High school sports vent: Now WHEN is it that we're supposed to take vacation?!?

[Hannathy]

IMO what the OP was complaining about and what I was complaining about is the unknown in all of these things. If it is your first child you do not know that a sport will practice during a school sanctioned break, that they will pick a day out of the hat in the middle of summer and demand the kids be there for something.
Once they have played or gone to that school you will know and plan accordingly. For all the smart answers about if you want to play be there, She states what they knew about she scheduled for, us to, but it is the unknown you can't plan for. If this is the case then the school year before an announcement should be made that anyone planning on sports will need to be available for spring break, July.... etc. I did not play sports in HS, this is my first child how do you know? and if you know about sports do you know all the requirements for cheer team or dance competion or odyssey of the mind teams? It is pretty unreasonable to expect every family to know every teams requirements BEFORE they even join them!

 

[sharbear]

Since track is such an individual sport, it would be in the realm of possibility that you could talk to the coach and see if he could work out on his own during spring break. My S runs track and he works out on his own if we have plans during breaks. The baseball team on the other hand is required to practice during breaks, it's not a sport that you can practice by yourself (well you can, but ....).

I know that you cancelled your trip for other reasons but I've found that cross country and track coaches were pretty easy going about conflicts. Basketball and Baseball coaches are not very flexible.

Now for my pet peeve. Michigan passed a law this year that school can not start until after Labor Day. They want to extend the tourist season in the state. This is good in theory but I wonder how it will work in reality. If you have a child in HS, they have sport practices and band that start in August. Football usually has two games before Labor Day. My SIL scheduled a vacation the week before Labor Day. We can't visit them, we have school and practices and maybe a kid going to college that week. (depending on which school he chooses). She has a child going into HS this year, he plays in the band and he wants to go out for soccer. I wonder when she is going to figure out that her child will need to be in town for practices that week. You can't tell her, she doesn't listen, I wonder how they will feel when the one week they have off for vacation they will have to cancel.

 

[geffric]

We are in the same boat and understand that for the then next XX year's that we are not going to have a family type vacation..My oldest is in HS and is involved in Cross Country, Track ( indoor and outdoor). Youngest one is in 7th grade ( different school district, different days off) plays football, wrestling and track.They do not have the same days off during the year, so we can't as a family do anything as one of the boys has school. The only time both boys can take vacationat the same time is winterbreak but I can NEVER take that time off as it is year end.

So this year I began taking each one on a seperate trip for a long weekend. It has been very special to enjoy each child on this basis.

it is a shock, 'cause I like have some family time like this without the stress of homework etc. but we have adjusted..

 

[Nancy]

My Daughter does high school sports and I have never seen a mandatory meeting during school breaks that every member of the team has been at. They are on vacation with their families. My daughter has missed mandatory practices because they are scheduled last minute and if she is working guess which comes first? WORK. We just let the coach know a head of time and he is ok with it. Never seen anyone kicked off the teams. We don't take vacations all that much so it isn't an issue for us, but there are families that go away for every break, Christmas, winter and Easter.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Cal Ripken has written a very good book about youth sports and it's true that many kids have dropped out by 12yo. There is so much push to have kids excel that many drop out because it's not fun. I don't have a problem with hard work, but for little kids it also needs to be fun. It needs to start with basic skills and work from there. It needs to allow for other things in life, including family and vacations.

My husband read Cal's book and said it was excellent. I don't feel practice should be mandatory during a school break. My DS11's little league coach scheduled a practice on Mother's Day! Only one player showed up, his own son.

My husband and I decided to introduce our children to sports that they will play for a lifetime. Last year they were on the golf, tennis and swim teams. We want them to exercise for fun to become and stay healthy adults. I think track would also be an excellent choice.

Barb, I'm glad you are going to have some day trips planned over break. After I lost my father, I became aware how important family time really is to me. A fifth grader in my son's class just lost his mom within 3 weeks of her cancer diagnosis. Life is precious and family comes first.

Lori

 

[NMAmy]

I had some problems before when dd was playing basketball--not with the school games but with the competitive league she was playing on as well. When she tried out for it, I had the list of practices/games, etc, in advance and everything looked great. She made the team and a couple of weeks in, I got the big surprise. The coaches wanted the parents to vote about going away to tournaments during Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Big problem for me--I share joint custody with my ex. She lives with me but spends each school holiday with him in New Mexico. I had to explain my situation and was thoroughly chastised by the other parents--dd was good and they wanted her at the tourneys. When I explained that basketball was important but not something I was willing to defy a court order for--particularly when the tourneys were not mentioned in the schedules. I ended up pulling dd out of that league for that very reason. Those people were fanatical about basketball and, frankly, freaked me out a bit.

 

[HayGan]

Irregardless of why you had to cancel, I'm so sorry you had to cancel your WDW trip. I can't imagine having to cancel a trip. I would be truly heartbroken.

I missed many fun events in high school due to softball practice and it always made me mad However, I learned alot about commitment from it and I can understand where coaches are coming from in making practices/ events mandatory. In most cases it is a team sport that we are talking about. So much of teamwork is learning to make decisions that may not be the best for you personally but benefit the team as a whole. Team performance can have a huge impact on many students futures (college scholarships etc.). High school athletics are an important factor for many students and should not be taken lightly. Sports are for some what academics are for others.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My husband read Cal's book and said it was excellent.

