High School Meet the Teacher

[ckay87]

Does your high school have a meet the teacher night? Not conferences, but an evening where you follow your student's schedule around and meet his different teachers? Do you go?

We went to ours last night and for all but 2 classes, we (DH and I) were the only parents there. So out of a class of at least 20 (probably more), just one kid's parents show up? Last week we attended the same event at the Middle School and I'd say most kids' parents were there. Maybe 75%. And of course in elementary school, every single parent was there, as I recall.

So what is the difference? Why is it so much more important to parents to meet the elementary/ms teachers than the high school teachers? These are not meetings about a child's progress, these are a handshake and a 5 minute course overview. I admit, it's a late night and I'd rather be doing other things. But it will be important to me to have some point of reference throughout the year when DS talks about a class or a teacher.

It seems like parents go nutso over school involvement on the elementary level, but then can easily let 4 years pass without even stepping foot inside the high school.

I admit to skipping parent-teacher conferences on the high school level. I stay aware of his grade at all times. If the grade is bad, it's pretty clear the reason why - not enough studying and homework completion. I don't feel like I need a conference for that.

But yea, I was astounded that there was such a tiny percentage of parents there at the high school last night, you know?

 

[swanmom]

WOW! At our high school Back-to-School night (last night), you couldn't move, couldn't find a seat in the classrooms, you could barely walk down the halls! In classes of 20, there were pretty much 40 parents there. You have to go extremely early to even find a place within 1/2 mile to park! We have a very, very competitive high school and parents expect to go and meet teachers, hear about the grading and curriculum and get contact information. What a strange difference - in your school, you could count on one hand the parents who showed up. In our school, I could count on one hand the parents who weren't there (mothers AND fathers).

BTW, from your sig, it doesn't look like we live in completely different parts of the country. We're relatively close!
BTW #2, this is not a private school. It is our township's public high school.

 

[agnes!]

We had that this week at DD's HS, it's called "Back to School" night here. The participation by the parents was actually very good, though. In terms of how crowded the classrooms were, it seems to me that probably 80-90% of students' parents were there.

But I'm with you ckay on this...some parents seem to almost take too much of a step back from any meaningful involvement when their kids reach the teenage years and high school. I've seen it with folks around here. They're all over Junior when he's in grade-school, but somehow think the kid doesn't need any interaction when 14 or 15 rolls around.

agnes!

 

[MerMom60_94]

DH and I both definitely participate in any chance we get to meet DDs teachers. This is our DDs first year in high school so I am curious to see how this will go. Her school isn't a community high school though, so I would think there would be a high level of participation. We'll see. Open house is October 4th. I know parents who never participated in these events in Jr High School and typically it is because they have older children and knew the teachers already.

 

[SydSim]

I remember one of DD's middle school teachers talking about this. He said parents are very involved when the kids are young, but feel that when they get older, they can step back - but they should actually be even more involved with the whole child/teacher/school thing. Not helicoptering

 

[sbell111]

Does your high school have a meet the teacher night? Not conferences, but an evening where you follow your student's schedule around and meet his different teachers? Do you go?

We went to ours last night and for all but 2 classes, we (DH and I) were the only parents there. So out of a class of at least 20 (probably more), just one kid's parents show up? Last week we attended the same event at the Middle School and I'd say most kids' parents were there. Maybe 75%. And of course in elementary school, every single parent was there, as I recall.

So what is the difference? Why is it so much more important to parents to meet the elementary/ms teachers than the high school teachers? These are not meetings about a child's progress, these are a handshake and a 5 minute course overview. I admit, it's a late night and I'd rather be doing other things. But it will be important to me to have some point of reference throughout the year when DS talks about a class or a teacher.

It seems like parents go nutso over school involvement on the elementary level, but then can easily let 4 years pass without even stepping foot inside the high school.

I admit to skipping parent-teacher conferences on the high school level. I stay aware of his grade at all times. If the grade is bad, it's pretty clear the reason why - not enough studying and homework completion. I don't feel like I need a conference for that.

But yea, I was astounded that there was such a tiny percentage of parents there at the high school last night, you know?

Was there any other factors that could cause the discrepency? Timeliness of notice? Different day of week? Time of day?

