Heterosexuals who are tolerant of the same right of gays/lesbians--Question

[Planogirl]

My mother is a European and was raised to be tolerant and open-minded. She believed that what others did was fine as long as it hurt no one else. My Dad wasn't quite as open-minded but he meant well and his favorite saying was "I constantly worry about those who don't have enough of their own business to worry about and always have to worry about everyone else's". I grew up with these beliefs and I'm now passing them on to my son.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I grew up in a household that was intolerant of anyone--We lived in an inner city and had to listen to my parents bash people left and right--My dad more so than my mom--He would think nothing of spouting racial comments and they came out loud and clear-Someone here said that if they had married an African American they would've been disowned I know exactly what she was saying---In 3rd grade I got my butt beat for walking home w/an AA boy who lived 2 houses before us--My sis was kicked out for bringing an AA friend to the house and lived in foster care for quite a while.
But I think in a way this helped us because we wanted to rebel against our parents so we would surround ourselves w/the people they considered "beneath" us-By doing this we came to learn that these people were in no way different from us and deserved just as much as we did regardless of what our parents had said--My sister went on to marry a man who was Italian and Puerto Rican and had my nephew-and even then my dad would come out with some comment about S cs and my sister would tell him how he now had one actually in his family--As years went on he became more tolerant and allowed my brother to date an AA girl and allowed her into the house--I was floored the day he told me he really liked her and was glad my brother had met her

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Then in 1980 or so my boyfriend's (now my DH) brother got kicked out of Disneyland for dancing with a guy. He was really the first guy that I knew who was gay and was out of the closet (I'm sure I knew others, but they weren't open about it). He fought for the right for a man to dance with another man at DL and at first it only applied to the 2 of them, but it did eventually help all g/l enjoy the magic at the happiest place on earth.

OMG! I remember hearing about that in the news! That was your BIL! Good for him for sticking up for himself!

My mother was very open-minded, but we never discussed homosexuality. My dad was a bigot toward other races, and I imagine he would have been toward homosexuals, too, but again, we never discussed it.

I remember being taken aback when I was about 18 and saw two guys kissing at a dance club. It was a popular spot with gay men, and we used to go there a lot because they played the best music in town, so I pretty quickly got used to seeing men together. I also met some really wonderful people who were gay, so it was pretty easy to realize that they are just people.

You'd never know it from my posts on these boards, but I'm actually pretty conservative politically (with the exception of certain issues like abortion and gay rights). A friend of mine came out when she was around 30, and was scared to death to tell me, because she thought I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

We don't see it as a civil rights or tolerance issue. My parents and my family and I are in agreement based on the Word of God (the Bible). We do not condone the lifestyle choice.

We believe that through God's love and grace, any sin or problem can be overcome.

 

[mtemm]

I don't think you need to be taught to be tolerant of Gays and Lesbians... I think people are taught to hate them..I don't think people are born hating Black people,gays,lesbians, Jews/Muslims,Christians etc... This is learned ,ehaivior and not natural behavior

I agree with this. We never talked about gay/lesbians (or a lot of things) in my house growing up. I remember as a kid going to san francisco when I was around 12 or so (so late 70s/early 80s) and being surprised to see two men kissing/snuggling but not really thinking anything about it, just being slightly surprised because I hadn't seen it before.

I actually think the funniest thing now that I look back on it was a conversation I had with a kid in my neigborhood. This is not about gay rights, but rather women's rights, I guess. I can't even remember the conversation exactly, I just remember him looking at me and sneering, what I assumed even at that time his father must have said often, "what are you, a women's libber?" I had no idea what he was talking about (I was probably 10 or 11 here) but when he explained that it meant women were men's equals I looked at him like he was crazy and said "of course! why wouldn't I be?" I actually wonder about that kid and if he ever opened his eyes. I will never forget the tone of his voice, so belittling and it sounded so ridiculous to me.

 

[Laura]

We believe that through God's love and grace, any sin or problem can be overcome.

