Help! Need good answer for Contest I'm entering...

[2angelsinheaven]

We are in desperate need of a car (have been borrowing my mother's) and have no means to get one... since I'm not working, taking care of the girls right now, etc... So our local Baseball team is putting on a Car Survivor contest... 5 people in a car, breaks every 6 hours for 15 mins, whoever stays in the longest wins the car!
Well I need a reply to this question...
I deserve to be in the Car Survivor because....

I was thinking of letting them know about my situation, as some of you may know. Quit my job to help raise my friend's children when she walked out of their lifes... and how because of this, when my van broke down I had no money to fix it, so have been without a car, had to borrow one to take them to Dr's, etc...

OR, should I make it funny, or the lady I nannied for said I should let them know about my volunteer work, taking care of her handicapped children, etc...

Help, the deadline is this afternoon and I really want this... any good ideas?

 

[Microcell]

I vote for the quiting story.

 

[elgerber]

I would go with the truth, sounds very deserving of needing a new car to me!

Erika

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I'd go with the truth.

 

[Gaspode]

Hiya

I'd go with the truth - you definitely deserve in! I hope you do get the chance to win, good luck to you and let us know!

Cya,
Gaspode

 

[mickeyfan1]

I vote for the truth, too.

Good luck!

 

[amid chaos]

I would go with the truth but add some humor too...it's not a funny situation but laughing at ourselves and our situation certainly helps get thru it.

 

[2angelsinheaven]

Here is what I have so far, have not edited it yet, just a rough draft... didn't want to delve into too many details (like mom walking out on them, etc) what do you think?

About a year ago I quit my job in order to take care of my friend's two children when she went into pre-term labor and had a newborn in the NICU, this was going to be temporary. However their parents then went on to divorce and I wanted the girls to have stability in their life so I countinued to take care of them. Thus putting us in a tough position. Our van had broken down right before I quit and because I was unable to hold a job and take care of the children we have been unable to purchase a car or have our van fixed. My fiance has put in overtime shifts to try and make up for my not working, but his job will soon suffer because we can no longer borrow a relatives car for him to get to work and he works 25 miles from home. Also the girls both have appointments where I need to take them to (Dr, Eyes, School, speech therapy), but have trouble doing so because of the car situation. I believe WE deserve a car because these girls deserve the very best. And maybe a sunday drive once in awhile too... . Thanks for your consideration.

 

[jan/cape]

Another vote for the truth. Then when you win the car is will feel even sweeter.
When do you get to take the car home? Let us know when the contest is and what kind of a car you win.

 

[2angelsinheaven]

What do you think? Anything I could add, take away? Someone mentioned some humor, but I'm no good at that, how could I add it in?

I know if given the chance I could sit in that car till I won!!

 

[2angelsinheaven]

The contest is starting Monday night at the ball stadium... Here is the ad I replied to...

On Monday, July 12th, five fans will enter a car at Space Coast Stadium. What they bring in, stays in. Rest breaks are scheduled every six hours for 15 minutes. Water will be provided by the Manatees, food is up to you and your network of friends and family. The last person to remain seated in the car will drive it home. Windows down, no radio, no air conditioning, under a canopy...how long will you last?

So you wanna play, huh?

You must be at least 18 years of age and a licensed driver to complete an application. Out of the applications received five will be selected to participate. If you have time on your hands this summer and need a car, then the worm has definitely turned for you!

To receive an application, send

 

[Rajah]

I think it sounds good, and good luck!!

 

[Az Pirates]

Originally posted by 2angelsinheaven
What do you think? Anything I could add, take away? Someone mentioned some humor, but I'm no good at that, how could I add it in?

I know if given the chance I could sit in that car till I won!!

Put that in!
I'm sure they want people who are determined to win - wouldn't be much fun if everyone quit after just a short time - no drama in that!

 

[princess lovers mom]

sounds good so far...the statement "i was unable to hold a job" stands out a little to me.....perhaps changing it to something like you are not working now due to your obligations to these 2 children....also can you squeeze in something about how the vehicle would help you continue your charity work

 

[2angelsinheaven]

One more idea I had... a little bit of humor in it....