Cal is truly a very centered guy and has a lot of great ideas concerning youth sports, not just baseball. My DH went to a couching clinic of his a learned a lot. A very humble man, too. My son played at a tournament that his son played at one time and when I saw Cal's blue eyes I thought I was going to fall over. Not that that has anything to do with his ideas on youth sports, but it doesn't hurt.

 

[Barb D]

I don't understand when the OP states "vent" in her subject matter that people need to come down on her. How about just explaining to her how high school athletics tend to work (like some people did)? Sometimes it just helps to spout off about something even if we can't solve her problem.

THANK YOU, Tigger&Belle. I DO understand how high school athletics work (having already been through football season); I just didn't realize that Spring Break would be gone too...and yes, I was just venting.

A couple of posters lamented about how it's "all about sports" etc, and wondered why we parents go along with it. In my DS's case, he wants to go to a service academy, so sports ARE very important. At this point, track team IS more important than this particular family vacation. If it weren't for the financial situation (the other reason we're cancelling the trip -- again, track was just the straw that broke the camel's back), I might have timidly approached the coach to see if DS could miss some practices.

So now, between DS and DD12, we're looking at the next 6 years of high school sports, summer swim team, possibly jobs, etc. Spring Break is out, most of summer is out (and I hate heat anyway), Christmas I really like to spend at home...

And then DS will be in college and then DD will be in college...

And by that time DD6 will be approaching high school age...

WILL WE EVER GET A FAMILY VACATION AGAIN?!?

Venting...Venting...Only venting....

 

[Tigger&Belle]

LOL Look at the bright side and think of all the money you will save!

I'm faced with the same thing. My oldest son (15yo) isn't involved in high school sports and my college DD was only in swim team, but my 12yo is very involved in baseball (and is good) and is also involved in basketball (not as good, though), so we'll be hit hard when he goes to high school. He's in 7th grade now. And I have a 6yo who is in kindergarten so I'll get to go through it all again. What was I thinking??? Or maybe I wasn't.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

This is why we had two kids (both boys by chance ) two years apart. DH's rule was that once we stopped diapers we were never going back.

I understand people not wanting sports to dominate a kids life, but would you feel the same about show choir? How about if you had a vacation planned and your kid got a lead in the school play?

Everyone laments the fact that many 12 year olds drop out of athletics. But nobody mentions the fact that this funnel effect also happens in vocal and instrumental music, theater, etc. Kids try things out and if they find something they are good at and/or enjoy, they continue. Just imagine having to allow EVERYONE to participate in the school play. Or in a select show choir performance. How about orchestra? The same is true for athletics.... some have talent and passion for each. They should all be allowed to perform at the top of their potential - in whatever activity they select.

IMO varsity athletics... the commitment, the teamwork, the highs and lows, the challenges, the wins AND the losses...... it all prepares kids for the real world. And I am sure those involved in dance, music, acting, quiz bowl, etc.... would be able to argue the exact same point.

Would I like to go to Disney for Christmas? You bet! But the five non-contact days my boys have from basketball (the five days they spend playing with their teammates at the rec center in the next town) are hardly enough to pack up and travel from the midwest to Florida and enjoy a vacation. So we do not go. I guess it all boils down to the fact that we all have to make choices. I wonder what the OP's son would say, given the choice to stay or go. That would factor into my decision as well.

 

[dolphindan1]

I wonder what the OP's son would say, given the choice to stay or go. That would factor into my decision as well.

Valid point...I think they should have a say so in the decision....some posters talk about getting prepared for the real world....this would be a great lesson in preparing for it....

 

[LisaNJ25]

Before canceling your trip (unless it is a money issue), speak with the coach and explain your situation. If that does not help, speak to the Athletic Director; if that doesn't solve it speak to the principal. It is not fair to the student, or the student's families to schedule so many practices. It makes it impossible for students to be involved on other activities. Part of the high school experience should be to explore different things and "find one's self".

Often times, we say one thing to the students and mean another. If we said that practices were not mandatory and took a hard line stance, no one would show up.

I am one of those PITA band directors and am pretty flexible with students. If there is a legitimate reason for missing rehearsals then they are not penalized. A previously planed family vacation is acceptable. Under no circumstances can a student miss a dress rehearsal or a performance. They would fail the class.

By the way LisaNJ25....I'm not certain who is a bigger PITA...underpaid teachers that stay after school in order to give your child a rewarding experience, or non supportive parents. If we are such a PITA do not alow your child to participate.

Hmmmm I dont see where I said that the teachers personally were being a PITA.

 

[CheshireVal]

When I was 14, I probably would have dropped out of track before I'd miss a Disney vacation.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

When I was 14, I probably would have dropped out of track before I'd miss a Disney vacation.

And I have a 14 and a nearly 16 year old that do not want to miss school and/or practice for ANYTHING.

Different strokes!

 

[Sleepy]

The problem with my son's activity is that he goes to an Italian ballet school. Their holidays don't correspond with ours. Christmas only corresponds one week of the two. Easter usually misses by a week. We are just used to waiting until summer to do anything. Missing more than 3 days in a row without a doctors note can result in expulsion. Since my son is on a career path, missing is not an option.