High school sports vent: Now WHEN is it that we're supposed to take vacation?!?

[Marseeya]

I'm sorry you had to cancel your trip.

When I was in school, band was a huge commitment for me. My parents had a hard time scheduling vacations around it, but that's the way it went, unfortunately. I think back on it now, and I'm grateful that they honored that commitment by not pressuring me or making me feel bad about the hassles (not that you're doing this, by any means!). It's one of the few things my parents did right by me.

 

[georgina]

I agree. Sorry, don't really feel bad for you. I would naturally assume I'd have mandatory practice during spring break and the summer.

Those of us who are new to High School sports would have no reason to "naturally assume" there would be practice over spring break and summer. It sounds ludicrous to me. DD started field hockey last fall and had to miss the entire preseason because we had a 2 week trip to Yellowstone planned. She didn't play as much as she would have liked, but did get a most improved player award at the end of the season. This summer we knew not to plan a vacation the first 2 weeks of August.

 

[kilee]

School sports (and activities can be hard). Unfortunately, if a child cannot make all the practices (w/ true illness being an exception) then the student and parents need to understand that could be why they don't have any playing time. I think the whole being a freshman thing isn't a valid point. Nor the vacation only a month away. Almost all jr and high school sports practice almost everyday. Heck, even things like pee-wee football around here practice 5 days a week for the first 6 weeks. The great thing is the child doesn't have to do the sports. If there is a family life conflict- then the season will need to be missed.
I know we always have a big family vacation over Labor Day week/weekend right before school starts here. Anyhow, this will be the first year for DS to play school football, as opposed to little league. In little league he could miss the week's practice--- but the 1 week out meant benching it for 2 full games. Now w/ him playing school ball this year- I know he'll have to be there. They don't have a schedule yet.... so I got the whole family to go the last week of July hoping it's just early enough to make it. (It's only modified and the first game isn't usually until mid Sept.).
Around here students can start school sports in 7th grade---and all 3 levels (modified, JV, and varsity) run the same way. Other school's don't start sports until 9th grade?????

 

[Barb D]

If you wanna be on the team, go to the practices scheduled. If you don't then don't be on the team. That is the way I see it. Part of finding oneself includes learning that if one makes committments then they should fulfill them.

Believe me, I know about making scheduled practices. DS and I flew home from a family wedding (at extra expense and great trouble) so that he wouldn't miss a football practice. But that I KNEW about far ahead of time. I certainly didn't assume that there would be mandatory practices during Spring Break. Now I know.

I agree. Sorry, don't really feel bad for you.

I'm not sure what your point is here. I'm glad DS has opportunities to play sports, but I must admit that I'm a bit depressed about not going to WDW, and having no idea of when we'll be able to work it out. Can I at least have a TEENY bit of sympathy?

 

[Michie]

I just always left my boys at home. I know their wrestling coach made it quiet clear unless you were dead, ok, I take that back if you were dead they could use you for a wrestling dummy.

This is not directed at you Barb, just in general, it always suprised me, and ticked the coach off when he had made it VERY clear, no missed practises, when parents would ask permission to go on trips etc. oh, yeah, he gave them permission all right. All the days they wanted.

 

[georgina]

Around here students can start school sports in 7th grade---and all 3 levels (modified, JV, and varsity) run the same way. Other school's don't start sports until 9th grade?????

DD tried out for softball in 7th grade - was cut. She tried out for softball in 8th grade - was cut. She tried again in 9th grade - cut again. Field hockey is only in its second year as a developmental club sport - no cuts! So this was our first experience with anything other than recreational teams. We're more of an academic family than an athletic one - so we had no clue what was expected. She never missed a practice or a game after the preseason and the coaches could see she had a good attitude and didn't complain about only playing about half the games. It was a learning experience.

 

[Barb D]

Around here students can start school sports in 7th grade---and all 3 levels (modified, JV, and varsity) run the same way. Other school's don't start sports until 9th grade?????

No sports (except PE class) in middle school here. Our first experience with school sports was JV football (and now track.) DD12 plays volleyball, but not through school. No major committment there.

 

[FayeW]

I guess we take a more realistic approach here. My son plays both hockey and soccer, and it is understood, and expected (especially in soccer) that the players will miss some games and practice due to family vacations. Even the COACHES miss a couple of weeks for holidays! Our hockey coach and his son will miss a week for spring break. I don't know how your system evolved to give coaches so much control over your childrens' lives. I don't know why you allow it.

 

[jfulcer]

Yeah, sure.....IF the commitment is CLEAR in the beginning AND does a coach have the right to dictate scheduling just 30 days away from a vacation that has been planned for months? No way! Incoming freshman/kids new to the team should be given a training assignment(weights/cross training/miles ran) if they can't make practice during a vacation already committed to financially by their unknowing parents. Second year participants should know and therefore NOT plan vacations. Sports is NOT about rigidity. Sportmanship should be part of the adults personality and expecting a parent with money down to cancel a vacation with no more than a months notice is POOR SPORTSMANSHIP.

I'm sorry, but getting into High School sports it becomes all about rigidity and commitment. The teams needs to practice to win. If you son/daughter chose to participate they should also be participating in the practices. If the coach has made it clear that there are no exceptions, then either follow the rules, or don't play.

I do feel sorry that you will miss the vacation, but if the coach gave you an exception then someone else will expect an exception, and so and and so on until everyone was on vacation. It's the 'me first' mentality again. You have to draw the line somewhere so draw it the same for everyone else.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I guess we take a more realistic approach here. My son plays both hockey and soccer, and it is understood, and expected (especially in soccer) that the players will miss some games and practice due to family vacations. Even the COACHES miss a couple of weeks for holidays! Our hockey coach and his son will miss a week for spring break. I don't know how your system evolved to give coaches so much control over your childrens' lives. I don't know why you allow it.

