help w/ bullying??(long)

[~queenie~]

Looking for some help..


My Ds(10) started a new school this year and he has had a few problems with 3 kids in his class..

1st time they told my Ds he had a spider on his head. Of course he flipped(Hates spiders) ... so they continued to tease him for a few days. We told him to stop responding and it would go away. After a few days this did stop, We thought it was over..

Last week I got Ds a new shirt and he liked it until this kids teased him about it calling it and him stupid

Well, today he was leaving for a 2 night field trip with his class, as a Mom I am nervous about these kids so I speak to his teacher this morning and she tells me she got a call from another Mom about this kids bulling my ds..The Mom said it was like they were trying to intimidating my Ds.. My son never told me about this other incident

Now I am upset about the whole thing..but I am really mad at his teacher for not calling me when she heard for the other Mom..

Am I over reacting to the whole thing??

Thanks for any help

 

[denisenh]

I don't think that you are over reacting. Most school districts have very strict polices on bulling.

No child should have to be stressed about this type of situation when they are supposed to be learning.
It's the law that kids go to school.
Some kids are not able to cope well with bullies, some are.
Obviously we parents can't be there to guide/care for our kids every minute while they try to deal with this nonsense on their own.
There should be an adult around that can.
I expect that the adult would be the teacher.
If you don't stand up for your child, who will? You do what you think is right., and don't be intimidated about it. I hope your son understands that these kids likely have a rotten home life and/or no self confidence.Thats my opinion.

 

[*Fantasia*]

No you're not over reacting.. I don't have any advice to you. But I feel sad for your son.. He shouldn't have to go through that.. nor you.

 

[hentob]

You are NOT over reacting.

The teacher was VERY wrong. She should have spoken to you immediately after being informed that your son was being bullied.

 

[~queenie~]

thanks guys.. I will meet with the teacher when they get back on friday

 

[momrek06]

thanks guys.. I will meet with the teacher when they get back on friday

Yes, good idea. Good idea to get to the bottom of this whole situation. It is a sad, cruel world sometimes and I just HATE reading these Threads from all you wonderful Moms about subjects such as this..bullying. This is not the first time I have read this on the DIS and won't be the last time.

Update us, Mom and let us know how DS is doing. Sorry, I do not have more advice.

 

[~queenie~]

I was very nervous about him going ut he showed no fear and was so excited I couldn't take that away from him!!

He teacer told me she would have no problem calling the other childrens parents to come get them if they bothered ds or any other kids on the trip!! that made me feel a little better!

 

[freckles and boo]

This may or may not blow over and the teacher can only stop what she sees or hears about. I would ask whether your school or district has a written policy with regard to harrassment or bullying. I would also ask if they have instituted any kind of behavior programs to teach kids what is expected of them. If they don't, as a parent you should advocate for both. Actually, all parents should do this. While schools can't control how kids behave outside of school, they certainly can establish their expectations and standards.

Here is a link that describes PBIS - a system that really works in my kids' school.

http://nhcebis.seresc.net/whatispbis.php

My daughters school is in its fourth or fifth year of this program and it is amazing. The kids are generally respectful, well-mannered, and very clearly know what is expected of them. According to the principal, discipline issues are now 20% of what they were before they started the program.

Good luck and take care of your son! I hope the trip goes well.

 

[~queenie~]

thanks for the link..

His school has a peace builder program.. I need to call tomorrow and get more info!

 

[kilee]

I have been in your shoe's. Right up through the start of this school year. My son is a bit older than your's. However, he's had problems the last few years w/ the same group of bully's. I would definetly try to make the school work w/ you (in some cases this can be easier said than done).

There are some repercussions sometimes from parent involvement, I will say. However, there is no way we can just sit here and not do anything while our child's lives are being made miserable. I know my son (13, in the 7th grade) still gets told "his mommy" is here to get him or "his mommy" this or that. He just got it today. He has really grown into this huge confidence this year and he doesn't care-- he says "yep, my mommy......". For him it was sports. He's excelling at them, and it's given him the confidence to finally stand up to this group, and it has done wonders. They still get on his case every now and then, but he quickly squashes it.

The more they know they are getting under your son's skin, the more they feed off it. I feel for you, and I hope it can all straighten out quickly.