Help! Prom etiquette

[DevilDuckie]

Well, some of the standard rules are tossed out off the cuff because *she* asked him rather than the other way around. It is simply not reasonable nor courteous for her to ask him to take her and to pay for it all to boot.

He should call her and explain the driving issue. That is not his fault and you can all come up with a plan from there.

It would be a lovely gesture for him to buy her flowers. He should call her to "confirm that she has tickets already" and ask if dinner is included or if not, ask what sort of food she likes. This should hint to her that tickets are her responsibility if she didn't already know that. Dinner should be within his means. Nobody ought to go broke because they think the "owe" someone lobster. She may state an intention to buy him dinner which he should accept graciously.

Tuxes- we did very well with Men's Wearhouse for my wedding. Not terribly expensive and excellent, professional service.

 

[merryweather's twin]

We had to get a tux last minute a few years ago and we went to JC Pennys! They have them with the suits! I think it was $130.on sale and we owned it . I hope this helps.

 

[hugabearjo]

Thank you for all the responses. I was able to find a tux so after school and meetings, we scrambled and he was fitted it should be here tomorrow or Friday at the latest. Yeah!!!! Still haven't done much else, we also looked at flowers but, we don't know the exact color of her dress, just that it is "blue" got the paperwork done for him to go to the other school, it was faxed to his school today so that helps. The other mom still isn't home so I am still waiting to ask what the expectations of dinner and tickets are. My DS and I decided that he would drive to her house and that is it, either I would drive them or the other parents or the young lady who invited him, I believe even though they are only a few months apart she has had her license much longer and can drive without the limitations (dear son had to deal with me a single mom who is a scaredy cat to get his license so was very patient with me and got it when he was 17 rather than 16).

Again- thank you for all the great responses, if you think of anything else please please keep it coming

Jo

 

[design_mom]

we also looked at flowers but, we don't know the exact color of her dress, just that it is "blue"

Glad you found the tux. If he needs to order flowers before he can clarify the color of the dress, maybe you could go with yellow, pink or white flowers. They should look okay with just about any color of blue dress. I don't think the flowers and the dress have to match.

 

[MousekaMaddi]

have him get her a wrist corsage, much easier to wear.

 

[hugabearjo]

Thank you so much for all the information. I was able to pull it all together and I am so releaved. DS17 looks so nice in his tux. I can't believe how fast they grow up. She did indeed purchase the tickets. They decided together since neither of them like fancy dinners that they are going to go to dinner casually and then go back to her house and change for the dance.

God is good, he worked out the driving too. The dance is on the same end of town that she lives on, so no one way streets. She just turned 18 so no worry about him transporting a minor, and lastly as to the after midnight rule, I called DMV and they said it is a school activity so it is fine. It doesn't matter that it isn't his school, it is still a high school activity that he was invited to go. We went and drove the route yesterday so he feels comfortable with it. He is very nervous but, I think he will have fun.

Thanks again Dis-friends for all the help, when I was in a panic. And for giving me ideas to ask.

Have a great day
Jo

 

[emh1129]

How did it go? Your son sounds like such a sweet young man (good job!)

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

**bumping** because i came back curious to see how it went too! Hope he had a great time.

 

[D L and K's Mom]

How did it go???!!????!!

 

[Rylee]

I just read through this thread, and I guess I didn't realize how much prom traditions vary in different schools and locations.

My daughter's Junior Prom is on May 9... she's on Prom Court.

We have been attending monthly After Prom Party meetings since September. At these meetings, they did discuss prom etiquette...

If your son/daughter is the junior, and he/she invites someone from a different grade level or school, you and your junior are responsible for just about everything... tickets, picture package, & 2 shares of the limo cost, etc.

If your son/daughter is the junior and going with another junior from his/her class... the cost for tickets, pictures and the limo ride are split evenly.

Dinner is served at the Prom.

Our school has a wonderful after-prom party. It is with the hope, that if we provide a safe place to "party," the kids won't throw their own parties involving alcohol, or worst... drink and drive. They rent out the YMCA for the night. (All night party.) The kids have raised money all year, and there will be food, music, gym and swim activites and lots of prizes... ipods, TV's, DVD players, a computer, etc.

The school will provide a bus at the end of the prom, to take the kids to the after-prom party, or they can arrive in their limos. If a parent is bringing them to the party, the parent MUST walk in with their child. NO student is allowed to drive to the after-prom party. This is so the students won't have an opportunity to "drink." Once a student is signed-in, they aren't allowed to leave the party unless a parent comes for them. All students must be picked up by 8AM.


OP - Hope your son has a wonderful time.

 

[rcrk10]

My son's HS prom is in a couple of weeks - normal activities are....

Meet at local park for Pictures

Go to school for 'official pictures'

Have a parade of all the couples. They have it in the school gym and announce the couples one by one as they come out.

Go to school parking lot and get in your limo.

