Here is a what would you do question. FINAL UPDATE page 2

[jevs]

If it means a lot to your son for his friend to come along I think I'd just pay for the flight.

 

[smiths02]

Your original offer was transportation, accommodation, and food. I think you need to stick with your original offer, even if that now means paying his airfare.

ETA: If paying for the airfare was out of the question financially for me, I'd figure out a way to drive it or I would cut back other parts of the trip or see if my son could help make some money somehow (cutting lawns or something)

 

[mi*vida*loca]

$234 would be worth it for me to not have to drive. I would pay it. We have driven from NJ to FL and no way would I do it by myself or with my DS being the additional driver. I would be a ball of nerves and it would be an awful ride.

 

[ronandannette]

I get that, but we were in the discussions about it. They had not agreed one way or the other. I will probably offer to fly him if it means him not going.

This. ^^ If for some reason you can't afford to, then everybody needs to live with the disappointment of him not going and certainly understand it's not his, or his family's fault in any way. The ticket actually seems relatively inexpensive to me, and it would likely cost you more than that to be on the road for 2 days if you drove to avoid the airfare.

Like others have mentioned, I would never be in this actual situation. There were 2 times we took friends for DS on trips with us (once on a cruise and once to DLR). We planned from before the invitation was made to pay all the costs, including the airfares. If that hadn't worked for our budget, we wouldn't have asked anybody. We didn't see it as a "gift" to them as much as it was a favour for DS's benefit that they agreed to come.

 

[Disneylover99]

Driving is one thing. The expensives are not different whether the friend comes or not.

OP, if you offered to pay for the flight, do you think the parents would even accept?

 

[NHdisneylover]

So it sounds to me like the only reasons things were not "firm" were scheduleing issues (more with you than the friend but on both sides), which to me means the offer was "if schedules work then here is what we'll do" and that was the friend'S family paying for his ticket and you getting the rest.
I agree with the many posters who think it is unfair for you to change the terms and want more financial commitment from the other family this close to the date. If it were me, I'd buy the friend's ticket. or ,cancel/reschedule the trip all together since the schedule with your husband being able to go did not work out (but, if it were me, most likely the former for my son'S graduation)

 

[Nancyg56]

Like others have mentioned, I would never be in this actual situation. There were 2 times we took friends for DS on trips with us (once on a cruise and once to DLR). We planned from before the invitation was made to pay all the costs, including the airfares. If that hadn't worked for our budget, we wouldn't have asked anybody. We didn't see it as a "gift" to them as much as it was a favour for DS's benefit that they agreed to come.

Absolutely. I have never understood bringing someone "for my child" and then not paying the freight. If I could not afford it there would be no discussion.

 

[brockash]

So what would you do? So my youngest son is graduating in May from high school. He has wanted to take his best friend to Disney for a few years. So a few months ago we talked about this summer. At that time we had planned to drive and although we hadn't gotten a FIRM yes from his family they seemed to be on board with the price of the 7 day park pass. So I finally made room reservations (son said he was going regardless if friend ended up NOT going) but I want to fly now because my husband can't go with us on this trip. I have NO desire to drive 900 miles without him to help drive. YES my son can drive but there is NO WAY I would feel comfortable napping while he was driving part of the way from MD to FL. We have driven this a few times over the years and the trip back IS HORRIBLE. We drive it straight thru coming home. SO now....his friend says an added 234 for a round trip ticket is probably not in the cards. His mom says they will talk about it but she said that it is a lot of money. So.....what would you do? Would you pay for his airfare? Would you suck it up and drive to accommodate him? We always pay for the guest's food and accommodations while there. Our older son has taken a friend and we did the same for them but we flew. His parents paid for airfare and park ticket. TIA!!

I'd probably suck it up and pay for it. I def. wouldn't drive instead of fly for him though, but I'm sure you're saving more than that with your DH no longer going, so I'd just pay it for, although I would feel better about it if they did, but at the end of the day I would pay over him not going.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I'll repeat what other people have already said. Pay the airfare. You know the family was already having a hard time paying for the park ticket and now you are adding another expense for them. It really isn't fair to pressure them.

It's a huge favor to you to ask a family to pay for one of their kids to accompany your own and ask them to pay their own ticket and airfare.