Unfortunately here, it is WIN at all costs. Win, win, win. It is sad, sad, sad.

I read a study that most children drop out of organized sports at the age of 12 in the US. These children are made to feel that if they aren't the best at a sport then they should stop playing. It is part of the obesity problem in our country. It's not enough for our children to have a good experience while playing a sport. They are expected to WIN. If they go a family vacation, we might not WIN.

Why can't kids just participate in a sport for the fun of it?

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Basically for our family there will be no vacations while the kids are in high school, because they both participate in varsity athletics. As a former coach, I will never pull them out during a sports season. Particularly in a team sport, you are hurting the team as well as you own child. One of the most important lessons in sports is that there is no "I" in team.

If my kids make the commitment to participate on a team then they will be at every practice and game if at all possible. Imagine taking your kid on vacation for a week, only to return and find out they had lost their position. Or on the flip side, imagine your child working their tail off, only to have some kid who had been gone for a week play ahead of them.

From a coaching perspective, if you take your child out for a week, you just give someone else a chance to move up if they work hard.

It's COMPETITIVE athletics, not rec league.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Why can't kids just participate in a sport for the fun of it?

They can... just not in competitive high school athletics. This is what intramural and rec leagues are for.

 

[Stacerita]

They can... just not in competitive high school athletics. This is what intramural and rec leagues are for.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Has your child played rec. league lately? It is just as bad.

 

[scanne]

I read posts like this and can't help thinking how much I hate the "sports is life" mentality.

I teach at a middle school and the basketball coach is just like this. He won't let the kids on the team do ANYTHING else extra-curricular during basketball season, tells them not to go skiing with their families, heck, he wouldn't even let them miss 5 minutes of practice one day to come to a meeting for stage crew! It is UTTERLY ridiculous. It seems to me it's all about WINNING. No, life is about experience and I think to force a child to put more into a sport than anything else is simply wrong.

To the OP - I hope you're able to work this out and still take your vacation to WDW.

 

[Barb D]

From a coaching perspective, if you take your child out for a week, you just give someone else a chance to move up if they work hard.

It's COMPETITIVE athletics, not rec league.

Just to clarify -- this was a scheduled vacation on a scheduled school break, not pulling them out of school.

Also, DS brought home paperwork from the meeting, and it turns out the practices aren't EVERY day on Spring Break after all...but still enough that we couldn't go on vacation. At least we'll be able to take a day trip or two that week, though.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Maybe, the coach threw in the word MANDATORY for the kids who like to sleep in and goof off all day, instead of going to practice.


Have you talked to the coach? Any teacher/coach should realize that family time comes before any sport. Before you panic, call the coach and explain your situation. Your DS may have to suffer a consequence for not being at practice that week, but let him do his time, and then he will have the rest of the year to enjoy track. I am sure he won't mind sitting out a few meets (maybe just one) as payment for a trip to WDW. I am almost positive he won't be thrown off the team.

edited to ask: these are just practices he will be missing? No meets are scheduled, correct?

If they are just practices, I say poo-poo the coach. Your DS is not letting his team down by not being there for a meet. Tell your coach you or your DH will get up with him early everyday, and he can run in the morning. You can also tell the coach you will be at every rope drop in every park every morning, and you can have your son SPRINT to the popular rides.

Sorry, but to make a kid miss a trip to WDW for a handful of practices is a little over the top for me.

 

[dolphindan1]

I would talk to the coach first....being a person who played Varsity Football, Basketball, Baseball and Track for 4 years of HS I have to disagree with the HS having that much power over your child and your family....College would be a bit different....I for one would look at it like this how many more chances am I gonna have to take a family vacation anywhere with my young child....Is this sport gonna pay for his/her future....I think the family is more important than a couple seasons of basketball....I was an all conference basketball player in HS and had chances to play at a few small colleges and Exeter Academy but we took our vacations usually during basketball season to go to whatever bowl game the Clemson Tigers were going too and it never jeapordized my position on the team...However this may sound bad but if the child is a star on that particular team its not gonna hurt them but if they are struggling for time then it will....I know that is not right but its the way of sports....I have 2 boys and I can gaurantee family will come first in there lives cause family will be there till they die....that HS wont....

 

[Buckalew11]

Whenever we have practices on Fall or Christmas break they are not mandatory. At Christmas you must turn in an excuse as to why you aren't there ( going out of town to visit relatives is fine. Sleeping in or catching a movie is not OK).

I do remember when I was in HS our tennis coach wouldn't let his players swim on the swim team. Tennis was a spring sport and it didn't matter to him that you could actually participate in both. It was one or the other. I didn;t want to swim but I still thought it was an unfair rule.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Unfortunately here, it is WIN at all costs. Win, win, win. It is sad, sad, sad.

I read a study that most children drop out of organized sports at the age of 12 in the US. These children are made to feel that if they aren't the best at a sport then they should stop playing. It is part of the obesity problem in our country. It's not enough for our children to have a good experience while playing a sport. They are expected to WIN. If they go a family vacation, we might not WIN.

Why can't kids just participate in a sport for the fun of it?

Cal Ripken has written a very good book about youth sports and it's true that many kids have dropped out by 12yo. There is so much push to have kids excel that many drop out because it's not fun. I don't have a problem with hard work, but for little kids it also needs to be fun. It needs to start with basic skills and work from there. It needs to allow for other things in life, including family and vacations.

I don't understand when the OP states "vent" in her subject matter that people need to come down on her. How about just explaining to her how high school athletics tend to work (like some people did)? Sometimes it just helps to spout off about something even if we can't solve her problem.