Take Limo to downtown Pittsburgh (approx 30 miles away) (Sheraton hotel) for Dinner and Dancing.

at 11:30 pm they get on a river boat (paddle wheeler) for 'after prom', which usually last till 3am.

Limo's then take them back to the school.

Once they check in at the Prom for Dinner, the chaperones make sure and verifies that they all get on the boat.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I
Our school has a wonderful after-prom party. It is with the hope, that if we provide a safe place to "party," the kids won't throw their own parties involving alcohol, or worst... drink and drive. They rent out the YMCA for the night. (All night party.) The kids have raised money all year, and there will be food, music, gym and swim activites and lots of prizes... ipods, TV's, DVD players, a computer, etc.

The small county I went to high school in started something similar for sober grad night when they were losing 1 kid a year to drunk driving that weekend. (Out of less than 1000 high schoolers total. Pretty Grim.) The carnival that comes through the week before is held over and there are free rides, bingo, casino games and an auction with the fake money at the end for electronics, cash, etc.

 

[D L and K's Mom]

My DD is a Jr and there is nothing "offical" going on for the kids before or after the ball. Dinner is even something they do on their own. Coming from a family that has lost someone to a drunk driver I would love to see the school do some sort of a safe, fun activity for the children. We are doing something here for the kids after but nothing is planned for everyone. Anyone on the Ball or Prom planning committee? I would love the particulars ...how you plan it, do you get sponsors etc.......I would love to bring this idea to the school for the Jr Prom. I have to admit I am unsure about the Senior Ball but I am pretty sure they do not have a planned activity either. Thank you.

 

[hugabearjo]

All is well, thank goodness. It sounds like he had a good time, and was glad he went. They ended up doing a more "fancy" dinner because her friend and her date went with them. But, he thought it was fun. I am so glad this is a child who is very shy and I am so proud of him that he stretched out of his comfort zone to go and then was glad. I got some good pictures on the camera I sent with him so that was very cool.

We were very busy with a special seminar at church today and just got home, he wasn't thrilled to be woke up this morning but, quickly got in a good mood (sure sign to me that all went well last night).

He is exhausted, I think the worry right up too the event.

His tux looked wonderful, I was really disappointed with the coursage (it had 3 flowers in a sea of ribbon and 2 of the mini roses were wilted), so I went to Safeway and found one cheaper and the perfect colors. It was very pretty.

I am so thankful for the support and words of wisdom and encouragement that my friends here give so freely.

Thanks Disboards for creating a circle of friends.

Jo

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

My son's HS prom is in a couple of weeks - normal activities are....

Meet at local park for Pictures

Go to school for 'official pictures'

Have a parade of all the couples. They have it in the school gym and announce the couples one by one as they come out.

Go to school parking lot and get in your limo.

Take Limo to downtown Pittsburgh (approx 30 miles away) (Sheraton hotel) for Dinner and Dancing.

at 11:30 pm they get on a river boat (paddle wheeler) for 'after prom', which usually last till 3am.

Limo's then take them back to the school.

Once they check in at the Prom for Dinner, the chaperones make sure and verifies that they all get on the boat.

You must be in Weirton??? I went to college in steubenville- ha!!

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

Very pleased to hear it went well

 

[Rylee]

My DD is a Jr and there is nothing "offical" going on for the kids before or after the ball. Dinner is even something they do on their own. Coming from a family that has lost someone to a drunk driver I would love to see the school do some sort of a safe, fun activity for the children. We are doing something here for the kids after but nothing is planned for everyone. Anyone on the Ball or Prom planning committee? I would love the particulars ...how you plan it, do you get sponsors etc.......I would love to bring this idea to the school for the Jr Prom. I have to admit I am unsure about the Senior Ball but I am pretty sure they do not have a planned activity either. Thank you.

After Prom Party

The After Prom committee is all vounteer... parents and students.
All money is raised by the students.
They raise far more than what is needed for the After Prom Party... they also earn money to off-set the cost of their personal prom expenses.
This money in not used for the actual prom... the class has been raising money to cover that expense separately.

Students and parents earn points. A point is given for each meeting you attend, every event that they help with, and each sale the student makes.

Students earning the following point levels are guaranteed the following - (Prizes awarded in the form of cash.)

• 10 points receive free flowers.
• 14 points receive free flowers and $$ towards pictures
• 16 points receive free flowers, $$ towards pictures, and free Prom tickets

.

In addition...

• Students earning 14 points will also have their name entered in a drawing to will $100 toward their dress or tux. (1 boy and 1 girl name will be drawn.)
  
• Students earning 16 points will be eligible for a chance to win the laptop and printer.

Parent points do NOT help students reach point levels. Students will be given 1 ticket for each parent point earned, to be drawn for chances to win extra cash for hair, nails tanning and limo expenses.

At the After Prom Party - For every point earned, students will have 1 ticket entered into the drawings for TV's, DVD players, ipods, etc. The prizes were purchased by the committee, (using money already raised) on the day after Thanksgiving. (A group of parents that set out bright and early for all the early specials... crazy but fun.)