I'll pray for you.

 

[Imzadi]

First of all, I don't care for the use of "tolerant" in your question. (Not a flame ) Being a racial minority myself, having growing up in a predominantly all white community, I hope people didn't "tolerate" me, but ACCEPT me. Now, I live in NYC, the great melting pot, & I LOVE it here.

I had a bigoted, red neck father, and super conservative Catholic sister. Instead of just accepting their viewpoints like a dry sponge, I had the intelligence to question how I saw them behave & what they said. I knew better then to agree with their close minded viewpoints. Maybe it was because of all the prejudice I experienced, myself, growing up.

People are souls at core. But people hated me & went after & attacked me, even though they didn't know anything about me or who I really am. They just formed ideas because of what they SAW. So I learned compassion, understanding & acceptance of others, regardless if the outer stuff.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

I'll pray for you.

Thank you.

 

[Laura]

I agree with this. We never talked about gay/lesbians (or a lot of things) in my house growing up. I remember as a kid going to san francisco when I was around 12 or so (so late 70s/early 80s) and being surprised to see two men kissing/snuggling but not really thinking anything about it, just being slightly surprised because I hadn't seen it before.

I actually think the funniest thing now that I look back on it was a conversation I had with a kid in my neigborhood. This is not about gay rights, but rather women's rights, I guess. I can't even remember the conversation exactly, I just remember him looking at me and sneering, what I assumed even at that time his father must have said often, "what are you, a women's libber?" I had no idea what he was talking about (I was probably 10 or 11 here) but when he explained that it meant women were men's equals I looked at him like he was crazy and said "of course! why wouldn't I be?" I actually wonder about that kid and if he ever opened his eyes. I will never forget the tone of his voice, so belittling and it sounded so ridiculous to me.

Yeah, people are only bigoted because they're told they must be. It's kind of sad, really.

 

[Disney_1derland]

I was raised in an indifferent household. They didn't approve or disapprove, they just didn't outright 'feel' anyway about race, religion or sexual orientation. I guess it allowed me to make up my own mind. I am completely 'tolerant' on all fronts. I don't see anyone as being any different from myself. I guess I don't even see it as 'tolerance', but there really isn't a way to describe it either It's all the same soup to me

 

[beckmrk04]

We don't see it as a civil rights or tolerance issue. My parents and my family and I are in agreement based on the Word of God (the Bible). We do not condone the lifestyle choice.

We believe that through God's love and grace, any sin or problem can be overcome.

I think it's offensive to the Lord that you would suggest that His creation is flawed. It is neither a "lifestyle" nor a "choice" as you put it, as heterosexuality is not a choice, but an inherent knowledge of your sexual preferences. I could not "choose" to be gay. I simply do not find the opposite sex physically attractive enough to maintain a lasting relationship. Gays and lesbians do not "choose" a path that leads them through judgement and ridicule and denial of basic civil rights. They live that path because that is who they are, and you cannot deny who you are, that would be the ultimate insult to God, because He created us.

Who are you to say that this is not His plan? God did not write the Bible, man did, and man is fallible.

And, besides, doesn't it also say "Judge not lest ye be judged"? Why is it that everyone here on Earth feels the need to do the judging and save people?

 

[Planogirl]

We don't see it as a civil rights or tolerance issue. My parents and my family and I are in agreement based on the Word of God (the Bible). We do not condone the lifestyle choice.

We believe that through God's love and grace, any sin or problem can be overcome.

This comment interests me. I don't feel that it's my place to approve or disapprove of anyone's lifestyle. It's really not my business as far as I can tell so judging other people is foreign to me.

But then following that belief, I don't judge your attitude either. I don't understand it but I won't judge it.

 

[Mkaz]

My mom didn't discuss the topic while I was growing up. However, the values that she instilled in me are priceless. For us it wasn't about tolerance. Tolerance seemed to imply that you just put up with someone. We were taught to embrace everyone, and that it wasn't up to us to judge anyone. She taught us that it's what's in the heart that matters the most.

