Help my Dh died.(Updated again post #218)

[disdmyfam4]

Many thoughts and prayers go your way. How difficult this must be for you all. The trip may just be what you all need to do together although it will come so soon. Maybe it would be a good start to your healing process. A little Disney Magic may just be what your DH would have wanted for you all. Hang in there! Cherish the many memories you have as I am sure you have many after 25 years!

 

[CJ's Mommy]

I am terribly sorry for you and your children. How awful. I'm sure these words ring flat with what you are dealing with right now. But I did want to say that you and your kids will be in my thoughts.

As for the trip, I honestly would postpone it right now, not cancel. Here's why:
1) It is just sooo soon after his passing and as you stated your youngest is in a state of shock right now. I personally feel that it may be best to deal with all of these raw emotions and make an emergency therapy appointment for you and your kids once the funeral arrangements are made.

2) You want to allow yourself and your children, especially the youngest one, the time to heal and deal with that pain before "moving on". There is a time period (different for everyone) that things will not be okay, or "normal" and that is part of the grieving process. And the time frame may be different for each member of your family, so you wouldn't want to interrupt or disturb this process for yourself or the kids.

3) I could be totally off base here, and I am not trying to be anything but helpful and loving, BUT, do you honestly think that any of you will be able to handle much less enjoy a Disney trip right now? You could just explain to the kids that you WILL be going to Disney, just not in 2 weeks because you all need time to come to terms with this, and then decide as a family and maybe with the therapist what a reasonable amount of time to wait is.

I hope you can determine what is best for you and your family, and as I said I am so terribly sorry that this has happened to you. I don't know what else to say, I'm just so sorry for you. Keep your chin up, and know that so many Disers are thinking of you and your kids.

 

[mncherokee]

 

[melancholywings]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. My parents died when I was 18, and I can understand what your kids might be feeling. They may be asking because they need to escape the situation. In my case I ran off to college the week of the funeral and spent 10 years not dealing with my feelings. I don't think what I did helped me. I would ask the older kids what they'd like to do, and suggest to reschedual. Giving them a voice might help them feel like they have some control right now.
My heart goes out to you.

 

[Denise Campanile]

My prayers are with you. I also am a YW. My DH passed away Mother's Day 2006, my close friend, 9/06, and my Mom, Feb 07' This is such a traumatic time for all you and your family, I agree with some of the others..maybe to postpone it to a later date. WDW is such a happy place, you will be going not only in a state of mind that is so so sad, but you don't want the other children to associate Dis with death. Maybe you can tell the little one, that the parks are messed up from the storm, that they need time to clean up. She won't know the difference. The others are at such a crucial age, and they will carry heavy hearts when they are there and it will be tough enough when you do go on your first visit. There is so much to take in right now, I'm still struggling and I only was fortunate to find this sight now, and there is alot here to help me then I've had in the past two years( even though someone did mention it, I didn't remember) Take small steps and try to keep it simple. May God Be With You

 

[MissyDVC]

I am so very sorry for the great loss for you and your family.

 

[Fabinva]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[emh1129]

I'm so, so sorry.

 

[Mickeysears]

I am so sorry for you loss, I cannot imagine what you are going through, I like to think if it happened to me I would still go and that DP would do the same, it would be hard but none the less, maybe that bit more special.

I am thinking of you and your family at this sad time

xxxx

 

[julezdisney]

I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said- my thoughts and prayers are with you. Whatever you decide will be the best decision.

May God carry you in these difficult times.

 

[NY_MOM]

I wish to extend my deepest heartfelt condolences to you,your children and your entire family.

 

[lucyanna girl]

I'm so sorry. May God send you comfort.

Penny

 

[frtchr]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You and your kids are in my thoughts.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes, but I know I'd wait a few days before making any decisions. Let your mind clear just a little bit and you'll know what you should do.

As an outsider to the situation, I'd suggest going if at all possible. Your kids need to see that life goes on and that there is still happiness even if you spend some (much) of the time fighting back tears.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I am so sorry

 

[disneyplanningdad]

He is in my prayers.

 

[buffalogirl]

I'm so very sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[DallyGirl]

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

From personal experience, my DH's brother died earlier this year and we had a trip planned two weeks after his passing. We almost cancelled our trip but decided to go and we were really glad we did. After all of the craziness after such an unexpected passing, it was a welcome relief for both of us and our DD. We were able to relax, get away from the issues at hand for a little bit and came home rejuvenated and ready to deal with the aftermath with clear minds and rested souls.

No matter what you decide, it will be the best for your family. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[mom2zandjsquared]

I am so very sorry to read of your loss. I hope that your family can get through this time.

 

[Jenvenza]

My hearts breaks for you. I am so sorry.