I deserve to be a contestant in Car Survivor because:
The reason I believe that I deserve to be a contestant in Car Survivor is because I need a car, well what did you expect me to say. Of course I guess your wondering why it is that I need a car, is it because I like to travel, maybe I need a flashy ride to drive around town in, maybe it's because I could be too lazy to buy one on my own or maybe it's because I'm adventures and why not try for the car. Well, I guess it could be for all those reason, but it's not, it's plain and simple, I need this car because I don't have one. Now that we've got that established, I tell you why I don't have one and it's up to you to be the judge on whether or not I "deserve" to be a contestant. But more so I think it's up to you to pick if you'd like me to win, because there will be no backing out for me, I'll sit and I'll sit and I'll huff and I'll puff, till I win that car. Now onto the reason why I deserve to win this car. I once had a job, one I liked quite a lot, every morning when I got there I thought I love this job, but then something happened, something more important that money and working came into my life, I know, what could be more important than that? How about two little girls who needed someone to care for them and love them in a tough time in their little life's. I could have taken the easy route and said I was too busy, I could have but I didn't. Nope I took the task on full steam ahead. I resigned from my job, yup the one I loved to be with these girls everyday for the past year. Of course not working can cause some consequences, but that came second because I wanted the best for these girls and that meant being there for them. Well, soon we were without a car, my fiance took on overtime to help with the bills, but one can only do so much. So here we sit, yes sit, cant' drive anywhere without a car, ever tried to walk 25 miles to a Doctor's appointment or try to catch a bus to the Speech Therapy appointment, right. My pride has been swallowed over and over again. Without a car soon I will have to find a job and I don't know what will happen with the girls. So that is not an option in my mind. So I sit and beg you, please please please, consider us for the Car Survivor. I'm willing to sit in the heat and suffer for this car so these girls don't have to anymore. I believe WE deserve a car because these girls deserve the very best. And maybe a Sunday drive once in awhile too. If given the chance to sit in this car, you bet I'll be doing it like I do everything else, with determination and with the girls in my mind, cheering me on.

 

[TEENEE]

I like the first draft with "I know if given the chance I could sit in that car till I won!!" added to the end. It's straight and to the point. If I read it I would give you the chance to win the car. The second draft is too wordy for me.

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

But the girl's mother is no longer in their lives and you've become a "surogate" mother, correct? I really don't get that out of the first draft - I kept asking, gee - why can't the girls' mother help out in some way. I'd add something along the lines of being the sole care taker of the girls...if I got that part correct.

BEST WISHES!!!! And God bless you! You sound like a wonderfully caring individual!

 

[piglet too]

Not much to add to your request for help with that question. I just want to wish you the best of luck!!

I entered my husband in a similar conest this past winter. At the Chicago Auto Show, they had Stand By Your Van contest. They got breaks every three hours for 10-15 minutes. Otherwise they had to stand with at least one hand on the van at all times. He did great, lasting close to 58 hours!!!! No, he did not win, but he was #4 and for that I am so proud of him!!!! (BTW the winner only lasted another 7 hours or so)

What type of car would you win? Do you have a network of friends who can support you, like with the food? I have to say that having someone there to cheer you on, especially at the breaks is very important!!! If you do get selected, and I am confident you will, let me know if you need any advice on how to keep yourself going!! My husband will be more than glad to offer any help he can provide with the "been there done that" type thing.

 

[2angelsinheaven]

Thanks everyone for all the help, Fiance said go with #2, but a slightly shorter version. Now I just cross my fingers and hope hope hope! Piglet 2, wow that is so cool, 58 hours is a LONG time... could he sleep or no? I think we can sleep in this one. I hope I get picked I will sit and sit! I bet the tension is thick between the last two people. Like "come on, quit already"...lol!

 

[minmate]

When I first came across the ad for the Car Survivor Contest, I felt as if God had put this in front of me. It feels like such Destiny for me to win this car that I have spent the past 48 hours in turmoil trying to find just the right words to put down on this page so that you’ll select me and give me this chance to win a new car.

About a year ago, my life took a complete 180. I was working at a job I loved, married to a man I love and life was just great. I found myself supporting a close friend through a crisis with pre-term labor and a loss of the baby. I was caring for her two other daughters during this time. Sadly, my friend turned away completely from the responsibility for caring for her two living children. After she left, my husband and I chose to love and care for these girls as if they were our own. Our entire life focus shifted to caring for them and giving them a life of stability and love…. a family that they can trust and depend on. Unfortunately, we don’t even have a car that we can trust and depend upon now.

I have since given up the job I love so that I can be here for the girls. My car broke down and due to a reduced budget; we have been unable to fix the car. My husband has taken on extra work in addition to his already demanding job, all to support our newfound family. We have been lucky enough to borrow a car from a relative so that he can get to and from work 25 miles away. However, that arrangement is soon coming to an end too.

I have also been a volunteer, working with children with special needs. It breaks me heart to think I’m letting them down when I can’t be there for them because of a lack of transportation.

I truly want to be able to provide these girls with a happy, normal childhood. I love them with all my heart. I am doing everything I can to be a good role model for them. I would love to be able to have dependable transportation to take them to school, doctor appointments, do grocery shopping and yes, even take them to and from their friends houses and maybe even the beach once in awhile.

We have scrimped, saved, borrowed, begged and prayed to get through the tough times. Now, I am asking you to please, please consider giving me the opportunity to “sit” and win that car – to make our lives so much easier! If given the chance, through sheer need, determination and commitment not to let down my family, I will sit and sit and sit until I win that car!

Thank you for your consideration.


MAYBE YOU'LL FIND SOME VERBAGE IN HERE THAT YOU LIKE OR WILL INSPIRE YOU. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE ANY/ALL OF IT... I WROTE IT TO HELP YOU OUT -- HOPE IT DOES... AND HOPE YOU GET YOUR CHANCE!