 

[dawson5]

This year was the first year I was able to attend. In the past my husband and I have split them. Even though all of my kids are in the same school district, you would think they would speak to each other when planning these things so that the parents could attend. In the past, they have had the meet the teacher night/open house on the same night for all schools. For grade and middle they at least staggered them so that I could go from one to the next, but the high school one was at the same time as the middle school one.

As for the parents, I try to stay involved but quite honestly the middle school doesn't ask for much help and high school it's almost non-existent. I've done proctoring and helped with the directory. This is over 2 years, DS is in 11th grade. I agree though, the turnout for grade and middle schools are huge. When we used to go for the grade school, we would walk because you could never find a place to park--luckily we live only 5 minutes away.

 

[j's m]

Ours is next week and both DH and I will be attending as always. Last year when DS was a freshman, all of the classes were crowded with parents and parking was a nightmare. But since he's in all honors classes maybe that accounts for the crowds, I'm not sure what attendance was like at the other levels.

 

[Inigo]

DH has taught HS for 21 years now. I think he's probably had a total of about 10 parents show up for Meet the Teacher night over the years. When he was at the middle school, he had teachers show up, but for some reason, parents just don't care at the HS level.

That said, I never went to the Meet the Teacher nights when my kids were in HS, but then again, my husband works at the school and we know all the teachers already and see them frequently. The others teachers could get with DH immediately if some issue with DD or DS arose.

 

[powellrj]

I can tell you why its so low in our schools its because most of the teachers aren't there and you spend 90 minutes wandering around.

When my oldest was a freshman, I couldn't wait to go and meet his teachers. There were 2 teachers there. The rest had notes on their doors that they weren't going to be there. The same thing happened the next year, so we just didn't go his last 2 years.

When my middle DS stated high school it was pretty much the samething. He was in choir so we did get to hear the choir perform which was worth the trip for us, but most of his other teachers weren't there.

DD is still in middle school and I know one of her teachers missed it last year so once, but the rest were there.

Unless you are involved with a booster organization such as band, choir or a sport, parents aren't welcome at our high schools and middle schools. There are no parent organizations such as a PTA or a PTO in our schools once you hit middle school.

 

[ckay87]

Was there any other factors that could cause the discrepency? Timeliness of notice? Different day of week? Time of day?

No it was like this last year, too, when he was a sophomore. Freshman year did have lots more parents in the classes, so it's pretty apparant how the parent interest drops from year to year.

I feel bad for the teachers. They have an incredibly long day (this thing ran til 9pm) and most prepare powerpoint presentations and handouts. They are all nicely dressed and ready.

 

[IHeartTink04]

I am a teacher at a middle school where we have "Back to School" night just like this and I have around 150 students and I think I had about 10 parents and their students show up. There was no one there....

 

[SC Minnie]

We went last year when DD was a freshman. I found out about this years the day before. DD already had drivers training that evening and we couldn't reschedule so we didn't go to open house.

As DD has gotten older we have had less and less interaction with her teachers. She is a good student and doesn't have behavioral issues so there is really no need. IMO that is part of raising her to be ready to go on her own when she goes to college- stepping just far enough back where she thinks she is independent but we are there to help if she needs it.

 

[golfgal]

Our school did this the week before school started. For the freshman and sophomores I would say close to 100% of the parents are there, juniors maybe 1/2 of the parents and seniors maybe 4-6 in each class. We were there because we had freshman but if we only had our senior we probably would not have gone. After 4 years of being in the building and knowing most of the teachers it isn't really necessary. We do go to conferences-they have a 90% attendance rate at conferences all 3 trimesters so parents are involved.

The back to school night is mainly set up for freshman to learn where their classes are. They used to have a separate night for sophomore-senior parents to meet teachers but this year they combined them.

 

[Becky2005]

I *always* go but I'm kind of geeky like that. My parents NEVER went to any of these events.

The only thing that might be a possible explination is -- what grade is your child?