Events and sales to raise money -

• Donkey Basketball
• Middle School Activity Nights
• Bake Sales
• "Bagging" at Bass Pro, the day after Thanksgiving (Bass Pro paid our student volunteers... money went directly the the party fund.)
• Winterfest
• Entertainment Book Sale
• School Clothing sales
• Poinsetta Sale
• Easter Flower Sale
• Pizza Hut and Applebee's nights... % given to fund.

At the After Prom Party the prizes are spread out on a table. They do the drawings all through the night. When your named is pulled, you may choose whatever you want from the table, although you can't choose the same type of gift twice, like taking 2 ipods.

Both my older daughters came home with DVD players, a TV, walkman, CD player... one daughter even won a tent???... towards the end of the party when most of the gifts had been chosen.

The party will have a DJ. They are allowed to swim or use the gyms. There is also a quiet room, for kids who may want to snooze.

The kids planned the menu at the last meeting... pizza, wings, salads, subs, donuts and fresh fruit.

Overnight bags must be dropped off at the school the day before with the understanding... they will be searched.

Our After Prom program is excellent and has been used as an example by neighboring schools.



*The class already voted for Prom Court... 8 girls (my daughter is one of them) and 8 boys. I'm surprised at myself, but... I find myself really hoping my daughter will be crowned Queen... she really is a sweetie, just a very nice kid.

 

[tmatthews]

After Prom Party

The After Prom committee is all vounteer... parents and students.
All money is raised by the students.
They raise far more than what is needed for the After Prom Party... they also earn money to off-set the cost of their personal prom expenses.
This money in not used for the actual prom... the class has been raising money to cover that expense separately.

Students and parents earn points. A point is given for each meeting you attend, every event that they help with, and each sale the student makes.

Students earning the following point levels are guaranteed the following - (Prizes awarded in the form of cash.)

• 10 points receive free flowers.
• 14 points receive free flowers and $$ towards pictures
• 16 points receive free flowers, $$ towards pictures, and free Prom tickets

.

In addition...

• Students earning 14 points will also have their name entered in a drawing to will $100 toward their dress or tux. (1 boy and 1 girl name will be drawn.)
  
• Students earning 16 points will be eligible for a chance to win the laptop and printer.

Parent points do NOT help students reach point levels. Students will be given 1 ticket for each parent point earned, to be drawn for chances to win extra cash for hair, nails tanning and limo expenses.

At the After Prom Party - For every point earned, students will have 1 ticket entered into the drawings for TV's, DVD players, ipods, etc. The prizes were purchased by the committee, (using money already raised) on the day after Thanksgiving. (A group of parents that set out bright and early for all the early specials... crazy but fun.)

Events and sales to raise money -

• Donkey Basketball
• Middle School Activity Nights
• Bake Sales
• "Bagging" at Bass Pro, the day after Thanksgiving (Bass Pro paid our student volunteers... money went directly the the party fund.)
• Winterfest
• Entertainment Book Sale
• School Clothing sales
• Poinsetta Sale
• Easter Flower Sale
• Pizza Hut and Applebee's nights... % given to fund.

At the After Prom Party the prizes are spread out on a table. They do the drawings all through the night. When your named is pulled, you may choose whatever you want from the table, although you can't choose the same type of gift twice, like taking 2 ipods.

Both my older daughters came home with DVD players, a TV, walkman, CD player... one daughter even won a tent???... towards the end of the party when most of the gifts had been chosen.

The party will have a DJ. They are allowed to swim or use the gyms. There is also a quiet room, for kids who may want to snooze.

The kids planned the menu at the last meeting... pizza, wings, salads, subs, donuts and fresh fruit.

Overnight bags must be dropped off at the school the day before with the understanding... they will be searched.

Our After Prom program is excellent and has been used as an example by neighboring schools.



*The class already voted for Prom Court... 8 girls (my daughter is one of them) and 8 boys. I'm surprised at myself, but... I find myself really hoping my daughter will be crowned Queen... she really is a sweetie, just a very nice kid.

DDs school has similar after proms as do many other local schools in the area. Parents provide food and music and MANY MANY gifts! $1000 for 1 jr and $1000 for 1 sr in cash is given away at the end of the night to keep the kids there as well as other great gifts like ipods and tvs. They have a hypnotist and massages....all is all a great night...kids get out of prom gear and wear sweats and such...then off to someone's poor house to sleep the day away!!!!

 

[D L and K's Mom]

It sounds fantastic!!!!! Good luck to your Daughter. My daughter is a tomboy!! I am thrilled we are able to get her into a dress for the Prom. It is very classic looking....black and white. Simple but really nice. Her boyfriend is no help at all he tells her, "you look beautiful in anything". I could kill him!! I keep telling him to tell her he would like to see her hair down and maybe a little makeup....nope. Oh well, there is always DD who is 4 to work on. I dont think I have any hope she already vetos the socks with the lace!!!!!!! We will all have to come back here later and post Prom photos!!