the rest of the family.. Great Aunts, cousins etc.

We usually have a houseful on xmas, I tell them all to bring a dish if they want to come for dinner, but I dont demand it. I know everyone wants their time with their own family. I prepare a gumbo and sweets..so easy!
Sometimes my parents will just show up for breakfast and open presents and then head home to be together or church. Sometimes they stay all day.. I dont care as long as no one expects me to be the big hostess.

Sometimes if it gets real quiet in the evening we will venture out to close friends to check out everyone's loots and give hugs .

 

[mcvixen]

I feel very grateful for my own Christmas situation. I'm an only child with my parents living minutes away. So Christmas Day... they come over, watch DD open her gifts, eat a nice lunch, it's great. The day always feels so peaceful and happy.

The ILs are currently snowbirding so they aren't even around at Christmas. BUT, to give MIL credit, when she was here, she would NEVER presume to book anything on Christmas Day. "That's for each of my children to have with THEIR OWN FAMILY", she always says. I have a very respectful MIL!!! (No wonder my husband turned out right).

I have several friends that have the exact opposite situation. Both sets of (grand)parents divorced... that makes 4 separate visits, plus any additional family visits... and each divorced grandparent seems to make a huge fuss about getting time on "the day", which just makes it so stressful and crazy.

 

[ilovejack02]

I feel very grateful for my own Christmas situation. I'm an only child with my parents living minutes away. So Christmas Day... they come over, watch DD open her gifts, eat a nice lunch, it's great. The day always feels so peaceful and happy.

The ILs are currently snowbirding so they aren't even around at Christmas. BUT, to give MIL credit, when she was here, she would NEVER presume to book anything on Christmas Day. "That's for each of my children to have with THEIR OWN FAMILY", she always says. I have a very respectful MIL!!! (No wonder my husband turned out right).

I have several friends that have the exact opposite situation. Both sets of (grand)parents divorced... that makes 4 separate visits, plus any additional family visits... and each divorced grandparent seems to make a huge fuss about getting time on "the day", which just makes it so stressful and crazy.

We are lucky with our inlaws I thank God for them everyday!

I feel bad for families like your friends!

 

[IZHAYMAMA]

We usually spend Christmas Eve with my in-laws and then Christmas Day with my mother's family. My father gets my leftover time late Christmas Day. Two years ago my husband's job moved us about 100 miles away from "home" and we have been driving back and forth to each of our families homes just so we could have Santa with our two children at our home. It's crazy and exhausting. This year we haven't decided what to do. We're heading down to WDW on Christmas Day and I am trying to talk my DD8 into just staying at my IL's house for Christmas Eve. I told her that we could write Santa and let him know where we will be to deliver her presents. She doesn't want any part of it. She wants Santa to come to her house. She doesn't know that we are going to WDW as Santa is surprising her with this trip Christmas morning. My husband wants no part of driving back to our house 100 miles because of Santa and than turning around and driving another 100 miles before we drive the 400 miles to WDW! What to do, what to do?

 

[samshane]

In the past we spent Christmas with my parents in Vegas... this year DH is in Iraq so i am staying home. It just has never been an issue - DH's parents live in FL and VA (we live in WA state) so we just always went to Vegas (Dh loves it there - so he'd rather go there anyway). We will probably resume this trip next year since Dh will be back this summer.

 

[pixiedancr]

When dh and I first got married and had our ds we were told we didn't have a choice we HAD to spend Christmas Eve and Day with my IL's(they lived three hours away). One year we flew to see my parents and spent Christmas with them...well for two months leading up to the blessed holidays all we received were hateful calls from the IL's. So after that we just went to the IL's so we didn't have to deal with the screaming. Once we had our dd we changed things and said if you want to see us for Christmas then travel and see us. (this was partially due to the fact that I hated the one sided business of Christmas and even though my parents never complained he knew it hurt them). That lead to more hatefilled calls.

Now we live 14 hours away from them and it makes it easier because they can't be as mean about the traveling but they do make snide remarks leading up to the holidays. We just blow them off. Our door is always open for any holiday anyone of them can come and visit and now our hoidays are not so one sided.

I do miss the holidays from when I was little...Christmas Eve was usually just us or with my mom's parents if they were home that year and Christmas day we would spend everyother year with my dad's parents(on the off year it was New Year's day). It was never stressful on my mom and dad at all. My sister when she got married and had kids of her own(I was 7) they would always spend Christmas day just their family but would come to Christmas at Grandpa's when it was on New Years.

Good Luck with trying to figure it out. I'm sure it can't be worse then my situation was so many years ago. I do have to admit it helps to see that so many people just spend the holiday's like we do...my MIL tries to guilt us every year about how awful parents we are.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

My parents are in Missouri, and my ILs are in NH. We live an hour from the ILs in Boston. When we lived in Missouri, we spent the holidays with my folks, no questions or issues. When we moved to Boston, My folks began flying out for Christmas -- which is awesome! But I had to put a stop to my SIL's determination to continue to do what she had since she was a child (at least for my family) once I had ds. The dh's parents divorced when he was 3. From that time on, they did Christmas Eve with Dad, and Christmas Day with Mom. So, we had to drive to NH for the evening, drive home, then drive back to NH the next day. I did this once. The next year I was 8 months pregnant. DSIL called up dh and gave him a very hard time because we weren't coming. Hello?! I was the size of the GoodYear Blimp, and not up for a long ride. This finally gave him a clue, and we stopped doing whatever his older sis wanted with regards to his family. I also wasn't hauling my almost-one year old around like that the next year, and the tradition was broken. She can and should do whatever she wants. My ds spends Christmas at our home (or a vacation destination, but we haven't gotten that far yet...), not being hauled around and miserable.

We host a family party earlier in the month, and everyone is welcome. That works well for us. Then all the families can have their individual celebrations in their own homes.

Maria

 

[crysplefty]

For Thanksgiving we used to switch every year. We would have our meal around 1 pm at one set of parents' house and do dessert that evening at the other set of parents' house. For Christmas we would do Christmas Eve with DH's parents and Christams day at my parents' house. My son was born in October 2005 and that year my DH's parents decided they would no longer do Thanksgiving. However, every year they still see us on Thanksgiving since they come to my family's Thanksgiving get together. But my in-laws are very self centered and everything has to revolve around them, so they think that because we do Thanksgiving with my family that they deserve to have us at their house for both Christmas Eve and Christmas. It has caused arguments every year and I'm sure it will cause arguments again this year too. My husband is a firefighter and my sister is on call alot, so we always do our best to make sure both sets of parents get equal time with the kids, but that is never good enough for my in-laws. They expect us to go straight to their house when we leave Christmas Eve mass and stay their till like 9pm. Then they want us back at their house 10 am Christmas morning. My DH and I both don't like to leave the house Christmas so our kids can enjoy their new toys. Both of our parents live 5 minutes away from us, but only my parents visit us. DH and I haven't discussed when we will be visiting with his family for Christmas yet. That is always the dreaded topic for us to discuss, because we know no matter what we choose his parents will not be satisfied.