 

[DisneyStar006]

I was raised in an indifferent household. They didn't approve or disapprove, they just didn't outright 'feel' anyway about race, religion or sexual orientation. I guess it allowed me to make up my own mind. I am completely 'tolerant' on all fronts. I don't see anyone as being any different from myself. I guess I don't even see it as 'tolerance', but there really isn't a way to describe it either It's all the same soup to me

ITA Same here.

 

[beckmrk04]

To the Op's question- I grew up in a very tolerant household. My mom got pregnant with me when she was 19, and decided not to marry my father- that rocked a few boats. But, we're better off. They didn't love each other, and my mom gave me enough love for two parents. He wanted her to have an abortion. She said no. So, she was young and single, and I didn't know my father.

So, my mom taught me to respect families and people of all walks of life. Love is LOVE. Not to mention that what goes on in people's bedrooms is nobody's business, and it really bothers me that people are SOOO interested in it... And that is better than hate, any day! I know many wonderful gays and lesbians, and I will work for them to have equal rights every single day that I am alive and able.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

I think it's offensive to the Lord that you would suggest that His creation is flawed. It is neither a "lifestyle" nor a "choice" as you put it, as heterosexuality is not a choice, but an inherent knowledge of your sexual preferences. I could not "choose" to be gay. I simply do not find the opposite sex physically attractive enough to maintain a lasting relationship. Gays and lesbians do not "choose" a path that leads them through judgement and ridicule and denial of basic civil rights. They live that path because that is who they are, and you cannot deny who you are, that would be the ultimate insult to God, because He created us.

Who are you to say that this is not His plan? God did not write the Bible, man did, and man is fallible.

God wrote the Bible via men led by the Holy Spirit. It's His Word. He loves us all and gave us rules for our benefit. We have the free will to choose, but his Word helps us to choose wisely.

 

[princess pooh]

I grew up in a very non-conservative city in a very non-conservative family. My parents never said anything negative about any other race, religion, or culture. They wanted me to be open minded and accepting and I think they made the effort to raise me that way.

I was kind of sickened when I read the intolerance spouted on the Brokeback Mountain thread

 

[Tigger&Belle]

OMG! I remember hearing about that in the news! That was your BIL! Good for him for sticking up for himself!

When Andy came out of the closet he actually came out to the oldest brother, which in hindsight is really funny because that brother doesn't accept him now (l-o-n-g story) and my DH, who he thought would have had a problem with him being gay has always been extremely accepting. Sticking up for himself is something that he's never had a problem doing. And yes, I'm the one person who gets away with tell him when he's gone too far. And probably the one person who he listens to. I'm way closer to him than I am to my own brothers.

 

[beckmrk04]

God wrote the Bible via men led by the Holy Spirit. It's His Word. He loves us all and gave us rules for our benefit. We have the free will to choose, but his Word helps us to choose wisely.

I would hope that all people would wisely choose to love thy neighbor, and judge not.

Obviously, you and I will have two VERY different opinions on this issue, and I have NO intent on getting into an argument that neither of us will win, so agree to disagree?

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

My mom didn't really say much and is pretty tolerant - my dad was a '50's kind of guy and wasn't too tolerant. He wasn't hateful or anything - it was more about seeing people as stereotypes and making derogatory jokes. If he met someone face to face he would treat them like anyone else pretty much. I just knew from an early age it was wrong - hated the jokes and stereotypes....but as I always say: there was alot I learned in spite of my parents - especially my father. I had a family member who was gay, but he was a bad example and I feel about him the same way I would about anyone who is recklessly promiscuous and into has meaningless encounters...gay or straight. Even though he was the only one I knew at the time, I knew that wasn't really what it was about. Luckily, college and a couple years in an urban area exposed me to all types of people and confirmed my feelings that intolerance is wrong.