I'm forseeing this happening in a couple years when I have a Senior & Freshman. You can't go to both of the kid's teachers. It's not set-up that way. Therefore, I'm going to have to pick & choose which classes, I'm seeing which teachers for. More than likely I will go to the Freshman's classes as he struggles in school more plus with DD being a Senior, she will have less classes. In addition, unless DS is taking choir -- it's the *same* choir teacher all 4 years with the exact same class unless DD makes it into a higher level choir, I know I can skip that class with no issue.

In grade school they do the same presentation twice, so if you have 2 kids in school, you can split your time (if you have 3, then it's pick & choose time again).

I don't bother going to parent/teacher conferences for DD though. I went last year second semester because she was going to be out for 7 weeks & I just wanted to touch base with the teachers. If it weren't for that, it would be a waste of my time for her. We were alloted 5 minutes and I think it took me about 2 minutes with several of her teachers because she was doing just fine in class. By 5th grade I would have loved to skip it but in grade school they *expect* you to show up. I could tell them exactly what they were going to tell me -- great student, want 25 more, needs to work on spelling.

Edited to add: Our night is PACKED and it's not just Freshman parents. There were just as many parents in the classes this year as there have been in the past. I'm thinking probably 1/2 the parents come. Most classes have between 25 - 30 kids. Parking is a nightmare there, they warn you in the letters to come early for parking & that you can not only use the HS lot but also the lot next door that is elementary school, street parking as long as there is no sign restrictions. This is *only* for the parents too. It's not for the kids at all, so they don't come unless they are working it giving out directions for lost parents.

 

[krcit]

Ours is next week and both DH and I will be attending as always. Last year when DS was a freshman, all of the classes were crowded with parents and parking was a nightmare. But since he's in all honors classes maybe that accounts for the crowds, I'm not sure what attendance was like at the other levels.

I'm not sure what you mean by this and I don't want to assume.

I went to back to school night for my dd last night also. She is a freshman and every class had a bunch of parents. I could also see why parents would skip it in the higher grades. You get 10 minutes in each class and unless you introduce yourself, you don't even meet the teacher. There is always a few parents who monopolize the teacher so even if I wanted to say 'hi, I'm so and so's mom" I don't get a chance. My dd is a great student who has no issues at all so I don't really need to speak to teachers. However, when my ds gets to high school it will probably be a different story. He struggles with a learning disability and I would want to have face time with his teachers.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

We have gone every year. When the kids are in middle school, parenets were always there. Freshman year 80%, Sophmore 60%, Junior 40%, Senior 10%. DS is a freshman and the teachers at his school said the same..."You can always tell the freshman classes from the senior classes".

I also feel that it is wrong that the teachers are allowed to not show up. I have voiced this opinion to the principal, school board, and to the teachers themselves. They are given way more prep time than the parents and unless something bad happens, they should be there. It really is more about getting to know the syllabus of the class and seeing the teachers "style". The teacher in turn gets to see the parents of the children to make a connection.

I must admit I was very miffed this year with DD. She is taking 4 college classes and obviously the teachers are not there (they are at the university). Her schedule was filled with blanks. We spent more time walking the halls than in classes. It did confirm her request to get a part time job though... I am sure she can handle it.

 

[mamacatnv]

We went Freshman & Sophomore year - by the time DS was a Jr/Sr. we knew most of the teachers and did not go.

Once DS hit middle school it became very evident that while the school says they want parents to be involved they really don't want you anywhere near the classrooms. They want you involved on the perimeters - sports, boosters, band etc. out of their hair and not butting into the day to day goings on of the school, classrooms, teachers & faculty.
That was my experience.

 

[agnes!]

We went Freshman & Sophomore year - by the time DS was a Jr/Sr. we knew most of the teachers and did not go.

Once DS hit middle school it became very evident that while the school says they want parents to be involved they really don't want you anywhere near the classrooms. They want you involved on the perimeters - sports, boosters, band etc. out of their hair and not butting into the day to day goings on of the school, classrooms, teachers & faculty.
That was my experience.

Mine as well.

agnes!

 

[ilovemonk]

There are also parents like me who purposely don't want to be a helicopter parent and take a step back. Just because we don't always show up doesn't mean we don't support our kids and their teachers.

Maybe we just want them to be independent, especially when it comes to getting them ready to be on their own for college.