 

[edk35]

$234 would be worth it for me to not have to drive. I would pay it. We have driven from NJ to FL and no way would I do it by myself or with my DS being the additional driver. I would be a ball of nerves and it would be an awful ride.

Exactly no way would I be able to close an eye and nap while he drove!

 

[SC Minnie]

I would pay the airfare for the friend since that wasn't originally part of the deal.

 

[sk!mom]

Count me as another, I wouldn't have even mentioned the need for them to buy a plane ticket now. If I'm changing plans to something more costly, I'd pay.

I agree that this is a gift to your son.

 

[ronandannette]

So what would you do? So my youngest son is graduating in May from high school. He has wanted to take his best friend to Disney for a few years. So a few months ago we talked about this summer. At that time we had planned to drive and although we hadn't gotten a FIRM yes from his family they seemed to be on board with the price of the 7 day park pass. So I finally made room reservations (son said he was going regardless if friend ended up NOT going) but I want to fly now because my husband can't go with us on this trip. I have NO desire to drive 900 miles without him to help drive. YES my son can drive but there is NO WAY I would feel comfortable napping while he was driving part of the way from MD to FL. We have driven this a few times over the years and the trip back IS HORRIBLE. We drive it straight thru coming home. SO now....his friend says an added 234 for a round trip ticket is probably not in the cards. His mom says they will talk about it but she said that it is a lot of money. So.....what would you do? Would you pay for his airfare? Would you suck it up and drive to accommodate him? We always pay for the guest's food and accommodations while there. Our older son has taken a friend and we did the same for them but we flew. His parents paid for airfare and park ticket. TIA!!

Ouick question for you OP - is the added airfare for the boy a problem for your budget or is it just the principle of the thing you're wrestling with? Re-reading your first post I glean you've already asked the boy to pay his own airfare. If that seemed right at the time what has changed your mind?

P.S. Where is the update? I'm missing it somehow.

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

I feel bad for the kid because of you, albeit justifiably, changing plans he may not get to go and i am sure he had his heart set on it. Perhaps you could split the amount for the flight with his family. And extra $115 should not be such a big burden on either of you and I totally agree about your stance on driving, safety first. You are being very generous already paying for food/accomodation but you did invite him to make your son happy and really it is a small amount in the grand scheme of things.

I

 

[edk35]

Ok just spoke with friend's mom. I offered to pay his airfare BUT she still wants to think about it a bit longer. She said she has to decide on whether she wants him to go with us for his first trip TO DISNEY or them. They have two younger kids in 6th and 3rd and she thinks it might be hard to let their oldest go without the younger two having never been. This was something I had in the back of my mind months ago when she said they needed to talk more about it. She said that's just a BIG vacation. I think she might feel guilty that other two are left out. SOOOOOO....now I wait.

 

[edk35]

Ouick question for you OP - is the added airfare for the boy a problem for your budget or is it just the principle of the thing you're wrestling with? Re-reading your first post I glean you've already asked the boy to pay his own airfare. If that seemed right at the time what has changed your mind?

P.S. Where is the update? I'm missing it somehow.

I forgot to hit the submit button. LOL IT was just tossing around the trip a few months ago. We weren't sure of dates on our end or his. They had not fully committed. They still needed to "talk about it"

 

[jrmasm]

IMO unless you were very clear from the beginning that airfare was the guest's responsibility (you only mentioned 7 day ticket in your OP), I think you need to either pay for his plane ticket or drive.

 

[mjkacmom]

Thanks for the update. I find it sad that his parents might deny him a fun trip because of siblings. All of my kids have traveled with friends, plus school trips (including WDW). If he's graduating HS, family vacation time is even harder to plan around college schedules, inerships and jobs.

 

[kimblebee]

Even though you've already said you'll pay the airfare if he goes I still want to comment.

If you are a little hesitant to pay the airfare, isn't it about the same cost that you'd be paying for gas, snacks, maintenance of vehicle before you go, hotel (if you're stopping for the night)? More than likely you'd be paying the money anyway, now you're just using it for airfare..

 

[edk35]

Thanks for the update. I find it sad that his parents might deny him a fun trip because of siblings. All of my kids have traveled with friends, plus school trips (including WDW). If he's graduating HS, family vacation time is even harder to plan around college schedules, inerships and jobs.

Her son is a jr. Yes I know all about schedules with college. We have one out of college and in. So logistically planning this is hard too.