Help with Cameraholic!!

[TinkerbellMama]

Hello. My name is Kristina, and my mother is a cameraholic.

I am not kidding. My mom takes pictures of EVERYTHING. Even if it's not important. Even if the subject does not wish to be photographed. Even if the person has not yet combed his or her hair, or is not feeling well, and probably even if the person was asleep and/or PERMANENTLY asleep!

She took 1100 digital pictures of my son in 13 days during her last visit. When she ran out of room on her card, she simply went out and bought a new one with massive amounts of memory.

She *honestly will take pictures to the exclusion of actually paying attention or enjoying the moment, and that really bothers me. I love pictures as much as the next person, and I can certainly see MANY hundreds of fantastic pictures being taken at WDW over the course of a week or two...but how can I get her to back off a little bit and realize that she is snapping us to death??? My son and I went on a carousel ride while she was here and she was having camera problems. Instead of just putting the camera away and waving and smiling at him and enjoying the moment, she had her head down frantically trying to fix the camera the entire time. She didn't see him ride at all. JMO, but I find that sad and upsetting.

Any advice?? I don't want our vacation in November to be 100% recorded but only 25% enjoyed.

 

[cleo]

Hello. My name is Cleo and my EX husband is a cameraholic. That,of course, is just one of the billions of reasons he is now titled EX.

Simply put, there is nothing you can do about it so you may as well smile and move on. Literally. Perhaps you could tell her you appreciate her desire to document your trip in pictures, but you are going to enjoy the attractions and you are not willing to wait while she poses pictures. She is welcome to indulge her hobby, but you are there to vacation and she can either keep up or meet you back at the room or at a pre-designated destination later in the day.

You could also tell her you do not wish to be photographed against your will, but it isn't likely she'll pay much attention. I suspect if you put on the worst possible face, with eyes crossed and possibly a recurring rude gesture when you do not wish to be photographed against your will, she may stop that particular aspect of her hobby and turn the lens toward less gruesome sights.

Good luck. It doesn't sound like you can make her an EX, so you may have to be a bit creative.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

<sigh>

Thanks, Cleo. I suspect you are right. It might be difficult if not impossible to get her to back off.

I don't mind her taking pictures within reason. I would even be willing to pose for ONE quick picture in front of each attraction. Just not 15 posed shots in front of each attraction, all day, with her flash in my face on rides (okay, so she would probably turn the flash off, LOL), etc.

Oh well.

 

[cleo]

Just to make matters worse, althought YOU don't enjoy her picture-taking, SHE obviously does. I wouldn't spend much time worrying about her making the most of her time since she apparently is happy with what she's doing, and probably feels like she is capturing precious moments with her grandson.

That feeling in your gut of wanting to change her is what you need to change. You have my total sympathy, which I don't give easily, but I found the only way to deal with it was to give up my desire to control it. Otherwise it eats at you and ruins your trip. That is something you DO have control over. So think of a way to turn it around so it doesn't bother you, as it clearly does not bother her to miss what's going on around her while she tinkers with her camera.

I wish you the best!

 

[cleo]

Could you compromise and agree to pose for one picture at each (or every other, or every third....) attraction? When she takes that one picture, you pack up and move on.

You can also hold your hand over your face when she takes those unwanted pictures. The shine will wear off quickly when she comes home to 500 pictures of your palm. Maybe you could even write something on it that will further discourage her annoying habit.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Just to make matters worse, althought YOU don't enjoy her picture-taking, SHE obviously does. I wouldn't spend much time worrying about her making the most of her time since she apparently is happy with what she's doing, and probably feels like she is capturing precious moments with her grandson.

That feeling in your gut of wanting to change her is what you need to change. You have my total sympathy, which I don't give easily, but I found the only way to deal with it was to give up my desire to control it. Otherwise it eats at you and ruins your trip. That is something you DO have control over. So think of a way to turn it around so it doesn't bother you, as it clearly does not bother her to miss what's going on around her while she tinkers with her camera.

I wish you the best!

You are so right!!! I can only tell her a few times that I wish she would just enjoy what's going on in the present, without taking pictures constantly, and if she does not listen I must force myself to ignore her and refuse to "pose" anymore. She will still snap pictures and/or get huffy that we refuse to pose, but my sanity will be more intact.

 

[safetymom]

As someone who always has a camera with her I can understand your mother. It may be her way of relaxing. I do put the camera down to enjoy things though.

 

[cleo]

I love to take pictures too, and I do take a lot more than I probably need to while on vacation. The problem I had with a cameraholic was, there was no respect for anyone else's time or desire NOT to be photographed, and no real enjoyment because The Camera takes over. That's the part I didn't like, and I bet that's the part that annoys TinkerbellMama, too.

 

[safetymom]

I take a lot of photos but usually they aren't of people, or they are crowd shots. I learned a long time ago when I could ask my kids to pose for pictures.

 

[civileng68]

As someone who always has a camera with her I can understand your mother. It may be her way of relaxing. I do put the camera down to enjoy things though.

I also am a cameraholic. I never go anywhere without it.

About Disney. You just have to put yourself in that person's shoes. To them they are not missing their vacation. They are preserving it in their mind. I'm that way. I just love shooting, going home, and looking at my pictures and remembering the experience. It makes it live forever with me.

I look at it the opposite way. I actually look at some people without cameras and think "how are they going to remember this trip in it's fullest 6 months from now?" "How are they going to show their friends and family things from their trip?".


So I guess you have two points of thought, both enjoying their own style.

 

[cleo]

While I love looking at pictures after our vacation, I love the vacation itself even more. Those of us who don't take pictures of every moment hold the 'pictures' in our heads rather than in our hands.

From my perspective, if I have a camera strapped to my face for a week I'm not really being fully present to the moment. I'm too busy framing a shot to see what's outside that frame and for me, that excludes a huge portion of the 'magic'. However, I am equally certain there are people who get every bit as much from their vacation by seeing it through a little box.

The problem occurs when one person tries to force everyone else into their little box and disrupts everyone else's full field of vision because their attention is diverted by someone else's hobby. It feels controling, disrespectful and manipulative after a while. I wouldn't force that one someone else and I don't like it forced upon me. If you can take your pictures without requiring me to participate, great! If not, I'm going to have to leave you behind.

 

[civileng68]

The problem occurs when one person tries to force everyone else into their little box and disrupts everyone else's full field of vision because their attention is diverted by someone else's hobby. It feels controling, disrespectful and manipulative after a while. I wouldn't force that one someone else and I don't like it forced upon me. If you can take your pictures without requiring me to participate, great! If not, I'm going to have to leave you behind.

You are right there. When I take pictures, only few have people in them as they dont want to be in them in the first place.

I take pictures of THINGS in the park. I am not big into photographing people.